The National Enquirer isn’t exactly the most accurate publication known to man, mostly because this site is, but occasionally they nail one so far out of the park, aliens are peeing on it in a sex tape. Here they are solving the mystery of who put Khloe Kardashian into Kris Jenner‘s whore-uterus behind Robert Kardashian‘s back. Via The Daily Mail:
American tabloid The National Enquirer today ran a story that claimed the jailed former sportsman told friends that Khloe was his.
‘O.J. told me Khloe’s his child,’ a source is quoted as telling the publication.
They allege that Khloe’s mother Kris Jenner had several trysts with O.J. around the time Khloe was conceived.
They also point out the similarities Khloe shares with O.J.’s 26-year-old daughter Sydney.
…
They allege that O.J. boasted about his affair and told friends about a ‘secret love child’ he had.
‘O.J. bragged about his sex life and many female conquests, which he said included some of his best friends’ wives,’ yet another source told the National Enquirer.
He used to tell us way back – even before he and Nicole got divorced – that he had a love child with the wife of a wealthy family.
Now guess how I know this is true. Take a wild guess. — Kim Kardashian says it isn’t. That’s right!
Now we have all the answers! It makes sense now! Khloe u are so tan!
Of course, the only way to be certain O.J. Simpson is Khloe’s dad, not counting all that concrete scientific evidence I just gave you, is to find out if she’s ever murdered a blonde woman. I’m not talking an accidental mauling while rooting through a campsite for an open Snickers bar, I’m talking, “Bitch, you’re mine!” and stabbing somebody with a knife. It’s the only way to know.
Photos: Splash News
Mark Ryan Haemig | January 19, 2012 at 1:47 pm
yup, this has to be true….look at her face….all OJ
Sn0t_BuBBLe | January 19, 2012 at 1:53 pm
I always thought Khloe looked a bit whiter than the others. Are Amenians white? Who the fuck knows.
Josh | January 19, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Some are Lebanese, some are Russian (both Caucasian), but the Kardashians seem to be of the Lebanese variety.
CranAppleSnapple | January 19, 2012 at 3:01 pm
Yeah the nose, definitely.
AssIn9 | January 19, 2012 at 6:38 pm
Kris said she was ‘Mexican’ in an interview.
SlapKatyPerry | January 20, 2012 at 12:43 am
No, Thats not O.J on her face, It’s just pee
Froghammer | January 19, 2012 at 1:51 pm
If I Hit It.
Sonicare Cover | January 19, 2012 at 1:52 pm
…You must acquit it.
CanuckCutie | January 19, 2012 at 2:08 pm
+1
Jay | January 19, 2012 at 2:10 pm
+1
Sonicare Cover | January 19, 2012 at 1:52 pm
She killed my erection. Murderer, just like her daddy.
Ezos Relyt | January 19, 2012 at 1:53 pm
Bah, who’s going to believe Simpson DNA evidence?
it had to be said | January 19, 2012 at 1:53 pm
Oops. I guess the glove didn’t fit.
somethingoriginal | January 19, 2012 at 2:53 pm
If the glove doesn’t fit you must sire a Wookie just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
CranAppleSnapple | January 19, 2012 at 3:00 pm
I like it better.
Mark Ryan Haemig | January 19, 2012 at 1:54 pm
we need a picture of her between pics of OJ and Kris Jenner
LJ | January 19, 2012 at 1:58 pm
Except for the fact that Kloe and Sydney don’t look alike, it sounds as viable as Kortney not scamming us aboutr her marriage.
EricLr | January 19, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Well, she is built like a football player and does have that tendency to murder innocents.
rican | January 19, 2012 at 2:12 pm
That explains Kim’s infatuation with BBC.
RollDdice | January 19, 2012 at 2:16 pm
I don’t know. I’d have to see her drive an SUV first.
Artofwar | January 19, 2012 at 9:45 pm
….White Ford Bronco—in slow-mo….Artofwar
TomFrank | January 19, 2012 at 2:26 pm
If her father’s an ex-football player, wouldn’t he more likely be a linebacker? My money’s on Al Cowlings. That’s right, AC. You know who he is, God damn it!
Richard McBeef | January 19, 2012 at 3:43 pm
My money’s on Kato.
Artofwar | January 19, 2012 at 9:59 pm
….A Lighter skin version of O.J who was the getaway driver of said White Ford Bronco in slow-mo. Knowing Kris Jenner and by her own admissions of infidelity–she probably fucked him too.
Well, at least now we know where the predilection for black cock originated….Artofwar
dontkillthemessenger | January 19, 2012 at 2:27 pm
These tabloids are so dumb.
Why does she have to be OJ’s kid? Why can’t she be F. Lee Bailey’s?
CranAppleSnapple | January 19, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Wow, why do you hate her that much? ;)
Eric | January 19, 2012 at 2:46 pm
Who honestly gives a rat’s fuck?
jamiewithanh | January 19, 2012 at 2:47 pm
I can understand calling Kris Jenner a whore bag…and Kim a golden ray of piss, but Khloe isn’t a full time whore, it seems like a out of the way kinda mean and hateful to keep comparing him to a sasquatch.
dames jean | January 19, 2012 at 8:44 pm
ha ha if that wasn’t a typo, yours is the funniest post on here. if it was a typo, though, get it together man…
Willie Dixon | January 19, 2012 at 2:49 pm
O.J.: … Robert never told you what happened to your father.
Chewbacca: Rauahgr-arrgf. Urf-ngh mrph!
O.J.: No, *I* am your father.
Chewbacca: [shocked] Grf. Grf! Ungrph urph burp!! Fart frf harfamerf!
O.J.: Search your feelings, you know it to be true!
Chewbacca: Aaaaaurrrgg! Aaaaaurrrrrrrrrgg!
somethingoriginal | January 19, 2012 at 2:55 pm
Interesting that Kim’s “denial” is phrased as if they think they don’t have answers and Khloe’s heritage doesn’t make sense.
Holy shit did I just comment on a Kardashian story? DAMN YOU FISH!
tvisme | January 19, 2012 at 3:04 pm
It’s one thing to trash Kim and Kris and I wish the Kardashians would go away, but this kind of story is stooping way too low. Khloe is the only sane one in the bunch. Leave her alone.
Willie Dixon | January 19, 2012 at 4:12 pm
What ever you say, Crocker.
vitobonespur | January 19, 2012 at 3:14 pm
That explains it! Every time I look at Khloe I get the urge to eat BBQ and cornbread.
Mitch | January 19, 2012 at 3:33 pm
How embarrassing for OJ!
SFfan | January 19, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Haven’t seen it mentioned here, but Khloe’s dad is probably this guy in Kris Jenner’s “I love my friends” video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCOy_J1jSn0#t=3m18s
Zackster | January 21, 2012 at 11:28 pm
I think you’re right!
pretty vacant | January 19, 2012 at 4:01 pm
lamar just quit his low down cheatin ways.
tlmck | January 19, 2012 at 4:35 pm
I still think the father is Hoss Cartwright.
Debutante | January 19, 2012 at 5:30 pm
LOL !
GravyLeg | January 19, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Kloebacca and her 1/2 sisters should be scamming the NAACP by Monday if that is even remotely true….
Buddy the Elf | January 19, 2012 at 5:06 pm
I have to say, Kim is even nastier than Khloe. Damn she doesnt even look human.
Debutante | January 19, 2012 at 5:30 pm
Actually, she DOES resemble OJ !
TheListener | January 19, 2012 at 5:50 pm
That’s just ridiculous!
Nameless | January 19, 2012 at 6:35 pm
Didn’t she take a dna test that said she was 97% European?
AssIn9 | January 19, 2012 at 6:40 pm
Dear Jesus,
If you let this be true, I will stop doing all of that anal stuff.
Amen
west | January 19, 2012 at 7:23 pm
The pig’s daddy is the hairdesser in I love mf friends. Who didn’t this nasty skank fauk?
larry | January 19, 2012 at 10:44 pm
I wish all the stinking kardashions BREAST CANCER !
ez | January 19, 2012 at 11:40 pm
Most of you are retards.
She’s not even close to mulatto.
Look at OJ’s kids with a blonde.
They still look black.
crazypants | January 20, 2012 at 1:51 pm
If you google khloe kardashian kid you will see that as a young girl she looks really quite mixed – she is way darker than her sisters and the differences in their appearances is much more noticeable then. OJ is fairly light-skinned so his “mulatto” child could easily pass as white or some sort of ethnic-white.
doctor snuggles | January 19, 2012 at 11:49 pm
let’s just hope this cow & her bitchy mother will be evicted to “Alcatraz” very soon………..
Loser! | January 20, 2012 at 12:47 am
Figures. No wonder pimp-ager kris didn’t want this out…
lkl | January 20, 2012 at 7:53 am
Please be true. I need this.
WhiteChick | January 20, 2012 at 7:46 pm
I fucking love you for this
JP Hot Topics | January 21, 2012 at 9:55 pm
Like you said, the National Enquirer is not the most accurate publication! The only way to know for sure is a paternity test. I am a “Keeping up with the Kardashians” junkie, and I remember Kim and Kourtney joking about Khloe not being a Kardashian. Kris Jenner denies the allegations so I guess we’ll have to sit back and see what happens!