Oksana: ‘Mel Gibson Could Only Get a Boner By Punching Me’

January 6th, 2011 // 45 Comments
Mel Gibson

In case you thought outrageous claims against Mel Gibson were over with the start of the new year, Oksana Grigorieva apparently just now remembered Mel used to beat her during sex because that’s the only way he can get an erection. Then again, something like that’s easy to forget. Like where you left your keys, or getting shot in the neck while pregnant which will probably be the next claim. TMZ reports:

Sources tell TMZ … during Oksana’s deposition Tuesday in her custody war with Mel … she testified that Mel had problems performing and the way he got aroused with her was to beat her.
The claim is as curious as it is shocking, since we’re told Oksana never uttered a peep about such violence in her multiple interviews with the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department.

While Oksana is obviously lying, the Catch-22 here is that whether or not you think he’s Hitler incarnate or Christ himself, if someone came up to you and said, “Hey, Mel Gibson can only get a boner by punching a chick,” there’s no way you wouldn’t believe them. It’s just way too plausible. Like finding out Britney Spears puts hot fudge on hamburgers. The only amazing part is that no one guessed it sooner. It just makes so much sense.

superficial

  1. Taz

    That’s awesome!

  2. Frank Booth

    BABY WANTS TO FUCK

  3. This isn’t normal?

  4. how is this news? i know i’d get a boner by punching either of them… and that’s saying something as i have a vagina.

  5. Cock Dr

    Can we hook him up with some of those Jersey Shore bimbos?
    They’re usually so numbed up with alcohol that I don’t think they would care.

  6. Jessica

    Oksana is the most reliable source ever.

    • mud butt

      HEY!!! I was the source, dammit!!! See how it says “sources tell TMZ?” Well, that was ME! Just some random shmoe out here who called the butt nugget that always walks around with a travel mug. Viola’ bitches!!!

  7. dude

    I think we can all agree that anyone could get a boner by punching Oksana.

  8. coco's tits

    I would like to punch her with my own boner. POW!! Right in the kisser

  9. That’s just fucking creepy…

  10. GravyLeg

    At this point I have heard Mel’s rants, his tirades, and hate filled speech and STILL, I would take his word over that Russian skank’s any day. She set him up on such a monumental scale it is just freakish. Granted, he acted the asshole and has screwed up views on the world but at the same time, she was working him and trying to get these responses from him. I hope she dies because she is a man trapping piece of shit.

  11. Rough of virtue

    ‘By any means necessary, Oksana X. I will not be caught in the wrong side of history. I can tell you that much…

  12. GravyLeg

    Well, on the other hand, no female would EVER lie for the shot at a multi-million dollar paternity/custody settlement.

  13. Oh the old “need to punch you to get hard” ploy. Classic. That Mel is such the romantic flirt.

  14. I can only get wet if I see Mel punching Oksana with the beaver hand puppet.

  15. Deacon Jones

    Hey, fuck it!

    If I had that blond on the left, I’d be punching those babies, bobbing and weaving, while Rocky played in the background. On cocaine of course.

  16. IreneWienne

    Mel: Was it worth to have an extra marital affair without a condom? Just asking……………..

  17. Dirk the impailer...

    Don’t have much use for him — pretty pitiful excuse for a man who needs to learn what happens when you “think” with your penis instead of your brain..

    But this gold digging whore is making me actually feel sorry for him.

  18. Rebecca

    Mel Gibson is soooo lucky that this lady is as crazy (possibly crazier) than he is. Their poor kid though, it’s got double the crazy genes.

  19. WTF

    And she still chose to have a baby with him? Right!

  20. INMATE 12236969

    Well the good thing is at least he punch the bitch; we here in D Block only punch our bitch if she steals our cigarettes—but Wesley don’t smoke.

    Hey come here you vampire ho.

  21. amy chicken sandwich

    Yeah right Oksana. I’m sure Mel liked a little rough sex every now and again (who doesn’t?) and she, grasping at straws, saw it as a way to exaggerate her claims.

  22. Ed

    She left out the part about liking it.

  23. wim

    psssssssssssst: mel?
    AMERICAN WOMEN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE DOLLARS……………

  24. This article made me hard.

  25. Johnny Cage

    F*ck the Techno Viking, Mel Gibson is my new badassery hero. Hell, Oksana should be damn glad I’m not doing her. Sex with me would be like watching the Josh Koscheck vs Anthony Johnson. Submission holds and all.

  26. datroof

    hmmmm… this money grubbing lying whore makes me rethink the wisdom of my russian mail order bride

  27. Aussie Mama

    someone deport the bitch. what a discreet damsel she shows she is yet again. classless piece of shite.
    besides…bit of rough is good. if it aint dirty, your not doing it right!

  28. Johnny Cage

    I just came extremely hard in my jeans.

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