Not now, Kirk Cameron

February 23rd, 2010 // 80 Comments

Because there’s nothing a severely depressed Boner wants to be reminded of more than the fact he’ll always be remembered as Boner, Kirk Cameron issued the following statement to RadarOnline complete with ham-fisted Growing Pains reference:

“I am very concerned to hear of the disappearance of my old friend Andrew Koenig. Although I have not had contact with him for many years, I can remember many of the fun times we had on the set of Growing Pains. I am praying for his family during this time of distress and for his safe return. If you’re reading this, please call me. Mike and Boner could always work things out when they put their minds to it. I’m praying for you, pal. Hope to hear from you soon.”

Good effort, Kirk Cameron, except you forgot when people put their minds to things they realize evolution makes more sense than Jesus running the first Jurassic Park. Pat Robertson will be by to collect your Bible.

NOTE: Police believe Boner is alive which means he’s been around way longer than four hours. Might want to call a doctor.

Photos: Getty
superficial

  1. chick

    and who is this guy?

  2. I hope boner comes back and Kirk Cameron kills himself, twice.

  3. A product of the planet of the apes

    Can’t wait to read the angry posts by all the religious zealots. Let me just say to the fanatics ahead of time: go to hell.

  4. I hope boner comes back and Kirk Cameron kills himself, twice.

  5. SO RIGHT

    Kirk is a good guy. And for some of us, God/Jesus makes a whole lot more sense than some big bang evolution theory. Why is one any more absurd than the other, especially since science can’t explain about 85% of what happens in the world.

  6. Taz

    can you imagine how much trim this guy got

  7. THE TRUTH

    @ SO RIGHT

    “more sense”
    Story book vs science

  8. fat guy in a little shirt....

    @5

    +1

  9. i saw boner smoking some good shit in Vancouver just yesterday.
    lit it up using the Olympic flame.

    the asshole had two hot honky whores hanging off of him.
    can’t believe he is still using the growing pains card to score some prime trim.
    i asked him if he knew that his family was looking for him.
    he said “fuck Chekov”.

    Fuck Chekov, indeed.

  10. chick

    @ SO RIGHT:

    God is a man-made concept to help people deal with the unknown. Do you still believe that god creates thunder?

  11. Aaron

    “…people put their minds to things they realize evolution makes more sense “than Jesus running the first Jurassic Park.”

    and this comes from a guy who beleived that it was a good idea for his pedofile boyfriend to open a daycare center…

  12. Ashley

    “especially since science can’t explain about 85% of what happens in the world.”

    And where did you pull those awesome statistics from? Science can’t explain everything, but can at least work towards doing so unlike faith. Notice it’s called faith btw, not fact.

    On that note, Kirk Cameron is a tool. It’s one thing to be faithful and keep your faith to yourself. It’s a whole other shabang when you’re trying to spread your message of stupidity to the masses like this guy does. Take your banana Kirk, and stick it up your ass. Peace!

  13. Jim Jones

    @5:
    You’re an idiot. Try cracking open a science book. Science can describe this world and universe with startling accuracy. Just because you haven’t educated yourself since the 1500s doesn’t mean scientific knowledge hasn’t advanced. There’s also the little thing about logic and reason fueling scientific discover, as opposed to random beliefs and the absence of any proof (the definition of belief).

  14. Cocklips

    We’re pulling for you, boner!

    /obvs

  15. Wow… that might be the worst statement ever! I think Kirk is a boner.

  16. Giorgio!

    Kirk is looking good as always, there is nothing wrong with having strong faith as long as you are not judgmental.

  17. Aaron

    Kirk *IS* a good guy. Maybe he wasn’t always, but I think he is now. Religious beliefs aside.

    And “SO RIGHT” the reason “God/Jesus makes a whole lot more sense than some big bang evolution theory” is because you’re so confused you just melded two completely separate things (the big bang theory and evolutionary biology).

    God/Jesus makes a whole lot more sense because for most people a wave of the hand and a “God did it” is easier to grasp than quantum mechanics, the physics of subatomic particles, red shift, (and so on and so forth).

    Everybody can feel free to call me a moron for being a person of faith (Christian) but I realize the scientific method works in such a way as to indicate where my faith contradicts verified repeatable objective empirical scientific knowledge my faith is most likely wrong.

  18. THE TRUTH

    @17

    +1

  19. KWDragon

    Let’s remember the real issue here:

    A man, who is severely depressed by all accounts, is missing. Kirk Cameron, an A-league tool, is using this opportunity to plug his lame syndicated show (DVD sales?), his faith (reaching out in prayer), and his miraculous ability to soak up any douche related spotlight.

    I hope this Andrew guy is safe and sound.

    I further hope that scientists can use dinosaur DNA to recreate a raptor, which we can release in Kirk Cameron’s house.

  20. tired

    Science is also a leap of faith, given that it can’t explain the origins of the universe, why the universe works as it does, or why the earth supports life in perfect harmony. Or was it just magic? Matter was created from nothing? I am a man of faith and I also believe in what science has shown us. Science has not disproven anything that I believe in. Yes, there are people that blindly follow the Bible, just as there are those that blindly follow evolution and big bang theories. They’re both likely to be wrong.

    But, to the point, I am utterly amazed at the hatred that spews forth from you so-called self-enlightened people. What makes you better than Kirk Cameron, or Lady GaGa for that matter? Get out of your glass houses before the walls come tumbling down on you.

  21. KWDragon

    @20

    You do realize you are on a site called The Superficial, don’t you?

    If we are not high-minded enough for you, perhaps you should sail your boat of righteous indignation and dock at PBS for all of your entertainment news.

  22. whitney

    where is kirk’s corn buddy with his banana?

  23. Aaron

    “Science is also a leap of faith…”

    No, science is not a leap of faith. Science is a process. The only reason you consider it a leap of faith is because you don’t want to invest the effort (time/energy) into studying it. So you say you just have to take some scientist’s word for it.

    Believing a SCIENTIST is a leap of faith. Believing SCIENCE is not.

  24. Aaron

    Also, since this is The Superficial, I must say I am disappointed by the fact that we’ve only had two topics posted so far today and they’ve both featured gay dudes.

    Bring back the chicks in bikinis, please.

  25. wtf

    Let’s have a heated debate about religion on thesuperficial.com!!! Where America gets its most important news…

  26. Sapa

    THE BIG BANG IS A THEORY! HENCE “THE BIG BANG THEORY”MUST REMEMBER SCIENCE THOUGHT THE WORLD WAS FLAT AND AS FAR AS RELIGON….. SHUT IT!

    ALL THE 3 MAJOR RELIGONS PRAY TO THE SAME GOD. AND YOU’RE ALL STILL KILLING EACH OTHER WHILE TRYING TO “SAVE” EACH OTHER, SO……..SHUT IT!

    AN EDUCATED GUESS VS. FAITH…..PFFFFTTTTTT!

    IT’S A WASH……

    BOOZE AND SEX BABY! BOOZE AND SEX…….

  27. Uncleangry

    You know evolution went and put tgether a little something for everyone that thinks it is impossible for a beast to evolve from a water swimming creature to a land walking air breathing thinga-ma-bob.

    Don’t believe me?

    Have you seen a frog lately?

    That was the sound of your mind being blown…you’re welcome.

  28. Richard McBeef

    @20 – Nobody is blindly following science, as by definition science needs facts to support hypotheses. Blindly following is believing in zombie motherfuckers that rise up and can walk on water. Where’s your supporting data?

    Those zealots that popped up for the elton john’s fabulous jesus will be back at it today.

  29. havoc

    Gotta love Kirk’s I’m-going-to-heaven-and-you’re-not grin on his face……

    Vancouver’s a junkie town. He’s dead or holed up somewhere.

    .

  30. Jim Jones

    @20:
    Actually science explains all those things except the origins of the universe. Try reading up on evolution, or reading Hawkings A Brief History of Time. He goes into the workings of the universe quite a bit. There are limits to what our technology can explain at this point, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to throw my hands up in the air and proclaim “God did it!” simply because we lack to the tools or capacity to understand.

    Science hasn’t disproven anything religious because that is outside the realm of science.

    Acknowledging someone as an idiot is a far cry from spewing hatred.

  31. Jim Jones

    @25:
    I’d say the depth and coverage on thesuperficial.com is comparable to that of most news sources, especially if its letters begin with FOX…

  32. yummy bananas

    Science Teacher: What is Ba + Na2?
    Kirk Cameron: Banana!!!!!!!!!!!

  33. Walter

    I’m confused. Is Kirk praying for Boner or for a boner? He is a bit old now.

  34. Gr8Mustache

    Acknowledging that Kirk Cameron made a statement about his child-hood friend’s current predicament just so you can beat up Christians and Christianity is pretty pathetic. He’s irrelevant, so why recognize him? But, contrary to what most people who post here will assume, I understand that this is a satirical site so I won’t worry about the rantings of a gossip queen too much.

    @26 – “ALL THE 3 MAJOR RELIGONS PRAY TO THE SAME GOD.” I assume you’re talking about Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. I understand why you say Christians and Jews pray to the same God, but saying Muslims and Jews/Christians have the same God is just plain ignorant. Take the advice of some of the pro-evolution/science posters here and do some research.

    I happen to be a Christian that believes that God and evolution can co-exist. Christians that completely ignore science don’t do us any favors. However, the science-only types that blindly beleive the accepted science of the day look pretty stupid when news like “Global Warming is a farce” comes along. How many of you gave Al Gore $$ for carbon offsets? Real smart.

  35. Mimi

    Fish, I LOVE when you use any opportunity to slam god/jesus.

    It’s exactly how I feel. It’s a big sham.

    and to the other idiots who think otherwise, yes, everything can be explained through science. Just because some people refuse to read about it or test things out doesn’t mean it’s “not explained.” They just choose to be ignorant.

    How do you think greek mythology came about? I hope christianity gets downgraded to mythology one day.

  36. Kirk Cameron's abortion doctor

    @34…

    Nope, you’re the ignorant one. Let me explain.

    The Jews have a god, aka The Lord.

    When the Christians came along, they added The Lord to Jesus. So now, The Lord + Jesus = The Lord Jesus Christ.

    A few hundred years later, a group of semites (yes, Arabs are a semitic people) who also acknowledged The Lord (not The Lord Jesus Christ, yo), along w/ a few other various gods were converted into rebuking those other gods, and only worshiping The Lord. They honored the man who taught them this, Mohammed, as well as all previous prophets, like Jesus, Moses, Abraham, etc.

    But The Lord is still The Lord, for Jew & Christian & Muslim, and it is a Great Mystery why all his followers love to kill each other. Which they do. They can’t get enough of that sweet, sweet, killing. Buckets of blood & gore, never ending. What requires a Leap of Faith is believing that The Lord is also a God of Love.

    It is my personal belief that to reconcile all this, along w/ that Leap of Faith, a healthy dose of insanity helps as well.

  37. III

    I just want to know why is it that if we come from monkey’s, why aren’t monkey’s producing more humans? Yet they still give birth but you’ve never seen a human come from a monkey or monkey come from a human. Looking at the chart they use to describe how we came about from a dot, to animal, to a cave man, to a full human. So then where did the female come from?

  38. Aaron

    @34: “Global Warming is a farce”

    Uhh, I don’t know how to break this to you, but anthropogenic climate change (global warming due to human activity) is for real. Lomborg is not only a kook, he’s a lying sack of shit too. But don’t let facts get in your way there, Einstein.

    @37: “So then where did the female come from?”

    Adam’s rib, of course.

  39. Brandon

    @37
    Your lack of knowledge of evolution is both funny and sad. I’ll assume you’re genuinely interested rather than just trying to be snarky since the answer to your question is rather elementary: http://www.talkorigins.org/indexcc/CC/CC150.html

  40. Kirk Cameron

    What people need to recognize is that it is Kirk Cameron who is the one who preaches to us non-believers, so us taking a few shots back at him is part of the game. If he left us alone, we’d leave him and his banana alone.

    One thing that religion/faith can never prove is that there is only one true god. If you believe that science does not explain everything I rather agree, but how that legitimizes the one true god notion over a bunch of “gods” is beyond me.

  41. Brandon

    @26
    You clearly don’t know how the word “theory” is used in science: http://www.notjustatheory.com/

    Evolution is as solid as scientific theories get. It’s common sense now, and you people that don’t think it happened are akin to still thinking the earth is flat or that diseases are just demons inside your body.

  42. Beth

    Wow…nothing seems to get people going more than Christianity in Hollywood. Can’t understand why people get so fired up when the extremely occasional celebrity embraces Christianity. Is is really that big of a threat that you have to wish death on a man who just loves the Lord?

  43. Brandon

    @42
    It’s one thing to “love the lord.” It’s another to go around, spreading lies and trying to destroy science’s legitimacy just because you’re too stupid or ignorant to seek or understand the truth yourself. That is what Mr. Cameron has done with evolution.

    I’m saying this as nicely as I can say it, but FUCK Kirk Cameron.

  44. boo

    Leaving religion aside for a moment, what I find interesting is KC stating that he has not been in touch with “Boner”(who, by some accounts, was “lost” long before he actually went missing) for several years but now that he is missing and in the news, he wants to reach out to him.

  45. Nick

    Kirk Cameron just said he would pray for “Boner”. He did not discuss how the world was made. We should all pray for “Boner” that he comes home safe. People are quick to jump and insult christian beliefs. So what, he believes in Jesus… that’s his business. If you don’t believe in God.. That’s your business. We all answer for what we do on this earth.. So when the end comes we will see who’s right and who’s wrong.

  46. The Listener

    Here’s something to think about.

    The universe is so mathematically precise that scientists have great confidence in the facts and laws that years of research and testing have proven to be true.

    And the Earth has the EXACT conditions necessary to sustain life rotating on its axis at a 23 1/2 degree tilt while revolving around the sun creating seasons and years.

    Yet so many would rather give credit to a random convergence of events that led to the creation of the universe even though the statistical probability of all of these events resulting in its creation is extremely low.

    Shouldn’t the mathematical precision of the universe be evidence enough that someone designed it?

  47. Brandon

    @46
    But you’re putting the cart before the horse. Of course the conditions on Earth are perfect for life, us being here is proof of that. It also explains why every other planet we’ve researched doesn’t seem to have life on it. Why should one accept that as the reason for the existence of god? I’ve never understood this argument. The odds at winning the lottery are also quite small, yet someone manages to do it just about every drawing. Why, then, is it such a leap to you that at least one planet out of trillions and trillions throughout the universe is capable of supporting life without divine guidance? Basic statistics lesson: something being improbably does not make it impossible.

    And what mathematical precision of the universe are you going off about? Again, you’re looking at everything billions of years after it was created and spawned you and saying, “Wow, everything is so perfect now it must have been designed!” Are you forgetting the the first several millions of years Earth existed it had conditions that could not sustain any life? In fact, life on earth is a relatively recent occurance. Does that mean your make-believe god just screwed around for all that time before making earth inhabitable?

  48. twzzlrgirl

    “Police believe Boner is alive which means he’s been around way longer than four hours. Might want to call a doctor.”

    LOL — Fish, with all these nitwits fighting over the bible, am I the ONLY person who caught this joke and is ROFLMAO???

    Hilarious!!

  49. Brandon

    @48
    Yeah, you’re rolling on the floor laughing about a dick joke and WE’RE the nitwits… Right…..

  50. tard

    Ha ha. People arguing about evolution vs god on a internet forum. It does not matter if you win the special Olympics…

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