O.J. Simpson Is Obsessed With Kim Kardashian, Yesssssssssss

August 14th, 2014 // 37 Comments
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It’s been a week of shitty news followed by shitheads capitalizing on said shit, so here’s a ray of sunshine piercing through the storm: O.J. Simpson is sitting in jail obsessing over Kim Kardashian and could get out as early as 2017! Is anyone else doing the pee-pee dance? I’m doing the pee-pee dance. Radar reports:

“He has several sexy pictures of Kim hanging up in his prison cell from her 2007 Playboy shot and he isn’t shy about showing her picture to fellow inmates,” an insider told us.

Simpson joked to a pal, “She likes black ball players, I am a Hall of Famer — and I still have my Heisman award,” a dig at Kardashian’s former boyfriend Reggie Bush who gave back his college football Heisman trophy after it came to light of some unethical dealings he was involved during his college playing days.

Not creepy enough for you? Let me check in the back. Wait one second.

As far as her recent wedding to Kanye West, Simpson doesn’t think that it’s any big deal saying, “As long as I am in prison, I can’t be with her so Kanye can have her for now.
But when I get out she’s mine.”

And I also found these. They’re a size murder.

“He reads every magazine he can about her and when she is on TV he demands silence from his fellow inmates so he can watch without interruption. He’s even tried to get in contact with her, but so far she hasn’t responded to him.”

So anyone know how I can get in touch with the parole board and testify on O.J.’s behalf? Because I feel like he’s truly rehabilitated himself and, I dunno, found Jesus. Also, I’m going to need his current glove size. For winter. Juice hates frostbite.

Photos: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. Kim Kardashian Nipples Giant Breasts Ill Fitting Bra Tight See Through Shirt
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Here’s a woman who needs 2 bras, one for the front & one for the back.
    I prefer to keep OJ in the cooler. Let time & more compulsive plastic surgeries procedures do it’s work here.

  2. A fucked up man likes fucked up women….

  3. How old was she when her dad was one of his defense attorneys? He’s been waiting a long time for her to ripen.

  4. This has the potential to be hilarious/tragic. Depends on which side of the fence you’re on.

    • satan'srighthand74

      It will be awfully lonely on the tragic side. Meanwhile a party will be going on over on the hilarious side.

  5. He is drooling, obsessing, and beating off over his dead friend’s daughter. In prison, isn’t that grounds for a Dahmer-ing?

  6. In all fairness, who doesn’t fantasize about getting at Kim Kardashian with a gigantic kitchen knife.

  7. I wouldn’t put it past this family (Kris specifically) to have had some kind of deal with OJ to hook up with Kim when she….matured for their help with his case.

  8. Kim Kardashian Nipples Giant Breasts Ill Fitting Bra Tight See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    I like her tits! But, when she went to her plastic surgeon the last time, did she ask him to make her lips look like they are perpetually sucking on a straw?

  9. Short Round

    Remember O.J., when in front of the parole board admit your guilt, show remorse and tell the guy to stamp his forms because you don’t give a shit. Worked for Red!

  10. JC

    For Sale: 1993 White Ford Bronco. 53K miles, V8 engine, only driven cautiously at relatively low speeds. Perfect for that romantic getaway (hint, hint). Seller will accept cash or cigarettes in payment.

  11. Suck It Trebek

    If LA really wants an NFL team they should piece together one from arrests. I would give anything to watch that team on HBO’s Hard Knocks. Urban Meyer would be the perfect coach. Put the stadium next to the prison so they can always be available for games. OJ can be the robbery/murder backs coach.

  12. the world

    Creepy? That is AWESOME! Let’s go repeat offender!

  13. Suck It Trebek

    FYI isn’t he the father of her half wookie sister? What does that push the creepiness meter to?

  14. Hmm

    Murder-suicide? Fingers crossed.

  15. She’s going to need to know how long and strong his pee stream is.

  16. Kim Kardashian Nipples Giant Breasts Ill Fitting Bra Tight See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    John Mayer dying inside behind her.

  17. Oh BABY

    If anyone can rid us of this disgusting piss whore in a spectacular way, it’s OJ. I say let him at her.

  18. This has all the making of a double-homicide/suicide debacle…

    Why does such a horrible thought makes me so damn happy?

  19. Kind of like Germany invading Russia in WWII.

  20. Kim Kardashian Nipples Giant Breasts Ill Fitting Bra Tight See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    This is a great combination of news and nipple pokies.

  21. Just when Kim’s/the Kardashians’ fame is about to burn out Kris will sacrifice Kim to OJ.

  22. After carefully weighing every factor known to me at the moment, I feel I must conclude that the tits are relevant.
    All the tits, not just hers.

  23. Who wants to pitch in with me to buy OJ a release day present? I’m thinking a secluded pig farm somewhere.

  24. JuiceUp

    O.J. will be the first one in line at Walmart to buy her collection of Kim Kardashian signature kitchen knives.

  25. MZ MIZRY

    I thought OJ was into blondes?

  26. pamb

    Why didn’t you mention that her father’s claim to fame was that he was one of OJ’s attorneys? So basically, OJ’s known Kim since she was a young girl. And now he wants to do her? Ew.

  27. Kim Kardashian Nipples Giant Breasts Ill Fitting Bra Tight See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Yum. Yum.

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