Ohgodjesusmakeitstop.

May 3rd, 2010 // 137 Comments

As part of MTV’s initiative to make me perpetually bleed from the cornea, Snooki was once again wedged into a swimsuit for a day of filming Jersey Shore in Miami. I personally love the part where Pauly D pretends she’s physically attractive enough to dry hump because you know they whipped out the contract on that one. “Line 24b: ‘MTV reserves the right to place your penis in, near or around hazardous material because we’re paying you a little shits an unholy amount of money thanks to losing a drunken bet with Satan. I want to die.’” (Actual clause.)

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Que

    Que bowling ball.

  2. HackSaw

    I’d hit it.

  3. Rex Kramer-Danger Seeker

    She outgrew her juggies. I wouldn’t want to anywhere near when that swimsuit bursts.

  4. GiRL

    SLOPPY SLOPPY SLOPPY BITCH!

  5. Where you can go along with world trends on http://www.bagshoponline.com .There are so many fashion items you need and all the big brand you love. Like: Louis Vuitton Chanel Gucci Burberry Chloe Hermes Prada Fendi etc.

  6. grobpilot

    Just like a sausage, I bet you could squeeze one end and a whole pile of shit will ooze out the other end.

  7. wtf

    i don’t get it. I work so hard to make a living… and these people just wander around making more money than I’ll ever make in my life.

    w.t.f.

  8. Sport

    wow – she makes the large Kardashian look attractive.

  9. enough already

    Has this site turned into the Jersey Shore show. Between the Jersey trash and the Gosselins, I hardly recognize this site anymore.

  10. Capt Paul

    She would go broke as a hooker

  11. Nick Manning

    I don’t care what anyone says. I would bang Snookie all night and then brag about it to everyone!

  12. OTP

    Good God that is hideous!

  13. madam adams

    omfng i thought that was raven symone! lolololol

  14. Where you can go along with world trends on http://www.bagshoponline.com .There are so many fashion items you need and all the big brand you love. Like: Louis Vuitton Chanel Gucci Burberry Chloe Hermes Prada Fendi etc.

  15. Where you can go along with world trends on http://www.bagshoponline.com .There are so many fashion items you need and all the big brand you love. Like: Louis Vuitton Chanel Gucci Burberry Chloe Hermes Prada Fendi etc.

  16. WhatEverHelpsYouSleepAtNightBtch

    She has the body of an elderly person. She’s just so freaking gross.

  17. WhatEverHelpsYouSleepAtNightBtch

    I threw up in my mouth a little.

  18. Markbs

    @Hacksaw – I’d hit it too… with a crow bar, multiple times, until it stopped making that annoying noise and it was reduced to a greasy little shit stain on the beach. Like clubbing a useless, unnaturally orange, retarded, soulless little baby seal.

  19. Sarita

    I don’t understand why you all say that. She likes herself and she’s confortable with the way she is. That’s wonderful.

  20. This little piggy

    Oink.

  21. Tiger Woods

    I’d rather bang Khloe Kardashian . Now that’s bad ..
    A Fuckin Pig in Drag …

  22. immune

    ummmm, you realize you can make it stop, right superfish? stop posting about these tards, please!!!

  23. stanlymorris

    Stop posting about this fat ho…. and her massive thighs rubbing together makes it worse.

  24. Quinn

    19… she likes herself? this is the most blatant display of self hatred I’ve ever seen. Humiliating herself on a show. Wearing a bathing suit with that body, so people can make fun of the way she looks. All for cash.
    That’s like saying a hooker likes herself so much she’s comfortable having sex with strangers. to ‘spread her joy with others’??

  25. Obama2010

    Wow, I honestly thought that was a black chick till I read the post. Is that was these type of Jersey people do, strive to be black?

  26. misterfister

    She definitely has a gunt

  27. e

    the only way to stop this is to not write about it sw writer.

  28. Jenn

    The writer obviously has a huge hard-on for these kids. He’s the guy who obsesses over them but thinks it’s okay because he writes really really poor quality jokes about them.

    And then he claims to never watch the show, and hates that these kids are being promoted so much. You delusional jerkoff. You promote the fuck out of these kids. Loser.

  29. Jimmy

    The black plastic bags I use for tossing garbage make trash look far more appealing than wrapping this creature in a garbage bag!

  30. Deacon Jones

    She looks like a hairball that fucked a jar of mayonaise

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  32. YOUR MOM

    HOLY SHIT, GET OFF OF JERSEY SHORES DICK ALREADY!!! YOU SUCK, HARD!!!!

  33. Gar

    I’d hit that … twice

  34. Gar

    I’d hit that … twice

  35. Nicole

    She is not fat.. just a little chunky.. She is short and chunky.. Normal looking. She isn’t very pretty.. but that’s just genetics. Atleast she is not hanging out completely. She is wearing a cover over her bathing suit.

  36. Nicole

    She is not fat.. just a little chunky.. She is short and chunky.. Normal looking. She isn’t very pretty.. but that’s just genetics. Atleast she is not hanging out completely. She is wearing a cover over her bathing suit.

  37. Great White Pygmy

    I am so proud of you Superficial Writer. Not one mention of Mr. Davis or the Ewoks. And I was thinking, If you are to compare “her” with one of his characters wouldn’t the Leprechaun be a more suitable match?

  38. chupacabra

    she’s like the love child from a brown retarded yoda and Danny DeVito.

  39. Gary

    Shut the fuck up, @19/Sarita — this pig is revolting and needs to be shamed like fat, disgusting Jersey barfly she’s destined to become.

    Oh, and Jersey SUCKS.

  40. Matrim

    Yeah, I hate to agree with reactionary trolls, but this is getting a bit ridiculous. I’m fairly sure you’re getting advertising revenue or something from MTV, because that’s the only thing I can think of that would make a site that purports to believe these people are completely worthless yet 65% of your entries are about JS.

    Honestly, if you really want these people to go away, quit giving them attention. The reason that they are popular is because that what you and all the other gossip sites post about. If you stop, they will.

  41. the fish can make it stop whenever he wants to

    Snooki’s cia code name: Fupa McGunty.

  42. Bow-Wow-Woof

    since when does Miami allow dogs on the beach?

  43. Thomas

    DO NOT WANT!

  44. Arbiter of good taste

    Troll Patrol

  45. zeb

    I thought that maybe one of the Williams sisters had lost weight.

  46. Yes, I too thought it was a black woman wearing a weave. I know someone who adopted 2 kids from where Snooks was adopted from (probably same agency). One kid is a dream & the other a nightmare who comes from a biological mom who sold all of her kids to make a buck. The bad kid screams at her parents “I want to go back to my real mom”. Really? “Cause she’ll have you whoring and weaving baskets in that hut of hers”, you want to retort.

  47. AngelOn&Offline

    Jersey, the Armpit of America. Another example of why that whole state needs mass sterilization!

  48. havoc

    That just shows what MTV has become…..

    .

  49. Capt Paul

    Did the Japaneese try and harpoon that whale?

  50. Well she’s looking quite frumpy!

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