Octomom Finally Did Porn To Keep Her House

March 27th, 2012 // 54 Comments
Octomom's Lesbian Party
Octomom
That's One Way Not To Get Pregnant Again Read More »

When Octomom fired 14 children out of her vagina, she just assume the TV money would come rolling in and she could simply pay an army of nannies to raise her uterus droppings army she only squeezed out to get all that TV money. Except Octomom failed to factor in America’s amazing capacity to not give a shit, and so she’s been struggling to makes ends meet which is weird because it’s not like she had a doctor illegally inject her with a million babies she can’t afford. Long story short, she’s finally resorted to posing naked now, but only for overseas magazines (above) that will pay just barely enough to get by. TMZ reports:

Sources tell TMZ … Octo got $10,000 for the shoot, which is what she needs to rent a new place.
Octo is being very up front now about some misgivings about having 14 kids, saying, “I’m doing that (posing nude) because I need to feed my kids. I need to pay the bills. And I’m still very cognizant of the repercussions of my choices.”

In Octomom’s defense, she is very cognizant of the repercussions of her actions, and I can safely say that because she’s on record saying she hates her kids. That said, I like how she turned down Vivid’s $1 million offer to star in a sex tape only to find herself flashing her breasts to Europeans for a fraction of that amount. Which says to me her vagina is so destroyed it looks and talks like Oscar the Grouch now and would just keeping yelling, “Enough with the dicks already!” the whole time. The science is with me.

NOTE: In the nudie magazine, Octomom actually claims her body “pinged back into shape like a rubber band” which is an incredible statement to make when your torso clearly looks like Bethenny Frankel’s face. Seriously, it takes Octo-balls.

Photos: Closer, Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. That Vag has got to be one ugly mess at this point. I’m sure it looks 100x worse than that midsection. But she can say she resembles Sharon Stone; only in the midsection though.

  2. Dick Hell

    Her fucking agent was supposed to get her a role in a snuff film, dammit!

  3. Someone needs to put her in touch with Hayden Panettiere’s mom. 14 of those kids working will clear up all her money problems.

    • Dick Hell

      If that doesn’t work out Amanda Seyfried can recommend a terrific taxidermist who gives discounts on large orders.

  4. Lucion

    There goes my lunch.

  5. Roast beef. I’m guessing her vag looks like roast beef.
    Anyone down for some Arby’s?

  6. Octomom Nude Closer
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d trot out that old chestnut “I just threw up in my mouth a little”, but I don’t like to lie.

    I just threw up on my desk…a LOT.

  7. Blech

    If the Gods weren’t so displeased by Madame Untreatable-Societal-Infection, I’d suggest sacricing her…

  8. Bonky

    This is how it starts. Simple nude shots, then she will do something with “toys”, then soft core with someone, then hard core, then ganbangs and “weird stuff” and finally something with a dog or horse.

    Octomom, you’re on your way !

    • “finally something with a dog or horse. ”

      First time through, I read that as “house”

      Which at first didn’t make any sense, but I’m sure you could fit a chimney inside that vag.

  9. it’s not porn until Vivid starts promoting its new “Hot Dog in the Hallway” series.

  10. Dude of Dudes

    Well they cant go with 2 dicks in the pink and one in the stink cause really, no one’s going to be impressed by that.

  11. EricLr

    I’m just wondering who the lucky guy in her life is.

  12. Cock Dr

    I could almost feel sorry for this cow, what with that huge, burgeoning mental illness of hers, but then I recall that the CA taxpapyers are likely footing most of the day to day bills for her litter of fucked up fetuses. That evaporates any sympathy very quickly.

    • As a CA taxpayer, thank you for that. I have another weight loss plan for her that’ll rid her of more unsightly flesh and bring her total nearer to 11 stone – the human head weighs around 12 pounds, right?

  13. rican

    That big “C” on the cover must be a typo

  14. El Jefe

    I really wish I did not see this today.

  15. If I understand this article correctly, it says this woman actually knows what the phrase “…cognizant of the repercussions of my choices…” means? Oh come on now. I just spewed coffee all over myself.

  16. If that woman’s eyes were any deader, they would have an odor.

  17. pfused

    The vag probably looks like a peice of chewed up bubble gum by this point

  18. YoMamma

    Yeah, her body just pinged back. She has clearly had the Kate (plus 8) tummy tuck – you can tell by the fake keyhole belly button and the granny panties covering the c-section scar.

    On the plus side, I’d assume her vag is pretty normal since there’s no way she pushed those kids out of it.

  19. joho777

    Don’t forget to mention that when she last got a gift of money for her ren,t she used it for plastic surgery and to get breast implants.

    Why doesn’t she get a job to pay her bills? The question people have been asking for years!

  20. Octomom
    Jackie
    Commented on this photo:

    Why aren’t they all the same race?

  21. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    We’re gonna need a bigger goat

  22. Well, I know what I’m torrenting tonight.

  23. Blech

    “I love fools’ experiments. I am always making them.” – Charles Darwin

  24. Notanidiot

    Closer isn’t a porn mag, it’s a gossip mag. Factual difference.

  25. Octomom
    Commented on this photo:

    what happened to the f*** grapes, they were begining to intrigue me.

  26. Nadia

    I think that’s Kris Jenner and Kendall in the upper right corner…

  27. sheelly

    The headline for this story (on the magazine) is hilarious because the only way she lost weight was from all the heavy plastic surgery she’s had.

  28. Octomom
    slj104
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, and they’re all boys as it appears. So 10-15 years down the road when there’s an outbreak in serial killers, we’ll know who they are…..we’ll know.

  29. Mike

    There’s a reason why Howard Stern is pro-abortion. If I ever have kids, it”s gonna be ONE only. She’s broke because she has all those kids. She needs to go the fuck away with Kate Gosselin.

  30. Bob Kanush

    I find her choices to be bad and don’t understand her, but what I find worse are most of the comments made on this forum by what appear to be a legion of hateful jerks. She has way too many children, but I hope some of you don’t have any if they are going to turn out to be hate spewing little cretons like you.

  31. Anon

    This bitch had 14 kids…what’s the Kardashians excuse for being as fat as they are?

  32. Octomom Nude Closer
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    “And I didn’t even need a tummy tuck (suck it Kate Gosslin)!!

  33. Blech

    Fish, I just want to thank you for not posting a gallery of her pale balloon ass like TMZ did.

  34. Maureen

    She states no one will touch her body. Referring to porno movie offers. She realizes that not even a well endowed male could fill the Grand canyon.

  35. Octomom
    cathy
    Commented on this photo:

    when these kids grow up they are going to see how the good old united state treated them. the kids will see how TV, TMZ, ALL YOU GUYS TREAT THEM & WHAT YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THE KIDS. I KNOW THEY ARE PICK ON @ SCHOOL.
    SHAME ON YOU BIG HIGH POWERFUL PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  36. Octomom
    Commented on this photo:

    I really feel sorry for Octomom’s oldest daughter. She will probably want to be sterilized someday.

  37. Octomom
    Paladin
    Commented on this photo:

    The picture with the grapes looks so fake. And why is one of her kids a ginger? Can that creepy shit just happen randomly? o_O

Leave A Comment