Kristen Johnston Flips Out on Octomom After Her 800 Kids Delay Plane

July 11th, 2011 // 82 Comments

“Oh, no, they love riding with the luggage. It’s just like that time we took the bus, kids! Yay!”

After inexplicably appearing on The Today Show Friday morning, Octomom and her brood had to somehow get back to California, so being the cheap-asses that they are, NBC booked them all on a commercial flight – business class – where they managed to delay the plane for two hours. Fortunately, Kristen Johnston: Celebrity, was onboard and took the opportunity to flip the fuck out before storming off the plane which magically reversed time and set everything back on schedule. Except not really. TMZ reports:

The crying babies annoyed the “3rd Rock from the Sun” star so much, she marched over to Nadya and told her keep it down.
Nadya’s rep tells TMZ Nadya fired back, “How would you like me to keep eight 2-year-olds quiet?” To which Kristen allegedly responded, “Get more help!”
The rep says Nadya shouted back, “Why don’t you grow a baby and get a life!”
Eventually Kristen returned to her seat, but according to Nadya’s rep … Kristen got off the plane and never returned.

Look, not to defend Octomom here because she’s partially to blame for using her uterus as a goddamn petri dish, but if NBC wants to fly her out for ratings, the least they can do is charter a freight plane to ship her family in, or at bare minimum, buy up first class because simple math dictates 14 kids on a plane is worse than a terrorist making it to the fucking cockpit. On that same token, the airline should’ve shut this whole production down as soon as her melted face arrived at the gate, or at bare minimum warned the other passengers and offered them a seat on another flight. “Uh, yes, this is captain your speaking. As you may have noticed by the children tumbling out of your overhead compartments, Octomom is onboard, so we’d like to offer everyone who didn’t come out of her vagina a complimentary seat on a later flight to prevent any attempts to exit the cabin at 30,000 feet. After me, of course, ahahahaha! But, no, really, there’s only one chute.”

Photos: INFdaily, Splash News


  1. I call bullshit. Crying kids don’t delay push-back. People not in their seats do, but not crying kids.

    That being said, buy an iPod and a book, Johnston. Or don’t fly commercial.

    • Just a California Guy

      Why did they let her on a plane back to California? Send this bitch and her bastards to some Middle East Hell Hole. They will fit right in.

      Kids should be Banned from First Class.

    • There’s some poetic license being taken with the headline…obviously Octomom’s kids didn’t delay the plane, they just made the delay…and assumedly the entire flight, completely unbearable.

      As to “don’t fly commercial”…I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect the entire world to avoid flying commercial because one person doesn’t give a fuck about anyone else.

    • Johnson lives in CA, as do I. Since this bitch was already on state disability payments on OUR dime when she got impregnanted with her second litter at Kaiser Permanente – also on OUR dime – and is STILL on OUR dime since she receives food stamps and disability for the defective kids we paid for her to conceive, I think giving Octomom some lip about her out-of-control uterine droppings and then leaving the plane was remarkably restrained on Johnson’s part.

      IMO every single CA taxpayer should be entitled to deliver at least one bitchslap and an optional kick to the cervix. We fucking paid for the privilege.

    • Blech

      FUCK youuu, it had to be said. How about people stop fucking procreating like it’s a goddamn sport, and then wash their fucking hands of responsibility?

      This is complete and utter bullshit. Johnston should have chanced it and punched Octo’s nose off for being an inconsiderate mommy-bitch.

      Tiny kids should be banned from flying. No one under fucking five.

      Or how about flying in a plane devoted to JUST families? Push for this to happen. This way you can fly with as many toddlers and babies as you want, watch as many Disney movies as you want, eat as much mac-and-cheese as you want.

      Seems Johnston, who is like 6-foot-fucking-9, was obviously the only human with the balls to call Toxo out on her shit. I would have done the same.

  2. wow kristen johnston’s one brow ring from being fergie

  3. TomFrank

    She flew with Captain Your? Luck-y!

  4. HRO

    “we’d like to offer everyone who didn’t come out of her vagina a complimentary seat on a later flight to prevent any attempts to exit the cabin at 30,000 feet. After me, of course, ahahahaha! But, no, really, there’s only one chute.””

    Wow. That was amazing. Nice work.

  5. ack

    Octo’s a sad story these days because she just comes out and stays, bluntly, that she can’t handle having 8 babies and it seems like caring for zoo animals to her at this point. Those kids are completely screwed.

    • j

      and complains about being broke and having an overdrawn checking account….yet has a “rep”. Interesting, I believe a study in ones hierarchy of needs is in order.

  6. Frank Burns

    Heh, she looks like the ghost of Tiny Tim.

  7. Octomom Nadya Suleman Kristen Johnston Plane Fight
    Commented on this photo:

    The older children look like their soul has been sucked out of their eyes…..

  8. That Bastard Tony

    Memo to anyone who travels frequently and has experience the horror of unruly children: an investment in Bose’s $300 noise-cancelling headphones is critical.

    • you hear cleaners found a stun gun on a jet blue plane over the weekend?
      not hinting at anything, just sayin.

    • General Disarray

      But a few little bottles of rum will only cost about $30 :)

    • Obviously someone has never used Bose’s $300 noise-canceling headphones. They don’t eliminate noise, they mask background noise…things like voices and BABIES CRYING are even MORE clear.

    • kimmykimkim

      Shit, for THAT flight, I’d knock back a whole four bar with some vodka. Works every time.

      • Carrie

        I was once on an international plane with a screaming Dutch 2 year old girl in the next seat. My flight attendant never let my drink get empty because I think she realized I was going to strangle the child and the parent. Hooray for international flights and free booze!

    • That Bastard Tony

      As a non-drinker, I was always under the impression that the alcohol would cause someone to slap the shit out of an annoying child on a plane… or at least loosen your tongue and your inhibitions enough to say something extremely inappropriate to both the children and their mother.

      @Smacky, I have a pair of those headphones and used them successfully on a 5 hour train ride where a toddler decided to act out for the first couple of hours much to everyone’s delight. Thanks to that investment, I was able to drown that little bastard out while watching Predators on the ride home. As long as you have batteries, they work.

    • Savalas

      Wait, so magic death rays come out of the Bose, destroying all nearby children under the age of 5?

      I’m going to have to get a pair of these things…

  9. Any Guy

    human garbage. the only hope those kids have is to be taken away and given to the circus. this bitch needs a drano douche. loser of the lowest magnitude. wow.

  10. JC

    Security had to delay the flight so they could make sure Octomom’s uterus canon was unloaded and properly secured.

  11. General Disarray

    Goddamn that woman is hideous. She looks like Herman Munster with a weave.

  12. Lemmiwinks

    Too bad it wasn’t Kirstie instead of Kristen, she could have solved that problem by eating the kids.

  13. Octomom Nadya Suleman Kristen Johnston Plane Fight
    Commented on this photo:

    Im a fairly frequent flyer, about three trips a month, and nothing drives me out of my mind like screaming kids. If they scream and kick the back of my seat then it’s bonus time.

    I have yet to figure out a way to ask the parent to keep their kid from kicking my seat without getting an eat shit and die look in return.

  14. Octomom Nadya Suleman Kristen Johnston Plane Fight
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, that’s a shame. At least she’s aged better than Jan Hooks (so far).

  15. Octomom’s PR rep is claiming mechanical difficulties caused the delay, but the fact that she has a PR rep yet is making two of her older kids and a “friend” wrangle the younger litter by themselves makes me want to put her in an undersized kennel and put in her in the hold – you know, the one where the oxygen sometimes turns off.

    Soooo…how’s that “going back to school and getting a Master’s Degree so I can support everyone” thing workin’ out for ya, Nadya?

    • Blech

      Everyone on that plane other than Nadya should have flat out walked out of that plane and demanded to be seated on another. THAT would have been the right thing to do.

      NO ONE would ever ask to be seated next to the Queen of Assholiness.

  16. JR

    Hey, guys, Kristen Stewart has it quite hard. She will be forever known as the she-male from Third Rock from the Sun and now this? I’m surprised she hasn’t gone on a freeway AK-47 rampage by now.

  17. I’ve always loved Kristen Johnston (even if Fish did butcher her name). I love her even more now.

  18. Octomom Nadya Suleman Kristen Johnston Plane Fight
    Commented on this photo:

    Who the fuck let Richard Ramirez out?

  19. deadpool2099

    Celebrity tv has-beens-ain’t-never-gonna-be-agains are a whiny bunch of grunt gunts. Anyone who harasses a mom ( even Octo) needs to be horse whipped. I fly with kids all the time and yes they get on peoples nerves but I don’t give a fuck. I ain’t never gonna see those poozers again in my life so what the fuck. One bitch told me to control my kids I told her to control her vag odor. I hate rude fucks.

    • XD

      Yeah…you must be one of those mothers who lets her crotchfruit run amok and blames everyone else for not understanding your “precious snowflake.”

    • Way to show how unbelievably selfish you are.

      “I ain’t never gonna see those poozers again in my life so what the fuck.”

      Really? Remind to piss in your face if I ever see you. I’ll never see you again, so it’s okay, right?

      • BE

        Granted, little ones don’t always behave the way you want them to. However, I’ve been around too many children behaving badly while the parents sit there pretending to be completely oblivious to their brats.

        And, it’s exactly your attitude that makes people hate kids in public – even when they’re well behaved. We’re just waiting for the time bomb to go off.

        It may take a village to raise a child but that does not imply we are obligated to discipline the brat for yo when you are too lazy to get off your butt and discipline your child(ren).

        And, I’m sick of people explaining to their monster children that it’s the disapproving adults problem when they behave terribly (sometimes in front of us).

        Do us a favor and grow up before your brats do…

    • sweetie_pie

      You sound like a MORMON mom except for the fucks. So good for you having awful children, keep up the good work.

    • justwow

      And I assume by “rude fucks” you are also referring to yourself and your brood.

    • kimmykimkim

      I hate rude fucks, too! Especially the ones who can’t control their own children or should I say choose not to control them. Unless you have 14 kids (which I wouldn’t doubt considering how educated you seem to be) then control those little fuckers or one day, somebody will do it for you.

    • Carrie

      Moms like this and their children=best birth control EVER.

      • Blech

        Every time I see angry or overwhelmed or entitled-asshole moms, I feel really really lucky I don’t fucking have kids. I also feel really lucky that I don’t have to socialize with any of these people who believe procreating is a “miracle”.

    • Blech

      deadpool, you’d better hope we never sit near each other on a plane. I will eat so much crap on it, just for the pleasure of farting all around you and making you gag.

    • ghost

      Oh, sure. Because nobody else on the flight paid for a ticket. Keep your goddamn kids under control. Motherhood doesn’t give you the divine right to burden the rest of us with them, you cunt.

    • Just a California Guy

      Men this is why you don’t ever date single moms.
      BTW, accidentally tripping and spilling a drink on a little bastard running around like crazy settles them right down.
      Opps, I am so sorry, let me go get you a towel :-)’

  20. Isn’t this chick broke and on welfare? Instead giving her 15 cross-country business class tickets at about $3,000 a pop, they should have just given her the $45,000 and a one week rental on a U-haul.

  21. Bubbagump

    I guess no one told Kristen that the Octomom used her vagina as a clown car.

  22. Octomom Nadya Suleman Kristen Johnston Plane Fight
    Commented on this photo:

    Throw a few scars on the left side of her face and she’s Harvey Dent.

  23. dan

    The real question… Why is Kristen at a foot fetish lounge carpet event in close toed shoes?

  24. Parker

    No, the real question is why can Kristen only afford to fly business class?

    • Jennifomdabloc

      Actually, I read elsewhere that Kristen came from first class to tell Octomom to keep her kids quiet. Then after the confrontation, she went back to her seat but then got off the plane altogether.

  25. kimmykimkim

    Haha! Oh please! As if the ugly chick from 3rd Rock has anywhere to be! Unless she’s living in 1996 or something.

    • Blech

      kimmy, I bet you’re super-hot. Why not post a picture on here and allow us to rate you?

      I really hope you’re hot, because your personality is serious shit.

  26. Hey, Fish, just a head’s up. You misspelled Kristen Johnston’s tag (not the text of the tag, but the link address. You left out the “t”).

  27. Can

    I guarantee she was ignoring those kids while she tossed back some Valium and watched old J&K+8 eps, dreaming of better days. I bet she even showed the oldest how to “hypothetically” open the emergency exit door hoping to put all those little assholes out of their misery.

  28. Can

    She’s aging in dog years like the president. Mostly because a third world country fell out of her vagina.

  29. I couple of glasses of champagne and I’m fine

  30. JPC

    Can’t believe no one else has commented on OctoCunt’s response

    “Why don’t you grow a baby and get a life?”

    Grow a baby? Seriously, this woman needs a bullet to the head.

  31. Octomom Nadya Suleman Kristen Johnston Plane Fight
    Commented on this photo:

    theres always a fat muslim lady in the background saying it all.

  32. What a big pain in the ass.

  33. Octomom Nadya Suleman Kristen Johnston Plane Fight
    Commented on this photo:

    Wonk-eyed troll doll

  34. Octomom Nadya Suleman Kristen Johnston Plane Fight
    Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    oh goodness the kid has a harelip ;-(

  35. Allison Wunderlan

    Geez, she’s two tints of green away from being the Incredible Hulk.

  36. Holly

    Where is the Henkel duck tape and the chloroform when you need them?

  37. Octomom Nadya Suleman Kristen Johnston Plane Fight
    Commented on this photo:

    poor family. somebody needs to help least the kids…

  38. Paladin

    1. Small children never, ever belong in any class except coach.

    2. Bitching at a stressed out mom is not the best way to get her children to quiet down, even if said mom is an annoying cunt that everyone hates.

  39. Octomom Nadya Suleman Kristen Johnston Plane Fight
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks so stressed and unhappy. There’s crazy in those eyes. Regardless of what I think about her as a person and all the dumb mistakes she’s made and continues to make, I can’t help but feel bad for her just on a basic human level. She is clearly going to snap.

  40. Tommy

    Kristen Johnson is the ugliest damn woman I’ve ever seen.

Leave A Comment