Now It’s Kendall Jenner’s Turn To Get Robbed
I already called Kris Jenner the devil once today, so she won’t be able to cross the protective spiritual barrier I’ve once again bought myself for another 23 hours. But it leaves me in another kind of pickle entirely, which is trying to figure out what additional grift angle there is for Kendall Jenner saying she was burglarized. Is she going to try to blame this on Lamar Odom, since he’s back around and looking crack-y as fuck? No, that sounds exactly like a maneuver right out of Kris’ Manual of The Dark Arts of Whoring. Here, read this bullshit while I try to sort this out. Via TMZ:
6:10 AM PT — Law enforcement sources tell us, Kendall called 911 after hearing a noise and believing a burglar might be in her home. When cops arrived they thoroughly searched the house but found no one in the house who didn’t belong.
Law enforcement sources tell TMZ, Kendall left her Hollywood Hills home Wednesday around noon and returned around 8 PM. We’re told she was hanging around the house for several hours, and noticed nothing amiss … that is, until she went into her bedroom just after 1 AM and realized some of her jewelry was missing. She called the cops, who responded quickly.
Our sources say there was no sign of forced entry, and so far no suspects.
If you’re confused about the timeline up there, you’ve already spent more time thinking about this case than the LAPD ever will, because Kris Jenner has inhabited their minds to shut down an investigation that might prove this whole thing was another scam for another easy insurance payou– Fuck! I’m doing it again. Let’s see, what other “They’re all whoring whores” tropes do we have on them that I can use here? It was Kanye desperately searching for that lost sex tape footage? No, that doesn’t really make sense. How about Kendall dropped a skittle behind her jewelry box and Rob consumed several handfuls of necklaces and rings before finding it after he smelled it from 30 miles away. Yep, that’s the one. That’s what I’m going with.