Not now, Kirk Cameron
Because there’s nothing a severely depressed Boner wants to be reminded of more than the fact he’ll always be remembered as Boner, Kirk Cameron issued the following statement to RadarOnline complete with ham-fisted Growing Pains reference:
“I am very concerned to hear of the disappearance of my old friend Andrew Koenig. Although I have not had contact with him for many years, I can remember many of the fun times we had on the set of Growing Pains. I am praying for his family during this time of distress and for his safe return. If you’re reading this, please call me. Mike and Boner could always work things out when they put their minds to it. I’m praying for you, pal. Hope to hear from you soon.”
Good effort, Kirk Cameron, except you forgot when people put their minds to things they realize evolution makes more sense than Jesus running the first Jurassic Park. Pat Robertson will be by to collect your Bible.
NOTE: Police believe Boner is alive which means he’s been around way longer than four hours. Might want to call a doctor.