Obama Killed Andrew Breitbart

March 1st, 2012 // 145 Comments
Barack Obama
A Tale Of Two Dicks
Andrew Breitbart
That Time Andrew Breitbart Was Right About Something Read More »

“No one ever suspects the President. HAHAHAHAHA- Oh, right, all those white people.”

When I first read all the insane conspiracy theories regarding Andrew Breitart’s death, my immediate reaction was to laugh and wonder how these people get through a day without chaining a loved one in the basement until they can prove they’re not a secret Muslim and/or faggot. But then something happened to make me think, wait a minute, maybe Obama did kill his most vocal critic. And that something was him going on The B.S. Report and getting sloppy by not only proclaiming his love of The Wire, but also picking Omar Little as his favorite character instantly making him the most well-loved president in all the land without someone to doctor video saying Obama’s real favorite character was Daniels because Daniels be stealing all the white bitches. Via Gawker:

BS: Settle an office debate. Best Wire character of all time?
Obama: It’s got to be Omar, right? I mean, that guy is unbelievable, right?
BS: We might break this down as like a March Madness bracket, and I think he’s going to be the no. 1 seed. [Laughter.] Everyone is in on Omar, it seems like.
Obama: He’s got to be the no. 1 seed. I mean, what a combination. And that was one of the best shows of all time.
BS: Yes, I agree with you.
Obama: Yes, it was a great show.

Remember in The Dark Knight when Batman stops Harvey Dent from shooting the Joker’s goon in the leg because he’s supposed to be Gotham’s white knight? Well, where the fuck was he on this? And if someone says “showering with Robin,” Joe Paterno and I both made him pinky swear to knock that shit off.

Photo: Getty

superficial

  1. Plurp

    Too bad someone doesn’t kill obama.

    Ohhhh, is that just too much for you lib? You are allowed to spit on Breitbart’s grave but don’t dare say something about dear leader. Asshole.

    • Plurp_Is_an_IDIOT

      I was wondering how long it would take for the idiots to come out. First post! Bravo! Now on to google to get that Secret Service number…

      • JK

        That came out spitting on the dead in the earlier post. Stop playing childish pick and choose hater bullshit games.

      • James

        Oh good, another servant calling for Big Brother to arrest everyone that makes a comment on a celebrity internet forum.

        Idiot is not the word for you, it is traitor. I’m sure your master Obama pays all of your bills for you as well. Too bad he wants to censor the internet so no more celebrity nude pics for you!

        Thanks Obamanation

    • El Jefe

      Congratulations on your visit by the Secret Service.
      What an idiot.

    • cc

      Ummm, you know they can easily trace IP addresses right?

      • Plurp

        To do what? Find out Ive done nothing but put a sarcastic comment on a lib tabloid site? Your righteous indignation in defense of the most useless president, nay person in this country is a joke. The chances I will be busted by the SS are the same as when you and all your kind called for the murder of George Bush. So please, spare me.

      • Rapsutin's Evil Twin

        No one wanted Bush dead – not with Darth Cheney next in line.

    • Guesty

      A Gothamist commenter was arrested for wishing similar things upon Ray Kelly, chief of the NYPD.

    • Tiffany

      Wow, Plurp, pent up issues? Consider the website you are looking at! This site isn’t exactly respectful to ANY dead person, regardless of political affiliation. What a fool you are.

    • lol. No that’s their precious baby…..this leftest communist let’s bring America to it’s knees….radical shit brains. http://www.uhuh.com/nwo/communism/comgoals.htm Their agenda.

      • Jackson

        Queen4Hart is a liberal spoofing a conservative, right?

        I mean, no one is *really* that dumb and evil, are they?

    • GrantK

      Hi, just checking in from Canada. You people are all friggin craaaazay.

  2. Don't Believe The Lie

    He’s not black he’s half white.

    • ktulu

      Didn’t know if you have a drop of black semen in you you have all the rights to cry about your position in life while you smoke crack and act gangsta?

  3. Battler

    A closeted black man’s favorite Wire character was a closeted black man.

  4. You're Free to Go Back

    The people that founded The United States did so to get away from the Europeans, the Asians and the Africans. They wanted a new world where everyone was equal regardless of color or religion. You have been taught the founders of the United States were blood thirsty savages hell bent on destroying everything in their path, you have been misinformed.

    • Seriously. Most of the founding fathers were deists that really did believe in equality. Many of those same founding fathers went on to start the abolition movement that eventually really did give everyone in this country equal rights and serves as a lesson to this day that in spirit the US really does…or did at least..have the right ideas on how to treat people. You know that love, honor and respect stuff so many of us scoff at on the daily.

      That said, the only two sad things about this whole thing is that his children will grow up without a father and his wife lost a husband. I will not tap dance on that and I feel for them and hope they’re holding up well.

    • cc

      ‘The people that founded The United States did so to get away from the Europeans’ I thought they WERE Europeans? Or is there something I am missing out on.

      Of course, there were some people here BEFORE the Europeans. They didn’t fare very well.

    • The fuck? The people who founded this country wanted to get away from centuries of religious wars, various oppressive churches and religious leaders, the notion that God gave heritary royalty that bankrupted countries fighting said religious (and civil) wars a divine right to rule, and finally, a government where they were paying first class taxes yet getting second class citizen status. They weren’t invested in some sort of xenophobic mission to “get away” from Africans or Asians, and since they actually looked to Europe for their pattern of civil government, philosophy, architecture and pretty much everything else except religious rule, they weren’t exactly casting Europe behind them as much as you’d think.

      And revisionist history doesn’t count – equality based on color, unfortunately, wasn’t one of the tenets the country was founded on. Native Americans sure as hell didn’t have the rights that whites did. Slavery existed when the Constitution was signed, slaves couldn’t vote and had no rights, and for purposes of proportioning delegates and tax distrbution, under the “Federal Ratio” only 3/5 of the slave population counted at al.

      I don’t know where you get the idea that everyone’s been taught the founders were “bloodthirsty savages hellbent on destroying everything in their path”, but it seems you’ve been grossly misinformed about a number of things.

      • You're Free To Go Back

        “I don’t know where you get the idea that everyone’s been taught the founders were “bloodthirsty savages hellbent on destroying everything in their path”, but it seems you’ve been grossly misinformed about a number of things”

        You don’t know because you are ignorant of a great many things.

      • Take that, justifiable. That mouth-breathing ignoramus thinks he cut you to the quick!

    • getsumfacts

      the founding fathers came to america because back in europe the dinosaurs kept eating all the old people. they were slower and couldnt run fast enough.

    • “You don’t know because you are ignorant of a great many things.”

      Ah, the old “I know what I know, don’t confuse me with facts” fallback. What is it, exactly, that I’m ignorant of? It sure as hell isn’t the facts about the founding of this country, a topic that you’re obviously woefully uninformed about. OMFG, thank Christ that Jefferson and the Pilgrims were able to avoid those Asians! Yes, equality based on color was very, very important to many of them…such as Washington, our first President and the writer of the Declaration of Independence, our third, who owned slaves all their lives. Yes indeed, I bet Jefferson kept them because only under his ownership could they have equality, right? Yeah, that must’ve been it.

      Insisting someone’s ignorant but oddly not being able to produce the salient facts not only proves you’re ignorant now, it’s also sad evidence that you’re a moron who will remain that way all your life.

    • Thanks, I’m really just trying to get away from the Europeans, the Asians and the Africans.

    • Seriously, they’re fucking everywhere. Haven’t you noticed?

      • Yep, why those pesky Asians were already waiting for them in the “new world,” damn that ancient land mass connecting Siberia and the American continent!

      • feeble mind

        “The founding fathers wanted to get away from… the Asians and the Africans.” FUCKING LOL!

    • Esol Esek

      This has to be the stupidest thing I’ve read in a long time on the net. Congrats.

      Kind of hard to get away from Africans when you import 100,000s of them as slaves. Then you also bring in 1000s of Chinese in the West as laborers, and give them the dirtiest, most dangerous jobs. THe Americas were a colony that wanted to be part of England at the start. It wasnt until imperial treatment got out of control, that a revolution took hold. It NEVER had ANYTHING to do with getting away from other races, who were all seen as inferior.

      There is a white boneheadedness that is probably universal to every race. White people are the most deluded because they ended up on top for a few centuries, although even the Ottoman Turks were a real threat only 150 years ago.

      Anyway, the supremacist white idiot is so lost in his own drivel, I’m more worried about him with a loose nuke than an Iranian.

      Before you rightist clowns bray anymore, I am white as well. Not all of us are insane. But maybe if you guys get birth control made illegal, there won’t be any more of you idiots conceived.

  5. EricLr

    I guess killing Romney would be too obvious. So, instead, he’s concocted a brilliant, but diabolical, plan to win the election by taking out a series of loudmouthed bloggers.

    Without their douchebag blogger of choice, conservatives across the country will inevitably turn into communist liberals and join Team Obama, allowing him to win. He will then declare himself emperor, take everyone’s guns away, outlaw Jesus, and give every management job to black people (who will then sleep with our pretty white daughters).

    Pretty clever Obama, but we’re onto you!

  6. James Felix

    Whether you liked Breitbart or not isn’t really relevant at the moment. The fact is that the way you decent, compassionate liberals are reacting to his death proves one thing:

    he was right about you.

    • JK

      Well said. Both sides are guilty of being assholes in times like this, but still, it gets old and the left always has done mean better.

    • Everybody Here

      Andrew Breibart used outright lies and deception to support his political agenda.

      And no, I don’t like or respect people who behave like assholes. Not even when they die.

      • Jill

        I agree with Everybody Here whole heartedly. I doubt anyone who is calling for compassion for this guy did the same when it was bin Laden and Hussein. Now I don’t mean to say that Breitbart committed the atrocities of these two men, but I’m not the one saying everyone should have compassion in times death, regardless of who it is or what they’ve said/done to fuck up the lives of others.

      • He didn’t lie. All liberals do is lie about everything….Obama is the biggest fucking liar of them all.

      • Everybody Here

        Ignoring the truth doesn’t make you less wrong.

    • El Jefe

      So sick of the garbage lies that you all put out there. You love to try to use the whole liberal compassionate hypocrisy thing, but you assholes hide behind the bible and try to pretend that you are god fearing, but you are the most vile hate filled people in the world. You are racist, selfish, don’t care about the elderly and the poor, and are ready to pick up guns and murder anyone at any given time without taking 5 seconds to see if maybe it is wrong. If you all ever actually picked up a bible and read it you would see that you are the absolute opposite of what Jesus teaches you to do in the bible.

      Breitbart was a lying piece of shit hate monger and there is no reason to offer condolences to him. Not everyone is deserving of condolences, the same way you would not offer them to Hitler.

      This man like Rush Limbaugh spews nothing but hate and I for one will not apologize for not being sorry that he is dead and if you don’t like it, suck my dick.

      • H-dawg

        Well said. I don’t care if you’re conv, lib, dem, or repub, if you spew lies and hate for personal gain (or otherwise) I am glad you’re dead. I think the world is a better place without you. Am I a hater b/c of that statement? Would the world be better off without me? Well, that’s like, your opinion, man.

      • This is why I hate political discussions. The arguments by both sides always focus on the far-left and far-right. Ultimately, both revert to 5th grade tactics.

        It doesn’t matter if it’s a Democrat or Republican; they are all pieces of shit. All of them are rich and really don’t care about us until it’s time for votes.

        Personally, I want to clear the whole lot out and start over with more than 2 viable political parties.

      • When Sen. Ted Kennedy passed away Breitbart called him “a special pile of human excrement…a villain…duplicitous…a big fat-ass motherfucker…and a prick.”

        As much as I don’t want to speak ill of the dead, I would say that those words apply to Breitbart himself.

    • JPC

      When Whitney Houston died, Fox News comment sections were filled with hundreds of racist conservatives celebrating that a “n*gger crackhead” died. Fox eventually deleted those threads…..but then news came out that her daughter was hospitalized after news of her mothers death. Then, hundreds of fine conservatives hopped on the comment section to hurl racist insults at the daughter.

      While Whitney was an addict and certainly a bitch, she didn’t use outright lies and unmitigated to try to destroy other people’s lives like Breitbart. Yet for some reason, it’s cool with you conservatives to dance on her grave and attack her young daughter, but not cool to express anything but deep sympathy and sadness when the despicable, hate-filled Breitbart dies.

      Spare me your bullshit, you fucking swine.

    • Sliver

      Exactly. I don’t like to liberal-bash, because, let’s face it, we all live her. Unfortunately I know both “liberals” and “conservatives” and the conservatives seem to be much more, um, sane. I hear libs talk a lot about allowing basically unlimited immigration. But we don’t have unlimited jobs, so our country would fail, and people would welfare the country to pieces. I would like a “liberal” to please explain to me how we would have enough jobs when we already have whole families destitute or living in their cars. Please, I want to hear your solutions. In addition to that, most land is privately-owned in America, so don’t tell me we have plenty of space, or I might clock your ass. Try reality.

      • Sliver

        *here*

      • Casey

        Silver, you aren’t hearing the liberals asking for “unlimited immigration.” You’re hearing the left wing moonbats, the other side of the spectrum from the right wing nut job. Both are batshit insane in their own special glass licking way. And fuck off with your “I don’t like to liberal bash” and then insulting the sanity of the ENTIRE PARTY. Don’t pretend that you’re not getting off on this.

    • Jackson

      “The fact is that the way you decent, compassionate liberals are reacting to his death proves one thing: he was right about you.”

      No, he wasn’t. The responses here don’t mean that the doctored video lies he concocted against Shirley Sherrod are true. They still aren’t. They don’t mean the ACORN scandal was true either.

      He’s still wrong on all that stuff.

      Breitbart was free to say mean things when Ted Kennedy died. We’re free to say mean things when he died. It’s called free speech.

      • Sliver

        Excuse the fuck out of me? “Casey” I spelled your name right, despite you not being able to do the same for my screen name, you fuckwad. The entire party…is batshit crazy. Don’t worry, douche-rocket, I’m not leaving the Repugs out of this either, you gene-pool diluting derp-stick. Exactly what am I getting off on, here? P.s. I have only heard of the Breitbart guy maybe once. I have no dog in that fight. So assume your ass completely off.

  7. Jay

    Fish? don’t let the haters get to you, keep the faith, faithful follower since 2007

  8. Cock Dr

    If true our president can kill with his thoughts.
    Get busy Mr. Prez.

  9. OK, this made me laugh.

  10. YoMamma

    When did this site turn into NPR? Or worse… pinkisthenewblog? I come here for the celebrity gossip not politics. Stick to your day job, Photo Boy. STFU. TYVM. XOXO.

  11. Kim Kardashian is fat.

  12. Going, Going, Gone

    Didn’t this site used to be funny and entertaining?

    • Schlitz

      Good fucking question.

    • Casey

      You mean you’re not enjoying the crybaby bullshit from the posters who come out of the woodwork during a “Superficial Scandal” just to piss and moan about how they’re not coming back? To each their own. :)

      In case you’re relatively new, this happens every few months here. The last one was probably Paterno/Penn State. Before that, Ryan Dunn. If you think this is abnormal, then you haven’t been around much.

    • Jackson

      Oh, all the whining and pants-pissing from conservatives here is still pretty funny.

  13. cumbutt

    Kim Kardashian can eat my shit!

  14. Your mom

    Wow he was only 43? Based on the photos I would have guessed mid 50′s.

    • Jill

      Is there an award for the MOST superficial comment of the day? Cause “Your mom” just won it.

    • Trek Girl

      There are a lot of people, myself included, who thought he was in his mid-50′s.

    • I actually thought he had to be 63 and 43 was a typo.

    • HEY HICK FUCK YOU!

      Drugs, booze, and a shitty disposition will do that to you. He followed the Rush Limbaugh diet. He might be wearing a toe tag, but at least those goddam libs kept their socialist hands off his health care.

  15. antidoteco

    Obama = CRAP

    • ktulu

      Obama is a pile of shit the sooner he “goes” the better. Fuck the secret service they probably couldn’t find my address with a phone book.

      • Sure they could – c’mon, how many piss-stained cardboard boxes wrapped in super-cloaking tinfoil under freeway underpasses can there be?

      • Sliver

        They might find your neighbor’s house and break in with a chainsaw. I have actually heard of that happening. Do you (or did you) like your neighbor?

      • HEY HICK FUCK YOU!

        All they have to do is trace your IP address, idiot.

  16. grobpilot

    Goddamn it, Fish!! Where’s the naked tits? And I mean naked tits on a hot, FEMALE, blond or brunette. I don’t want to see gorilla tits or pig tits or some other stupid shit like that. Bring on the titties!!!

    • cc

      Exactly, hasn’t that Nolin chick stretched on a beach or anything lately?

    • Lifetime subscriber to "Erotic barnyard animal weekly"

      hey, speak for yourself there grobpilot! Just because YOU don’t appreciate the beauty and eroticism of a hot set of gorilla tits, doesn’t give you any right to ruin it for the rest of us!

  17. Jiminy Cryptic

    Where’s the tits?

  18. Tom Brady

    I’ll buy a Donovan McNabb jersey once Rush Limbaugh croaks.

  19. cc

    BTW, was ‘The Wire’ good? I tried to watch, but honestly a lot of the time I couldn’t understand the slang.

  20. Just to balance things out, could you show Michele Obama caught with her mouth open so we can fill the page with the obligatory black microphone comments?

    Thanks.

  21. kirby

    who benefits from this guys death??? Besides many people, of course. But we aren’t any LESS likely to go to war with Iran with him dead, so how long do we have until the end of the USA??? Obama is as good a president as Bush. Question should be: good for whom? Cause it sure as hell ain’t you or me.

    • vekfan

      We need to take out Iran, they’re a very real threat not just to the US but the rest of the free world.

      • kirby

        uuuhhh, why? Cause they MAY have nukes like the rest of the people who are constantly telling them they are going to destroy Iran??? What has an Iranian ever done to you??? Did one steal your cupcake? It is the good ol’ USA that has harmed that country more than I would allow if I was running Iran and yet they STILL don’t war with us. I wonder what would happen if we just let them live in peace. For every bomb that kills a child, another terrorist is created. If you don’t believe that then you are childless and have no concept of that.

      • HEY HICK FUCK YOU!

        Free world? LMFAO!

  22. ktulu

    What I love about the fish is that he hates everyone who hates muslims, or blacks, or obama or gays or whoever else he wishes would rule his life. But essentially he throws hate and people that he feels hate. So basically he hates his dumb ass self. You fucking shit show retard.

    • JPC

      No hate in this guy. Not at all.

    • Yeah, he really wants Jerry Sandusky to be in charge and run his life, and therefore he must hate himself. Seriously, what’s it like to see what pitifully few brain cells you have dying at a really visible rate?

    • cc

      ‘But essentially he throws hate and people that he feels hate’

      If could hear you, I am sure you’d be sputtering.

  23. Well, why not……he’s ruined the country.

  24. leftistsareignorant

    Funny how the leftists attack everyone but the person that is taking their freedoms away. Obama makes Bush look like a lightweight YET they stick their heads in the sand every time Obama fucks them in the ass.

    Just a bunch of god damn useful idiots. It’s amazing how stupid these self proclaimed “intellectuals” really are.

  25. obamaisworthless

    Obama didn’t kill shit. He is worthless and incapable of doing anything but shooting some hoops with the homies.

    worst president in modern history

  26. Evil

    4 more years!

  27. Anti-Obama

    Too bad Obama didn’t croak instead, the world would be a better place without him clueless ass in it.

    RIP Andrew, you didn’t put up with the shit from the Liberal assholes and you called them out on all of their bullshit (whenever they opened their mouths).

    Thanks Andrew!

    • JPC

      Always love when people insult a person’s intelligence and include a blatant spelling error.

      Him clueless ass? The “M” isn’t even close to the “S” so it’s not like you can argue it’s just a slip of the finger. Nope, the only explanation is that you are just incredibly stupid. Which would be the same conclusion I would draw based on the content of your idiotic comment even without the error.

      • James

        Yes. Obama is WAY different than any of the Republican candidates, isn’t he?

        Stop supporting the destruction of the USA you mindless fuckhead.

  28. GhostofBreitbartssharts

    Thank you for killing me Mr Obama. I didn’t want to live knowing you were going to get a second term. The race is already over so I died. In my pants. I left all my oxy to Rush, he’s next.

  29. Bonky

    If Obama killed Breitbart then he is really on a roll.

    OBAMA 2012 !

  30. college snob

    lol.

  31. Tracy Lester

    It is proven that the Obama campaign has an enemies list.
    Andrew would have been on top of that list.
    Anyone who wishes to preserve freedom must try to get their name on Obama’s enemies list.

    • LJ

      Did you “prove” that list in your own little mind?
      Delusional seems to be the overriding theme of the campaign of the Right Wing.

      • It is proven that Andrew had a favorite drugs list.
        Cocaine and grain alcohol would have been on top of that list.
        Any drug dealer/liquor store wishing to acheive the very highest possible profits tried to get their name on Brietbart’s supllier’s list.

        There. Fixed that for you.

    • HEY HICK FUCK YOU!

      Fashion a hat out of tin foil and put it on your head. That should take care of those pesky voices.

  32. P.S. Andrew who?

  33. James

    He was 100% ordered killed by the government. there really is no debate about it, they didn’t even try this time, they just did it.

    I’m sorry you people can’t see past Katy Perry’s tits and Obama’s March madness picks.

    Hey, don’t get me wrong, I love Katy Perry’s tits.

  34. reb

    hahahah! When I read things like this I think how lucky I am to live in Canada. However the politics south of the border sure are entertaining…

  35. forrest

    ……we have a new “Terminator” here?

  36. liberalsarescum

    This leftists idot does an allright job at showing tits, camel toes and such. He needs to stick to that because he looks like a god damn fool when he delves into politics.

  37. selhishol ridatansb

    SDFFG

  38. cici

    Now that the supposed left is proving to be the same as the right , I’m unsure of how I feel about any of this political excrement. Hows about they all suck, all sell-outs, all egotistical self absorbed garbage. No tears if all play with the worms.

  39. Urethra Franklin

    The best Wire character is Kenard, hands down. All other answers are wrong.

  40. Inmate 12236969

    Piss on these comments let’s talk about fucking some chicks that’s what this site is about—I’m all for fucking the First Lady.

  41. Cpm

    It’s the Chicago Way.

  42. SeeAlice

    What’s all this crap for ? If I wanted to read the hatred towards conservatives I would read CNN, MSDNC , ABC,CBS ,NBC etc .
    Now, Where are pictures of Kelly Brook .

  43. kirby

    Remind me again, why do people like Obama?? I think his next plan is to wipe out hunger in America by passing a law that mandates everyone has to buy food and eat it.

  44. JC

    wishing the bastard of islam was dead is not a threat! Its called free speech! And I wish someone would get him after what he did to Breitbart, which is only one of the people hes had murdered!

    Beverly Eckert , a 911 widow dies in a plane crash a week after meeting with the muslim sonofabitch. A key witness in passport fraud of obama, Lieutenant Quarles Harris Jr, murdered on a Washington street. And probably had John Wheeler killed too!

  45. Inmate 12236969

    I’d fuck plastic Nancy Pelosi just to say I did it.

  46. arthur

    What is wrong with Obamas lips they are blue. He is not human. Remember in Job and Noahs days the evil angels mated with the humans. They will be in the last days. He is not human he is evil.

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