O.J. Simpson is a creature of habit – and murder, don’t forget murder

September 24th, 2007 // 125 Comments
oj_simpson_girlfriend_00.jpg

A few weeks ago O.J. Simpson’s girlfriend cheated on him with a handyman. O.J. confronted the guy and threatened to kill him. Now why does this sound familiar? The New York Post reports:

With his gal pal, Nicole look-alike Christie Prody, next to him, Simpson peeled his Lexus sedan into the driveway in the late evening as Marlene Gonzalez was parking her brawny hubby’s pickup truck.
Simpson made a beeline for her, shouting, “I need to f- – -ing talk to you,” Marlene Gonzalez said.
He told her that her husband had sex with Prody earlier that day, she said.
“I told him he had to solve that problem with his girlfriend,” she said.
Janos Gonzalez, who had been inside, emerged and told Simpson to leave.
But Simpson told the lantern-jawed lothario: “Come over here. I’m going to f- – -ing kill you,” Marlene Gonzalez said.
Simpson then placed his hand behind him as if drawing a gun, she said.

Okay, stop for a minute. If you’ve had sex with O.J. Simpson’s girlfriend and he shows up at your house threatening to kill you, it’s a safe bet that HE F—ING WILL! How stupid do you get? Who does this guy think he is coming out of the house? I didn’t know Superman’s real name was Janos Gonzalez. Apparently I’ve been misinformed, because Janos here is going to demonstrate how bullets bounce off his chest.

NOTE: When did the Post start writing like a harlequin novel? “Brawny hubby?” “Lantern-jawed lothario?” This isn’t even Page Six, this is their actual news. I tried to read about the presidential candidates, but I got confused when the stable-hand started churning the lady-of-the-house’s butter while the baron was out to market.

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Comments (125)

  1. tibi | September 24, 2007 at 11:23 am

    first

    Reply
  2. rishi | September 24, 2007 at 11:26 am

    first

    Reply
  3. havoc | September 24, 2007 at 11:27 am

    Damn, he got fat.

    Like Britney.

    .

    Reply
  4. BIGsteamyONE | September 24, 2007 at 11:30 am

    GUILTY !

    Reply
  5. Hemlock Queen | September 24, 2007 at 11:33 am

    That son of bitch should already be on death row for the first two murders he committed. And who the fuck would want to sleep with him anyway? gross. gross gross gross.

    Reply
  6. BunnyButt | September 24, 2007 at 11:35 am

    1. I’ve seen pics of OJ’s girlfriend, and she does NOT look like Nicole. Okay, maybe like Nicole if Nicole had been hit with an ugly stick a few times.

    2. How stupid is that handyman to fool around with OJ’s woman? Dude, remember what happened last time, and Nicole didn’t even do the guy?

    Reply
  7. Sheepz | September 24, 2007 at 11:43 am

    Bleeh. Seventh

    Reply
  8. smegma | September 24, 2007 at 11:45 am

    Looks like it’s time for O.J. to get head from Christie Prody.

    Reply
  9. LL | September 24, 2007 at 11:46 am

    RE When did the Post start writing like a Harlequin novel? This isn’t even Page Six, this is their actual news.

    Yeah, I think the real question is, why is this considered news at all? Just because it’s OJ? Oh, wait, it’s the New York Post. You do know that’s not a real newspaper, right? The NY Post is news like E News is news. Mystery solved.

    Reply
  10. 2ndTime | September 24, 2007 at 11:46 am

    Cmon O.J.! You haven’t killed anyone in what 13 years. Do the dude and lets see if the 2nd time is the charm. You are a penniless former celebrity. The jury won’t be on your side this time.

    Reply
  11. Mindless American Nigs | September 24, 2007 at 11:48 am

    Whatever O.J. did, he didn’t do it.

    Reply
  12. hill | September 24, 2007 at 11:48 am

    Wow, guess he got fat on that money he was SUPPOSED to pay the Goldman’s. What a shame, I love American justice…. seriously.

    Reply
  13. miggs | September 24, 2007 at 11:50 am

    “Lantern-jawed” is right. For Christie Prody. She’s not a Nicole lookalike, she’s Charlie Sheen with cartoonish implants.

    Reply
  14. Giggles | September 24, 2007 at 11:51 am

    *** HOW STUPID IS CHRISTINE PRODY ? *****
    *** HOW STUPID IS CHRISTINE PRODY ? *****
    *** HOW STUPID IS CHRISTINE PRODY ? *****
    *** HOW STUPID IS CHRISTINE PRODY ? *****
    *** HOW STUPID IS CHRISTINE PRODY ? *****

    Reply
  15. chitty chitty | September 24, 2007 at 11:57 am

    the better question is how much of an attention starved slut must you be to be his girlfriend for the last 12 years?

    Reply
  16. Don | September 24, 2007 at 11:58 am

    I was gonna say something about the boobs, but #13 beat me to it.

    Reply
  17. jacknasty | September 24, 2007 at 12:00 pm

    This post made my head hurt. I’m just glad I don’t know anybody who has slept with OJ.

    Also, I totally agree I stopped mid sentence at “lantern-jawed lothario” What does that even mean? His jaw is shaped like a lantern? or that he has fire in his mouth?

    Reply
  18. nasty is as nasty does | September 24, 2007 at 12:00 pm

    white fathers must be more loving and involved with their daughters or your daughter will run off with the first of many black cocks she can find. it’s a shame.

    Reply
  19. Rob | September 24, 2007 at 12:01 pm

    I’m not saying I agree with him…..but I understand.

    Reply
  20. Paranoid Welfare Recipient (available only in darker colors) | September 24, 2007 at 12:01 pm

    Even as we speak, the LA crime lab is splashing O.J.’s blood into test tubes, just in case something…unfortunate…happens to the honky-hummered handyman.

    Reply
  21. adeliza | September 24, 2007 at 12:07 pm

    #18—

    WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?

    Reply
  22. Joe Testosterone | September 24, 2007 at 12:07 pm

    But he keeps getting women … being a superstar has it’s priveledges

    http://testosterone-zone.com
    Hot Babes and retro video games

    Reply
  23. no1justminda | September 24, 2007 at 12:10 pm

    Gee, someone obviously didn’t have a TV, let alone leave the house, 12 years ago!

    Reply
  24. BunnyButt | September 24, 2007 at 12:14 pm

    Yeah, I’m not completely sure what #18 is trying to say either, but, no matter what spin you put on it, it’s pretty sick.

    Reply
  25. Jimbo | September 24, 2007 at 12:15 pm

    she has a nice rack, Where are the pictures of her topless?

    Reply
  26. MrSemprini | September 24, 2007 at 12:16 pm

    I’m sorry. I stopped reading after I saw her boobies. Wow. Boobies. Boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy, boobedy and boobedy. Size: wowie. Firmness: Wowie, kazowie. Nipples: Unknown Wowie. Where can I get a grant to gain more information?

    Reply
  27. shameless | September 24, 2007 at 12:17 pm

    so is she paying his bills? isn’t he suppose to be poor? she’s been taking care of him all this time? gosh, her parents must be proud.

    Reply
  28. Cindy | September 24, 2007 at 12:19 pm

    Sick. Look at the cigar and realize: it hasn’t been in his mouth. eeeewwwww.

    Reply
  29. pppp | September 24, 2007 at 12:19 pm

    something tells me OJ has been living off the juice in those melons all this time.

    Reply
  30. D | September 24, 2007 at 12:21 pm

    Number 13 is brilliant.

    Holy Jeepers, Shaggy, that girl has nice titties, but DAMN is she ugly.

    Reply
  31. jrzmommy | September 24, 2007 at 12:25 pm

    My gosh, she’s just so……….so………her mother shoulda named her Grace is all I can say…………..

    Reply
  32. NewOrleansNegroSwimleague | September 24, 2007 at 12:25 pm

    Wow, even thought he is old, fat, and has this problem with slicing up loved ones and their toy-boys…., He’s still getting better looking pussy than I am..sheesh.

    Reply
  33. Splooge | September 24, 2007 at 12:28 pm

    I think she’s ugly, but I haven’t finished looking at her boobs yet.
    I’ll get back to you on that.

    Reply
  34. Jus' Stupid | September 24, 2007 at 12:28 pm

    HOLY CRAP LOOK AT THEM BOOBIES!!!!!!

    Reply
  35. igroovin | September 24, 2007 at 12:28 pm

    she needs to wake up. or she could be 6 ft under soon.

    Reply
  36. yukadoozer | September 24, 2007 at 12:29 pm

    boobs bigger than head is not a good look

    Reply
  37. igroovin | September 24, 2007 at 12:32 pm

    it bugs how he’s smiling with his bling and cigar. he needs to be taken out of society before he goes on another killing spree.

    Reply
  38. doinAgardener | September 24, 2007 at 12:35 pm

    OJ when you kill Christine remember don’t try to stabher in the boobs. Your knife will bounce right back into your face. I know why you dated a girl with such huge implants. She can’t laugh at the penile implant you got so your dick can look hard. Have fun in prison you old man.

    Reply
  39. veggi | September 24, 2007 at 12:36 pm

    Seriously, she has the *dumping swanson tv dinners onto a plate* “come on ya’ll, dinners ready! I’ve been slavin’ over this for hours!” look…..

    Reply
  40. El-Coyote | September 24, 2007 at 12:36 pm

    #36 – I disagree. You may not want to take that look home to mama but you damn sure can bet a roll in the hay would be just fine… Bring the melons to me….

    Reply
  41. David | September 24, 2007 at 12:37 pm

    It’s going to be pretty difficult to muster up any sympathy for Christine after OJ inevitably gives her the PEZ dispenser treatment. Maybe she’s an adrenaline junkie, and what could keep up the sensation that you’ll be killed any second like dating “The Juice”?

    Reply
  42. Bobby Peru | September 24, 2007 at 12:42 pm

    Listen up people. OJ is not poor! For a guy who should be on death row he is living a really nice lifestyle that many of you will never achieve. He gets an NFL pension around $300,000 a year that the Goldmans were not able to touch in their civil suit judgement. And in case some of you forgot how the world works if a man was/is/will be rich and famous then women will ALWAYS make themselves available to him. You can say she’s ugly or whatever but the truth is she’s not a bad looking chick and she has nice big boobies. Look around at the 60 year old guys in your town and then look at the quality of kitty they are punching. You are just angry that OJ got off scott free 12 years ago and want payback. And some of you hate that white chicks like big black penis.

    Reply
  43. craigj | September 24, 2007 at 12:58 pm

    I disagree with #36 on principle.

    Reply
  44. craigj | September 24, 2007 at 12:58 pm

    I disagree with #36 on principle.

    Reply
  45. Marian | September 24, 2007 at 1:02 pm

    As to what Prody is thinking…remember this is the chick who sold a story a few years back (during one of her MANY break-ups with OJ) to the tabloids about how OJ confessed to her that he committed the murders.

    She knows exactly what’s she’s with.

    Reply
  46. George Best | September 24, 2007 at 1:04 pm

    you know you have failed as parents if your white kid starts dating, marrying, or screwing the blacks no matter how many Heismans he won or records he sold. Do you really think Nicole Browns parents were proud that their kid married OJ simpson? Meanwhile the black parents are proud if their kid scores a white trophy to marry or screw. When my daughter starts dating, she knows her inheritance is out the window if she goes to the other side. Prodys parents must be proud.

    Reply
  47. mrs. ernestine jones | September 24, 2007 at 1:07 pm

    #45

    considering this chick is a drug addict and has had several of her own run ins with the law, she’s hardly a good girl taken in by a wolf. she’s just as trashy and low down as the dog she’s sleeping with. she obviously is an old woman who hasn’t grown out of her teenage obsession with bad, dangerous guys. which is pathetic.

    Reply
  48. IWONKY | September 24, 2007 at 1:11 pm

    ah man, she’s makin’ me sick – I would need a paper bag to catch vomit and another one for her head

    Reply
  49. gARY | September 24, 2007 at 1:13 pm

    His pet name for her is “Chalk Outline”.

    Reply
  50. BunnyButt | September 24, 2007 at 1:15 pm

    #46, you must not know any black people if you think “black parents are proud if their kid scores a white trophy to marry or screw”.

    Reply

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