Great news, everybody, Octomom has tumors on her uterus! Alright! According to Radar Online, she’ll be undergoing surgery that will leave her pretty much unable to conceive again. — We should throw a party:
Octo-Mom Nadya Suleman will check into the hospital this weekend to have benign fibroid tumors removed from her uterus — a procedure that will make further pregnancies virtually impossible, RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned.
Suleman will leave her eight infants and six older children in the care of her nannies, as the procedure and recovery is expected to take up to seven days.
I probably shouldn’t get my hopes up because there’s always the risk of this happening:
DOCTOR: Well, Octomom, we were about to remove part of your uterus except, goddammit, we found 20,000 babies implanted inside. Now, I know this will be a difficult choi-
OCTOMOM: Whee! There’s always room for more! Tee-hee.
DOCTOR: …. Nurse, fetch me my gun.
OCTOMOM: Is it to keep the paparazzi away ’cause I’m just like Angelina?
DOCTOR: Something like that.
Thanks to Kasia who uses her uterus for good, not for Jimmy Choo’s.
RichPort's Ghost | May 8, 2009 at 10:52 am
On an unrelated note, I have two tumors in my bloomers.
pappy smeary | May 8, 2009 at 10:56 am
yucky, she smells like the feet, she looks like she would taste fishy/salty, sounds like a bitchy bird, and frankly she looks like if i touched her she would be sticky…. shes pretty much offensive to all five senses
Deacon Jones | May 8, 2009 at 10:59 am
DSLs?
jynx | May 8, 2009 at 10:59 am
She should have her ovaries spayed — like a dog.
Michael Jackson | May 8, 2009 at 11:01 am
Bitch lookin like me
ROUGH-ism | May 8, 2009 at 11:02 am
Before the terrible news, Gloria Allred was observed making several trips to a Haitian Voodoo Priest! not sure if the two are purely coincidental…
sim | May 8, 2009 at 11:09 am
is she breast feeding?
Jason | May 8, 2009 at 11:23 am
nasty ass hoe!!
Hamburgler007 | May 8, 2009 at 11:36 am
I hate to be a buzz kill, and my sense of humor is pretty fucked up, but describing someone having a potentially serious medical problem as great news is a little uncouth.
FYI | May 8, 2009 at 11:36 am
Although the media would like this news to be exciting—they totally are wrong.
Fibroid tumors DO NOT make conception impossible….that is a load of BS. They are easily removed and most people go on to pretty much have the same old healthy baby maker they previously had…..
So, Octomom can totally pop out another 8 if she wishes once she’s healed from surgery!
Me | May 8, 2009 at 11:43 am
actually, “FYI” #10 – depending on the fibroid and how big they are, DOES make conception impossible… research before you speak… :P
FYI | May 8, 2009 at 11:47 am
@11–I have had the surgery myself and have a child–So research is pretty much done.
Yes you are right that if they are massive they cause problems, but more often than not they don’t. Considering she had someone poking around in the old plumbing in the past year, chances are these are not honkin’ boulders in there…..otherwise they would have removed them while they were in there.
AJ | May 8, 2009 at 11:49 am
I feel sorry for the children because they will suffer from neglect which is a form of child abuse. One kid bites and another kid bangs his head on the wall. Some of the kids have special needs too. She got rid of her free help because they were reporting that the only time she held the babies were when the cameras were on. She also would leave the kids for hours with the free nurses while she shopped and got her nails done.
Huckleberry Hashimoto | May 8, 2009 at 11:52 am
Watch for them on eBay soon. The tumors, not the babies, though that wouldn’t be such a bad idea.
Jenn | May 8, 2009 at 12:02 pm
@9 : I love the word uncouth!!!!!! that is all.
mikeock | May 8, 2009 at 12:07 pm
There’s just something about this woman’s face that makes me want to smack her across the room with a baseball bat.
Objection sustained | May 8, 2009 at 12:37 pm
@16
It’s the smugness, I think. The satisfaction that comes from receiving all kinds of media attention for doing nothing. She is a symbol of how sick our society has become. The only cure for this woman is Keifer Sutherland mixed with bourbon.
KLOON!
Richard McBeef | May 8, 2009 at 12:46 pm
@12 – That baby isn’t yours, your husband was fucking the milk lady and it’s really her baby.
Dirk the Impailer | May 8, 2009 at 12:55 pm
I don’t think she should be reproducing any more either.
But saying it’s “good news” that anyone has tumors just makes you the king of sick fucks!!!!!!!! That is just evi!!!!!!!!
Matt | May 8, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Man I hate this dumb bitch. She’s a fucking Angelina Jolie wanna-be who thinks she’s the shit for having cameras follow her around be have have tard sites like “radar” write and follow her every move.
She probably thinks she’s a fucking celebrity now. Fuck her and her dumb fuckin kids.
Mike Walker | May 8, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Thank you, cancer. Thank you.
Eva | May 8, 2009 at 1:13 pm
I’m so ticked off that she has this manicure with blue tips, when her fingers and nails should be worn if anything!
Max Planck | May 8, 2009 at 1:14 pm
My tax dollars at work.
MissyWu | May 8, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Her lips look so stupid. I can’t stand attention mongers. She needs to get a life instead of seeking attention all over the place.
MountainGoat | May 8, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Barf. Her foot looks like testicular elephantitis.
Sardonic | May 8, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Sew her up and throw away the key.
justifiable | May 8, 2009 at 2:00 pm
#10/12 Depends on how many fibroids she has – hell, most women her age have them, but this delusional bitch does everything to excess. If they have to remove a bunch of them from the uterine wall (or inside the lining), her uterus could end up being resected worse than a football. She could still get pregnant, whether she could carry to term without it rupturing is the problem.
Unless a myoma on a stalk popped out, instead of a baby, when they were doing her last c-section, your assumption they’d take care of them right then and there isn’t correct. And Kaiser Permanente missing the opportunity to do another whole separate surgery later and bill MediCal for it? No fuckin’ way.
I just wish they’d remove that unsightly tumor on top of her neck.
anyway | May 8, 2009 at 2:04 pm
#21 BENIGN is a word you’re not too familar with, is it?
jezebel | May 8, 2009 at 2:20 pm
More surgery. Fibroid removal, yes. Probably a tummy tuck, as well. Hope taxpayers don’t have to pay.
Michelle Nofsinger | May 8, 2009 at 3:43 pm
I was wondering, what is wrong w/ the little ones finger in this picture (ring finger) It looks infected. Maybe it is just me! She really needs to re-think this situation……………..She is in over her head!
Sweet Sally | May 8, 2009 at 4:15 pm
HAHA! The Superfish is so funny! Keep it up sexy!
Michelle Nofsinger | May 8, 2009 at 4:45 pm
……..And why is she wearing designer sunglasses, and her toddler is wearing dirty old socks??????????????????
shellibelli | May 8, 2009 at 4:46 pm
50 bucks she is getting a tummy tuck instead and just throws this story out for sympathy rather then let everyone know what their tax dollars are going for.
Rossco | May 8, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Does this count as proof that there is a God? Might be the closest we get, unless, of course, Paris Hilton becomes the next elephant (wo)man.
Michelle Nofsinger | May 8, 2009 at 4:55 pm
I think the surgery is just a break to get away from the kids she doesn’t want!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She acts like she does……………..This is where the poperazzi need to be sneeky………..what goes on behind closed doors!!!!!!!!!!!?
davina | May 8, 2009 at 5:02 pm
LIAR. Its a tummy tuck. I hate this fucking bitch…
davina | May 8, 2009 at 5:02 pm
LIAR. Its a tummy tuck. I hate this fucking bitch…
Joe Blow | May 8, 2009 at 5:26 pm
#16, you’re too late… someone already has… with a pick ax. (Shudder)
She makes my penis sad.
dirk | May 8, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Bet that sweaty canyon smells like hot garbage.
farty mcshitface | May 8, 2009 at 5:37 pm
if only this could have happend 14 kids ago.
B.Weber | May 8, 2009 at 6:09 pm
I don’t understand why people put her down,these are her children not ours.Leave her be to raise her babies.She is no different the John & Kate plus 8,or any other family out the that has alot of children.
Mike Walker | May 8, 2009 at 7:03 pm
#28 Can I tell you my favorite Matt Dillon story?
Unwigged | May 8, 2009 at 9:30 pm
She’s smart as a whip. With one octo-birth, she’s elevated herself from a run of the mill unmarried, starving 4-kid trailer trash loser to the big leagues where you and I now support her along with celeb/reality dollars. She ought to pop out 10 more while she can. Wouldn’t you if you knew the money machine was not getting unplugged?
gwenda | May 8, 2009 at 11:06 pm
yeah right She’s probably actually going in for more plastic surgery using the money she was given to raise her kids
gerard vandenberg | May 9, 2009 at 1:12 am
a mother with sunglasses on means she cares just for one: HERSELF, folks!!
Bo | May 9, 2009 at 1:27 am
for the love of humanity, someone rip her uterus out as an extra measure. we have enough retards reproducing.
Gary B | May 9, 2009 at 3:04 am
Octoskank cannot have any more kids out of that clowncar VAG of her’s, this proves that God exists after all.
mikabass | May 9, 2009 at 4:42 am
i think the doctor should take her uterus out and put a beach ball in there and watch the madness last for the next six years after they find out it was a beach ball the whole time.
Narcissist | May 9, 2009 at 5:13 am
Octobeast (TM) looks like a smelly rubber mutant.
@39 – LOL (TM)
Bob | May 9, 2009 at 9:59 am
First she looked like Angelina, now she looks like Cher