Octomom’s Lecturing Tan Mom Now

May 14th, 2012 // 55 Comments
Snooki Vs. Tan Mom
Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
She Doesn't Have An Ewok Leg To Stand On Read More »

As a rule of thumb, if the media’s already given you a nickname that ends in “mom,” your best is to keep your mouth shut and pray to God no one ever finds the bodies from your first attempt at child-rearing. Unfortunately, Tan Mom has practically been blood in the water for horrible moms looking for a quick scapegoat to point to and go, “See! She’s shittier than I am.” Which would probably work if you aren’t Snooki, or in this case, Octomom who decided over the weekend to tell TMZ Tan Mom needs parenting classes. Octomom said that:

Octo, fully clothed, said she doesn’t feel that Patricia Krentcil should lose her kids, but she does feel Child Protective Services should step in to give Krentcil some parenting tips.

Let’s just use basic math on this one without even getting into how fucking crazy both of these two are: Tan Mom tried to put one kid in a tanning booth. Octomom has 14 kids she can’t afford, so she leaves them in a piss-and-shit dungeon while she blows her porn paychecks on spray tans and Brazilian blowouts. So one of these people is just a giant moron with one poor victim, and the other one is en route to becoming the goddamn Hitler of parents. Not to mention, Tan Mom is probably going to die from stage-27 melanoma tomorrow and Octomom’s apparently a fitness addict, so her kids gave up on that dream a long time ago. “Listen up, bad news, everybody. The bitch is on the paleo-diet now, so we’re back to storing rat poison pellets until we have enough to go around. Nobody’s getting left behind, alright? Nobody.

Photos: INFdaily

superficial

  1. ingd

    eww this website becomes more disgusting each day

  2. JC

    Somewhere, Kim Kardashian’s ears perked up. “Piss and Shit Dungeon? Who’s making that movie? Can I audition for the lead?”

  3. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Commented on this photo:

    “Can you get the hell inside? Those photographers will still be here when you come out. The sun, too.”

  4. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Jean-Michel
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s not Halloween yet you monster claw hands leatherface.

  5. Randal

    Hey there fresh face! It’s so good to see America’s new reality star enjoying her day. Stay sexy!

    Randal

  6. I like how TMZ felt the need to specify that Octomom was fully clothed. “Whoa, whoa… it’s not like we’re crazy over here or nothin’.”

    Also, does anyone else see a creepy parallel between Octomom raising 14 kids and the plot of The Boys From Brazil?

  7. Dirk Diggler

    I bet her asshole glows in the dark

  8. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Commented on this photo:

    Got milk?

  9. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    King Diamond
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks great. She looka baby face, uh?

  10. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    gnarla
    Commented on this photo:

    Courtney Stodden in three years.

  11. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    King Diamond
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Snooki and Gucci bag face making up?

  12. Cock Dr

    Was wondering if there any current celebrities that attained that status through hard work and talent….instead of profound idiocy and/or mental illness proudly displayed for all the world to see?

    • There are plenty of those, CD. You just don’t see them here much because Fish thinks too highly of most of them to lampoon them.

      • Cock Dr

        Seeing the K-Cow post I realize I left out the most common quality now seen in our culture’s latest batch of “celebrities”….avarice aka unconstrained and unashamed GREED.

  13. AteIsEnough

    How can a 70 year old have a small child anyway??

  14. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Who can turn the world off with her tan?
    Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem too brown?
    Well it’s you girl, and you should know it
    With each tan and every little burn you show it

    Sun is all around, no need to waste it
    You can have a tan, why don’t you take it
    You’re gonna tan it after all
    You’re gonna tan it after all

  15. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Sachey, chantey!

  16. drunk at noon

    She should be careful, that necklace might block the sun from fully leather-ating her cleavage.

  17. JustWondering

    You gotta figure she tans for a reason. If she looks anything like her mongoloid daughter, I can see why.

  18. skunk

    shes a genius and you fell for her publicity stunt

  19. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Pip pip cheery-o
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s pulling that lady’s heart out through her chest, isn’t she?

  20. Blech

    This woman should be representing NJ in those “visit NJ this summer” commercials.

  21. Chico the man

    Octomom will need 10 gallons of wax to Brazillian that hooch!

  22. Goldie never changes .

  23. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Arf arf
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s repulsive. Can we stop taking pictures of her now, please?

  24. metoo

    That’s the pot calling the kettle orange…

  25. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Sanleto
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha ha ha hahahahaha hahahahaaaaaaaaaa! Gross.

  26. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Unbelievable
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG, i am laughing so hard, i can’t stop laughing!!! She is just hilarious!

  27. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Commented on this photo:

    We wonder what it is you’re drinking, Dad says he knows you have Drank Red Bull…and wonders what you added to the Red Bull or if that is a cup of Tanning Juice, and you tanned from within too.

    Either way, you are a Scary Lady….so here is to Howling & Barking on any Moon lit night.

  28. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Commented on this photo:

    Our fur looks better than your Hair, which is the watch and which is the bracelet…both look ugly and those finger nails, at least we get our claws clipped. And is that a diaper bag for your Depends you wear ?

    And it looks like you are staggering out of that vehicle, and are you going to your Attorney or Immigration by that sign, to get your Visa renewed, or a new picture for your passport ?

    Inquiring minds want to know, and when do you plan to be on Jerry Springer ? See all of the attention you are getting…does any one pet you ? What does your husband look like ?

  29. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Commented on this photo:

    Trick or Treat !!! my what a big Diaper Bag you have, I mean Candy Bag…wait what kind of Candy, are we carrying…sorry I did not meant to be Nosy

  30. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Commented on this photo:

    Was it Coffee she just swallowed or Suntan Lotion

  31. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh Great, Dancing to cover up Staggering, on the Yellow Brick Road….Scarecrow Run, as you are no longer needed, you have been replaced

  32. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Commented on this photo:

    The Wild Hyena is Loose…who Let the Dogs Out !!!!

  33. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Commented on this photo:

    You are laughing so hard, I already peed my shorts 8 times

  34. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Commented on this photo:

    See she is nice, someone opened the door for her….Shes a Lady…thank goodness for a computer, we could not face her in public, we would embarrass ourselves.

  35. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Commented on this photo:

    What, we are only on the 7th picture and not comments..is that a necklace or our her teeth falling out too

  36. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Commented on this photo:

    Where is the Curb Harold ? I know I needed my walking cane

  37. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Commented on this photo:

    And I could only see one tattoo on her lower leg near her lovely feet…I wonder what she looks like in a bikini with a slut tat

  38. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Commented on this photo:

    At least the one on the left as a nicer tush, and no Snooki is not that tall, Nicole Elizabeth Polizzi is 4′ 9″

  39. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha ha, I drank too much, I have the wrong Mom-mobile

  40. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Commented on this photo:

    You have my Sexy side Paparazzi, keep shooting, I may make into Playboy yet….Hugh and I are about the same age in looks, its my new Tan Aging Cream, called Pâte Cake, Bakers Make

  41. Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally the End….or her face at least looks like an end of something, South End of a North Bound Donkey….Heeee Hawwww

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