Noah Cyrus’ 13th Birthday Party Looks Appropriate

January 10th, 2013 // 127 Comments

Ah, 13. That special age in a young girl’s life when her parents let her dress like a prostitute and rent an entire nightclub so everyone can get drunk. This is what makes our country great. This is why we’re great.

Photos: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. Enidaj

    Gawd, she is one ugly child.

  2. I can’t tell if that’s Miley Cyrus’s slutty younger sister, Noah Cyrus, or Hannah Montana’s slutty younger sister, Tonya Montana.

  3. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    The One Who Got Away
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow she looks like an old woman. Gross.

  4. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, she does appear to have just left a store called “skeezers”

  5. Schweddy Snatch

    What the hell? The Cyrus spawn look like characters out of “Coraline.”

  6. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    The One Who Got Away
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow she looks like a nasty old woman.

  7. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    olive loaf
    Commented on this photo:

    fug doesn’t even begin to describe her face and body.

  8. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    vagina rocks
    Commented on this photo:

    Ewww she looks like a clown.

  9. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Daddy Pimp always keeps close by, in case you get any ideas ho!

  10. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like the clone that came out wrong.

  11. Billy Ray Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    KRNL
    Commented on this photo:

    “Cause I gotta have faith”

  12. Honestly, I’m surprised he let her buy that purse with the Union Jack on it. Doesn’t that just help King George finance his upcoming plans to attack and reclaim the colonies?

  13. Cock Dr

    Bad parenting. Very very bad.
    Not the worst though. Those Lohans have the crown firmly slenched in their nicotine stained fingers.

  14. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    pornolicious
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she retarded or something? Seriously.
    ANd wow she is really ugly and looks to be about 6 years old

  15. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    booya
    Commented on this photo:

    By the looks of her colorless face, Patrick Swayze is her dad.

  16. vandinz

    FUCK! That is an ugly kid.

  17. Billy Ray Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Commented on this photo:

    This man has no business with a guitar.

  18. WTF…..hello BAD parenting!

  19. Nate

    Noah strikes me as some one that will do anything for fame. Although doubtful she still has time to gown out of it.

  20. Billy Ray Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, is that the guy that drove the “Pussy Wagon” in Kill Bill?

  21. Liam Hemsworth Miley Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Commented on this photo:

    See, if we had the Zoom function back, we could all tell that Miley’s going braless again and this would get a hell of a lot more pageviews.

  22. Billy Ray Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Billy Ray is the most attractive of the whole cyrus clan. That’s pretty fucking sad.

  23. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    She dresses that way to go hang out at the mall?

  24. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    stine
    Commented on this photo:

    I liked these more when I thought Noah was her cross-dressing brother

  25. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    cocoa
    Commented on this photo:

    yeeeeeeeeeeeesh

  26. rrr

    aww come on this girl is just a child- at that age lots of children make bad clothing decisions till they learn what suits them- poor girl give her a chance

  27. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that’s what attics are for.

    • dontkillthemessenger

      I’m not quite sure what this means, but I laughed anyway.

      WTF is going on with this girl’s face? Why does it look like a flash is constantly going off? No one else’s face looks like that. Maybe she dipped her head in the Cyrus family Bucket O’ Booger Sugar.

  28. Liam Hemsworth Miley Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    bewbs
    Commented on this photo:

    How does Amber Rose know these rednecks?

  29. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Randal
    Commented on this photo:

    That kid looks kind of “off”. By “off” I mean “Pepper-from-American-Horror-Story” kind of “off”.

  30. Brit

    She’s so ugly, the Pedo Bear does not approve.

  31. Trace Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Nope, no issues here. Nice job Cyrus clan.

    Jezus – he looks like the creepy kid from Wedding Crasher that tied up Vince Vaughn and drew naked pictures of him… but scarier?

  32. Trace Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    What a glamorous family.

  33. Liam Hemsworth Miley Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry, but that kid is ugly,.

  34. CatwithaC

    Are these people related to the Kardashians??? So inappropriate!!

  35. She’s ugly enough to be one of Bruce Willis’ kids!

  36. We’re picking on 13 yr-old kids now, Fish? Yeah, her sister and father are famous and stupid, but she’s just along for the ride. Can’t we at least wait until she gets a learner’s permit before we shit all over her?

    • jus sayin

      I’m with you Uncle Phil, picking on a little kids seems very harsh..I guess none of the neandrathals on this site have stepped away from their cheezies and computers long enough to find someone to impregnate with their spawn. She is a little girl, with parents who obviously have dubious judgement. Would you want your kids to read comments like this about themselves.? Trash adults all you want but little kids should be off limits. Shame on Fish, shame on you all!

  37. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Billy Ray did such good work with Miley and he seems to be on the right track with this one too. She’s got no chance in hell of being normal.

  38. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Commented on this photo:

    How long before he starts pimping this one out to Disney or Nickelodeon?

  39. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Commented on this photo:

    If my daughter ever tried to leave the house dressed like that, she’d be shipped off to a convent. on mars.

  40. Trace Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    crazyrooster
    Commented on this photo:

    what a bag o’ douche. The laser tattoo removal folks are going to make a killing in about 10yrs off of all these d-ass hipsters…

  41. Trace Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    mrsmass
    Commented on this photo:

    what the fuck is this?

  42. Trace Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Diet Mountain Dew
    Commented on this photo:

    Achy Breaky ‘Tard.

  43. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Carolyn
    Commented on this photo:

    Just hideous.

  44. Trace Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Diet Mountain Dew
    Commented on this photo:

    Are those banana tattoos under his eye?

  45. Trace Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    John Travolta
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice receding hairline dickweed.

  46. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    Close up doesn’t help…

  47. Trace Cyrus Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s just one cry for attention after another with this family, huh?

  48. Unless some things change considerably, this girl needs to become a good dancer…or SOMETHING!

  49. Noah Cyrus 13th Birthday Party
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Make-up by “Joker”

Leave A Comment