To absolutely zero surprise to no one, Nike accepts Tiger Woods’ apology. Via TMZ:
“Tiger has apologized and made his position clear. Nike fully supports him and his family. We look forward to him returning to golf.”
Wait a minute. Can Nike even accept an apology they made a sweatshop worker write under the watchful eye of their lawyers?
NIKE: So, listen, Trang. You get our boy Tiger making millions for hitting a ball with a stick again, and this entire box of Uncle Ben’s is yours.
TRANG: Will there also be water to boil it?
NIKE: TASE HIM! He’s gone mad!