O.J. Simpson is a creature of habit – and murder, don’t forget murder

September 24th, 2007 // 125 Comments

A few weeks ago O.J. Simpson’s girlfriend cheated on him with a handyman. O.J. confronted the guy and threatened to kill him. Now why does this sound familiar? The New York Post reports:

With his gal pal, Nicole look-alike Christie Prody, next to him, Simpson peeled his Lexus sedan into the driveway in the late evening as Marlene Gonzalez was parking her brawny hubby’s pickup truck.
Simpson made a beeline for her, shouting, “I need to f- – -ing talk to you,” Marlene Gonzalez said.
He told her that her husband had sex with Prody earlier that day, she said.
“I told him he had to solve that problem with his girlfriend,” she said.
Janos Gonzalez, who had been inside, emerged and told Simpson to leave.
But Simpson told the lantern-jawed lothario: “Come over here. I’m going to f- – -ing kill you,” Marlene Gonzalez said.
Simpson then placed his hand behind him as if drawing a gun, she said.

Okay, stop for a minute. If you’ve had sex with O.J. Simpson’s girlfriend and he shows up at your house threatening to kill you, it’s a safe bet that HE F—ING WILL! How stupid do you get? Who does this guy think he is coming out of the house? I didn’t know Superman’s real name was Janos Gonzalez. Apparently I’ve been misinformed, because Janos here is going to demonstrate how bullets bounce off his chest.

NOTE: When did the Post start writing like a harlequin novel? “Brawny hubby?” “Lantern-jawed lothario?” This isn’t even Page Six, this is their actual news. I tried to read about the presidential candidates, but I got confused when the stable-hand started churning the lady-of-the-house’s butter while the baron was out to market.


  1. rishi


  2. havoc

    Damn, he got fat.

    Like Britney.


  3. BIGsteamyONE

    GUILTY !

  4. Hemlock Queen

    That son of bitch should already be on death row for the first two murders he committed. And who the fuck would want to sleep with him anyway? gross. gross gross gross.

  5. BunnyButt

    1. I’ve seen pics of OJ’s girlfriend, and she does NOT look like Nicole. Okay, maybe like Nicole if Nicole had been hit with an ugly stick a few times.

    2. How stupid is that handyman to fool around with OJ’s woman? Dude, remember what happened last time, and Nicole didn’t even do the guy?

  6. Sheepz

    Bleeh. Seventh

  7. smegma

    Looks like it’s time for O.J. to get head from Christie Prody.

  8. LL

    RE When did the Post start writing like a Harlequin novel? This isn’t even Page Six, this is their actual news.

    Yeah, I think the real question is, why is this considered news at all? Just because it’s OJ? Oh, wait, it’s the New York Post. You do know that’s not a real newspaper, right? The NY Post is news like E News is news. Mystery solved.

  9. 2ndTime

    Cmon O.J.! You haven’t killed anyone in what 13 years. Do the dude and lets see if the 2nd time is the charm. You are a penniless former celebrity. The jury won’t be on your side this time.

  10. Mindless American Nigs

    Whatever O.J. did, he didn’t do it.

  11. hill

    Wow, guess he got fat on that money he was SUPPOSED to pay the Goldman’s. What a shame, I love American justice…. seriously.

  12. miggs

    “Lantern-jawed” is right. For Christie Prody. She’s not a Nicole lookalike, she’s Charlie Sheen with cartoonish implants.


  14. chitty chitty

    the better question is how much of an attention starved slut must you be to be his girlfriend for the last 12 years?

  15. Don

    I was gonna say something about the boobs, but #13 beat me to it.

  16. jacknasty

    This post made my head hurt. I’m just glad I don’t know anybody who has slept with OJ.

    Also, I totally agree I stopped mid sentence at “lantern-jawed lothario” What does that even mean? His jaw is shaped like a lantern? or that he has fire in his mouth?

  17. nasty is as nasty does

    white fathers must be more loving and involved with their daughters or your daughter will run off with the first of many black cocks she can find. it’s a shame.

  18. Rob

    I’m not saying I agree with him…..but I understand.

  19. Paranoid Welfare Recipient (available only in darker colors)

    Even as we speak, the LA crime lab is splashing O.J.’s blood into test tubes, just in case something…unfortunate…happens to the honky-hummered handyman.

  20. adeliza



  21. But he keeps getting women … being a superstar has it’s priveledges

    Hot Babes and retro video games

  22. no1justminda

    Gee, someone obviously didn’t have a TV, let alone leave the house, 12 years ago!

  23. BunnyButt

    Yeah, I’m not completely sure what #18 is trying to say either, but, no matter what spin you put on it, it’s pretty sick.

  24. she has a nice rack, Where are the pictures of her topless?

  25. MrSemprini

    I’m sorry. I stopped reading after I saw her boobies. Wow. Boobies. Boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy and boobedy. Size: wowie. Firmness: Wowie, kazowie. Nipples: Unknown Wowie. Where can I get a grant to gain more information?

  26. shameless

    so is she paying his bills? isn’t he suppose to be poor? she’s been taking care of him all this time? gosh, her parents must be proud.

  27. Cindy

    Sick. Look at the cigar and realize: it hasn’t been in his mouth. eeeewwwww.

  28. pppp

    something tells me OJ has been living off the juice in those melons all this time.

  29. D

    Number 13 is brilliant.

    Holy Jeepers, Shaggy, that girl has nice titties, but DAMN is she ugly.

  30. jrzmommy

    My gosh, she’s just so……….so………her mother shoulda named her Grace is all I can say…………..

  31. NewOrleansNegroSwimleague

    Wow, even thought he is old, fat, and has this problem with slicing up loved ones and their toy-boys…., He’s still getting better looking pussy than I am..sheesh.

  32. Splooge

    I think she’s ugly, but I haven’t finished looking at her boobs yet.
    I’ll get back to you on that.


  34. igroovin

    she needs to wake up. or she could be 6 ft under soon.

  35. yukadoozer

    boobs bigger than head is not a good look

  36. igroovin

    it bugs how he’s smiling with his bling and cigar. he needs to be taken out of society before he goes on another killing spree.

  37. doinAgardener

    OJ when you kill Christine remember don’t try to stabher in the boobs. Your knife will bounce right back into your face. I know why you dated a girl with such huge implants. She can’t laugh at the penile implant you got so your dick can look hard. Have fun in prison you old man.

  38. veggi

    Seriously, she has the *dumping swanson tv dinners onto a plate* “come on ya’ll, dinners ready! I’ve been slavin’ over this for hours!” look…..

  39. El-Coyote

    #36 – I disagree. You may not want to take that look home to mama but you damn sure can bet a roll in the hay would be just fine… Bring the melons to me….

  40. David

    It’s going to be pretty difficult to muster up any sympathy for Christine after OJ inevitably gives her the PEZ dispenser treatment. Maybe she’s an adrenaline junkie, and what could keep up the sensation that you’ll be killed any second like dating “The Juice”?

  41. Bobby Peru

    Listen up people. OJ is not poor! For a guy who should be on death row he is living a really nice lifestyle that many of you will never achieve. He gets an NFL pension around $300,000 a year that the Goldmans were not able to touch in their civil suit judgement. And in case some of you forgot how the world works if a man was/is/will be rich and famous then women will ALWAYS make themselves available to him. You can say she’s ugly or whatever but the truth is she’s not a bad looking chick and she has nice big boobies. Look around at the 60 year old guys in your town and then look at the quality of kitty they are punching. You are just angry that OJ got off scott free 12 years ago and want payback. And some of you hate that white chicks like big black penis.

  42. craigj

    I disagree with #36 on principle.

  43. craigj

    I disagree with #36 on principle.

  44. As to what Prody is thinking…remember this is the chick who sold a story a few years back (during one of her MANY break-ups with OJ) to the tabloids about how OJ confessed to her that he committed the murders.

    She knows exactly what’s she’s with.

  45. George Best

    you know you have failed as parents if your white kid starts dating, marrying, or screwing the blacks no matter how many Heismans he won or records he sold. Do you really think Nicole Browns parents were proud that their kid married OJ simpson? Meanwhile the black parents are proud if their kid scores a white trophy to marry or screw. When my daughter starts dating, she knows her inheritance is out the window if she goes to the other side. Prodys parents must be proud.

  46. mrs. ernestine jones


    considering this chick is a drug addict and has had several of her own run ins with the law, she’s hardly a good girl taken in by a wolf. she’s just as trashy and low down as the dog she’s sleeping with. she obviously is an old woman who hasn’t grown out of her teenage obsession with bad, dangerous guys. which is pathetic.

  47. IWONKY

    ah man, she’s makin’ me sick – I would need a paper bag to catch vomit and another one for her head

  48. gARY

    His pet name for her is “Chalk Outline”.

  49. BunnyButt

    #46, you must not know any black people if you think “black parents are proud if their kid scores a white trophy to marry or screw”.

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