Nicollette Sheridan in a bikini is the antidote

October 6th, 2008 // 99 Comments

These are shots of Desperate Housewives star Nicollette Sheridan in Malibu yesterday. Will someone explain to me how the hell Michael Bolton breaks up with that? Seriously, she’s got to be the hottest 44-year-old woman on the planet. In fact, if you slapped bikinis on all the hot 44-year-olds out there and put them in a room, Nicollette would own them all. Then again, we should probably make them pillow fight first. Not for me, of course, but for science.

Photos: Flynet
superficial

  1. hmm

    Great gams, I’ll give her that.

    Michael Bolton’s still alive?

  2. Sandy

    nice to know women are only valued for their bodies. i guess their minds and souls mean absolutely squat to all the idiotic, asshole guys now roaming the earth. the age of the gentleman has died and feminism has failed women miserably. it’s all pretty depressing and we should, as a society, be ashamed of ourselves.

  3. #52 – tits or GTFO…

  4. Dorito Man

    I’ll bet she is quite orgasmic. :cool:

  5. Huh???

    @27 & 28

    Who’s that thing up top on the balcony? I don’t know who’s bod that is, but that face is most definitely that of: Gary Busey.

    Tell me I’m wrong. That is freekin’ Gary Busey, that is who that is.

  6. el ces

    Isn’t is Nicky Hilton’s birthday today?

    Fish doesn’t care?

  7. bitingontinfoil

    Gotta admit her body is AWESOME…except for pic #3, where she’s walking away. It’s like she suddenly morphed from 22 yr. hottie body to a hot mess tranny…

  8. wow

    her body is fucking amazing! i am 22 and i will be the first to admit she looks better than me. she looks better, quite frankly, than ANY woman i have ever seen trolling the beach (and i am a lifeguard – i have seen MANY women in swim wear). this just goes to show you, age is only a number…taking care of yourself is what matters…and some genetics.

    her face, however, is another story.

  9. Ted from LA

    #52,
    Sandy,
    You’re right on so many levels. Men are pigs.

  10. This uncertain SLUT………………………………………………………….is american, folks?

  11. #52 what you twying to say here exactwee ?
    Inside job ?
    I guessing you’re having a few problems with free fall collapse speed, the collapse of the financial system, wars, inflatable dates, that type of thing…
    Comments…

  12. Duke Nukem

    lol @53
    smoking body btw. also lol at the idiot saying she is “sucking it in.” No amount of sucking in can form an ass like that.

  13. Michelle Obama

    Binky,

    oo oo oo AAHHHHH AAAHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH!

  14. hannah

    @52 – I am a woman, but I don’t feel like I am a victim because I live in an apparently patriarchal society. The fact that women (including myself) are judged on their bodies has got alot to do with biology, evolution and the desire to reproduce with those with the best quality genes and health status, than it has to do with culture (although culture does play its role). Its not mens’ fault really. Its nature.

    At the end of the day if a woman eats healthy food and exercises regularly, she will be beautiful no matter what. This woman obviously works out & knows what to eat, therefore she looks attractive and men want to have sex with her.

    Personality, intelligence, charm and moral fibre all count a great deal when a guy is attracted enough to a woman to want to have a committed relationship with her. So of course it is important to cultivate these attributes too. But if you can’t attract the opposite sex first, then you probably will lead a life of repeated frustration…

    just sayin’

  15. i want that arse sooo bad yum yum yum mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

    XOXO

  16. Well. Ok. Michelle, #63 ,that’s what all the girl’s say – But I still think I’d vote Nader or Cindy Mckinney. Like ,sorry , but – grace and intelligence doesn’t always cut it – because 9/11 was an Inside Job.
    So, in other news, Nice ass Nicolette. Ok.I don’t watch ‘Housewives’ – Sorry guys- I’m not gay. Are you the singer ? Or are you the Sheridan that did the nude cameo on the cable show ‘The Hitchhiker’ quite a few years ago, ? Not that I’ve seen the show.
    Cliff Notes : You’re getting on topic Bink.
    Binky : Oh. Ok. Sorry….Google “Architects agree with NIST WTC 7″ or “Architects support NIST WTC 7″ and you will find that there are NO architects (other than those contracted by NIST) who will put their name and reputation on the line by supporting the NIST report.
    Cliff Notes :Was that a ‘cut and paste’ Bink ?
    Binky : Look I gave Zim Zam whoever a link…

  17. Arroyo

    @9 = totally right on, CHECK that.

  18. Hambone

    Pay attention to your damn dog, instead of looking around to see who’s looking back at you.

  19. Irena

    that woman is so FREAKIN’ hot! If I has a penis it would be doing 360 right about now! The only thing wrong with her face are those sunken cheeks that seem to be a prob for many skinny older women. BUT, wow! I’d be happy to look like this in my 20′s! Great ass!

  20. Irena

    that woman is so FREAKIN’ hot! If I had a penis it would be doing 360 right about now! The only thing wrong with her face are those sunken cheeks that seem to be a prob for many skinny older women. BUT, wow! I’d be happy to look like this in my 20′s! Great ass!

  21. Irena

    that woman is so FREAKIN’ hot! If I had a penis it would be doing 360 right about now! The only thing wrong with her face are those sunken cheeks that seem to be a prob for many skinny older women. BUT, wow! I’d be happy to look like this in my 20′s! Great ass!

  22. #666 Binkwad – my fav headline from your lame google post was
    “Nist rewrites the laws of physics!!! .. I’ll be taking some of your questions now ….cut the mic damn it!!!!”
    And the linked cartoon.
    So, like,my friend ‘Knee’ from 17th floor come over, and we have – a little bit of popcorn….Then -Chrissie Hynde and The Pretenders are on Letterman – and we both say ‘WoW – What happen to Steve Tyler’s voice ?
    (We just kidding. Chrissie still look amazing.)
    Then we say ‘Hey what happened to the somewhat revolutionary/counterculture aspect to modern music ?’ (Well ok other than rape murder and petty crime hiphop related)
    LAME-O Like ever heard ‘There’s gonna be a Revolution’ you Pretenders ?

  23. Thanks Valtrex, for clearing up the festering, herpetic lesions on the Fish site. (AKA: HorribleJudgement’s posts.) It was the nastiest, most virulent infection this site has ever seen. …And it’s almost cleared up entirely! (no posts for two days now…)

    Once the scaly lesions slough off, there will be no more traces of HJ and it’s scourge of painful boils and irritating posts. We will once again be able to read posts without pain and suffering.

    We promise to be vigilant in spotting future outbreaks, and should WhoribleJudgment rear it’s ugly head again, this time we will be ready.

    Heartfelt apologies to any other websites we may have unknowingly infected with HJ. (Perez– you don’t count. You already have so many STDs, they have already begun producing new strains of drug resistant super-STDs. Besides, we suspect you may have given US the HorribleJudgment infection in the first place. Thanks a lot, Douche.)

  24. Actually ‘Frank’ I was just # 66.

  25. Sorry # 74 .
    I was just transcribing the text message number I received from Sarah Palin and the Southern Baptists.
    So. # 73 ….. Inside job ?

  26. InternetToughGuy

    Haha…I agree with Deacon Jones.

  27. Straight Guy

    This is undoubtably one gorgeous woman. It never fails to offend me how many women haters read this site and bash ANY bikini pic posted by “The Great” superficaial writer. To all you homo’s bashing these pics….You do know that there are Gay Porn websites out there that you could be beating off to ! If you dont enjoy these pics, there is NO hope for you turning hetrosexual.

  28. Straight Guy

    This is undoubtably one gorgeous woman. It never fails to offend me how many women haters read this site and bash ANY bikini pic posted by “The Great” superficaial writer. To all you homo’s bashing these pics….You do know that there are Gay Porn websites out there that you could be beating off to ! If you dont enjoy these pics, there is NO hope for you turning hetrosexual.

  29. Body: great. Face: fucking nightmare on elm street. Wrinkled and haggy. Newsflash Nicolette: all the plastic surgery in the world ain’t going to fix that. Collagen lips much? Face lift much? Seriously, all that stretch skin, and over pumped up fish lips, combined with her wrinkled haggy-ness should make her eligible for a horror film. Great body though.

  30. LiLo for V-Prez 2008

    I think these look better than the pics from last December. She musta got her crap in gear.

    @55 huh??? It might be Tom Cruise or Eric Roberts.

    @64 hannah Pumping your breasts up with toxic waste seems to help, also.

  31. Deacon Jones

    Skinhead mentality? Yes. Overweight, with high school degree? No

    @52
    “Feminism has failed women miserably”

    - Got that right. If you were equal you wouldn’t need to make laws to MAKE you equal

  32. wrinkly elbows

    The elbows tell ALL. WOMEN start moisturizing your fucking elbows in your ASAP(in your 20′s is best). Oh and don’t get fat.
    Her face is FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED(don’t mess with the face ladies if you’re pretty just moisturize and age naturally and stay the fuck out of the sun and tanning beds)
    The body IS impressive to say the least. The implants are unecessary though and add to the desperate aging beauty image.

    and Superfish, Marla Maples (who is 45) is just as hot if not MUCH hotter (her face is far less fucked and the boobs are real methinks). When dressed Nicolette has a distinct manishness about her, when Eva Longwhoria was on SNL they spoofed the housewives doing some stupid photo shoot and they had one of the SNL MEN in a blonde wig play Nicolette, so that says it all.

  33. Cynthia McKinney

    Binky,

    AHHHHHH!!! AAHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHHH!!!! oo oo oo oo.

    I came up with my latest Katrina conspiracy just for you Binky. Talk about your inside jobs!

  34. amei

    she is so sexy…….
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  35. Parker

    She’s got a great ass. I would love to buttfuck her.

  36. As long as a woman can still get it wet, then that is fine by me. I mean come on now, you have seen how fugly Michelle is!

  37. #73, still obsessed with me, huh? Kind of sad, seeing as I’d forgotten about your gay ass. :) You lost, remember? Get a boyfriend, faggy! :)

  38. snackmix

    Her body looks okay, but she looks sad and desperate.

  39. weirdo

    Although I find her face a bit fugly I would certainly be willing to shove my tongue up her fine asshole!

  40. plastique

    Come on, who cares about the Jackie-O shades, that’s one very nice ass.

  41. #73

    Ah, your obsession is indeed reaching scary heights. Stings, doesn’t it? :) . Don’t play around in my world, you look like a goddam idiot.

    I count, you don’t. I will ALWAYS be a winner, and you will ALWAYS be a loser. Yeaaah, you got it :) Don’t play around in my world, you look like a goddam idiot. Remember? Me: winner. You: loser. :)

    Your obsession with me is an ego boost,You’ve really gotten pathetic at this point. Everyone can see how creepy you are and how you simply cannot let go of your obsession with me. Poor, poor you. Anyway, how does it feel do be reduced to this obsession by me? To be so beaten and destroyed by one person? It must hurt. :) But really, I hope you do not ever one day become obsessed with another superficial poster, and refuse to let go of them. Don’t play around in my world, you look like a goddam idiot.

    You’re little effort is so sad. But I’m afraid that you just cannot get to me. It is impossible. Don’t play around in my world, you look like a goddam idiot. Me: winner. You, as you are now proving to everyone: loser.

  42. Drago The Perv

    What a sexy bitch. I’d do her anytime !!

    Oh, and Nicollette is cute too.

  43. hannah

    @80 – fake tits might be attractive from afar but they give away an insecure personality straight away. Think attachment disorder, low self-esteem etc etc.

    All I was trying to say is that working out and eating right is something which enhances a woman’s natural attractiveness. I would also suggest that judging a woman for her attractiveness is also largely a biological phenomenon, and not a cultural one, so complaining about it is inevitably pointless.

  44. tanya

    Cript keeper elbows

  45. mikeym7

    “Fumus – October 6, 2008 2:01 PM

    First!!!”

    You’re a goddamn idiot. What is it with this “first” thing?

  46. sally

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  47. ANTONY

    damn SHE DONT EVEN HAVE A ASS WHAT UP WITH THAT…SHE LOOK LIKE A MAGGOT!!!! NO SHAPE AT ALL!!!!! EWWWWWWWWWW MAGGOT

  48. Cuntress

    NY Ted: You want to put your nose up her ass?

  49. Kalvin

    nicollette Sheridan is so sexy in the bikini i would have sex with her anytme.

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