Noah Cyrus’ 13th Birthday Party Looks Appropriate

January 10th, 2013 // 127 Comments

Ah, 13. That special age in a young girl’s life when her parents let her dress like a prostitute and rent an entire nightclub so everyone can get drunk. This is what makes our country great. This is why we’re great.

Photos: Pacific Coast News

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  1. Trace Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    You look like an asshole.

  2. Liam Hemsworth Miley Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice tights, Hemsworth.

  3. anonym

    some fucked up genes in the family

  4. catapostrophe

    “This is what makes our country’s great.”

    Another server glitch?

  5. Trace Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    FUCKBEAST
    Commented on this photo:

    meth.

  6. she’s so ugly! she probably will be beauty when she is older but now… my gosh.

  7. Trace Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Sardonic
    Commented on this photo:

    Erasing himself from the Cyrus family one tattoo at a time. 23 and almost out of canvas. His face should be fully inked in time for Noah’s 14th BDay
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiUMONxhSpI

  8. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    o'chunt
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck am I looking at?

  9. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    o'chunt
    Commented on this photo:

    No, seriously, what the fuck is that?

  10. Billy Ray Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Shitz
    Commented on this photo:

    What a fucking waste of a Taylor.

  11. Trace Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Shitz
    Commented on this photo:

    The face tats clearly show the confidence the young man has in never having to work a day in his worthless life.

  12. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Noah Cyrus is a tranny?

    Oh, Billy Ray gave his girl a boy name. Nevermind.

  13. Liam Hemsworth Miley Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Jennifer B
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks cheap. Like her sister.

  14. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Jentilly
    Commented on this photo:

    Hope they fix her teeth for her

  15. Billy Ray Cyrus Tish Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    JANE
    Commented on this photo:

    Gotta hand it to her… she looks amazing in general, better than 20 year olds and she’s had what, 4-5 kids?

  16. Liam Hemsworth Miley Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Jentilly
    Commented on this photo:

    Hope knows what kind of family he’s marrying into…

  17. Trace Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Jentilly
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow he’s so cool!!

  18. Trace Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Leelee
    Commented on this photo:

    Geesh… someone needs a binky.

  19. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    whalen ng
    Commented on this photo:

    dude! what is that thing?! it’s scary! but at the same time, i feel my wood growing… get it? my pe-pe is getting really hard and my sack is starting to shrivel as i get ready to spew my man load on the monster’s face!

  20. Liam Hemsworth Miley Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Gloop
    Commented on this photo:

    Run, Liam. Run and don’t look back.

  21. Yoda Mann

    Whoreiffic.

    That’s trademarked, hands off.

  22. Inbred, tailer park trash!

  23. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    John Travolta
    Commented on this photo:

    What…doesn’t even look like she lost her baby molars yet. WTF is wrong with parents…

  24. Trace Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Tinka
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that his real ear? Very elfish. I have nothing negative to say about his tattoos or his hair, but judging by an earlier photo, he needs new pants.

  25. Bella Thorne Tristan Klier Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Sack
    Commented on this photo:

    What the hell is Bryan Adams doing it the Munster family event?

  26. Trace Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Walt
    Commented on this photo:

    I see bald in his near future

  27. Adam

    What the fuck is this?!?!?!!? Who in their right mind would celebrate the anniversary of this abomination?!??!

  28. grobpilot

    Is this girl number 1 in the next cycle of three dead celebrities? Looking pretty gray, there.

  29. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Leyla
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, perhaps her event wasn’t age appropriate. Nothing about this situation is okay, but I don’t think you describing Noah as “looking like a prostitute” is acceptable in any way.

    So many celebrities wear shorter skirt and leather jackets, then are pointed out as “stylish” or “edgy”. To compare Noah to a prostitute when so many others in that same hollywood lifestyle are dressing the same and being appreciated for it, is both disgusting and unacceptable. You’re essentially shaming a young girl for attempting to live up to what has been promoted and advertised as an ideal. She is 13, she will try to look older. It’s up to her parents, herself, and perhaps a stylist to decide what is acceptable, not you. Saying she “looks like a prostitute” is hypocritical.

  30. HillBilly Ray

    Looks like the circus is in town … No; wait — it’s just the Cyrus family.

  31. inkydink

    sweet jeebus. which one is uglier…the kid sister or the brother. another white trash family makes good in hollyweird.

  32. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Johnny
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh cool. She got a clown to do her party.

  33. surlygirl

    That awkward moment when you realize what you thought was a dress when you left the house is really just a ripped up tank top.

  34. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    VC
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know Noah was BFF’s with Zac Hanson…!

  35. Bella Thorne Tristan Klier Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Mely
    Commented on this photo:

    Lol funny ass comment ^ plus no one here at this party is anyone important!

  36. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    M3
    Commented on this photo:

    hahahaha

  37. She looks like Dakota Fanning :)

  38. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Throb the Wonder Mule
    Commented on this photo:

    Next generation expensive prostitutes finish their first round of training………

  39. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Noahcyrusisannyoing
    Commented on this photo:

    Noah Cyrus is a brat.her twitter status use to be “I’m awesome” I mean seriously!!! and why is she wearing my flag!!! she’s not even british.

  40. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Big Earl likes 'em jung
    Commented on this photo:

    I feel a swelling in my pants.. oh, sorry – just my colostomy bag.

  41. me

    who got raped that night?????????

  42. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    sami
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like 10

  43. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Megan
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s awkward enough that this child was allowed to dress like this for her *THIRTEENTH* birthday party without her parents saying anything but it’s so much worse that Miley herself did her up!! What the fuck is she thinking?! I’m 18 and if I had a little sister who was this age I would NOT dress her up like a baby prostitute in red lipstick and red leather and a dress that barely covers her private parts. I mean, this is her 13th birthday, last week she was TWELVE?! And she’s having a party in a nightclub?! Dear God.

  44. Trace Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    James Upbacashel
    Commented on this photo:

    Trace….hehh hehh…..trayyyycceeeeee….HAH!! :-)

  45. Trace Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    James Upbacashel
    Commented on this photo:

    trayyyyyycccceeeeeeee… YOU GO, BOY!!!! :-D

  46. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Commented on this photo:

    I swear to God she looks like a ghost because she puts too much powder on her face. I think she’s trying to fit in like her sister, Miley but thats just not how the way it is. Goshhhh she’s just 13. What a spoiled brat!

  47. Jodie

    Lol, look at her pulling down her dress. What a twat

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