Because her kids have already been on Teen Mom so there’s really no discernible future for them anyway, here’s Leah Messer (Who fortunately for all parties involved, if not the human gene pool in general, had a miscarriage by the way.) carting her twin daughters into the moralless crunking world of child beauty pageants yesterday. Although in her defense, she did feed them a cold, nutritious breakfast of Monster energy drink like proud a West Virginian. GO COOTERS!
On that note, I want to offer a sincere apology to Leah’s ex Corey Simms who back in April was made to look like he cheated on her before or after robbing their daughter’s medical fund to buy a truck thus causing their divorce. When in reality, Leah banged another a dude a week before their wedding and eventually came clean months later which was the real cause. So kudos to Corey for sitting on that information until the season aired and not even once stopping to think he should probably get a paternity test. You truly earned that huntin’ bow.