Oh, STFU, Kim Kardashian, You Edited Those Pics

January 9th, 2014 // 27 Comments

Despite the fact Kim Kardashian‘s ass selfie was clearly Photoshopped, Jezebel took the time to point out how ridiculously obvious it was which is where this shit should’ve ended. Except Kim’s rep went running to E! News, of course, to deny rumors the pics were shopped. Which means one of two things. A. Kim Kardashian’s ass is so big it bends reality which, jokes asides, is probably something we should get serious about. Or B. Kim knows that by issuing a denial, it will give this story legs because lazy bloggers will latch onto it for easy cli- GODDAMMIT! Every time. *flips over desk*

Photos: Instagram

superficial

  1. Balls Mcgee

    My comment on Monday:

    “Now featuring wavy tiled floors and doors! Their black hole-like asses must be distorting time and space.”

  2. The angle in her thigh is the best hahahahaha she’s bad at this. I thought the other front shot was more ridiculous. We’re supposed to believe she has a tiny little barbie waist and like a 20″ differential between her waist and hips? ok.

  3. Who’s the black chick with the equally large, fake ass and prison tats?

    • cmonreally

      Black Chyna – some sort of rapper/model (don’t quote me on the rapper part). More famously known as Amanda Bynes’ style inspiration when she was having trouble earlier last year and got cheek piercings and started wearing more urban styles.

  4. cc

    Just goes to show her ass really is a black hole. It’s gravity can even bend light.

  5. malaka

    i guess we really are little more than a nation of haters…
    i mean, fake celebrity after fake celebrity is managing to make entire “careers” simply out of the fact that everyone thinks that they are awful.

    • JC

      I think the problem here is not the haters–they wouldn’t exist with just haters. The tragedy is that they have lots of honest-to-goodness fans. Go to any of the less-critical blogs, and you’ll see that all the Kardashian swine get comments like, “OMG she’s soo bootiful I luv them 4eva!” Hell, even Tila Tequila’s nonsensical, anti-Semitic writings get a lot of, “Ignore the h8ers grrl! Your the bestest!”

      Our planet needs to fall directly into the sun asap, is what I’m trying to say.

      • rican

        Sadly the American Dream has come to include the ability of totally useless people being able to capitalize on the stupidity of greater moron followers.

  6. Hopefully the crime scene photos of the charred and twisted bodies from the fire dying will come out unedited.

  7. Soundhall

    I don’t think she is smart enough to photoshop anything. What nobody notices is that the picture is a reflection in a mirror. If the mirror isn’t perfectly flat it distorts the image. I can’t believe that this made it to the media when any small child who ever stood in front of a fun house mirror can clearly see what is going on here. This is why this country scores so low in science and math. You are all idiots.

    • nice try, kim’s mom.
      and make sure kim only takes selfies in mirrors that only warp to make her belly look slim.

    • rican

      Look Soundhall, just because Kim is an assclown bitch, it does not mean she has funhouse mirrors in her bathroom. Don’t include the rest of the U.S. to justify YOUR low math and science scores.

    • Juano

      Soundhall, I applaud your reasoning. the only flaw I see is that the only parts of the image “warped” by the mirror seem to be curiously aligned with her chest, stomach and upper thighs; one would have thought there would also be warping elsewhere in the image, but there isn’t.

      So, I conclude that your reasoning is good, but doesn’t sufficiently explain the phenomena occuring in this image.

      Bottom line, she tucked it in to make her stomach smaller and chest larger.

  8. Swine Bovine K.

    I thought Kim’s pig cunt was disgusting, but that triple-loaded diaper on the right makes Kim’s ass look natural – which is clearly why she’s posing next to her in the first place.

  9. That’s no moon!!!!

  10. Schwizzle

    I don’t understand how someone can be so vain, so publicly vain and not even know it. I mean sure, her talent is having a big ass, but you don’t see scholars posting pics of their recently published articles, or dentists insta-ing their latest veneers job, or fat ass couch potatoes posting finished boxes of Ferreros…wait.

  11. cmonreally

    “The door is wavy, you stupid cow.” That made my life a little bit better today.

    Honestly though, there’s so much waving and distortion going on in that picture it’s like looking at optical illusions that make you sick if you stare for too long.

  12. Robb7

    So this is what dumb, middle-aged woman with no discernible talent or responsibility (like a newborn) do in their spare time — perfect!

  13. EDWARD ELIZABETH HITLER

    DIE IN A FUCKING PLANE CRASH YOU STUPID VAPID CUNT. And take your egotistical CUNT of a husband with you.

  14. Kim Kardashian Butt Selfie Photoshopped Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus Christ. I hate her stupidity.

  15. the more we comment the more we justify her empty, soulless, Satan loving life. now excuse me while I watch all the episodes of Keeping up with the K’s and enter a nirvana like vegetative state.

  16. bobhardcore

    Just think about how much of her shit gets stuck sliding on her ass skin before it hits the water. Bet she only uses 1 square of tissue…

  17. Ghostofanimalhaunches

    Let’s see she gained 89 lbs during her pregnancy, went to the Met Ball as an upholstered sofa, and in a couple of months in 4 sizes smaller that pre pregnancy. Photoshop isn’t the only trick here folks, she’s had about 6 surgeries not counting her new face/nose either. In her spare time after fake trips to the gym, she’s removing all that Armenian hair growing on the baby in horrific painful ways. Can’t have a kid with a unibrow. I wonder when the kid will begin having plastic surgery, none of them look like they used to even a few years ago. It will happen, that kid will be put to the knife.

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