Oh, Boy, It’s Kim Kardashian’s Single

March 2nd, 2011 // 143 Comments

Kim Kardashian premiered her single “Jam” on KIIS FM with Ryan Seacrest this morning, and it’s pretty much everything you’d imagine it to be: An auto-tuned, emotionless pile of vapid unoriginality that somehow manages to capture how annoying this whole family is and transform it into sound. Seriously, she doesn’t even sing. She just says words in a monotone voice. I’ve heard more excitement from Khloe’s diet pill voiceovers and she was trapped in a room with no access to steak for an hour. Or legally dead if we’re arguing semantics.

Photos: Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Charlie Manson's alter ego

    I’d like to see another video of the rapp guy pissing on her

  2. Wow. That was horrible.

  3. What a dumbass

    This autotuned bullshit SUCKS. Not only can’t this whore act, but she can’t sing either; she’s a total NO TALENT. She should stick to catching cum with her mouth or getting pissed on; that’s about all this whore is good for…

  4. And I want to hear it LIVE with no background noise, no computer-generated and computer-altered music and lyrics.

    It’s as phony as her face and her breasts.

  5. true dat

    maybe this piece of crap will make people who like shit music realize that artists like keisha and rhianna are pieces of crap that have zero talent and shud have their throat ripped out so they cant try to sing anymore. This is such crap!!

  6. Bilvis

    I tried to listen to it, then I had to take a big Kardashian.

  7. Shart

    Who is her demographic? Black men?

  8. ick-abod

    “play in my jam”

    um, no. Your jam has the clap.

  9. Cher X

    Gawd. My ears!

  10. *SMH*

    I was hoping to be able to write “Lindsay Lohan – Fail” again today, but after hearing KK’s krap Lindsay has a set of golden pipes They’re tobacco hoarse golden pipes mind you, but a hell of alot better than this human urinal’s.

  11. mean tina

    THOSE HORRID EYELASHES. EVEN MORE HORRID LACK OF SELF-AWARENESS. KIM SUX AND IS A LOSER.

  12. See Alice

    Is her ass available to block out the sun ?

  13. Kim Kardashian Jam Single
    bangbang
    Commented on this photo:

    GORGEOUS
    She really knows how to work it

  14. Roxi

    sounds exactly like her ex bff Paris Hilton, yawn…….

  15. molly

    AHM GOINA WORK LIKE AHM PAYIN MAH BILLS

    BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLS

  16. knotty

    Paris Hilton’s song was way better.

  17. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    “Turn me out, Turn me out, Turn me out”

    Didn’t her mother already do this – turn her out, and made her a piss loving whore? I think ‘keep playing my jam’ is a reference to her used up twat?

    This is worse than Heidi Montag – never thought I’d say that.

  18. wtf bruh

    Shes dabbled in every other aspect of entertainment. This was inevitable. Once again she proves that looking good and banging famous athletes will take you far. Talent not required.

  19. linds

    Well judging from the quality of the lyrics, at least she wrote her own music ….. right? Well, whoever did should probably shoot themselves.

  20. fatguyinalittleshirt

    8 seconds… then I turned it off. it’s crap.

  21. timmy the dying boy

    She has attained the impossible — making Heidi sound good.

  22. argleblargle

    I listened to Kim’s new single and all I got was this lousy coma.

  23. you can’t process this with a normal brain. She is not winning.

  24. Kim Kardashian Jam Single
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Another dreadful ill-fitting outfit, and the inevitable furry eyes.
    Thanks for serving up her new single; I will decline the invitation to listen. I would be angry about never being able to get back those 5 minutes.

  25. fartknocker

    Talentless pile o shit

  26. Jen

    yep just further proof that dumb ass will do anything for money…..good god words can’t even describe how ridiculously horrible that “song” was.

  27. erin

    my ears are furious with you, kim kardashian.
    this is NOT my jam.

  28. Miss Thalia Amour

    I want that 5 mins of my life back…

  29. wily

    That does it. I’m becoming a Scientologist.

  30. ghost

    I didn’t listen to the song. I went way out on a limb and just assumed it would be terrible.

  31. kire

    “we played it in Tao in Vegas and the whole crowd, without even knowing the words before, was singing along at the end” … that’s ’cause you only used about 25 different words for the entire song, Kim.

  32. lils

    The voice saying “On Air with Ryan Seacrest” sounds way better.

    Jesus… I thought all of you were just being haters… but this is TOO MUCH. Kill her, please. Kill her with fire.

  33. Wotwot

    She makes Paris Hilton sound like Jesus at The Met.

  34. mel

    that stunk worse than one of her BMs

  35. I Want The Last 5 Minutes of My Life Back

    She should really go back to not opening her mouth for anything but a personally leaked sex tape.

  36. MYbee

    Hearing Kim k sing was as painful as giving birth! Hahahahah sooooo horrible. This just proves that money can’t buy talent. And that being famous for nothing doesn’t mean ur talented. Kim, you did make a fool out of yourself lol!

  37. Pete

    Oh come on, it’s not like she just pulled a song out of her ass…wait, could she do that?

  38. the captain

    let’s be happy for the deaf mutes & the blind ones.

  39. the captain

    let’s be glad for the deaf mutes.

  40. the captain

    she couldnn’t sing at kindergarten yet…….

  41. Anya

    now this ugly hooker is a singer? What an ugly bitch, nice tarantula lashes bitch and that nose looks like it’s going the Michael Jackson route along with the rest of her face. Hairy whore resembles her mother with every new surgery she gets. BTW kimbo that bottom lip looks like it belongs on a camel, why the fuck does it hang so low???????

  42. Makebelieve

    Daaamn, this makes Paris Hilton’s shit sound fantastic.

  43. First

    Oh my ass sandwich. Sounds like she’s singing 8th grade lyrics in her sleep.

  44. Oz Matters

    I think Kim was underestimating things; this is outside everyones comfort zone.

  45. Dan

    What’s worse: your head stuffed in a garbage disposal or being forced to “Jam” in its entirety?

  46. Erika

    I couldn’t even finish this song it is so terrible! Who else thought it sounded like Justin Beiber?

  47. eophus

    Crack that whip MAMA Kardashian!!!

  48. Jface

    So she’s going to work to pay her bills. . .did she just admit that Kris pimps her daughters out to support her church-cult?

  49. ervol

    OMG!!! That couldn’t suck worse!!!!!
    i dont know wich one is worst kim or paris!..lol..

  50. Angie

    She should stick to whatever the hell it is she was doing before. which was shutting the fuc up in public and smiling for cameras.

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