Olivia Wilde Is Your New Pregnancy Rumor
“Excuse me for a second- ‘The fuck did you just say?”
Apparently there’s a rumor going around that Olivia Wilde is pregnant, and this may come as a shock to you, but I’m not buying this one. Mostly because Reese Witherspoon is and everyone knows pregnancy is a zero-sum game. But science aside, if Olivia is somehow pregnant, that would make Jason Sudeikis the father and I don’t know how that doesn’t prove he also knocked up January Jones. Clearly the man’s running around Hollywood with an extra-virile cock while continuing to find work in shitty comedy after shitty comedy. He’s like a Child Support Fairy, so that solves that mystery. Ha! For a minute there, I actually thought women were serious when they say they just want someone who makes them laugh. I’ll go curl up in a ball of loneliness now.