Octomom’s a Stripper. The Circle is Now Complete.

June 4th, 2012 // 35 Comments
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A few weeks back I gave Octomom some shit for immediately blowing her porn paycheck on blowouts and gym memberships while still on welfare. (Or at least the kids are because they’re goddamn bums using crazy Octo-logic.) So I’m a man enough to admit when I made a mistake because clearly she was making an investment for her new career as a stripper. TMZ reports:

That’s right … sources close to Octo tell TMZ she has booked a gig at T’s Lounge in West Palm Beach, FL for her first stint as a stripper. We’re told Octomom will do two shows a night from July 11-15.
But it’s not all good news — or maybe it is — because we’re told that while T’s Lounge is all-nude, Octo will only be going topless. And if you were hoping to take Octo back to the champagne room, that’s not going to happen — she won’t be doing lap dances.
According to our sources, Octo has felt “sexually liberated” since filming her solo porn (due out this summer) and decided stripping would be a good way to promote the upcoming video.

I love how each step towards hooking Octomom tries to set some sort of boundaries only to realize, “Wait a minute, I have 14 goddamn kids,” and immediately panicking her clothes off while there’s still enough dudes out there going, “Yeah, normal porn is great. But what I’d really like to see is a topless, horribly disfigured octuplet-birther make duck lips at me for money.” (We truly are an incredible gender.) Long story short, $5 Octo-jobs behind the dumpster for everyone! Yayyyyyy!

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Apro

    Hah, she has to keep the bottoms on or her lips would drag to the floor….8 kids. Tsk tsk tsk

  2. Clarence Beeks

    Fucking GROSS.

  3. USDA Prime McBeef

    Let’s fold our dollar bills up into little airplanes and see whose flies furthest into that thang.

  4. Short FB!

    So. There are dozens lot of strippers with 8 kids.

  5. Octo has felt “sexually liberated” since filming her solo porn . Yo, I sexually liberate myself every night my girlfriend ain’t at home Biatch !

    • Belle Starr

      It only took her until age 37 to figure out masturbation and even then she had to have a porn star tell her how to do it. I thought we were born knowing how. One dumb twunt.

  6. it had to be said

    Gentlemen, welcome Psycha to the stage!!!

  7. West Palm Beach, eh? When she starts her appearance there, I’ll have to get on a plane….

    GOING THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE DIRECTION

  8. DeucePickle

    Thank God it’s only topless cause I’m just not ready for to her to unleash upon my eyeballs the true visual definition of “meat curtains”.

  9. Dick Hell

    She’ll strip for free but if you want her to put it back on it’ll cost ya.

  10. JC

    No strip club has the kind of liability insurance that would allow a bottomless Octomom near customers.

  11. She’s just warming up for the inevitable…..HARD CORE PORN!

  12. Strip, strip
    strip to my lou
    strip strip strip to my lou
    strip to my lou my donkey.

  13. YoMamma

    Everyone jokes about her roast beef curtains but you do realize there’s no way in hell she vaginally gave birth to 8 babies in one sitting, right? Do you think they just line up and march out? Any more than twins perfectly aligned and you are a definite c-section.

    Not that *I* want to see her vag or anything but I doubt it looks any different than the average nutbag woman…

  14. Octomom
    Commented on this photo:

    I was scratching my left eye when I spied her semi-camel toe. Luckily for me ’cause only the retina in my right eye was burned to a crisp.

  15. Cock Dr

    This headcase destroyed her own life and brought a humongous litter of fucked up humans into the world for the CA taxpayers to support. It’s about time she went out and shook her moneymaker.

  16. EricLr

    Wow, and I thought I had seen some nasty strippers in the middle of the day in the bad part of town.

  17. cc

    You’ll notice the words ‘revenue’ and ‘profit’ are absent from this story.

  18. … We are an interesting gender???

    Fish, I’m presuming you mean men.

    Fish– I will have you know that the fastest growing group of porn watchers and strip club patrons happen to be women.

    So Fish— think of this the next time you indulge in any self-loathing misandrous misgivings.

    Because although the male gender may be quite fucked-up, the female gender has been turbo boosted, and Vegas bookies have 20 to 1 odds that as far as the race to be the most fucked-up gender is concerned– not only will females catch up to male’s fuckery, but soon leave us in the dust– that is of course if they haven’t already.

  19. “Believe me, there’d be plenty of women going for these pig-men. Whatever the deformity is, there’s always some group of perverts that’s attracted to it. ‘Ooh, that little tail really turns me on.’ ” –Jerry Seinfeld

  20. Blech

    Goddammit. Where is that flesh-eating bacteria when we need it?

  21. lailag

    meat curtains in the buttermilk
    shoo fly, shoo
    meat curtains in the buttermilk
    shoo fly, shoo
    meat curtains in the buttermilk
    shoo fly, shoo
    shit on your shoe
    my dahling

  22. pretty upsidedownspreadeagle

    OR-
    she might just be an athlete in training for the olympics since since POLE DANCING is being given serious consideration for inclusion as a sport.
    srsly. pole dancing is a serious sport.

  23. Couldn’t have happened to a crazier bitch.

  24. Every day she inches closer and closer to the inevitable. Hardcore gonzo style pornography. I’ll see you on the otherside.

  25. Meh

    Too much Dungeons and Donuts does this to one!

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