Octomom’s baby train derailed

May 8th, 2009 // 60 Comments

Great news, everybody, Octomom has tumors on her uterus! Alright! According to Radar Online, she’ll be undergoing surgery that will leave her pretty much unable to conceive again. — We should throw a party:

Octo-Mom Nadya Suleman will check into the hospital this weekend to have benign fibroid tumors removed from her uterus — a procedure that will make further pregnancies virtually impossible, RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned.
Suleman will leave her eight infants and six older children in the care of her nannies, as the procedure and recovery is expected to take up to seven days.

I probably shouldn’t get my hopes up because there’s always the risk of this happening:

DOCTOR: Well, Octomom, we were about to remove part of your uterus except, goddammit, we found 20,000 babies implanted inside. Now, I know this will be a difficult choi-
OCTOMOM: Whee! There’s always room for more! Tee-hee.
DOCTOR: …. Nurse, fetch me my gun.
OCTOMOM: Is it to keep the paparazzi away ’cause I’m just like Angelina?
DOCTOR: Something like that.

Thanks to Kasia who uses her uterus for good, not for Jimmy Choo’s.

superficial

  1. On an unrelated note, I have two tumors in my bloomers.

  2. pappy smeary

    yucky, she smells like the feet, she looks like she would taste fishy/salty, sounds like a bitchy bird, and frankly she looks like if i touched her she would be sticky…. shes pretty much offensive to all five senses

  3. Deacon Jones

    DSLs?

  4. jynx

    She should have her ovaries spayed — like a dog.

  5. Michael Jackson

    Bitch lookin like me

  6. Before the terrible news, Gloria Allred was observed making several trips to a Haitian Voodoo Priest! not sure if the two are purely coincidental…

  7. sim

    is she breast feeding?

  8. Jason

    nasty ass hoe!!

  9. Hamburgler007

    I hate to be a buzz kill, and my sense of humor is pretty fucked up, but describing someone having a potentially serious medical problem as great news is a little uncouth.

  10. FYI

    Although the media would like this news to be exciting—they totally are wrong.

    Fibroid tumors DO NOT make conception impossible….that is a load of BS. They are easily removed and most people go on to pretty much have the same old healthy baby maker they previously had…..

    So, Octomom can totally pop out another 8 if she wishes once she’s healed from surgery!

  11. Me

    actually, “FYI” #10 – depending on the fibroid and how big they are, DOES make conception impossible… research before you speak… :P

  12. FYI

    @11–I have had the surgery myself and have a child–So research is pretty much done.
    Yes you are right that if they are massive they cause problems, but more often than not they don’t. Considering she had someone poking around in the old plumbing in the past year, chances are these are not honkin’ boulders in there…..otherwise they would have removed them while they were in there.

  13. AJ

    I feel sorry for the children because they will suffer from neglect which is a form of child abuse. One kid bites and another kid bangs his head on the wall. Some of the kids have special needs too. She got rid of her free help because they were reporting that the only time she held the babies were when the cameras were on. She also would leave the kids for hours with the free nurses while she shopped and got her nails done.

  14. Huckleberry Hashimoto

    Watch for them on eBay soon. The tumors, not the babies, though that wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

  15. Jenn

    @9 : I love the word uncouth!!!!!! that is all.

  16. mikeock

    There’s just something about this woman’s face that makes me want to smack her across the room with a baseball bat.

  17. @16

    It’s the smugness, I think. The satisfaction that comes from receiving all kinds of media attention for doing nothing. She is a symbol of how sick our society has become. The only cure for this woman is Keifer Sutherland mixed with bourbon.
    KLOON!

  18. Richard McBeef

    @12 – That baby isn’t yours, your husband was fucking the milk lady and it’s really her baby.

  19. Dirk the Impailer

    I don’t think she should be reproducing any more either.

    But saying it’s “good news” that anyone has tumors just makes you the king of sick fucks!!!!!!!! That is just evi!!!!!!!!

  20. Matt

    Man I hate this dumb bitch. She’s a fucking Angelina Jolie wanna-be who thinks she’s the shit for having cameras follow her around be have have tard sites like “radar” write and follow her every move.

    She probably thinks she’s a fucking celebrity now. Fuck her and her dumb fuckin kids.

  21. Thank you, cancer. Thank you.

  22. Eva

    I’m so ticked off that she has this manicure with blue tips, when her fingers and nails should be worn if anything!

  23. Max Planck

    My tax dollars at work.

  24. MissyWu

    Her lips look so stupid. I can’t stand attention mongers. She needs to get a life instead of seeking attention all over the place.

  25. MountainGoat

    Barf. Her foot looks like testicular elephantitis.

  26. Sardonic

    Sew her up and throw away the key.

  27. justifiable

    #10/12 Depends on how many fibroids she has – hell, most women her age have them, but this delusional bitch does everything to excess. If they have to remove a bunch of them from the uterine wall (or inside the lining), her uterus could end up being resected worse than a football. She could still get pregnant, whether she could carry to term without it rupturing is the problem.

    Unless a myoma on a stalk popped out, instead of a baby, when they were doing her last c-section, your assumption they’d take care of them right then and there isn’t correct. And Kaiser Permanente missing the opportunity to do another whole separate surgery later and bill MediCal for it? No fuckin’ way.

    I just wish they’d remove that unsightly tumor on top of her neck.

  28. anyway

    #21 BENIGN is a word you’re not too familar with, is it?

  29. More surgery. Fibroid removal, yes. Probably a tummy tuck, as well. Hope taxpayers don’t have to pay.

  30. Michelle Nofsinger

    I was wondering, what is wrong w/ the little ones finger in this picture (ring finger) It looks infected. Maybe it is just me! She really needs to re-think this situation……………..She is in over her head!

  31. Sweet Sally

    HAHA! The Superfish is so funny! Keep it up sexy!

  32. Michelle Nofsinger

    ……..And why is she wearing designer sunglasses, and her toddler is wearing dirty old socks??????????????????

  33. shellibelli

    50 bucks she is getting a tummy tuck instead and just throws this story out for sympathy rather then let everyone know what their tax dollars are going for.

  34. Rossco

    Does this count as proof that there is a God? Might be the closest we get, unless, of course, Paris Hilton becomes the next elephant (wo)man.

  35. Michelle Nofsinger

    I think the surgery is just a break to get away from the kids she doesn’t want!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She acts like she does……………..This is where the poperazzi need to be sneeky………..what goes on behind closed doors!!!!!!!!!!!?

  36. davina

    LIAR. Its a tummy tuck. I hate this fucking bitch…

  37. davina

    LIAR. Its a tummy tuck. I hate this fucking bitch…

  38. Joe Blow

    #16, you’re too late… someone already has… with a pick ax. (Shudder)

    She makes my penis sad.

  39. dirk

    Bet that sweaty canyon smells like hot garbage.

  40. farty mcshitface

    if only this could have happend 14 kids ago.

  41. B.Weber

    I don’t understand why people put her down,these are her children not ours.Leave her be to raise her babies.She is no different the John & Kate plus 8,or any other family out the that has alot of children.

  42. #28 Can I tell you my favorite Matt Dillon story?

  43. Unwigged

    She’s smart as a whip. With one octo-birth, she’s elevated herself from a run of the mill unmarried, starving 4-kid trailer trash loser to the big leagues where you and I now support her along with celeb/reality dollars. She ought to pop out 10 more while she can. Wouldn’t you if you knew the money machine was not getting unplugged?

  44. gwenda

    yeah right She’s probably actually going in for more plastic surgery using the money she was given to raise her kids

  45. a mother with sunglasses on means she cares just for one: HERSELF, folks!!

  46. Bo

    for the love of humanity, someone rip her uterus out as an extra measure. we have enough retards reproducing.

  47. Gary B

    Octoskank cannot have any more kids out of that clowncar VAG of her’s, this proves that God exists after all.

  48. i think the doctor should take her uterus out and put a beach ball in there and watch the madness last for the next six years after they find out it was a beach ball the whole time.

  49. Octobeast (TM) looks like a smelly rubber mutant.

    @39 – LOL (TM)

  50. Bob

    First she looked like Angelina, now she looks like Cher

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