O.J. Simpson, drunk off his ass, admitted to killing wife

May 11th, 2008 // 69 Comments

Mike Gilbert, a former memorabilia dealer and money-laundering partner of O.J. Simpson, is releasing a tell-all book Monday (above) where he outlines how he helped O.J. beat the murder rap. He also drops the bomb that Orange Juice got hammered and confessed to killing his wife. Damn, and here I thought I was the only one who drunkenly admits to be Nicole Brown’s real killer. Now what will I tell people at cocktail parties? Anyway, the AP reports:

He said Simpson had smoked pot, took a sleeping pill and was drinking beer when he confided at his Brentwood home weeks after his trial what happened the night of June 12, 1994. Simpson said he went to his ex-wife’s condominium, but did not bring a knife with him. Simpson told him Nicole Brown Simpson had one in her hand when she opened the door.
In a soft mumble, Simpson told him: “If she hadn’t opened that door with a knife in her hand … she’d still be alive.”
“Nothing more needed to be said,” Gilbert writes. “O.J. had confessed to me. There’s no doubt in my mind.”

“If she hadn’t opened that door with a knife in her hand … she’d still be alive.” Really? Because I always imagined that if you hadn’t, oh I dunno, FUCKING MURDERED HER, she’d still be alive. But I’m just a guy looking into magnifying glass while stroking his chin. What do I know?


  1. ???

    #48 you’re ignorant, but funny. Alright we’ll give you sarcastic too! There you go, go have a cookie now.

    Let’s define racisim, shall we? It is a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one’s own race is superior and has the right to rule others. A racist: Individual with hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.

    White people (also known as whites or collectively as the white race) have been defined as a racial group of human beings with light pigmentation of their skin or having light-coloured skin, especially of European ancestry.

    So what’s your point? White people are not part of a race? LOL

    You might as well go home now.
    .

  2. Beastman AIDS

    #48 – “it’s impossible to be “racist” against white people”

    I hope your not suggesting that only white people are racist.

  3. Beastman AIDS

    #48 – “it’s impossible to be “racist” against white people”

    I hope your not suggesting that only white people are racist.

  4. ???

    Beastman, #48 is sitting in the corner sucking his thumb right now..

  5. mamadough

    #45, go change your fucking butt plug before you let your pissy bitchness out on the masses. helps with the smell. and with that kinda attitude, no wonder you were a dumpster baby.

  6. Sam Brown

    #48 .. As much as I thought comment #54 was brilliant I feel it was perhaps a little too complex for you to grasp, try this

    In our little world we have:
    Race 1: Asian
    Race 2: Negroid
    Race 3: Caucasian
    If a person from one ‘race’ hates another ‘race’ then it’s racism… no exception. Fuckwit

  7. mommylonglegs

    mamadough, you are cracking me up. I was wondering why the other poster jumped all over your ass when all you did was use his/her name in your original post. Anyways just wanted to back you up…it sucks balls when someone doesn’t read something carefully enough or reads too much into it and gets their assless chaps in a bunch.

  8. Hello morons. The level of ignorance on this thread surpasses what is normally displayed here. While impossible to respond individually, I shall attempt to break it down for you is the easiest and most bite sized terms for you.

    Racism is not simply the dislike or hatred of another race, ethnicity, color, or creed. That is more accurately described as bigotry. Racism is an ideology whose practice encompasses bigotry on all levels, which include social, economic, and political aspects as well. Those that traditionally control the levers of power in these areas can be, but are not always, racists, as legal and social tradition tend to work to against those not in the majority. In the US, the majority is white. A Black person may in fact hate white people, but does not have access to the societal controls to implement that bigotry in a way that evolves to actual racism. That Black person, despite whatever wealth or prestige he may have attained, cannot enact policy to legally enforce “racist” policy on a national scale. Hence while ignorant and bigoted, that Black person cannot be racist by definition. By each of your uninformed rationales, slaves would have been racist for hating their white masters. In that context, your argument completely falls apart.

    There is a sense out there that ignorant people that are not white, who simultaneously refuse to accept responsibility for their own lot in life and live to blame white folks for their less than desirable situation are racist. And many white folks are jumping at the chance to deem them racists. If that helps you sleep better at night, go for it. But merepeatedly calling a dog a cat won’t make the barky fuck meow.

    And a special middle finger, this one I’m waving right here, for the idiot at #59 for incorrectly listing human “races”. Your model dates back to the 19th century and has been consistently debunked. And your list, fuckwit, even inaccurately quotes this inanity. The “races” are listed as Mongoloid, Negroid, and Caucasian, implying the birthplace of modern day Asians is Mongolia, while ignorantly applying the “negro” (Spanish for black object i.e. not human) for African. And no, whites are not from the Caucasus Mountains

    In closing, eat a fat dick, and try, oh please try, to have a semblance of a relevant point before coming at me. OJ still makes white folks mad.

  9. tinkerbell

    We knew all along! Way to confess OJ…

  10. eastcoastgirl

    # 61 has waaay too much time on his hands. Why so bitter? You might \want to see someone about that.

  11. LOL

    #61 is such a racist.

  12. #64 – Now that was funny.

  13. fail

    when you get to the third paragraph and have still haven’t said anything funny, just stop.

    btw, your definition of racism is subjective, flawed, and poorly defined hitherto. enjoy your fail.

  14. Hello morons. The level of ignorance on this thread surpasses what is normally displayed here. While impossible to respond individually, I shall attempt to break it down for you is the easiest and most bite sized terms for you.

    Racism is not simply the dislike or hatred of another race, ethnicity, color, or creed. That is more accurately described as bigotry. Racism is an ideology whose practice encompasses bigotry on all levels, which include social, economic, and political aspects as well. Those that traditionally control the levers of power in these areas can be, but are not always, racists, as legal and social tradition tend to work to against those not in the majority. In the US, the majority is white. A Black person may in fact hate white people, but does not have access to the societal controls to implement that bigotry in a way that evolves to actual racism. That Black person, despite whatever wealth or prestige he may have attained, cannot enact policy to legally enforce “racist” policy on a national scale. Hence while ignorant and bigoted, that Black person cannot be racist by definition. By each of your uninformed rationales, slaves would have been racist for hating their white masters. In that context, your argument completely falls apart.

    There is a sense out there that ignorant people that are not white, who simultaneously refuse to accept responsibility for their own lot in life and live to blame white folks for their less than desirable situation are racist. And many white folks are jumping at the chance to deem them racists. If that helps you sleep better at night, go for it. But merepeatedly calling a dog a cat won’t make the barky fuck meow.

    I am a black woman and I was raped by my boss, a white man, and nobody did anything about it. But then something amazing happened. While I was in the hospital recovering, I learned to talk to animals. And nobody can hear them but me.

  15. LucyLou

    Uh, no. Racism, quite simply, is discrimination towards another race, no matter what that race might be. I’m not white or black or Asian, and I can tell you that everyone can be racist, no matter what their colour is.

    “By each of your uninformed rationales, slaves would have been racist for hating their white masters. ”
    That is bullshit. Slaves would hate their masters because of how the masters treat them, not solely for their skin colour. You bumfuck. Racism is hating someone SOLELY for their race, irrespective of personality. So if I hated OJ Simpson, for example, it’s not because he’s black. It’s because he’s a fucking murderous bastard.

    OJ’s case, in my view, is a famous person getting off a murder rap even though he’s OBVIOUSLY guilty. I didn’t even know what race his ex-wife was when I first learned about the case, so the fact that she’s white didn’t come into it for me. The fact that he’s black is irrelevant. However, he is an asshole who got off and continues to brag about it. The fact that he walks free sickens me. The fact that any guilty person like him is walking free sickens me. I hate that scum like him are free to do what they like when their victims don’t have that opportunity.

  16. Wow, a lot of West Virginians post here.

  17. Angel Elf

    Don’t confuse racism with bigotry. “Say it loud i’m black and I’m proud”, is racist, that is being proud of ones race. Saying, “I hate Whitey” is bigotry, the hatred of an entire ethnic group. There are only two races, the Human Race and the Rat Race.

  18. Mr.Sane

    If you define “racism” as institutionalized oppression, and “bigotry” as individual discrimnatory acts, then it would be safe to say “Black racisim” is limited, but both Black and white “bigotry” are alive and well.

  19. mattmgs

    I hope he rots in a stinky little jail cell for the rest of his life.

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