Octomom lands reality show, book deal

Who didn’t see this coming? Nadya “Octomom” Suleman has not only landed a book deal but finally found a production company for her reality show, according to People:

Suleman’s attorney Jeff Czech calls the series a “quasi-reality” show, explaining that instead of having a dozen cameramen tromping around her house 24 hours a day, film crews will only document select milestones, such as birthdays and other special events.
“Nadya knows she has to do something,” says Czech. “But she doesn’t want the constant filming because she feels that would be taking advantage of her kids. She’s trying to find the middle ground and feels this approach will work best.”
Czech also insists that his client doesn’t want her series to resemble Jon and Kate Gosselin’s show.
“She’s been watching them a bit lately and thinks it’s boring,” says Czech.

Aw snap! Jon and Kate just got Octo-slapped! Okay, now that that’s out of the way, here’s how you can spot the parts of the show that are “quasi-reality”:

1. Any scene where Octomom tries to buy a pair of shoes and doesn’t ask the cashier if they accept “baby” as a form of payment.
2. Anytime you see Octomom withdrawal cash from the ATM instead of asking a crewmember to impregnate her.
3. All scenes involving nannies not jumping out the window with a baby under each arm screaming “Muchacha es el diablo!”
4. Montages featuring Octomom raising her children. (The CGI should tip you off.)
5. Kooky tea parties with Gloria Allred.