O.J. Simpson Is Khloe Kardashian’s Dad

January 19th, 2012 // 72 Comments
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The National Enquirer isn’t exactly the most accurate publication known to man, mostly because this site is, but occasionally they nail one so far out of the park, aliens are peeing on it in a sex tape. Here they are solving the mystery of who put Khloe Kardashian into Kris Jenner‘s whore-uterus behind Robert Kardashian‘s back. Via The Daily Mail:

American tabloid The National Enquirer today ran a story that claimed the jailed former sportsman told friends that Khloe was his.
‘O.J. told me Khloe’s his child,’ a source is quoted as telling the publication.
They allege that Khloe’s mother Kris Jenner had several trysts with O.J. around the time Khloe was conceived.
They also point out the similarities Khloe shares with O.J.’s 26-year-old daughter Sydney.

They allege that O.J. boasted about his affair and told friends about a ‘secret love child’ he had.
‘O.J. bragged about his sex life and many female conquests, which he said included some of his best friends’ wives,’ yet another source told the National Enquirer.
He used to tell us way back – even before he and Nicole got divorced – that he had a love child with the wife of a wealthy family.

Now guess how I know this is true. Take a wild guess. — Kim Kardashian says it isn’t. That’s right!

Now we have all the answers! It makes sense now! Khloe u are so tan!

Of course, the only way to be certain O.J. Simpson is Khloe’s dad, not counting all that concrete scientific evidence I just gave you, is to find out if she’s ever murdered a blonde woman. I’m not talking an accidental mauling while rooting through a campsite for an open Snickers bar, I’m talking, “Bitch, you’re mine!” and stabbing somebody with a knife. It’s the only way to know.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. yup, this has to be true….look at her face….all OJ

  2. Khloe Kardashian Kim Kardashian Kris Jenner Mavericks Game
    Commented on this photo:

    OH my. 0_0

  3. Sonicare Cover

    She killed my erection. Murderer, just like her daddy.

  4. Ezos Relyt

    Bah, who’s going to believe Simpson DNA evidence?

  5. it had to be said

    Oops. I guess the glove didn’t fit.

  6. we need a picture of her between pics of OJ and Kris Jenner

  7. LJ

    Except for the fact that Kloe and Sydney don’t look alike, it sounds as viable as Kortney not scamming us aboutr her marriage.

  8. EricLr

    Well, she is built like a football player and does have that tendency to murder innocents.

  9. rican

    That explains Kim’s infatuation with BBC.

  10. I don’t know. I’d have to see her drive an SUV first.

  11. If her father’s an ex-football player, wouldn’t he more likely be a linebacker? My money’s on Al Cowlings. That’s right, AC. You know who he is, God damn it!

    • Richard McBeef

      My money’s on Kato.

    • Artofwar

      ….A Lighter skin version of O.J who was the getaway driver of said White Ford Bronco in slow-mo. Knowing Kris Jenner and by her own admissions of infidelity–she probably fucked him too.

      Well, at least now we know where the predilection for black cock originated….Artofwar

  12. dontkillthemessenger

    These tabloids are so dumb.

    Why does she have to be OJ’s kid? Why can’t she be F. Lee Bailey’s?

  13. Who honestly gives a rat’s fuck?

  14. jamiewithanh

    I can understand calling Kris Jenner a whore bag…and Kim a golden ray of piss, but Khloe isn’t a full time whore, it seems like a out of the way kinda mean and hateful to keep comparing him to a sasquatch.

    • dames jean

      ha ha if that wasn’t a typo, yours is the funniest post on here. if it was a typo, though, get it together man…

  15. O.J.: … Robert never told you what happened to your father.
    Chewbacca: Rauahgr-arrgf. Urf-ngh mrph!
    O.J.: No, *I* am your father.
    Chewbacca: [shocked] Grf. Grf! Ungrph urph burp!! Fart frf harfamerf!
    O.J.: Search your feelings, you know it to be true!
    Chewbacca: Aaaaaurrrgg! Aaaaaurrrrrrrrrgg!

  16. Khloe Kardashian Kim Kardashian Kris Jenner Mavericks Game
    wt
    Commented on this photo:

    lol

  17. Interesting that Kim’s “denial” is phrased as if they think they don’t have answers and Khloe’s heritage doesn’t make sense.

    Holy shit did I just comment on a Kardashian story? DAMN YOU FISH!

  18. Khloe Kardashian Kim Kardashian Kris Jenner Mavericks Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “What the hell?! I was screaming for the guy with the hotdogs and he just passes me by? Doesn’t he know he could sell his whole stash with one customer?”

  19. tvisme

    It’s one thing to trash Kim and Kris and I wish the Kardashians would go away, but this kind of story is stooping way too low. Khloe is the only sane one in the bunch. Leave her alone.

  20. That explains it! Every time I look at Khloe I get the urge to eat BBQ and cornbread.

  21. Mitch

    How embarrassing for OJ!

  22. SFfan

    Haven’t seen it mentioned here, but Khloe’s dad is probably this guy in Kris Jenner’s “I love my friends” video:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCOy_J1jSn0#t=3m18s

  23. Khloe Kardashian Kim Kardashian Mavericks Game
    katie
    Commented on this photo:

    bless xxxx

  24. Khloe Kardashian Mavericks Game
    katie
    Commented on this photo:

    I only hope she knows this already :o(

  25. pretty vacant

    lamar just quit his low down cheatin ways.

  26. Khloe Kardashian Mavericks Game
    Doctor Joystick
    Commented on this photo:

    If you click on View Full Size you can clearly read her tattoo says “I did it”.

  27. tlmck

    I still think the father is Hoss Cartwright.

  28. Kloebacca and her 1/2 sisters should be scamming the NAACP by Monday if that is even remotely true….

  29. Buddy the Elf

    I have to say, Kim is even nastier than Khloe. Damn she doesnt even look human.

  30. Debutante

    Actually, she DOES resemble OJ !

  31. TheListener

    That’s just ridiculous!

  32. Nameless

    Didn’t she take a dna test that said she was 97% European?

  33. AssIn9

    Dear Jesus,
    If you let this be true, I will stop doing all of that anal stuff.
    Amen

  34. west

    The pig’s daddy is the hairdesser in I love mf friends. Who didn’t this nasty skank fauk?

  35. Khloe Kardashian Mavericks Game
    Commented on this photo:

    This is a real twist…Chewbacca is using the OJ defense!

  36. larry

    I wish all the stinking kardashions BREAST CANCER !

  37. Khloe Kardashian Mavericks Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sit down! We can’t see the fans who came to watch us play!”

  38. Khloe Kardashian Kim Kardashian Kris Jenner Mavericks Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sorry, Kobe! I need one THIS big!”

  39. ez

    Most of you are retards.

    She’s not even close to mulatto.

    Look at OJ’s kids with a blonde.

    They still look black.

    • crazypants

      If you google khloe kardashian kid you will see that as a young girl she looks really quite mixed – she is way darker than her sisters and the differences in their appearances is much more noticeable then. OJ is fairly light-skinned so his “mulatto” child could easily pass as white or some sort of ethnic-white.

  40. doctor snuggles

    let’s just hope this cow & her bitchy mother will be evicted to “Alcatraz” very soon………..

  41. Loser!

    Figures. No wonder pimp-ager kris didn’t want this out…

  42. Khloe Kardashian Kim Kardashian Mavericks Game
    Jessesgirl
    Commented on this photo:

    Khloe actually has a bigger ass than Kim, it’s just less bubble shaped since it’s all real. Kim’s is the result of lipo/fat transfer/implants/silicone injections.

  43. lkl

    Please be true. I need this.

  44. Khloe Kardashian Kim Kardashian Mavericks Game
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    Guess which one said “Ima take my ass for a walk at a Mavs game”….

  45. Khloe Kardashian Kim Kardashian Kris Jenner Mavericks Game
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    Kris Jenner scans the crowd for Kim’s next husband.

  46. WhiteChick

    I fucking love you for this

  47. JP Hot Topics

    Like you said, the National Enquirer is not the most accurate publication! The only way to know for sure is a paternity test. I am a “Keeping up with the Kardashians” junkie, and I remember Kim and Kourtney joking about Khloe not being a Kardashian. Kris Jenner denies the allegations so I guess we’ll have to sit back and see what happens!

  48. Khloe Kardashian Kim Kardashian Kris Jenner Mavericks Game
    becky g
    Commented on this photo:

    Those are some BAD SHOES! I love them!!

  49. Khloe Kardashian Mavericks Game
    becky g
    Commented on this photo:

    kim looks like a fidh face!

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