Oh, Shut Up, Hilary Duff

Photo Boy / April 27, 2012

Posted by Photo Boy

Because I know how special it is to sit at work, a job that you possibly have just to shell out hundreds of dollars a month to have your kid in daycare, I thought you’d be as riveted as I was by the harrowing tale of Hilary Duff’s interrupted two weeks of sleep before her baby turned into some sort of infinitely happy mythical creature that never cries and sleeps on a convenient schedule already. As soon as you’re done spitting and punching holes in drywall, People has the rest of the story:

“The first week I was like, ‘I’m doing this, I’m good. I can not sleep, I can do this.’ I don’t know where you get that energy from,” Duff, 24, tells PEOPLE. “Then it hits you — the fatigue.”… But two weeks later the late-night feedings turned a corner and Luca has been nothing short of a star sleeper, the proud mama raves.

See, everybody out there whose kid just pissed through a diaper and entirely new outfit that you just changed minutes ago, parenting’s a breeze right? There’s nothing quite like hearing a celebrity talk about how their fantastically awesome life has been nothing but improved by a new baby. She even goes on to say that the kid laughs when he has gas. FUCKING LAUGHS! The only possible explanation — Other than this is entirely horseshit — that I can come up with is that she passed onto this child whatever benevolent gene causes you to instinctively dole out bj’s upon proposal of marriage and yes, we’re back to that. NEVER FORGET!

Photo: INFdaily