Octomom Thinks You’ll Buy Her A House Now

July 30th, 2012 // 70 Comments
No More Welfare
Octomom Stripper
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When we last left Octomom, she was bragging about stripping and porning her way off welfare as if it’s some grand accomplishment that she’s finally feeding and clothing the 14 kids she forced science to poop out of her. Except now she’s set up a GoFundMe account begging random strangers to buy her a house that’s somehow at $1,000, so knock that shit off whoever’s doing that. You’ll just make her have more kids. TMZ reports:

Sources close to Octo tell TMZ she’s been given two weeks to move out, but the problem is she doesn’t have enough cash to buy a house of her own … especially one that can fit her giant brood.
Octo’s solution … set up a page on a website called GoFundMe.com, where her fans can send her money through the internet! All she’s asking for is a cool $150k to get started.

So somebody had a meeting with porn producers that ended with, “Turns out there actually is something men won’t masturbate to. Who knew?” On that note, I make a lot of jokes at her expense, so I actually tried to chip in for Octo’s house, but it turns out GoFundMe won’t let me put “Sell your kids into slavery and give them a chance at life, you litter-birthing, duck-faced shitwagon,” in the Amount of Donation field. Dodd-Frank, motherfuckers! (I don’t actually know what Dodd-Frank does, it just seemed like the right thing to yell here.)

Photos: INFdaily

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  1. Johnny P!

    Kim Kardashian should put up the money to have to have her and Tan-Mom be roomies in a nice big house. Paris Hilton could be the absentee landlord. Snookie and JWow could babysit when necessary, and Lindsay Lohan could use the stroller-strewn driveway as a practice obstacle-course.
    The reality-show people would be all over it, and it could be a win-win for everyone involved.
    Until Tan-Mom utters: “Your kids seem a little pale and pasty. Just remember to rub sage and basil on ‘em before putting ‘em in the rotisserie”…

    • Lord Invader

      ” Paris Hilton could be the absentee landlord. ”
      A pair of her shoes would do nicely. “There was an old woman….”

  2. More like GoFuckYourself, AMIRIGHT???

  3. Sven Golly

    Three’s Company redux, starring Octomom, Tan Mom & James Holmes. Michael Lohan can play the landlord.

  4. kimmykimkim

    Why can’t she just take up residence in her own uterus?

    • Johnny P!

      Too spacious. It’d take a fleet of cleaning staff to maintain it, and besides… who wants to live in a place with an echo?

    • Abby Normal

      The city stuck an eviction notice on that uterine clown car too.

      • Matt Lauer

        I like the phrase “uterine clown car” so much I named my dog that. He already had a name but he’ll get used to it.

  5. Octomom Cleavage Tank Top Celebrity Pillow Fight
    Commented on this photo:

    Octokid#13: “mommy, I want to go back and live in the really big house with the pool”

    Octomom: “honey, that was mommy’s uterus”

  6. alex

    There’s just something strange about her face. Kind of the same weirdness that JWow has…there’s just something….wrong. Maybe its something out of place? Jwow’s eyes are not even in terms of height. But Octomom has some kind of strange, extra large facial features thing going on…reminds me a little of the clown-face Anne Hathaway has developed. Strange times indeed.

  7. MrsB

    Octomom would do better showing the world her humanitarian efforts than her down-and-out, sleazy lifestyle efforts to make money in the most debasing way she can come up with. What happened to her plans to return to college for her degree? Has she run out of financial aid money already?

  8. booya

    Why? She should be pulling in plenty of cash from ads with all that forehead for rent.

  9. AlyLaff1002

    WHY does this woman still have custody of her children when it’s so obvious that none of the money she “makes” goes towards the actual well being of her kids!?

    • Carla

      EXACTLY what pisses me off the most — besides CA taxpayers (I’m one, lucky fucking me) footing her bill for her bogus work comp claim AND for the million-dollar hospital bill, and of course, the welfare. No sympathy for this warped narcissistic hag.

    • Geenie

      Because the kids aren’t in IMMINENT risk of death, her neglect of them is considered to be a “parenting choice.”

  10. logan

    Everytime I look at a photo of this human (?) my blood boils. Does she actually have fans? For what? This woman just gets more vile, disgusting, immoral, dishontest, repulsive, offensive and foul.

  11. sullivan

    I’d donate money to have her spayed…

  12. Octomom Cleavage Tank Top Celebrity Pillow Fight
    Commented on this photo:

    This lady’s face is looks like every single Rage Comic face, rolled up into one perplexing mess.

  13. Ugh

    “I hate my babies. Buy me a house!”

  14. McClownerton

    She should troll over to the sears dumpster come nightfall and build herself a dream house out of duct tape and the discarded cardboard from the appliances of people who work for their homes.

  15. Someone call Cher. We’ve finally found a lead for the all-female remake of “Mask”.

  16. MichelleQ

    Isn’t this her second (or third) foreclosure? Why does she need to buy a house (again) that she can’t afford (again)? I’m pretty sure that you aren’t going to be able to get a mortgage with credit like that. Sounds like Octo is shilling for more plastic surgery and brazilian blowout money…

  17. mel

    she is an absolute monstrosity. if you find her remotely attractive, you are a fucking blind mouse. i went to that site out of curiosity. there are people who are actually donating to canyon cunt there! the world is filled with dangerously retarded cornwagons and monkey rapists who are vacuums of decency and social contribution.

  18. Blech

    This bitch is a perfect candidate for a very special episode of “Dog Whisperer” that goes so horribly wrong she needs to be put down.

  19. O'chunt

    “litter-birthing, duck-faced shitwagon” made my day. Thank you Fish (?).

  20. Octomom Cleavage Tank Top Celebrity Pillow Fight
    Blech
    Commented on this photo:

    Man. Hands.

  21. Veronika Larsson

    As narcissistic, entitled, and arrogant as a Wall Street banker.

    But yes, she’ll probably get a truckload of money. There’s no reported “fool shortage”–we seem to have a bottomless supply.

  22. Why doesn’t she just drop the bullshit and pusue a full time career as a porn star? There’s good money there. Her masturbation tape wasn’t bad at all.

  23. slappymagoo

    “Why do people keep asking me if I’ve ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?”

  24. Octomom Cleavage Tank Top Celebrity Pillow Fight
    Gonads
    Commented on this photo:

    Earthworm…

  25. anonym

    bitch needs to rent a house like everyone else, and learn how to spend and earn money wisely.

  26. Minky Wail

    This is why you don’t go to “fertility clinic” with a US Dept of Fish and Wildlife sign on the door.

  27. Brooke

    She will continue to get funding because people feel sorry for those kids. The guy who donated $500 seems to not particularly like her, but feels the kids deserve more out of life. And I agree; if this woman can’t buy a home she can’t keep the kids, and DHS will come in and take those kids into foster care where they might get to eat at a table or poop in a bathroom…

  28. Fred Chilton

    Where do you get boobs with a built – in anti gravity lift like that ?

  29. ser livre

    Omg I just laughed until I had tears running down My face….did this crazy fame whore really use her porn picture on the gofundme website to ask for money for her kids house? Here’s a hint if its really for your kids sake why not a photo of them instead of a photo of you in hooker gear? No one wants to see her bulldog face

  30. Octomom Cleavage Tank Top Celebrity Pillow Fight
    Pig Nickels
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL, a peace sign from the woman that escalated the war on the uterus to unheard of levels. To quote another great American: “Mission Accomplished!”

  31. Octomom Cleavage Tank Top Celebrity Pillow Fight
    Pig Nickels
    Commented on this photo:

    Hi five for being a sloppy shit sandwich of a human being!

  32. Octomom Cleavage Tank Top Celebrity Pillow Fight
    Pig Nickels
    Commented on this photo:

    Sunlight does the beast no favors. It needs a new bridge to hide under.

  33. Octomom Cleavage Tank Top Celebrity Pillow Fight
    Pig Nickels
    Commented on this photo:

    And then I squeezed really hard and made this face, but little did I know the first seven had already fallen out.

  34. Octomom Cleavage Tank Top Celebrity Pillow Fight
    Pig Nickels
    Commented on this photo:

    In the back of every picture, Joe Jackson is sizing up the situation and thinking “How can I make some money off this dumb bitch?”

  35. Octomom Cleavage Tank Top Celebrity Pillow Fight
    Pig Nickels
    Commented on this photo:

    Oversized gloves for her hideous man hands.

  36. Octomom Cleavage Tank Top Celebrity Pillow Fight
    Pig Nickels
    Commented on this photo:

    Arrright, so the pillz are schtarting to werrrrk, butt I’m predddy shure this bitch on my leffft used to be a dude… Let’sh fuck him up!

  37. Octomom Cleavage Tank Top Celebrity Pillow Fight
    Deryn
    Commented on this photo:

    She always wows ‘em in King of Prussia with her impersonation of a horse chewing a baby carrot.

  38. Pippy Longcockings

    Is it wrong that I’d totally doggie nail OctoWhore in both holes?

  39. Octomom Cleavage Tank Top Celebrity Pillow Fight
    Deryn
    Commented on this photo:

    If you corrected her eyebrows, updated her hair to cover that giant forehead and not look so stringy all the time, gave her better eye makeup, made her work out, tried to pretend (like she does) that she doesn’t have 14 kids, and somehow cut her vocal cords so she couldn’t wear you out with the constant baby-voiced yammering about her brilliance and her ability to overcome adversity … wait. I forgot what my point was.

  40. Octomom Cleavage Tank Top Celebrity Pillow Fight
    Deryn
    Commented on this photo:

    I visited the site to see who is donating what. It’s up to a little over $1,400 now. There are only 29 total donations, one of which is $500, which comes with this comment:

    “My father used to tell me that most problems will go away if you throw a little money at them. He also said it will only make them go away for a little while then the money is gone and the problems remain. That being said, the kids don’t travel out the birth canal, pop out and ask to pay for their parents choices. So, no hating or judging on the mother I’m just offering the kids about a day and a half of financial sanity. Here’s a thought. If you can’t do it for the kids, shut up and don’t.”

    I dunno, sounds like a plant. In the “seed money” way and the “this person has the sensibility of a” way. Anyway, being free to judge the mother would be the only way I’d give her anything, so I guess I’m out.

    I wonder how much those jeans cost. And that new-looking truck.

  41. Octomom Cleavage Tank Top Celebrity Pillow Fight
    mel
    Commented on this photo:

    fuck me, is her face ever ugly! aside from those deformed at birth and people who’ve somehow survived trying to blow their heads off with a shotgun, she is the ugliest person i’ve ever seen. i’ve been more sexually aroused by my own vomit.

  42. K what everyone is saying for comments are fucking halarious, im having a good laugh. thanks guys lol

  43. Octomom Cleavage Tank Top Celebrity Pillow Fight
    Pepper's Pot
    Commented on this photo:

    she kinda looks like the scary face from “The Ring” , with the mouth all sideways… fuck, i wish i knew how to put pics on here.

  44. Britney

    How about support a good cause for once instead of this sad pitty party! And I won’t sell my kid for fame http://www.gofundme.com/zachsmemorialbirthday

  45. Octomom Cleavage Tank Top Celebrity Pillow Fight
    Commented on this photo:

    Who would give this narcissistic moron cash?

  46. Jellybelly

    Octomom – the poster child for mental illness and plastic surgery gone wrong. 5150 the monstrosity.

  47. Octomom Cleavage Tank Top Celebrity Pillow Fight
    Diana
    Commented on this photo:

    U guys are stupid as fuck atleast she gave birth to 8 kids at once I give her props!! It’s her life let her live it how she fuckin wants too!

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