Octomom: ‘I have a better figure than Kate Gosselin’

August 20th, 2009 // 106 Comments

Nadya Suleman’s two-hour documentary Octomom: The Incredible Unseen Footage aired on FOX last night and showed the day-to-day life our of nation’s very own psychotic incubator. While the show was rife with reasons why Nadya shouldn’t be allowed to parent anything more aware than a potato, she also took time to fire off criticisms of TV mom Kate Gosselin, according to Celebuzz:

Clucking at the pictures of Gosselin parading around in a bikini on the beach from earlier this year, Suleman opined, “It’s so staged. She’s doing it to get people to take pictures of her… I feel like it’s cheating [to get a tummy-tuck]. It’s her choice. If she has enough money to fix herself, let her.”
Then Suleman tossed out another dis, declaring, “I have a better shape, though. I’m sorry, no offense to her.”
Apparently tired of attacking Gosselin’s physique, Suleman then went on to find fault with Gosselin’s personality.
“I’m not as attention-seeking [as Gosselin],” Suleman noted.

When she wasn’t attacking her porcupine-haired rival, Octomom was seen calling the police about the paparazzi – but not the ones she secretly invited into her house to photograph the children. She also told a disturbing story about making her own mother ride in the trunk of her car because she was sprayed by a skunk. I’m not even joking. The NJ Star Ledger reports:

The most chilling scene, for me, was when Nadya recounted the story that when was 17, her mother got sprayed by a skunk. Nadya told her the only way she’d ride home in the car with her was if she (her mother) went in the trunk of the car.
Nadya then recounted how she shut the trunk door (although her mother tried to keep it open a crack) then drove crazy so she could make her mother’s ride as uncomfortable as possible. “It was really funny,” she said, “I kept hearing her body roll from side to side.” From the deadness in her expression and in the tone of her voice, you got a terrifying whiff of someone seriously disconnected from human emotion. Until the documentary, I had dismissed claims that she was emotionally disturbed, thinking perhaps she was just a bit eccentric, but seeing her life exposed this way did nothing for her cause.

At this point, I’m almost convinced Nadya Suleman is on Kate Gosselin’s payroll because, shit, does Kate walk away from this looking awesome. No, really, I almost want to hunt down Jon Gosselin just to punch him in the nuts and say “Hey. At least you weren’t married to Octomom, jerk!” Then I’d steal his magical ATV and bed women with it. It’s the only way he’ll learn.

Photos: WENN
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  1. D4

    “I’m not as attention-seeking”

    Maybe so. Yet she’s curiously even more of a narcissist. Gosselin at least didn’t insist on having more children while unmarried and with no means of support.

  2. eric

    Somone needs to put a bullet in this bitch.

  3. CharlieWordsworth

    I would take Kate Gosselin’s body and mind and life ANY DAY over anything that FREAK might have to offer. And then I would go re-do my hair.

  4. extracheeseplease

    Hey Bitch! your kids are on Welfare!

  5. Mac

    This girl talks like an 8 year old. She has crazy eyes. She is psychotic.

  6. sarah

    at least kate gosselins a real person

  7. Richard McBeef

    At least Gosselin’s tits are mounted on her chest, whereas Octocunt has them on her knees. Octo might have a better ass though, based solely on the fact it can’t be worse than Gosselin’s.

  8. All agree then . . .

    Wow. All posts till now agree this woman is a few fries short of a happy meal. Does not bode well for her try at a reality show, though there are probably some MSNBC nuts that will fawn over her debut.

  9. You know

    Wow. All posts above agree this wreck is a few fries short of a happy meal. Does not bode well for her shot at a reality show. Probably are enough MSNBC nuts to fawn over a debut of this welfare mom nut case.

  10. How could you treat your mother this way? she oughta be hung by her octoflaps

  11. nice girl

    This lady is so fake. She acts and thinks like she is a celebrity now. Holding starbuck coffee, etc…….so disgusting low and cheap. This bitch does not deserve a reality tv show.

  12. kris

    I’d HIT IT!!!

  13. Schadenfreudelicious

    I’m no fan of Kate but at least she could actually be described as attractive and while a beeyotch to be sure.. one that seems capable of occasionally stringing an intelligent sentence together……Octofreak on the other hand seems to have an intellect somewhere between cretin and moron..on a good day……and for her to comment on Gosselin’s tummy tuck with a pie hole full of collagen is pretty damn funny….

  14. suzeeeee

    It was funny when her little two old calls her ‘bitch’! Did anyone catch that??? hilarious

  15. tommy salami

    2 words……………………………… nasty feet

  16. rich

    That bitch should be beaten and buried alive

  17. LaDeeDa

    @14

    The child? Who called her a bitch, slapped her in the face and attempted to bite and kick anyone/thing that he came in contact with? Needs a good fuckin’ spanking. And a nap. And a brand new foster home. And then maybe, MAYBE he’ll have a fighting chance.

    The day I called my mother a “bitch” would be my last. She would’ve seen to it.

    I also just cringed every single time she responded to a question with her pathetic “I’ve got 3 years worth of community college under my gunt” psycobabble.

    Octomom? Is just plain pathetic.

  18. jennifer hammond

    She is lying, there is no way she slimmed down that fast after birthing those 8 little welfare mongers. Her skin would be flabby and lose, she also had a tummy tuck. Its very obvious. Also, for her breasts to be implants, they look like shit, they are very saggy. Everything that comes out of this woman’s mouth is a lie,. I wish someone would do her in already. She doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as the rest of us.

  19. Jen

    I can’t get the image of Kate’s big fat ass, lose cottage cheese thighs, and Winnie tat cankles out of my mind but she is still better than this wreck

  20. Ericka

    I just love this woman. She has really put Gloria Alread (wtf) in her place…. in the sewer.

  21. mick

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture of her without Starbucks in her hand.

  22. StEvec

    Octo has one helluva bigger forehead than Kate G as well…looks like the remainder of her hair (if it’s real) is ready to fall off the back.

  23. Superbiggerevil

    They need to take the fucking kids away from her before she flips out and drowns them in the bathtub like that crazy bitch in Texas a few years back.

  24. antoine

    Not really Nadya Suleman but nice try!!! Just keep telling yourself that if that’s what you need to help you to sleep better tonight!!! Fat Bitch!

  25. Kirken

    Too bad you’re ugly as sin!

  26. Kirken

    Too Bad you’re ugly as sin Nadya

  27. J.

    Ok, so Octocmom has is more well endowed, but the choice is hard, One who is as a dumb as a sack of rocks or one who is queen super xxxx! ohhhh the choices are so difficult!!!!!! Awwww hell, Lindsey Lohan Rocks!!! Go Lindsey!!!!

  28. Senior Pepe

    Somone needs to put a bullet in this bitch.

    At least Gosselin’s tits are mounted on her chest, whereas Octocunt has them on her knees. Octo might have a better ass though, based solely on the fact it can’t be worse than Gosselin’s.

    2 words……………………………… nasty feet

    Not really Nadya Suleman but nice try!!! Just keep telling yourself that if that’s what you need to help you to sleep better tonight!!! Fat Bitch!

    Too Bad you’re ugly as sin Nadya

    \ Let’s not forget the sharp knees!
    \\Time to come out of the basement, Mom is calling you for supper…

  29. nastyjay

    id fuck her

  30. Damon

    @ #12 – Here’s your BAT, sir….

  31. Alys

    @18 you are right 100% !…

  32. Melissa

    Um, what about the botox, nose job, and lip fillers that you shot into your frightening ass face? I saw that that bullshit was on (Fox, no less… go figure). I wanted to put a fist through the television screen. YIKES!!!

  33. Lisa

    How can this bitch afford True Religions? She has 8 kids to support! Those jeans alone could buy 1252 diapers

  34. ginger

    her kids are on welfare yet she is wearing $250.00 jeans and drinking starbucks. nice.

  35. Mickey0123

    This broad is certifiable. First of all you don’t, but what difference would it make as both of your vaginas are probably the size of the Holland Tunnel. And who is noticing besides that turkey baster that you used to have your kids.

  36. Nameless

    Do you know what you call those completely useless pieces of flesh attached to each of these women’s vagina?

    Answer: Nadya and Kate

  37. Kelley

    I’m with #13 … right on. Plus she’s a nut-job.

  38. CG

    Both of these skeezers are attention whores just in different ways.
    Octamom is worse IMO but Kate isn’t much better.

  39. mommy

    @17 You are actually supposed to ignore it if children use ‘swear words’. Not the behavior but you don’t make a big deal about the ‘word’..it only makes the child realize, even more, the power of the word. Then they say it all day long and really understand how to use it. This child doesn’t know the difference between ‘bitch’ and ‘mommy I’m mad at you’ . Would you beat your child for saying the latter?? nope.

    Anyway she did a good job of ignoring that word. It is is the only thing you can do at that age and put them in time out like she was trying. For sure, she is over her head but maybe at least she won’t physically or verbally abuse them like a lot of other overwhelmed moms out there.

  40. kingofbeer

    WTF is this fugly week at the superficial. you where on a run for a while.

    can we make next week topless MILF week? Denise Richards mmmm :)

  41. vito

    Saying she has a better shape than Kate Gosselin is like saying she is smarter than a pot roast.

  42. TERRI

    SHE’S ONE CRAZY BI—!!!!! THAT SHOULDN’T HAVE EVEN ONE CHILD….TO TREAT YOUR MOTHER THAT WAY….I JUST HAVE A LOSS FOR WORDS!!!!

  43. TERRI

    SHE’S ONE CRAZY BI—!!!!! THAT SHOULDN’T HAVE EVEN ONE CHILD….TO TREAT YOUR MOTHER THAT WAY….I JUST HAVE A LOSS FOR WORDS!!!!

  44. p-man

    Let me see a welfare whore with 8 kids or what ever she has..or a college educated whore with eight kids..hmm choice choices…

  45. rj

    Were is the guy who killed that model at when you need him???

  46. rj

    were is that guy who killed that model when you need him?? you forgot somebody!

  47. rj

    were is that guy who killed that model when you need him?? you forgot somebody!

  48. rj

    were is that guy who killed that model when you need him?? you forgot somebody!

  49. rj

    were is that guy who killed that model when you need him?? you forgot somebody!

  50. rj

    were is that guy who killed that model when you need him?? you forgot somebody!

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