Noah Cyrus Is A Thing Now, There Is… Another… Mulletspawn…

I honestly thought we were done with the Cyruses. I mean, Miley Cyrus’ vagina has been on the internet so many times now, it’s basically Pepe the Frog, so I figured they were all out of plays. Boy, was I wrong. Apparently someone got Billy Ray Cyrus’ mullet wet back in 2000, and now we have Noah Cyrus. She performed “Make Me (Cry)” at last night’s iHeartRadio Music Awards and sounds like Miley on day four of a bad chest cold. She also turned 17 in January, which means Papa Billy just bought himself a whole year’s worth of fringed leather jackets and fingerless gloves in pedophile anticipation cash. But joking aside, this shit’s starting all over again isn’t it?

“Now darlin’, I see that you wore a heart over your cameltoe tonight. That’s good. But remember our plan.”
“Yes, papa. First wholesome, then I put my butthole on everything as soon as it’s legal.”
*wipes tear* “Y’all just grow up so fast!”

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