Octomom vs. Kate Gosselin: Please tell me they make the kids fight.

In today’s “You’re Fucking Kidding Me” news, Octomom is attacking Kate Gosselin for exploiting her children for attention. The Octomom who just signed a reality show and book deal – and has the trademarked nickname Octomom. Yeah. RadarOnline reports:

“She needs to stop being so judgmental and stop pulling at straws for attention,” Suleman exclusively told RadarOnline.com. Suleman also accused Kate of being desperate for attention and over-emotional.
“My children are extremely healthy, strong and happy. Don’t you have, like, a lot of issues in your life? A lot of marital problems?” she asked of Gosselin.
“Why are you so desperate to glob on to my life? For attention?”

I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume Octomom has no sense of irony because she’s goddamn bananas, so let’s cut to the chase: I’ll give her a pair of Jimmy Choos for each of her children, and we can save everyone the inevitable SWAT team negotiations down the line. Seriously, let’s nip this thing in the bud before we see a grown woman duct-tape infants to her torso like some sort of make-shift body armor then dive through a window at Macy’s.