Nicollette Sheridan in a bikini is the antidote

October 6th, 2008 // 99 Comments

These are shots of Desperate Housewives star Nicollette Sheridan in Malibu yesterday. Will someone explain to me how the hell Michael Bolton breaks up with that? Seriously, she’s got to be the hottest 44-year-old woman on the planet. In fact, if you slapped bikinis on all the hot 44-year-olds out there and put them in a room, Nicollette would own them all. Then again, we should probably make them pillow fight first. Not for me, of course, but for science.

Photos: Flynet

  1. Fumus


  2. Deacon Jones

    Nice. If everyone’s wife / mistress looked like this at 44 we wouldnt need Viagra, Cialis, etc, etc.


  3. I would have sex with her. My dink, would totally do her.

  4. alex

    what a cute puppy!

  5. hoppy

    An old and crazy chick.

    Like Heather Locklear, she is not accepting the march of time gracefully, but is instead unravelling.

  6. SATAN

    Deacon Jones, if everyone’s wife/mistress looked like that they wouldn’t get cheated on and inevitably divorced and left as sour, dried-up old clams.

  7. Yeah, the antidote for boners.

  8. yeah? would you get more movement from a sack of potato in bed?

  9. raggatt

    dyed blond hair – check
    botoxed face – check
    veneered teeth – check
    boob job – check
    overdone pilates – check
    looks like every other plastic bimbo in show biz – check

    BORING!!! – CHECK!

  10. Vince Lombardi

    Can’t get too excited about this. I’ve seen her face. And she’s wearing macrame! I’m sorry, but I stopped letting my daughter wear macrame when she began to develop.

  11. thick

    Her body is great but you can only take so much crap from a biatch

  12. NoName

    She looks great from the stomach down, but those tits are too obviously fake and her face is fucked up.

    I’d still hit that ass though (no need for a bag over her face, I don’t hate her face that much).

  13. Brandon

    Anybody talking trash probably doesn’t look nearly as good as this girl right now, let alone when they’re 44.

  14. There was a time that this would have been the best meal in town. Now it just looks like a Sunday night at the Ponderosa Buffet

  15. bobby carozza

    She’s hittable and any guy who denies it is either gay or lying

  16. Lee

    How can you overdo pilates, #9? The other things in your list I can understand, but overdoing exercise? Give me a break.

  17. ldfnalv

    These pictures enrage jews.

  18. Your Mother's Fart

    I don’t like the flaps of skin on her elbows.

  19. Deacon Jones


    HAHAHAHA! Now THAT’S the best superficial quote ever. For many reasons.

  20. Goober

    2, 6, 9, 11, right-on!

  21. glace neuf

    i would hit at the cross street of wisteria lane and how can we be lovers lane.

  22. NY Ted

    Fish…to answer your question…Bolton is as queer as a 3 dollar bill! He loves little boys…always has…he just puts on the cover act dating a babe every now and then. Plus I have to agree…you’d have to look high and hard to find a 44 year old woman with an ass as tight and perky as Nicollette’s…I’d sure like to park my proboscis in there…!!!

  23. Grunion

    Cleveland Brown

  24. You people have the nerve to find fault with that body?? Holy Hell, no hope for me then. You people have unreasonably high standards, or maybe you are just high. I should be high too. Share, ya assholes

  25. Slut

    “For my money, I don’t know if it gets any better than when he sings “When a Man Loves a Woman”.

  26. sharpeidude

    Michael Bolton quit on that? What a fag.

  27. Dr Feel Good

    That ass is so tight it squeaks when she walks… Who’s the other fine MILF with the full tit hanging off the balcony???

  28. the next guy

    Fine and dandy, sweet as candy….

    but who’s the hottie she’s holding hands with on the deck above – did you get a look at THAT side-boobage… and ass … and smile? My God, I believe THAT woman may still be using her own lips!

    I meant, the smiling kind…

  29. Yeah, how could he break up with her? It probably had something to do with her hideous face, but that’s pure speculation.

  30. norton

    She’s hot, no question but……. two things.

    Great genes.
    Never popped out a kid.

  31. Sarah Palin

    Let us pray that our brave troops stay safe while doing Gods work. Amen!


    After I’m elected I will, in addition to my VP duties, head the new National Faith Based Electorate Institute to ensure that future candidates are truly Christian men and women seeking to advance Christianity in the form of new initiatives such as Crusades and Inquisitions. After all, only REAL Christians should be armed across the planet. We willl ensure that the entire planet believes in Christianity, ushering in the end times!

    (long applause)

    Vote McCain (Palin)



  32. truth

    Go to any college in America and you’ll see that at least half of the women – at half of Nicollette Sheridan’s age – don’t look as good as this. In the midwest and northeast it’s more like 75%. I’m not saying she looks great – I’m not a big admirer of engineered sex products. But most girls in their late teens/early twenties have guts hanging out of their bikinis or pushing through their too-tight/too-short tshirts. It’s a pleasure to see somebody – anybody – who’s not showing that, for once.

  33. PunkA

    I hear she is nuttier than a freaking jar of Planters….

  34. kelley

    Yeah, too bad she looks like the cryptkeeper, and her tits are fake besides.

  35. Deacon Jones


    whah, too bad she looks like the crypt keeper , whah

    Too bad for who? You? Cause your boyfriend would hit it? Too bad for who?

  36. Basically anyone could look like that if they sucking it in as hard as she is. She looks like she’s barely breathing in most of these pictures. Good God that’s sad. To bad she can’t suck in her elbows or back like that.

  37. malicious

    #2 & #6 If every lady were that hot at that age what would you be left with coz they sure as shit wouldn’t be sticking around with your baldy over weight arse when you hit 44.

  38. Deacon Jones

    I figure when I’m 44, I might have to settle for 32, 33.

    As long as they dont talk as much as these frigging 10th graders. Geez, let me tellya!

  39. JPRichardson

    Ho w can anybody have a bad comment on this pictures??? Are you F-ing nuts??? She looks wonderful!!! Not for 44, but for a woman of any age. She’s gorgeous and should serve as inspiration for everyone out there.

    Man, would I do her…!!!

  40. Fernando Narcos

    Simply put,I came

  41. Rusty

    If I were looking for a 44 year old, I would say she’s quite hot. What the fuck do I want with a 44 year old woman? My age range is 25-35.

  42. Air Mail

    Thanks for the pictures Super Fish, made my day!

  43. not a scientist

    Now, I’m not a scientist, but me and the boys down in accounting punched some numbers and came up with the conclusion that Nicolette Sherridan killed some poor (yet gorgerously fit) 16 year old girl, and stuck her head upon the dismembered body. That’s it. Its the only way (besides photoshop) that what we are seeing is 44 years old.

  44. Blackbeard

    You people must be a bunch of shut-ins, living with your mothers, that have never traveled anywhere. I’ve traveled the world, as well as the US, in the Navy and have seen many women who look as good or better than that frankenstein bitch. And they didn’t have or need surgery.

    I would certainly fuck her if she were the last woman available at closing time.

    “some people” need to get out more and stop jacking off to pictures on the internet.

  45. John McCain

    Has anyone seen my keys?

  46. Dobba

    @ Raggat


  47. gnosis

    Deacon Jones, correct me if I’m wrong, but are you an overweight skinhead who dropped out of high school?

  48. SpiderJerusalem

    She’s not bad, but Monica Bellucci is the same age and infinitely hotter.

  49. MassGrrl

    Her body looks great. But 44 is too old for a string bikini.

  50. The tippy toes, stick your ass out and pout “candid” shots just kill me…
    She looks good for 40, thanks to her plastic surgeon (although she does work out, which is good).

Leave A Comment