Olivia Wilde is Single

February 8th, 2011 // 68 Comments

Olivia Wilde and her husband Bastardo Luckiestando (I’m guessing here.) have officially separated. People has the exclusive:

“They have been living apart after trying for quite some time to make their relationship work,” says a source.
Wilde, 26, eloped with Ruspoli, 35, an Italian prince whose family owns Rome’s Palazzo Ruspoli, when she 18 years old.

Wait. Olivia Wilde was married to an Italian prince? Jesus. If this guy can’t keep a woman happy, what chance does the Average Joe have? We might as well stay cold and emotionally distant, yet conveniently available for sex, from here on out. I mean, what’s the point? *pulls hoodie over head* I’ll just be over here, alone, handsomely brooding. Pain so palpable you want to take me home and nurse me to health like an injured bird. An injured bird who likes pancakes. Just throwing that out there.

Adding… Et tu, Jodie Foster?

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. Mortimer Duke

    He probably got tired of fucking her and jamming his dick into bone matter. And we all know girls that skinny have eating disorders which keep them from getting wet. So I know it felt like he was sticking his penis in a box of Puppy Chow.

  2. Mooty

    That dress is just SCREAMING “I want a Bentley”

  3. krutboo

    she looks terrible in this pic – skeletor looking in the face and rail fucking thin. Bitch needs to eat a sandwich

  4. Typical Superficial Reader

    I TOTALLY HAVE A CHANCE WITH HER NOW.

  5. Satan's bitch

    I feel like the only person on Earth (or in Hell for that matter) who thinks this chick is as boringly bland as any female can be and still get famous. I mean, for what, who the fuck knows? She’s dull and skinny, no tits and no talent. Dammit, the boss is involved in this one, isn’t he… Satan!

    • Deacon Jones

      Agreed. This dude could probably roll to the local topless beach back in Italia and have 4 college girls in the convertible Bentley within minutes. No loss on his end. He had her at her prime.

    • The Listener

      A lot of young female celebrities in their 20s and 30s are considered hot simply because their young and everything is still firm and tight on their bodies. But in my opinion there are quite a few female celebs that look no hotter than the girls I went to high school with. Pretty girls, but not smoking hot.

  6. Well this puts the urban myth to rest…you do NOT need large boobs to have them sag to your waist.

  7. RichPort

    Aaaaaand another stylist loses their job…

  8. Life imitating Rough

    She had to go for a prince? I can’t relate to that. How about if your family owns a basement? I’m not good enough for her? I hate these high maintenance bitches…

  9. just some guy

    I hope she and Megan Fox get together for that love tryst Megan suggested several months ago. And film it. Definitely film it. Make posters, calendars. The Works!

  10. More like Celine Dion.

  11. Olivia Wilde Single
    cynicalspinster
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh hi there, 1981 called, it wants it’s hideous clothes back.

  12. teresa

    Wow, she’s hideous.

  13. jojo

    Jodie Fosters pussy eating skills destroy yet another marriage. Someone needs to stop her before she snacks on Minka Kelly. You listening Mr. Jeter?

  14. teresa

    “brooding and handsome”? Aw, poor boy, I’ll keep you company and we can brood together!

  15. jo

    Their split is just a PR thing to boost her career. Nothing is real in hollyweird.

  16. That Guy

    I blame Justin Timberlake. :P

  17. mamamiasweetpeaches

    She looks like Xena Warrior Princess Sucking A Lemon

  18. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Jesus Christ those JUST GO WITH IT pop up ads are annoying!

  19. Olivia Wilde Single
    Gack
    Commented on this photo:

    DISCO!

  20. IttyBittyTittyCommittee

    Fish–you’re on fire. Another nice blurb.
    You must be on the sauce again.
    Nice use of italics

  21. nonminti

    Wow… she literally had prince on a white horse! anyway,she needs to eat a little bit because I am not jealous enough,so something is really wrong.

  22. Mitch

    Why does her face look square? She looks like a dude and if I wanted a chick who looked like a dude I’d just go for the dude and not have to deal with the drama and psycho chick shit.

  23. Well after dumping a prince she might as well pick up a homeless man. Looks like Gary Shandling is gonna get laid.

  24. I’ve been reading one great post after another today. You’re really on your game, Fish! :)

  25. See Alice

    Look at her cheeks . They have caved in !

  26. Joe Blow

    Flame me all you want, but Khloe Kardashian is hotter than this bag of bones.

    • teresa

      Like a champ, I resoundingly concur no i don’t like girls at all, and I’m not a fan nor ever watch tv.

  27. The Listener

    The entertainment media likes to jump the gun sometimes and state someone’s single when he/she is only separated from his/her spouse. You’re not single until the divorce papers are final. Any judge in a court of law will tell you that.

  28. teresa

    I get it! She’s like me, she has to be pretty skinny for her angular face to look decent. But I’m pretty small boned compared to her. She’s pretty and she looked fantastic a few years back when. She shudda kept boning her husband but her career came first. I don’t like her as a person, and what she stands for, which is nothing pretty much.

  29. NACHO

    no vegans for me eat some animal

  30. Olivia Wilde Single
    still hit it
    Commented on this photo:

    i think she picked up that outfit at m.c. hammer’s gargae sale

  31. teresa

    Yeah no crap. I eat a lot of meat, 3x what they say, its good for you.

  32. Solomon Ketchy

    She does look a little like Darth Vader in these pics. With his helmet on, you sillies!

  33. Olivia Wilde Single
    allieb
    Commented on this photo:

    omg did she steal that purse from the aladdin movie or what?

  34. Amy

    Sweet Baby Jesus, The bulimia face, cleavage, and disco-era pantsuit are enough to announce to the entire free world. “I’m on the market!!!!”

  35. CaliSamSam

    And her last name, once again, is pronounced as it is spelled: COCKBURN.

  36. Olivia Wilde Single
    Lena
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I the only one noticing what looks like the easy access crotch pants?

  37. Her face looks like a mixture of Angelina Jolie’s and Emma Stone’s…not a fan of either (in fact, I find Angelina “Homewrecker” Jolie to be extremely FUGLY), and definitely not a fan of this girl either. I’d never even heard of her until recently, so she’s obviously not that important or that big of a celebrity. She looks like a fool in this get-up and like she’s just crying out for attention.

  38. annalee

    Her ex husband was surprisingly a down to earth guy and really good looking. He had a website with pictures of her and a friend top less in the Caribbean. The friends was top less and hot! Anyways, I hope I now can meet her ex man cause he was a hot piece for sure!

  39. Olivia Wilde Single
    Mike W
    Commented on this photo:

    YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FINALLY!!!
    SO CLOSE SO FAR, OLIVIA IM SINGLE NOW!!

  40. jenn

    she’s beautiful lady but those bangs are terrible…

  41. babooda

    Is it possible to airbrush a person’s image in every scene in a movie? Because I think that is exactly what the people at the Tron production company had to do with this “skeleton walking” . Either that is what happened or her entire performance in Tron was CGI.

  42. captain america

    well, I’M TOO…….
    find a solution.

  43. Olivia Wilde Single
    Miskita
    Commented on this photo:

    i think this beyotch is soooooooo highly OVERRATED!

    She has one of the manliest faces/jawlines I’ve seen! And her body looks like a 12 year old boy’s!!

    This societies perception of “beauty” is so sick :(

  44. Olivia Wilde Single
    Jay
    Commented on this photo:

    She is a weird- looking woman…not ugly, just weird

  45. Olivia Wilde Single
    Commented on this photo:

    Everything is pretty down to the cheekbones…then it starts to feel like that transitional part of the horror movie, when the innocent fun and underaged drinking ends and the murder begins.

Leave A Comment