Octomom Filed For Bankruptcy, Will Now Do Porn

May 1st, 2012 // 79 Comments
The Origin Story
Octomom Hates Babies Children Animals
Octomom Plants The Seed Of Hatred That Dooms Us All Read More »

Posted by Photo Boy

Octomom famously said she’d never do porn. Then she almost lost her house, so she of course posed topless for a European magazine because that doesn’t count. But since she only got paid a fraction of the million she was offered to do a hardcore scene, she’s now right back where she started, only this time she actually filed for bankruptcy. The funny thing about the change in bankruptcy law is that you still have to pay your debts, so now America will get to watch her masturbate, which I’m assuming requires heavy equipment and spotters. TMZ reports:

As for how much she’ll make, it’s hush hush, except we’re told, “It’s a lot more than the $10,000 she made for posing topless.”

Yes, let’s keep that amount a secret. Wouldn’t want the state of California finding out about any additional income. That might actually pull the plug on the money she gets to feed the 14 kids that were supposed to be the golden eggs that would allow her to bask in the glory and fame of reality wealth. Sadly, it now seems inevitable that these kids will eventually use the internet to recount their creation and subsequent deranged upbringing, thus forming a roving band of sociopathic killers from which there is no escape.

OCTOKID 1: *sharpens knife* Mom said we’d be rich one day.
OCTOKID 2: *swings mace* She said we’d go to college, all of us.
OCTOKID 3: *puts on brass knucles* We should have known better.
OCTOKID 4: *loads gun* Should we really kill everyone?
OCTOKID 1: This one shows weakness!
OCTOKID 2 & 3: (In unison) ATTACK!!

Photo: INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Deacon Jones

    I’m a pervert. I admit it.

    I’ve jerked off to “shit that will turn you white!”

    But never, in a million years, would I watch this, this “thing” on film. It takes a special, twisted fuck to even entertain the idea.

    • Looking at that spread shot would definitely be like looking into the jaws of hell. Take it from one who knows…

    • Bonky

      I can’t imagine blowing a load in that mouth. All the newer porn videos has the chick drop to her knees and open their yap like a garbage can, but with a face like that its probably going to be a lot harder to get money shots in her videos.

  2. That truly is a double-bagger face.

    • kimmykimkim

      No kidding, it is soooo fucking bad! And she fucked it up herself. Fuckin paid someone for that!

  3. Octomom Bancruptcy Masturbation Porn
    Flavia
    Commented on this photo:

    que asco la cara de esta mujer! que no saben estas chicas que tocarse la cara las deja peor que antes?!!

  4. Jack Ketch

    She’s a fucking headcase; we’ve established that, right ?? A certifiable NUT-JOB. Nexxxttt ….

  5. Crabby Old Guy

    It has to be said. I would never pay to watch her in a porn video. But I would pay to see her get off of her dead ass, actually get a job and head off to work every day to help support the 14 kids that she had to have like they were so many collectable stuffed animals to line her shelves.

    • it had to be said

      Dude, WTF? Don’t bogart my screen name and then not even say anything funny.

    • EricLr

      I’m generally not a big death penalty fan, but I think I would pay to see the “doctor” that let this crazy bitch have 14 kids strung up from a lamppost, old west style.

  6. Somewhere out there is someone who is looking forward to this, and who has probably been hoping it might happen.

    An explanation of how that is possible within the confines of a human mind which remembers to feed itself and is allowed to drive and vote would be interesting to read.

  7. The Supermaiesiophiliac

    Its a dream come true!

  8. Octomom Bancruptcy Masturbation Porn
    nick
    Commented on this photo:

    Jacking off to 2 Girls 1 Cup, or this?
    I don’t know about you, but I’m taking the two girls!

  9. cc

    This story is all wrong…she’s actually being paid NOT to do porn by a group of people don’t want America to slip any further into a moral abyss.

  10. Dramatic Puddle

    Wow. The thought that anyone would watch this chick touch herself grosses me out in ways I never imagined I could be grossed out.

  11. Blech

    Will this be the first porn film, then, to be entitled “Paperbag Face”? Because I can’t imagine anyone stomaching this face without a paper bag on it. And will she suffocate at the end? Because lots of people would pay for that.

  12. Cock Dr

    I would never watch, as the viewing would probably turn me off of sex for a month or 2, but I do hope that she’s put into the roughest gang bang script imaginable.
    Men of Porn: make that kooky bitch look like her head’s been dunked into a vat of doughnut icing. Hate-fuck her for all of America!

  13. Blech

    Not that I should give a shit, but which chapter did she file?

    • Whatever

      Chapter 7, according to TMZ. Jiiiises, finals are destroying my brain. The knowledge I am accumulating… Now I feel a strong need to find out what it actually means… Darn.

  14. Dude of Dudes

    Maybe its the capitalist in me but isnt this a golden opportunity for quad penetration without touching the sides?

  15. Bonky

    It’s the natural progression of these things. It usually goes
    like this:

    1st topless photos
    2nd fully nude
    3rd soft core, masturbation
    4th hard core, single or dp
    5th ganbang, bukakke
    6th animals
    7th suicide

  16. Blech

    Chapter 7. I love you, Photo Boy. But this bitch is not responsible for any debts.

    God bless America.

  17. misterfister

    Throw a wheelchair in there and Russell Brand would be interested. I wouldn’t be unless she was being “trained” by the special olympics.

  18. What is she going to use for a dildo? A jackhammer? Nah, too small.

  19. Imitation Crab

    Oh thank gawd… I needed a new effective diet plan and this will absolutely make me lose my appetite and yak.

  20. It’s Mr. Kotter with tits.

  21. AAPL made me rich!

    All of which are American dreams.

  22. Brooke

    I am curious to see what a vagina that’s birthed 14 kids looks like, from a purely scientific point of view, but I’m afraid even by clicking a preview on YouPorn that it would give the porn industry the impression that she can sell ad space and that a sequel should be made. I think she should just sell the kids to a zoo, where they’d be better taken care of anyway.

  23. Porn, my ass – she should check out the snuff film industry and see what they’re offering. I think I speak for all America when I say that we’ll all chip in a little something to sweeten the deal.

  24. Octomom Bancruptcy Masturbation Porn
    chmod
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d rather go to the lemon party.

  25. Archie Leach

    Someone think of the children!

  26. Octomom Bancruptcy Masturbation Porn
    Biff59
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally, a porn actress who can break the 17-dicks-vaginally-at-a-time milestone.

  27. MoJoTee

    With modern ED drugs today they could cast her in a Triple/Quad-Pen scene to make super big money – and no strain for her: I’d be effortless!

  28. dooood

    my first thoughts were, wtf is wrong with people? you can trick a beautiful teenager to do filthy hardcore stuff on camera for a couple hundred bucks if not for free just by telling her this will help her get job offers.
    then it occurred to me, IT’S A TRAP!!
    she’s just using this as a ruse to get pregnant again so she can add to her already starving sesame street army.

    so of course the best ideas we can come up with are exploitation and enabling this loon even further. way to go california.

    • First off, she can’t get pregnant the “normal” way, which is why she had in-vitro fertilization in the furst place – that’s what got her the first litter of 6. It was the embryos left over from that first procedure that were implanted, and 8 of ‘em took. There are no more left.
      Secondly, if I were boning this chick on camera, I’d be wearing at least 3 rubbers to keep from catching the crazy, let alone herpes and other shit.
      Thirdly, it’s called a money shot for a reason.

  29. Octomom Bancruptcy Masturbation Porn
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    I put all my money to the Mexican!

  30. Kirk

    Well, nothing wrong with that. Good for her for finding a way to earn some money. Plenty of guys will watch ugly gals in porn. It is a better career choice than becoming a republican congress person!

  31. anonym

    she would be among the ugliest girls in porn

  32. anonym

    the sad thing is, she will still go bankrupt no matter how much she makes.
    You just can’t put money into her hands.
    her $500 haircuts alone would bankrupt her over and over.

  33. Rico Jones

    This porn company is hiring her just for the freak show aspect. They know she is gross but also know enough people will be curious to see what she looks like fucking.

    The funnier thing would have been if the porn company pulled the offer after she filed for bankruptcy just to be pricks.

  34. ser livre

    Did anyone notice how her so called values fluctuate depending on how much money this whore needs to keep her rats nest of hair straight? First she wouldn’t do porn, but when she wanted money she posed nude and said it was ok. Now she says masturbation doesn’t count either. When that money is gone towards hair cuts and fake tons she’ll say getting banged by a girl doesn’t count cuz there’s no Dick involved which will be followed shortly after by a full fledged gang bang cuz maybe she loves the guys who knows. I feel bad for her poor pantless children. Her values depend on the amount of haircuts and other useless shit she wants and that’s it. Pathetic and nasty. Spay her ass like a cat so we don’t have to keep supporting her

  35. Sliver

    You all knew it was only a matter of time.

  36. Sliver

    Octo-Vag: Clown Car Gangbang I and II.

  37. I love how Spanish speakers are showing up on this thread on the week that Fish is away. LOVE. Photo Boy is a hot latino magnet…

    http://cashado.com/

  38. Bob Smith

    As Don King, would say, “Only in America!”

  39. I’ll watch this once for the experience and never again. Just like the Paris Hilton/ Kim Kardashian sex tapes were not worth repeat viewing or paying for.

  40. Octomom Bancruptcy Masturbation Porn
    ROXANNE
    Commented on this photo:

    I saw a horse face just like that on the rece track!

  41. Octomom Bancruptcy Masturbation Porn
    ROXANNE
    Commented on this photo:

    Get away that’s my pole! Well the guys sent me up here to get you off the stage they can’t take any more ugly tonight Octo!

  42. Octomom Bancruptcy Masturbation Porn
    Roth
    Commented on this photo:

    wow, so much for the bitterness. Live and let live, I guess she’s had enough problems to deal with; why keep punching her? Whomever is free of sin….cast the first stone………….

  43. Octomom Bancruptcy Masturbation Porn
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, lots of jealousy in here! What about live and let others live; she must have plenty of problems in her life to deal with. She’s just doing what everyone is doing LIVING HER OWN LIFE!!!!

Leave A Comment