Octomom: ‘I have a better figure than Kate Gosselin’

August 20th, 2009 // 106 Comments

Nadya Suleman’s two-hour documentary Octomom: The Incredible Unseen Footage aired on FOX last night and showed the day-to-day life our of nation’s very own psychotic incubator. While the show was rife with reasons why Nadya shouldn’t be allowed to parent anything more aware than a potato, she also took time to fire off criticisms of TV mom Kate Gosselin, according to Celebuzz:

Clucking at the pictures of Gosselin parading around in a bikini on the beach from earlier this year, Suleman opined, “It’s so staged. She’s doing it to get people to take pictures of her… I feel like it’s cheating [to get a tummy-tuck]. It’s her choice. If she has enough money to fix herself, let her.”
Then Suleman tossed out another dis, declaring, “I have a better shape, though. I’m sorry, no offense to her.”
Apparently tired of attacking Gosselin’s physique, Suleman then went on to find fault with Gosselin’s personality.
“I’m not as attention-seeking [as Gosselin],” Suleman noted.

When she wasn’t attacking her porcupine-haired rival, Octomom was seen calling the police about the paparazzi – but not the ones she secretly invited into her house to photograph the children. She also told a disturbing story about making her own mother ride in the trunk of her car because she was sprayed by a skunk. I’m not even joking. The NJ Star Ledger reports:

The most chilling scene, for me, was when Nadya recounted the story that when was 17, her mother got sprayed by a skunk. Nadya told her the only way she’d ride home in the car with her was if she (her mother) went in the trunk of the car.
Nadya then recounted how she shut the trunk door (although her mother tried to keep it open a crack) then drove crazy so she could make her mother’s ride as uncomfortable as possible. “It was really funny,” she said, “I kept hearing her body roll from side to side.” From the deadness in her expression and in the tone of her voice, you got a terrifying whiff of someone seriously disconnected from human emotion. Until the documentary, I had dismissed claims that she was emotionally disturbed, thinking perhaps she was just a bit eccentric, but seeing her life exposed this way did nothing for her cause.

At this point, I’m almost convinced Nadya Suleman is on Kate Gosselin’s payroll because, shit, does Kate walk away from this looking awesome. No, really, I almost want to hunt down Jon Gosselin just to punch him in the nuts and say “Hey. At least you weren’t married to Octomom, jerk!” Then I’d steal his magical ATV and bed women with it. It’s the only way he’ll learn.

Photos: WENN
superficial

  1. kesha

    Oh bitch please, at least Kate was married when she had her children. Besides, the little boy who left his handprint lodged in your face and called you a bitch is befitting, huh? THOSE KIDS SHOULD RUN YOUR ASS RAGGED AND MAKE YOUR HAIR AS THIN AS THE AIR OUTSIDE, SAGGY TIT HOE.

  2. Baccusvd

    I want to like Octomom more then that bitch Kate… but Jesus…. they are both near misses at being average strippers. Whos more bangable between her and kate is impossible to answer, one is on welfare and will probably cut your dick off in your sleep, while the other is a rich bitch who will prolly cut your dick off in your sleep.

    They are both such prime examples of people who should not procreate. Gawd, even Britneys kids will turn out better.

  3. Dr. Cornelia J. Dogbarker, PhD resciinded

    Hi. I’ll be brief: If you watched this show, you are a stupid idiot. Fuck you.

  4. dumb whores

    ewwww they both look so CHEAP.

  5. derf

    I just read in Variety that TLC is developing a new reality show following the Gosselin’s divorce. It stars Nadya Suleman and Kate Gosselin and they team up as two single moms against the world. The working title is “22 Kids and 2 Crazy Bitches”

  6. Hefe

    The fun bags are hangin’ a little low.

  7. Garrett's Girl

    Yuck what repulsive feet this woman has. She could hang from a tree branch with those hoofs- sheesh!

    I could just imagine what her lily pad looks like- hurl.

  8. Bo

    This woman scares me more then Madonna’s vagina.

  9. SHE LOOKS sooooo much better thn kate, Kate is fat sorry. octos legs are nice and thin too, SKINNY RULES!!!

  10. puhleez

    She needs to be shot.

  11. bob

    I am not attention seeking says the octowelfaremom as she speaks to us from her 2 hr special on abc wither her litter of kids. who says trailer trash on lives in a trailer. what a moron

  12. lookmalia

    I found a great dating site_____W e a l t h y D a t e r. C 0 M_____.where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true! u dont have to be a millionaire.but u can meet one. I thought everyone needed to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy .———————————————–

  13. lookmalia

    I found a great dating site_____W e a l t h y D a t e r. C 0 M_____.where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true! u dont have to be a millionaire.but u can meet one. I thought everyone needed to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy .———————————————–

  14. KIDSat RISK-karen Lee

    HAD OCTO-incubator BOUGHT 14 beagles because she was lonely … State & Local laws would NOT allow her to keep them. Rules are in place to PROTECT ANIMALS from harm.

    14 beagles would (by law) BE RAISED on CONSIDERABLE ACREAGE (far out in the country) where it’s really “safe” & ALL would have ROOM to thrive.

    INSTEAD: She’s brought FOURTEEN Sentient HUMAN BEINGS into this world with NO THOUGHT and UTTER DISREGARD for THEIR well being — WHAT THEY NEED TO FLOURISH.

    If this was STAR TREK, entire galaxies would go to WAR — to protect the SENTIENT (conscious) BEINGS.

    The PRIMARY DIRECTIVE: Do NO HARM – NEVER adversely affect SENTIENT BEINGS; they have inalienable rights to exist & as such CANNOT BE HARMED.

    NOTHING can make it RIGHT for these 14 kids. LOVING THEM IS NOT ENOUGH. They must be nurtured; loved without remorse — & be the “center” of their parents’ universe.
    With OCTO-LEACH … ALL are only COMMODITIES to help HER exist.

    Every earth human has “STANDING” where these 14 sentient beings are concerned.

    CPS: ACT IN THE KIDS’ BEST INTERESTS –BECAUSE OCTO-LEACH NEVER WILL. EVERY adult human being has an obligation to ACT on behalf of those kids; ANIMAL CONTROL certainly would!
    LEGISLATORS: PASS LAWS TO PREVENT THIS NEW FORM OF SLAVERY.

  15. KIDSat RISK-karen Lee

    HAD OCTO-incubator BOUGHT 14 beagles because she was lonely … State & Local laws would NOT allow her to keep them. Rules are in place to PROTECT ANIMALS from harm.

    14 beagles would (by law) BE RAISED on CONSIDERABLE ACREAGE (far out in the country) where it’s really “safe” & ALL would have ROOM to thrive.

    INSTEAD: She’s brought FOURTEEN Sentient HUMAN BEINGS into this world with NO THOUGHT and UTTER DISREGARD for THEIR well being — WHAT THEY NEED TO FLOURISH.

    If this was STAR TREK, entire galaxies would go to WAR — to protect the SENTIENT (conscious) BEINGS.

    The PRIMARY DIRECTIVE: Do NO HARM – NEVER adversely affect SENTIENT BEINGS; they have inalienable rights to exist & as such CANNOT BE HARMED.

    NOTHING can make it RIGHT for these 14 kids. LOVING THEM IS NOT ENOUGH. They must be nurtured; loved without remorse — & be the “center” of their parents’ universe.
    With OCTO-LEACH … ALL are only COMMODITIES to help HER exist.

    Every earth human has “STANDING” where these 14 sentient beings are concerned.

    CPS: ACT IN THE KIDS’ BEST INTERESTS –BECAUSE OCTO-LEACH NEVER WILL. EVERY adult human being has an obligation to ACT on behalf of those kids; ANIMAL CONTROL certainly would!
    LEGISLATORS: PASS LAWS TO PREVENT THIS NEW FORM OF SLAVERY.

  16. lamuella

    Jesus christ, bitch looks like Angelina Jolie’s muppet.

  17. EricLR

    I never thought I would encounter a psychobitch so vile as to make me long for the cold embrace of Kate Gosselin and her evil, evil hair. But here we are. Even Jon Gosselin wouldn’t touch this crazy skank.

  18. sachet

    #39…NO You don’t ignore it when children cuss. YOU CHASTISE THEM. Let them know that word(s) are not acceptable to say. And they will be punished if they every say the word(s) again. You don’t ignore bad behavior.

  19. sean

    That is one plastic face. Total plastic.

  20. Firstly, I’d hit it! Sike, she is totally freaky. The hair puts a nail in that coffin. Anyone else want to barf on the hair?

    Secondly, KIDSat RISK-karen Lee @64 and @65, you are a tard.
    This is important: STAR TREK IS NOT REAL.

  21. Dick NOT Throbbn

    Big tits anyway………

    SCARY alligator stomach no doubt though……….

  22. shelly

    wow… so for a women who cannot afford to take care of her litter of 14 how the fuck can she afford true religion jeans and starbucks? this lady makes me sick.

  23. Jenna

    She regrets the children being raised without a fatherly figure.
    The world regrets the children being raised without a motherly one.

  24. Claire

    I find it very hard to believe that Octomom didn’t have a tummy tuck (and more) after looking like this:

    http://livingears.com/music/SexPistols/octomom.jpg

  25. Chupacabra

    Put them all down. The mom, all the kids, and burn the house. Fuck it.

  26. datroof

    She looks like she’s got almost no waist and scrawny chicken legs. Bet her ass is a destroyed wasteland of sagging skin and pockmarked cellulite. Probably looks like the surface of the moon.

  27. Darth

    I haven’t seen her in bikini yet.

  28. Galtacticus

    Since she’s a former stripper,maybe.

  29. Kelley

    Yikes … I guess she figures her nose jobs and lip fillers don’t count ? Get a breast lift, woman. You look like Peter Griffin when he “donated” his bones on that Family Guy episode. Psycho … and this is in the works for a reality show ? Gimme a fuckin’ break. The good old USA.

  30. Blech

    @ 36: I couldn’t have typed that better, myself.

    Can’t stand either one of them. Making babies is not an accomplishment. Being responsible IS.

  31. Blech

    Know what I hate? I hardly wear make-up, usually only mascara and maybe a little blush. My hair is dark. I have a similar face shape to this woman, but our facial features are very different. My lips are naturally full and pouty, cheekbones are good and my eyes match my hair– never had plastic surgery in my life… And some people on the street have the audacity to say that I “look like her”.

    Fuck ‘em. I don’t look like Octomom– she looks a little like me. If I gain thirty pounds and eat something I’m allergic to, maybe I’ll look more like her.

    Allow me to also declare that Suleman doesn’t even remotely resemble Angelina Jolie, other than the haircolor. Her lips are a sloppy job. Her chiseled face…

    Anyway, Nadya Suleman looks more like Michael Jackson.

  32. me

    LOL @ #55! Good one!

    I did watch a little bit of it, regrettably, and she even said that she’s “NEVER” had plastic surgery, and that her lips are because of “water retention.” Yeah, sure.

    BTW, Kate suddenly is looking like a normal person after watching this trainwreck lunatic.

  33. nettie

    Nice.. cant wait to see what social deviants this bitch raises! I cant believe some quack job thought this ho dog was suitable to raise this many kids.. we need 2 bullets one for this bitch and another for the doctor who agreed to do this shit!!

  34. darius bartakumus

    I met octomom at a bar last night. She pulled that whole, “I can shoot a ping pong out of my octonator bullshit.” So, I took her up on that shit. I only had four wet wrinkly nasty dollar bills on me and the worst cold silver dollar that you ever did see. I bet her all five of my nasty treasure against her loose soggy octoflaps hanging there. So, we shook hands and she straddled the bar stool in the corner. FLOP! FLOP! PONG! Not one! Not two! but Three! Ping pongs flopped out of her octopussy with so much might, I shit myself like a baby out of the womb. Cough!

  35. GGtheDancingQueen

    Y’all shouldn’t go ’round hatin’ on Nadya. She’s just tryin’ to make a good life for her 51 children.

  36. yowillie

    What a piece of trash. She really needs help. Send her to a vet.

  37. yowillie

    What a piece of trash. She really needs help. Send her to a vet.

  38. yowillie

    This tramp does not seek attention? What planet is she from?

  39. yowillie

    This tramp does not seek attention? What planet is she from?

  40. yowillie

    This tramp does not seek attention? What planet is she from?

  41. Yikes, what kind of person would do that to her own mother? Man. Scary.

    -meream

  42. She has a rubbery looking Halloween mask face.

  43. Sandy Vag

    First off…Kate Gosselin is responsible adult, a great mom to 8, and looks damn good! I say props to Kate and flaunt that bikini body…you work hard! She had her TummyTuck courtesy of a kind Doctor’s wife. They gave her a new hope, and gave him some decent advertising too!

    To Nadya, the Angelina wannabe…that has no CLUE what it takes to be a good mom, including having a father figure, a job, and no state funding to raise your tribe… Idiot. YOU are such an attention whore it’s sad. I feel bad for your 14 kids that will be “raised” by you. Welfare-Sucking douchebag,,,,I see right through you. Further more, I can put $1000 dollars that your stomach looks like a giant NUTSACK…trust me! And you are jealous of anything and everyone else has,,,and you will never get! Shame on you.

    Ps. God Bless your Children…seriously!

  44. RequireImmediateAttention

    Dear Superficial Writer,You Should Stop Posting About That Octobitch She only want to get talked about…and she’s not even close to sexy,bitch!

  45. me

    I’m not crazy about this woman, but I have to agree, she indeed has a better figure than Gosselin. But I really don’t see why either of these women are still in the spotlight. Time to go away now…

  46. In an exciting new development FOX networks has found its replacement for Paula Abdul now that she has left American Idol. It will be Octomom (Nadya Suleman). You might be asking the question what makes Nadya qualified to have a two hour special on the network for insanity. Well her qualifications are getting injected by a nut ball fertility doctor and then having a shitload of kids. I mean we all know that having a shitload of kids qualifies you for all kinds of unique and interesting things. FOX has suggested they are interested in reporting on Nadya’s ability and process for raising 126 children at one time. The interesting thing is how you report on fiction. Wouldn’t Nadya be required to care about the kids to begin with in order for her to be video-taped raising them?

    http://journalstone.com/2009/08/10/does-the-octomom-breast-feed/

  47. courtney

    i dont think its right that she can sit there and say that kate is out for attention… kate had those kids because she wanted a family. i mean kate was married to a man who worked, she had her own home, and she could provide a very fullfilling life for her children. As far as octomom is concerened i think it is selfish that she would have that many kids with no father. She keeps slamming kate for having a show about her family… yet octomom now has a show for what… i think its for ATTENTION!!! Also, as far as the tummy tuck goes kate was not planning on someone to step up and just give it to her, yet when the offer came ya she took it who wouldnt., and octomom has no right to say anything about her tummy tuck because she is going around getting surgery to look like angelina jolie so more than likeley she probally had another surgery to get rid of her tummy as well. i just think that octomom needs to worry about her own life instead of targeting one of americas best family role models.

  48. courtney

    i dont think its right that she can sit there and say that kate is out for attention… kate had those kids because she wanted a family. i mean kate was married to a man who worked, she had her own home, and she could provide a very fullfilling life for her children. As far as octomom is concerened i think it is selfish that she would have that many kids with no father. She keeps slamming kate for having a show about her family… yet octomom now has a show for what… i think its for ATTENTION!!! Also, as far as the tummy tuck goes kate was not planning on someone to step up and just give it to her, yet when the offer came ya she took it who wouldnt., and octomom has no right to say anything about her tummy tuck because she is going around getting surgery to look like angelina jolie so more than likeley she probally had another surgery to get rid of her tummy as well. i just think that octomom needs to worry about her own life instead of targeting one of americas best family role models.

  49. Chris

    you can always take a flame to a leech… she’s a big leech at that!

  50. Sara

    Kate Gosselin just keeps on spending on herself. Spending time and money on herself. She is not a mom she is a money whore. She is not a celeb., she is a sick individual who seems dangerous to her children. She has alread done so much damage the children need counseling. Sexy-that is what she wants, fame-that is what she wants. All she wants is for KATE and more KATE. While the children are suffering she is out pimping not with the 8 children she had implanted in her. She needs to pay attention to the children and not on her and her appearance and fame search. Kate had this all planned to say the least. Jon spoke up and she is trying to put him away as is TLC-all for money and fame. Kate Gosselin is a down right dirt bag. Hope she gets spit on by the children and the world. What a useless piece of shit!

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