OJ Simpson still alive, juicing people

May 12th, 2006 // 197 Comments

oj-juiced.jpgAnd the winner for most pathetic human being of the week goes to OJ Simpson for releasing a hidden-camera prank DVD called Juiced in which he pretends to sell his getaway car, the white Ford Bronco, and engages in some other inhumanly stupid “pranks.” In the Ford Bronco bit, he’s selling the vehicle at a used car lot and tells the buyer:

“It was good for me – it helped me get away. It’s a car that I personally made famous. The car has escapability, if you ever get into some trouble.” In other none-too-side-splitting stunts on the yet-to-be released DVD, the double-murder acquitee poses as a rapper, an elderly white man in a bingo game for senior citizens, a windshield-washer and a pizza delivery man. While cash-strapped Simpson is eager to hawk the DVD, it’s unclear whether any profits will go directly to the families of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman, whom Simpson was ordered to pay $33.5 million after being found liable for their deaths in a civil suit. Goldman’s father, Fred, tells “Inside Edition” that any profits Simpson makes from “Juiced” will be “blood money.”

You know the difference between Punk’d and Juiced? Ashton Kutcher pranks celebrities with elaborate stunts whereas OJ Simpson pranks regular folks by joking about how he’s murders people. I don’t understand how him dressing up as a windshield washer or a pizza delivery guy is supposed to be funny. Does he rip off his costume at the end, stab them in the face and yell, “You’ve been Juiced!” Because I’m pretty sure he just stole that from a Mad TV skit from like 8 years ago.



  1. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Yay for a new post!

  2. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Drink Apple Juice

    O.J. Will Kill You —————->

  3. 86

    Am I the only one who finds this hilarious?

  4. Tracie

    Disgusting, irritating, angering, and sickening, man. Just absolutely horrible on all levels.

  5. bigfatmomma

    kinda funny, actually. in a laughing at you kind of way

  6. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Hey, O.J., I’m so glad that you followed through and have worked so tirelessly to find and catch your wife’s killer. I feel so much better knowing that the bastard who repeatedly stabbed her is behind bars and is receiving his just punishment.

  7. BarbadoSlim

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA O.J.!! O.J.!! STOP IT! STOP IT! you’re killin’ me hahahahahaha

    no dooode, seriously, you’re killing me.

  8. 86

    I can’t believe he still has that bronco.

  9. OJ Simpson: Setting the bar for all us black folks.

    And by setting the bar, I mean making us look bad.


  10. IFuckingHateYou

    O.J. was funny as hell in the Naked Gun movies, I’m sure this DVD will be awesome. All the guy did was kill some skanky whore & her fag buddy, I bet nobody would be bitching if it was Paris. Lemme tell ya, Nicole Brown Simpson was the Paris of her day.

  11. BarbadoSlim

    #8…I can’t believe he still has any car.

  12. 86

    If I looked up from my bingo gamepiece and saw OJ Simpson sitting beside me in whiteface, I’d crap myself. Those poor old folks.

  13. Tracie

    I guess I should explain the extreme outrage I feel about this a little. My sister was mudered by her ex-husband after she found a new boyfriend that her ex was insanely jealous of also. The only difference with O. J. being that my ex-bother-in-law committed suicide after he killed my sister. My nephews were left orphans, unlike O. J.’s lucky kids, who got to be raised by him.
    All right, back to the fun and hilarity guys.

  14. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Gee, way to be a downer.

    But really, that’s horrible & I’m sorry. =(

  15. waterranger

    That is the lamest thing I have ever heard.

    In other news, Kim Basinger is making a Lifetime TV Movie about monks and they are filming it at my university!

  16. 86

    They should call it “monked”

  17. Lynette Carrington

    Satan, OJ. OJ, Satan.

  18. mawabef

    Somebody ought to rip that hat off his head! Forget that whole murderer thing….worse than that, he’s obviously a BANDWAGONER! He should be ashamed!

    Here We Go Steelers!

  19. zooza

    wearing a steeler hat?? what a sellout

  20. BarbadoSlim

    Well, let’s just say his kids ain’t that lucky, that is one FUCKED UP household if reports are true.

  21. waterranger

    #16 – Clever! haha! :)

  22. bigponie

    Surgeon General Warning:

    O.J. may be bad for your health, can cause severe panic attack and in some cases hearts have actually jump out of chest. Will cause sudden holes in skin with uncontrollabe bleeding. Studies also found that “death” is certain when in contact with O.J. in the dead of night.

    Warning!! avoid contact with O.J. at all cost

  23. Grphdesi23

    Johnnie Cochran was the devil’s lawyer.

    He should be jailed for convincing a jury to let OJ free.

  24. Dr.Rokter


    Seeing as he’s dead, I think he’s probably busily working off his debt as we speak.

  25. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    “He’s the DEVIL, Bobbie Boucher!”

  26. Grphdesi23

    Actually, when this case was all the talk in the media, my friend said that Nicole’s family, having been poor, forced her to stay with Simpson so that they would be wealthy and taken care of.

    If that’s true, that’s FUCKED UP!

  27. BarbadoSlim

    #23 I wouldn’t worry about it, where he’s at jail is the last of Cochran’s worries.

  28. blackfrancis

    I actually golfed with him at a public course in Encino, CA.

    Nicest double killer I’ve ever met.

  29. ShoNuff

    I hope every single penny goes to Fred Goldman. In fact, Fred Goldman should have been allowed to make OJ his bitch for life. “OJ! Go suck that donkey’s cock!” “OJ! I have the runs, come keep me company.” “OJ! Put these bra and panties on and go stand in front of that train.”

  30. 86

    If the glove doesn’t fit, you must go broke and rip off a simp white kid’s prank show to make ends meet.

  31. Mary45

    #10 Not Funny – Paris is a skank and we all hate her, but no one deserves to be hacked to death by a coked out exhusband.

  32. Mooserepellant

    OJ is like Michael Jackson… nobody cares anymore and we are all just sort of waiting for him to die.

    #15 WOW! Another thing for nobody to give a shit about. Thank you.

  33. 86

    #31…I dunno. I might be ok with it if it’s Paris.

  34. Mooserepellant

    For anybody who didn’t get it, “Juiced” is a pun off of OJ’s name. And he’s witty, too! sigh.

  35. NakedPenguin

    I remember in 5th grade we watched the verdict to the OJ trial during art class. After the screams of my art teacher’s disappointment, never again did i finger paint…

    and now the painful memories are comming back… bastard*

  36. tsarinaamanda


    It would be funny ONLY if it was Paris. It would save all of the young, “talented” Hollywood men from her super-herpes.

  37. Giggles

    *** M U R D E R E R ***

  38. not-one-of-you

    “pathetic human being of the week”
    pathetic monster, he is not a human being. he is dead to me already. and we grew up thinking # 32 (his bflo bills #) was really great. sickening, and who backed this piece-of-shit shit? Satan, Inc?

  39. Giggles

    #13 Tracie — So very sorry.

  40. O.J. did find his wife’s killer, he sees him everyday he looks in the mirror. Remember that day when he was acquitted, remember all the blacks celebrating like their team won the Super Bowl? There will never be racial harmony in America because blacks like it that way. Just like O.J. got off by way of the race card (he’d have been guilty if his wife was black), 300 years from now they’ll be some black crying racism on the moon.

  41. BarbadoSlim

    As the producers approached Ms. Hilton with a release form after OJ stopped screaming YOU’VE BEEN JUICED!!! they noticed her skin had gone pale as a red stain approached the nearby sewer, and dog barked in the distance…

  42. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    I hope the chicken shit jury that acquitted him have and are tortured every day of their lives for letting a psycho murderer like him go free.

    Him being prosecuted was never about him being prosecuted because he committed a heinous crime, it was him being “persecuted” because he was black. That a large group of black people backed him up, whether or not he was guilty, but just because he was black, is an absolute disgrace. Can you believe that they DID NOT CARE that he murdered his wife, all that mattered was that he was a “brutha” and ol’ Whitey was trying to bring him down because he was a successful black man. Makes me sick.

  43. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Maybe we can introduce O.J. and Paris, and she’ll give him HIV and then he’ll die.

  44. #42 – Amen. You’re preaching to the choir.

  45. TrannyGranny

    I love OJ. I think I may have said this before, but Any black man in America who can murder a pretty blonde white girl and get away with it proves, once and for all, that racial equality has been met. Thank god all that shit’s over. Now the problem is people who don’t have enough money to buy out a murder trial.

  46. ebayfan414

    Hey this guy’s face looks familiar!! I think I know him from somewhere…now what was it? Is he that guy that works at starbucks….?….no…..porno?….nah, too ugly…..hmmmmm…..Oh! Oh yeah! He fucking murdered someone and then was released.

  47. ebayfan414

    (Because he’s ‘color challenged’)

  48. sunglassali

    Thats so funny it HERTZ!

    haha. . . ok, I’m done. . .

  49. Yoda a Green Schlong Has

    @23 – Johnny Cockroach is dead, so he never paid for his crime, “if it doesn’t fit, you must acquit!” I hope the fucking maggots choke on your corpse, bitch.

    @42 – O.J. sold his assets, leases everything, and lives in Florida on his NFL pension, which is untouchable by the courts, so he can avoid paying the victims’ families a dime.

    @45 – Remember the crowds of blacks cheering, “Free the Juice!”, and the celebrations after his acquittal by a brain-dead racist jury? O.J. and his accomplices set race relations back decades.

    I will not be alone in celebrating on the day that someone puts a bullet in that freak’s brain.

  50. Dee


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