Noah Cyrus Never Stood A Chance

If someone were to ask me who’s more hopelessly doomed: Noah Cyrus or Kendall and Kylie Jenner, my first response would be to shoot them in the teeth for asking me about work past 9 a.m. and be perfectly justified in doing so. #Merica After that, I’d eventually give it some thought before realizing fucked is just fucked, and go about my day thinking about literally anything more important. Like this penny for example. Will I place it in a jar? Or perhaps toss it in a well? Oh, what adventures it might have!

Photos: Instagram