Kevin Smith Says Nikki Finke’s DC Comics Movie List Is ‘Completely Legit’

June 18th, 2014 // 47 Comments
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Like any nerd worth his mint on card penis safely sealed in a Mylar bag, Wednesdays are when I scurry down to the local comic shop to spend my hard-earned money on 32-pages of chiseled dudes in tights, and because I can, I’m dragging you down into the mud with me. – *grabs you by the wrists while laughing just a little too hard* – Last week, Nikki Finke not only launched her new website with a logo that will crush all other logos before it, but also with an exclusive story detailing Warner Bros./DC Comic movies for the next four years that will supposedly be announced at Comic-Con next month. For those of you with lives and functioning sex organs, here’s the list:

May 2016 – Batman v Superman
July 2016 – Shazam
Xmas 2016 – Sandman
May 2017 – Justice League
July 2017 – Wonder Woman
Xmas 2017 – Flash and Green Lantern team-up
May 2018 – Man Of Steel 2

Despite four out of the seven movies having already been announced, there’ve been some doubts about the rest of the list bringing up facts like, oh I dunno, The CW is already launching a Flash show this fall. However, because Kevin Smith has a camera hidden up Ben Affleck‘s ass, he’s confirming Nikki Finke’s list is the same one Warner Bros. showed him. Via Comics Alliance:

According to Kevin Smith, speaking on his Hollywood Babble-On podcast, the DC movie lineup released last week is completely legit.
“I looked at [the] list, and I was like, that’s what I heard. That’s what I was told,” he said.

Of course, none of this matters because Comics Alliance also reports Warner Bros. is basically copying Marvel right down to making Darkseid the main villain in Justice League. Darkseid a gray, hulking space-god thing just like Thanos who, granted, was Marvel Comics answer to Darkseid – *adjusts glasses* – will have appeared twice in movie theaters by the end of this summer. (He’ll be voiced by Josh Brolin in Guardians of the Galaxy.) So basically we’ll be seeing the same shit over and over again because Hollywood is out of ideas, and I’ll still pay to see it anyway because my only other options are movies based on Young Adult novels. This is why I think about just starting a drug habit. You meet all kinds of interesting people.

Thanos Darkseid

Know which one is Darkseid and which one is Thanos? Congratulations, you’re dying alone. (Via Comic Vine)

Photo: Jim Lee/DC Comics

superficial

  1. kenny

    Who made Kevin Smith the comic book movie guru? The guy’s movies blow chunks.

  2. I really have no idea what the fuck most of this is about, but when I saw “Shazam” I immediately thought about ritualistic suicide.

    Then I remembered I don’t have any idea what “Shazam” is and I was confusing it with “Kazaam” which I unfortunately am aware of.

  3. Cock Dr

    I think I must need some sort of special secret decoder ring to understand all this nonsense.

  4. Short Round

    I may be reaching my saturation point with comic movies but I’m not interested in any of these except for Wonder Woman. If they don’t screw it up like the TV series that story has promise and potential. Beyond a hot chick in a costume I mean.

    • They got to be sure to show some tits!

      • Did you know the original Wonder Woman featured BDSM?

        Yep:

        http://thegeekwhisperer.com/2009/01/20/wonder-woman-the-super-secret-kinky-origin-of-a-feminist-icon/

        Wonder Woman hit newsstands in 1941 and was a different kind of superhero created by a different kind of writer. Her creator was William Moulton Marston, a middle-aged WASP who studied law and psychology at Harvard. He was one of the few early comic creators who was older, well educated, and not Jewish.

        The Wonder Woman comics penned by Marston were packed with bondage, spankings, enslavement, and punishment of both men and women. Every single Wonder Woman comic that Marston created depicted bondage and a myriad of other sexual fetishes (Jones 209). While Wonder Woman was at a basic level, a super-heroic icon for young girls, it was not until many decades later, when the Wonder Woman TV show started airing, that Marston’s intent was fully realized.

  5. Which Sandman is this? Neil Gaiman’s Sandman or Wesley Dodd aka Sandman? I’d be interested in Gaiman’s version.

  6. My annotated rating of the probable success of these films:

    May 2016 – Batman v Superman–Very good chance as both heroes have a major fanbase and are widely recognised by the non-comics fan public
    July 2016 – Shazam–aka Captain Marvel. He sucks and hasn’t been relevant for decades. Who the hell greenlighted this?
    Xmas 2016 – Sandman–Neil Gaiman’s version! Well, if it’s done right, it’ll be great…but the chances of it being done right aren’t good.
    May 2017 – Justice League–Will be the biggest movie of Summer 2017 because Batman and Superman will draw them in
    July 2017 – Wonder Woman–Has a good chance and they picked the right actress for the role (Gal Gadot).
    Xmas 2017 – Flash and Green Lantern team-up–Both are minor and boring heroes. A superspeedy hero is very problematic (which is why they had to exclude Quicksilver from the rest of The X-Men: Days of Future Past after he broke Magneto out of prison, because it was clear at that point that everybody else was superfluous) as he doesn’t have any real weaknesses that an enemy can exploit. At least the Green Lantern has a weakness (the colour yellow, which means he can’t fight anybody holding a banana).
    May 2018 – Man Of Steel 2-If Batman v Superman and the Justice League movie do as well as I predict, this one will be a slam dunk.

    • Good break down, but in regards to “July 2017 – Wonder Woman–Has a good chance and they picked the right actress for the role (Gal Gadot).”

      I think they chose the wrong actress to play Wonder Woman, but that’s the least of DC’s offenses.

    • Shazam may not be very popular but I see this movie can do well if they market it to kids. After all he’s a kid who turns into an adult superhero with some pretty cool powers.

      The Flash is in no way a minor superhero. He may not be as popular as Batman/Superman/Wonder Woman, but he is just as much an important part of the Justice League as any of them. A version of The Flash has been in every incarnation of the Justice league and Teen Titans iirc. He’s also my favorite DC superhero.

      CW better do justice to Flash with this series.

      • Shazam! is the magic word Billy Batson uses to turn into Captain Marvel. The actual superhero name is Captain Marvel, of course, the “captain of the lightning and the thunder”. He’s considered the equal in power to Superman.

      • He used to be called Shazam, now he’s Captain Marvel. Or is it the other way around? It’s changed back and forth through the years.

      • Yeah The Flash is a minor superhero because he can’t carry a series on his own.

        The Flash is boring. He’s too fast. Same problem as Superman: too powerful. The Flash can move so fast that not even Superman can catch him.

        Problem is, how do you make characters like that vulnerable? Batman got chewed by dogs in the films; Spiderman isn’t bulletproof; Iron Man has weak spots, too. Aquaman has to lure his opponents into a boat or submarine or an aquarium before he can fight them, and the Green Lantern is helpless against any opponent in a giant banana costume (his ring doesn’t work against the colour yellow for some reason too stupid to explain).

        Nope, I don’t like superheroes who are too super. That’s why I don’t like The Flash, Superman or Captain Marvel.

      • Flash has a decent Rogues gallery they can use to give him some competition. Remember the old series from the 90s starring John Wesley Shipp? That was a pretty good series.

        They can make it work if they use the source material properly. If you haven’t seen the animated movie The Flashpoint Paradox, I highly recommend it.

      • The way the cartoon portrayed Captain Marvel/Shazam was wonderful. Obviously as Billy Baston, he was a kid, but even as Shazam, he was an adult with a childlike wonderment stuck in a gigantic muscular body. The Rock would be perfect for such a character.

    • Mike Walker

      You must weigh 300lb.

    • With the right script and director, all of these have a chance. Who would have thought Captain American 2 (I know it’s Marvel) would have been such a hit this summer beating Spider-Man 2?

      DC has to take chances and not stick with the same flash in the pan director and writers. If they were smart, they would grab Edgar Wright and trust his vision on one of the tier 2 or 3 super heroes.

  7. JimBB

    Well, at least this will finally silence the hordes of people demanding a Shazam movie.

  8. Hopalong

    If you F-up Sandman, so help me DC/Warner Bros.

  9. But a Suicide Squad movie would be a horrible choice…

  10. Darkseid is pretty badass. I’ve never seen Thanos in action but I know he’s very powerful. Thanos vs Darkseid is battle that can destroy a planet.

  11. They have absolutely proved my point, if this list is true, that they want what Marvel has without any of the effort Marvel put in.

  12. Thank god. If there’s anyone whose word you can trust on the inside dope it’s Smith. It’s not like he’s the male Kathy Griffin. It’s not like he’s burned every bridge in Hollywood and is a hypersensitive, egomaniacal douchebag with with no talent who is about 20 years past his expiration date and who 90% of the industry hates. It’s not like that.

  13. Margaret

    May 2016 – Batman v Superman–Very good chance as both heroes have a major fanbase and are widely recognised by the non-comics fan public FOR ME TO POOP ON.
    July 2016 – Shazam–aka Captain Marvel. He sucks and hasn’t been relevant for decades. Who the hell greenlighted this?
    Xmas 2016 – Sandman–Neil Gaiman’s version! Well, if it’s done right, it’ll be great…but the chances of it being done right aren’t good.
    May 2017 – Justice League–Will be the biggest movie of Summer 2017 because Batman and Superman will draw them in
    July 2017 – Wonder Woman–Has a good chance and they picked the right actress for the role (Gal Gadot).
    Xmas 2017 – Flash and Green Lantern team-up–Both are minor and boring heroes. A superspeedy hero is very problematic (which is why they had to exclude Quicksilver from the rest of The X-Men: Days of Future Past after he broke Magneto out of prison, because it was clear at that point that everybody else was superfluous) as he doesn’t have any real weaknesses that an enemy can exploit. At least the Green Lantern has a weakness (the colour yellow, which means he can’t fight anybody holding a banana).
    May 2018 – Man Of Steel 2-If Batman v Superman and the Justice League movie do as well as I predict, this one will be a slam dunk.

  14. Margaret

    darn it, delete that, mister (mister?) i hit enter in the dark. In the Dark.

    Delete this too.

  15. Swearin

    But where the fuck is the stand-alone Aquaman movie?! Jason Momoa =/= Vinnie Chase!

  16. Anyway fuck this:

    WHERE’S MY GODDAMN DOCTOR STRANGE MOVIE I WANT IT NOW MOTHERFUCKERS.

  17. Margaret

    DC stinks with their movies and lack of foresight to tie them together in the same manner that their comics are like the Catholic endorsed version of super hero comic books to keep kids from getting any edgy ideas.

    They are like GOT’s Varys: no balls.

    Dork: out.

  18. cajunhawk

    This is all utter shite…I want a Flaming Carrot movie. Fuck Marvel and DC…it’s all the same damn thing.

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