Octomom can keep her house – if she does porn

March 22nd, 2010 // 64 Comments

Steven Hirsch of Vivid Entertainment is apparently Satan because I can’t come up with a rational explanation for offering to pay off Octomom’s house if she does porn. TMZ reports:

“I can only imagine the anxiety that this must be causing you and your family.” But this guy isn’t just talk … he’s willing to pay off her home if Octo stars in a sex tape.
TMZ has obtained a letter from Steven Hirsch, Prez of Vivid Entertainment, to Octomom, in which he offers to pay off the balance due on the house — around $460,000 — if she’s willing to take it lying down.

“Oh, good. I’ve always wanted to watch a porn that ends in multiple child births. No, really, who wants to see a bunch of hot chicks perform erotic sex acts when you can watch a man essentially try to bang the Lincoln Tunnel? That’s how I want to spend my lunch break.”

- What Absolutely No Sane Person is Thinking

  1. noonchch

    not even it if it’s free

  2. Tara

    OMG… one of the fuglyest bodies I have ever seen… put that away!!!

  3. i’d still hit that. she’s got DSL’s and some big ass tits. what’s not to like?

  4. mikeybikey

    ….id watch it

  5. Billy Reno

    No man will ever be able to satisfy her. Her dildo is a fucking BABY DOLL!

  6. Mr. T

    I would probably watch it when you can see it for free but I sure would not pay for it…but I am curious even though she looks pretty gross.

  7. Galtacticus

    Well? Whether she’s an IVF mastodon or an one-time pornstar.The subject ‘vagina’ is anyway firmly attached to her.

  8. i would watch it for the same reasons i would watch faces of death…to prove to my friends that im not a pussy.

    seriously, what the fuck did she do to her face?!

  9. Mark B

    I’m with #4. I dig big titties.

  10. Dick Face

    I would like to see her viciously pounded by a few of the biggest dick out there and maybe a few fists then popped with buckets of gizz all over her grotesque “Angelina wanna-be” face, now that might be worth watching and paying a couple dollars for.

  11. DP

    A peter north load might make her face look better

  12. Rhialto

    People do look at her like she’s a curiosity anyway.Unlike her financial situation her life wouldn’t change much. .

  13. anon

    Isn’t she a virgin? Someone should tell her women in porn can’t get away with doing nothing like women in real life.
    They have to have some skills.

  14. Ain't nothing wrong with a little Rough pride

    Hope she swallows her pride and says YES>>>after all this is for the KIDS.

    Since ABE been long gone, hope they team her up with Beettlejuice from the stern show…

  15. Nero

    She might even going to like it.Maybe she’d discover hidden talents!?

  16. B

    She’s already said she doesn’t like sex, so how good would she be at porn?

    I don’t care if she gets thrown onto the street, but someone is going to have to step up for those babies.

  17. Jack

    If she has any brains at all she’ll do it. $460,000 is a lot of money, and she has no other apparent skills. Best deal she could possibly make.

  18. Tek

    Half a million for a sextape of this loose (she has a shitload of kids, incase you forgot) tranny? I think that’s hilarious considering that real pornstars are getting DPed for under $1000 nowdays. LOL

  19. Wild Stallionz

    The phrase: “she made her bed, now let her lie in it” comes to mind. Only she’ll be naked, and maybe not in bed. I understand they do some of these on the kitchen table, and other insane places…

  20. Georgeo

    I would do her right up that fat butt of hers. Angelina Jolie is an ugly SKAG compared to OCTOMOM.


  21. I would watch…and jerk off, I have no shame

  22. Mick

    Didn’t they offer her a million last year?

  23. Her Bitchness

    OMG too funny. She actually thinks she looks good here…LOL LOL LOL LOL

  24. Sport

    One of the most hideous creatures around. I cant even look at her face.

  25. dude

    I’ll pay her $470,000 to NOT do it

  26. Richard McBeef

    To make it fair for everybody that has to see her ugly mug on TV, there should be a stipulation that said pornography would be egregiously violent, degrading and morally unsound. Kinda like having 14 kids you can’t afford.

  27. Get a Job bitch

    her 15 min are long over…..

  28. PooPooCachoo

    Even Mandingo would get lost in that mayonnaise jar! That said, I would love to see him finally go balls deep on someone. Heck, let’s make this a party. Train station her ass with the fattest cocks in the biz. Offer a bonus to whoever can make her coochie bleed!

  29. dude

    after looking at her disgusting bikini pics from a month ago, Im convinced that she puts the “Ho” in “Holy Crap”.

    also, the best comment ever was tokenirish, who said the video of the bikini shoot was scrapped because the sound of the wind rushing thru her legs sounded like a combo jug band and a bicycle with cards in the spokes.

  30. btreese

    This woman needs to fall off the face of the earth….

  31. She just looks batshit crazy, but I doubt she’ll do the porno.
    She’ll just beg for money again, and people will donate, because they feel sorry for her kids.
    I hope they removed her uterus.

  32. Doc Schweinstrudel

    lol at #6

  33. elephantman

    Its unfortunate that she only likes to go out with black people, fuckin nigger lover!

  34. bar room hero

    lol @6:

    hotdog down a hallway…

  35. Nameless

    LOL…called it..in my previous comments a few days ago.

  36. I can see the logic here: after all those kids, it will take something exceptional to fill that void, To an average guy, doing her would be like pushing a hot dog down Broadway. Resistance would not just be futile, it would be missing in action.

  37. IHFG (I Hate Fucking Gooks)

    I’d hit that so long as she wasn’t a fucking gook!

  38. Her belly button looks like a freaking quarter slot. I’m sure she’ll do anything for a buck or two now-a-days. If not porn, I’m sure there’s a street corner somewhere that’ll make way for her expert blowjobs as well as provide an opportunity to collect from her next sperm “donor.”

  39. Anne Boolean

    I’ll pay off her damn mortgage if she doesn’t do porn.

  40. I would like to see her viciously pounded by a few of the biggest dick out there and maybe a few fists then popped with buckets of gizz all over her grotesque “Angelina wanna-be” face…

  41. rachel

    ew stop getting pictures of ur beat ass taken and go home and take care of ur one billion children. and get a job! ur whack

  42. oh,sharp color. my favorite red

  43. Cartman

    I wanna see her get fucked up the ass by 8 different black guys in a porn flick.

    Not that it would turn me on but it would be a small step towards some sort of justice in this world. Kind of like me winning the lottery.

  44. Rhialto

    On the one hand there’s her pride and on the other this easy bail out . .

  45. Nero

    Turns out that up till now her pride isn’t very good in providing shelter..

  46. Gando

    She could take the role of a sexual liberated woman and still keep her pride?

  47. Darth

    The standard ‘leaking’ will be a bit difficult this time.

  48. captain america

    maybe this is her way of attracting a new father for the kids?

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