As a rule of thumb, if the media’s already given you a nickname that ends in “mom,” your best is to keep your mouth shut and pray to God no one ever finds the bodies from your first attempt at child-rearing. Unfortunately, Tan Mom has practically been blood in the water for horrible moms looking for a quick scapegoat to point to and go, “See! She’s shittier than I am.” Which would probably work if you aren’t Snooki, or in this case, Octomom who decided over the weekend to tell TMZ Tan Mom needs parenting classes. Octomom said that:
Octo, fully clothed, said she doesn’t feel that Patricia Krentcil should lose her kids, but she does feel Child Protective Services should step in to give Krentcil some parenting tips.
Let’s just use basic math on this one without even getting into how fucking crazy both of these two are: Tan Mom tried to put one kid in a tanning booth. Octomom has 14 kids she can’t afford, so she leaves them in a piss-and-shit dungeon while she blows her porn paychecks on spray tans and Brazilian blowouts. So one of these people is just a giant moron with one poor victim, and the other one is en route to becoming the goddamn Hitler of parents. Not to mention, Tan Mom is probably going to die from stage-27 melanoma tomorrow and Octomom’s apparently a fitness addict, so her kids gave up on that dream a long time ago. “Listen up, bad news, everybody. The bitch is on the paleo-diet now, so we’re back to storing rat poison pellets until we have enough to go around. Nobody’s getting left behind, alright? Nobody.”
Photos: INFdaily
eww this website becomes more disgusting each day
That’s what I love about it.
Somewhere, Kim Kardashian’s ears perked up. “Piss and Shit Dungeon? Who’s making that movie? Can I audition for the lead?”
“Can you get the hell inside? Those photographers will still be here when you come out. The sun, too.”
It’s not Halloween yet you monster claw hands leatherface.
You just can’t handle the heat. Haterz just gotta keep on hatin’.
scariest hands ever!! yeeeeesh
Hey there fresh face! It’s so good to see America’s new reality star enjoying her day. Stay sexy!
Randal
I like how TMZ felt the need to specify that Octomom was fully clothed. “Whoa, whoa… it’s not like we’re crazy over here or nothin’.”
Also, does anyone else see a creepy parallel between Octomom raising 14 kids and the plot of The Boys From Brazil?
If the Cloward-Piven strategy were adopted by Nazis, sure.
I bet her asshole glows in the dark
Got milk?
She looks great. She looka baby face, uh?
Courtney Stodden in three years.
ah, 3 months.
YOU WON
Is that Snooki and Gucci bag face making up?
Was wondering if there any current celebrities that attained that status through hard work and talent….instead of profound idiocy and/or mental illness proudly displayed for all the world to see?
There are plenty of those, CD. You just don’t see them here much because Fish thinks too highly of most of them to lampoon them.
Seeing the K-Cow post I realize I left out the most common quality now seen in our culture’s latest batch of “celebrities”….avarice aka unconstrained and unashamed GREED.
How can a 70 year old have a small child anyway??
She actually has 2 small children…unfortunately, for the kids that is!
You’re new here huh?
Who can turn the world off with her tan?
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem too brown?
Well it’s you girl, and you should know it
With each tan and every little burn you show it
Sun is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a tan, why don’t you take it
You’re gonna tan it after all
You’re gonna tan it after all
That should definitely be her theme song for TanMom’s reality show…which we all know she is sooooo waiting for!
Sachey, chantey!
She should be careful, that necklace might block the sun from fully leather-ating her cleavage.
You gotta figure she tans for a reason. If she looks anything like her mongoloid daughter, I can see why.
shes a genius and you fell for her publicity stunt
She’s pulling that lady’s heart out through her chest, isn’t she?
No their Bra’s are caught on each other, front snap style
This woman should be representing NJ in those “visit NJ this summer” commercials.
Oh please, we have enough problems here with “Jersey Shore” fame!
Octomom will need 10 gallons of wax to Brazillian that hooch!
Goldie never changes .
She’s repulsive. Can we stop taking pictures of her now, please?
That’s the pot calling the kettle orange…
Ha ha ha hahahahaha hahahahaaaaaaaaaa! Gross.
OMG, i am laughing so hard, i can’t stop laughing!!! She is just hilarious!
You are laughing so hard, I already pee’d my shorts 8 times
We wonder what it is you’re drinking, Dad says he knows you have Drank Red Bull…and wonders what you added to the Red Bull or if that is a cup of Tanning Juice, and you tanned from within too.
Either way, you are a Scary Lady….so here is to Howling & Barking on any Moon lit night.
Our fur looks better than your Hair, which is the watch and which is the bracelet…both look ugly and those finger nails, at least we get our claws clipped. And is that a diaper bag for your Depends you wear ?
And it looks like you are staggering out of that vehicle, and are you going to your Attorney or Immigration by that sign, to get your Visa renewed, or a new picture for your passport ?
Inquiring minds want to know, and when do you plan to be on Jerry Springer ? See all of the attention you are getting…does any one pet you ? What does your husband look like ?
Trick or Treat !!! my what a big Diaper Bag you have, I mean Candy Bag…wait what kind of Candy, are we carrying…sorry I did not meant to be Nosy
Was it Coffee she just swallowed or Suntan Lotion
Oh Great, Dancing to cover up Staggering, on the Yellow Brick Road….Scarecrow Run, as you are no longer needed, you have been replaced
The Wild Hyena is Loose…who Let the Dogs Out !!!!
You are laughing so hard, I already peed my shorts 8 times
See she is nice, someone opened the door for her….Shes a Lady…thank goodness for a computer, we could not face her in public, we would embarrass ourselves.
What, we are only on the 7th picture and not comments..is that a necklace or our her teeth falling out too
Where is the Curb Harold ? I know I needed my walking cane
And I could only see one tattoo on her lower leg near her lovely feet…I wonder what she looks like in a bikini with a slut tat
At least the one on the left as a nicer tush, and no Snooki is not that tall, Nicole Elizabeth Polizzi is 4′ 9″
Ha ha, I drank too much, I have the wrong Mom-mobile
You have my Sexy side Paparazzi, keep shooting, I may make into Playboy yet….Hugh and I are about the same age in looks, its my new Tan Aging Cream, called Pâte Cake, Bakers Make
Finally the End….or her face at least looks like an end of something, South End of a North Bound Donkey….Heeee Hawwww