Octo-Mom: From the pole and into our hearts

March 25th, 2009 // 114 Comments

I’ve pretty much steered clear of the whole Octo-Mom fiasco, but this story involves stripping which, for the sake of journalistic integrity, I’m honor-bound to post about. The National Enquirer reports:

Nadya confessed to a close pal: “I had not even kissed a boy. But I entered a dance/lingerie contest in a club near my home. I danced and paraded in lingerie.
“Then, when I was 19, I went to a gentleman’s club and performed as a topless dancer. But I only did it one night. I quit when I found out I was expected to perform lap dances on the customers.”

Wow. Who’s stupid enough not to realize stripping involves lap dances? Oh, right, Octo-mom. Good thing those genes are being passed on – times eight 14. That said, I can only imagine how this story ended:

OCTO-MOM: Gee, stripping is hard. If only there’s an easier way to make money…
OCTO-UTERUS: Get me OUTTA HERE! I’ll talk! I’ll talk!

Photos: Splash News

  1. Captain_Insano

    For the good of her children, I hope this bitch dies.

  2. The One Who Knows

    Another money drain on our people.

  3. The One Who Knows

    Another money drain on our people.

  4. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Our tax dollars at work, Ladies and Gentlemen!

  5. Sid

    Good lord. She thinks she’s a celebrity. Look at how carefully she’s copied the attire. Just sad.

  6. Tracy

    So she really can afford $5 coffee & expensive makeup. I would seriously rethink if you are one of the people giving her money.

  7. NipTuck

    She is not right.

  8. JG

    Oh it’s only a matter of time before she gives in to the porn companies.

  9. Jrz

    Times 8? More like times 14.

    I hate this chick. I mean…I really don’t like her whatesoever.

  10. Have they hung the fertility doctor by his balls yet?

  11. Adam

    She is the number one reason I don’t watch the news anymore. Anything involving her is just blown completely out of proportion and it’s not even worth the few minutes of air time.

  12. Food Stamps

    #6: We’re all giving her money. She gets government aid, not to mention that 3 of her 6 other children have special needs who receive support courtesy of the taxpayers.
    Nice manicure to go with her Starbucks, by the way…

  13. LeonIncognito

    Yeah, just an F.Y.I., she has fourteen kids. Six prior to the octuplets.

  14. Ryan

    Can’t she at least drink gas station coffee? If she’s like my wife she gets like 15 add-ins and the cost skyrockets to $9.00

  15. This bitch needs to be committed to a mental institution. We are already taking care of her kids financially so at least let’s get them to foster parents and away from this head case!

  16. Ted

    “If she’s like my wife she gets like 15 add-ins”

    What a slut!

  17. ick

    #9 Jrz is right, she’s squirted out 14 spawn, not just the 8.

    I am SO sick of her. But then, I was sick of her the first time I laid eyes on her.

    I don’t like her; no sir, I don’t like her.

  18. mike

    blah blah blah

    Look, she’s had 14 kids and she’s thinner than most of the female commenters.

    It’s the truth and you know it.

  19. Zanna

    @10 – I heard t hey put them in a jar.

  20. Doc Holiday

    All of her children are on disability and receive over $1000 a month in cash and WIC each. That is $14,000 per month not including HER benifits. That is over $200,000 a year with what she gets. NO pole for her anymore. Didn’t even need one to conceive. They will all get FREE educations too. Everybody calls her stupid but, seems to me she’s smarter that all of US!

  21. Zanna

    Vagina. It’s not a clown car.

  22. Courtyardpigeon

    Let me get this straight…..she had babies, so now she’s famous?
    And what in God’s name are those nasty things attached to her ankles? She needs to wear shoes even in her sleep.

  23. fertilized egg awaiting implantation

    I think she’s hot.

  24. She looks like the spawn of Jeanine Garafolo and Angelina Jolie…

  25. wet rag

    She had in vitro and c-sections so most of the jokes don’t work.

  26. Carolyn

    Stupid ass french manicure, Starbucks coffee and expensive sunglasses. Where the hell does she get the $$?

  27. Max Planck

    She gets the money from taxpayers. At least she is assuring the survival of the species. Thanks.

  28. CNN

    #20, Faux News, there you go again…3 of her earlier 6 kids receive disability payments, as does Octomom herself. Newborns don’t qualify for disability payments. Breathing into a bag might help you with your chronic hyperventilating.

  29. i call 'em as I see 'em

    Yeah, and I just read that her new house cost well over $500,000.
    How does that happen?
    This “celebutard” crap really irks me.
    What about all the people in this country who are struggling with their mortgages who were responsible, and DIDN’T have 14 kids that they COULDN’T AFFORD?
    (not to mention pay for in vitro, which goes for about $7000.00 a pop, and usually isn’t covered by insurance…)
    She planned this- I think that by investing in this new crop of kids AND a publicist, she figured that she’d get the endorsements and the attention that she OBVIOUSLY craves. She wanted to be a celebrity. And nowdays, the Dionne Quintuplets just aren’t very unusual. She had to go for quantity, and also somehow bring Angelina Jolie’s name into it, because she sells…..
    I can’t stand this bitch.
    Those poor kids.
    It’s like they were created just to give their mother her 15 minutes of fame.
    What happens when her quarter hour is over?
    I fear for their safety,
    no lie.
    I believe that she is supremely unstable.

  30. Jesus everliving fuck look at her feet!

    I cant stand this mutant cunt.

  31. jrz

    Do these children have names yet?
    Knowing her they’re all named like Angelina (her favorite), Brad…..Brangelina, Shiloh, Maddox, Pax, the other one, Knox, Zahara….um…Lara Croft, Gia, Changeling, Wanted and um…Girl…..Interrupted.

  32. A

    She looks really good for just having 8 kids. I bet if she didn’t look this good, she wouldn’t have gone for the 8…

  33. A

    She looks really good for just having 8 kids. I bet if she didn’t look this good, she wouldn’t have gone for the 8…

  34. jrz

    32 (and 33): Not such a huge accomplishment…All 8 of those babies weighed as much as one of mine. shit…..they only weighed about a pound and half each. My son weighted 9. But you take off them clothes and I’ll guarantee you there’s a whole lotta bad goin on around her navel. A whole lot.

  35. #32 – Jrz is right… I could have fit them all in my backpack… not that I would have… I mean, what are the odds of getting away with THAT more than once..?

  36. i call 'em as I see 'em

    #21- Zanna- best comment yet!!!
    still laughing!
    But in deference to #25, Uterus instead of Vagina.
    Still laughing.

  37. Doc Holiday

    WRONG CNN. Being born pre-mature automatically qualifies you for disability for a year and then is re-evaled after that. Since the only parent is disabled, ALL the kids get a sympathy checks even if they don’t get their own disability check.

  38. justifiable

    Yeah, right. This flapping cunt has been proven time and again to be a liar (I’m not on welfare/I’ve never had plastic surgery/I got this house all by myself). She’s a raging Angelina -wannabe attention whore looking for new fodder to shock Dr. Phil.

    God, I’ve never asked you for anything big, but please, please, please, can’t you make her die now? I know you don’t want her any more than we do, but make the effort. Because I can name 14 people that would instantly be better off.

  39. Jrz

    Fuck me man….two times on one post I’ve been right (#35 and #17). That’s a first.

  40. urf

    #31, yeah, but she’d probably get ‘em all wrong- Malox, Knocks, Silo, TamPax, Toom Rader, Geo….

  41. Jrz

    She gots a fivehead. And you know what they say…the bigger the fivehead the bigger the vuh-jie

  42. Jrz

    HAHA #40!
    Womb Raider Suleman

  43. Mike Hawk

    She doesn’t fuck, and she has 14 kids? What a catch.44444444444444444444444teeeeeenfuccking kids?!!!! Selfish, worthless , leech. Brings out the hate in a person.

  44. #39 – You’re right Jrz.

  45. urf

    womb raider! I didn’t even think of that ! hahahahah!

  46. jrz

    Three times, Rich!

  47. Mr. Jones

    Everyone gather around the hateraid – there is plenty for all.

    Christ, what a disgusting human being
    Dropping out 8 hatchlings like some insect queen
    Enough crotchlings to form a football team
    Mucus-covered mewlings, inhuman screams
    Crawling from the chrysalis – our horror scene

  48. She reminds me of Angelia Jolie!!

    Oh, I just got here, but Jrz’s right.

  49. His Huge Greatness Himself

    Is this woman sane!?

  50. More like Can’tgelina Nolie…

Leave A Comment