“For the last time, lady, we know how you got those scars. Quit askin’.”
If you can’t tell by the Snooki pool party post, it’s lunchtime on the east coast, so here’s Octomom showing off her pregnancy scars at a celebrity boxing match over the weekend because apparently Octomom celebrity boxes now. Anyway, I like how she shows them off as if we’re supposed to be shocked and sympathetic to the physical damage childbirth caused her. Which most people would be had this been the result of not recklessly cramming her uterus full of eight babies just to become the next Kate Gosselin. Once you do that, this becomes the equivalent of shoving your hand in a blender and expecting people to weep for your missing fingers. “How can life be so cruel?” you’ll ask. “Because the uterus isn’t a fucking minivan,” we’ll respond before realizing that has nothing to do with your blender hand. Later we’ll content ourselves with the fact it’s never a bad thing to teach someone more about the uterus and its non-minivan-like qualities. We’re helpers.