Nicollette Sheridan in a bikini is the antidote

October 6th, 2008 // 99 Comments

These are shots of Desperate Housewives star Nicollette Sheridan in Malibu yesterday. Will someone explain to me how the hell Michael Bolton breaks up with that? Seriously, she’s got to be the hottest 44-year-old woman on the planet. In fact, if you slapped bikinis on all the hot 44-year-olds out there and put them in a room, Nicollette would own them all. Then again, we should probably make them pillow fight first. Not for me, of course, but for science.

Photos: Flynet
Nicollette Sheridan: Information from Answers.com
Nicollette Sheridan Picture & Photo #338
Nicollette Sheridan
Nicollette Sheridan Picture & Photo #361
Baio plans tell-all book about sex addict past
A publishing source tells the Globe magazine the explosive book will include details about the actor's alleged trysts with Pamela Anderson, Nicollette Sheridan, Denise Richards and Heather Locklear. The insider says, "He bedded some of the ...
Scott Baio - Scott Baio Plans Tell-All Book About Sex Addict Past
A publishing source tells the Globe magazine the explosive book will include details about the actor's alleged trysts with Pamela Anderson, Nicollette Sheridan, Denise Richards and Heather Locklear. The insider says, "He bedded some of the hottest women in ...

Comments (99)

  1. Fumus | October 6, 2008 at 2:01 pm

    First!!!

    Reply
  2. Deacon Jones | October 6, 2008 at 2:05 pm

    Nice. If everyone’s wife / mistress looked like this at 44 we wouldnt need Viagra, Cialis, etc, etc.

    KNOW YOUR ROLE BITCHES!

    Reply
  3. Balls | October 6, 2008 at 2:11 pm

    I would have sex with her. My dink, would totally do her.

    Reply
  4. alex | October 6, 2008 at 2:25 pm

    what a cute puppy!

    Reply
  5. hoppy | October 6, 2008 at 2:26 pm

    An old and crazy chick.

    Like Heather Locklear, she is not accepting the march of time gracefully, but is instead unravelling.

    Reply
  6. SATAN | October 6, 2008 at 2:29 pm

    Deacon Jones, if everyone’s wife/mistress looked like that they wouldn’t get cheated on and inevitably divorced and left as sour, dried-up old clams.

    Reply
  7. Boone | October 6, 2008 at 2:40 pm

    Yeah, the antidote for boners.

    Reply
  8. Rough Daddy | October 6, 2008 at 2:43 pm

    yeah? would you get more movement from a sack of potato in bed?

    Reply
  9. raggatt | October 6, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    dyed blond hair – check
    botoxed face – check
    veneered teeth – check
    boob job – check
    overdone pilates – check
    looks like every other plastic bimbo in show biz – check

    BORING!!! – CHECK!

    Reply
  10. Vince Lombardi | October 6, 2008 at 2:48 pm

    Can’t get too excited about this. I’ve seen her face. And she’s wearing macrame! I’m sorry, but I stopped letting my daughter wear macrame when she began to develop.

    Reply
  11. thick | October 6, 2008 at 2:53 pm

    Her body is great but you can only take so much crap from a biatch

    Reply
  12. NoName | October 6, 2008 at 2:54 pm

    She looks great from the stomach down, but those tits are too obviously fake and her face is fucked up.

    I’d still hit that ass though (no need for a bag over her face, I don’t hate her face that much).

    Reply
  13. Brandon | October 6, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    Anybody talking trash probably doesn’t look nearly as good as this girl right now, let alone when they’re 44.

    Reply
  14. Dr. Otto Van DerWahl | October 6, 2008 at 2:56 pm

    There was a time that this would have been the best meal in town. Now it just looks like a Sunday night at the Ponderosa Buffet

    Reply
  15. bobby carozza | October 6, 2008 at 2:57 pm

    She’s hittable and any guy who denies it is either gay or lying

    Reply
  16. Lee | October 6, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    How can you overdo pilates, #9? The other things in your list I can understand, but overdoing exercise? Give me a break.

    Reply
  17. ldfnalv | October 6, 2008 at 3:03 pm

    These pictures enrage jews.

    Reply
  18. Your Mother's Fart | October 6, 2008 at 3:05 pm

    I don’t like the flaps of skin on her elbows.

    Reply
  19. Deacon Jones | October 6, 2008 at 3:10 pm

    @17

    HAHAHAHA! Now THAT’S the best superficial quote ever. For many reasons.

    Reply
  20. Goober | October 6, 2008 at 3:12 pm

    2, 6, 9, 11, right-on!

    Reply
  21. glace neuf | October 6, 2008 at 3:13 pm

    i would hit at the cross street of wisteria lane and how can we be lovers lane.

    Reply
  22. NY Ted | October 6, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    Fish…to answer your question…Bolton is as queer as a 3 dollar bill! He loves little boys…always has…he just puts on the cover act dating a babe every now and then. Plus I have to agree…you’d have to look high and hard to find a 44 year old woman with an ass as tight and perky as Nicollette’s…I’d sure like to park my proboscis in there…!!!

    Reply
  23. Grunion | October 6, 2008 at 3:23 pm

    Cleveland Brown

    Reply
  24. FRIST!!! | October 6, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    You people have the nerve to find fault with that body?? Holy Hell, no hope for me then. You people have unreasonably high standards, or maybe you are just high. I should be high too. Share, ya assholes

    Reply
  25. Slut | October 6, 2008 at 3:30 pm

    “For my money, I don’t know if it gets any better than when he sings “When a Man Loves a Woman”.

    Reply
  26. sharpeidude | October 6, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    Michael Bolton quit on that? What a fag.

    Reply
  27. Dr Feel Good | October 6, 2008 at 3:32 pm

    That ass is so tight it squeaks when she walks… Who’s the other fine MILF with the full tit hanging off the balcony???

    Reply
  28. the next guy | October 6, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    Fine and dandy, sweet as candy….

    but who’s the hottie she’s holding hands with on the deck above – did you get a look at THAT side-boobage… and ass … and smile? My God, I believe THAT woman may still be using her own lips!

    I meant, the smiling kind…

    Reply
  29. Awesomeology | October 6, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    Yeah, how could he break up with her? It probably had something to do with her hideous face, but that’s pure speculation.

    Reply
  30. norton | October 6, 2008 at 3:40 pm

    She’s hot, no question but……. two things.

    Great genes.
    Never popped out a kid.

    Reply
  31. Sarah Palin | October 6, 2008 at 3:42 pm

    Let us pray that our brave troops stay safe while doing Gods work. Amen!

    (applause)

    After I’m elected I will, in addition to my VP duties, head the new National Faith Based Electorate Institute to ensure that future candidates are truly Christian men and women seeking to advance Christianity in the form of new initiatives such as Crusades and Inquisitions. After all, only REAL Christians should be armed across the planet. We willl ensure that the entire planet believes in Christianity, ushering in the end times!

    (long applause)

    Vote McCain (Palin)

    Amen!

    (AMEN!!!)

    Reply
  32. truth | October 6, 2008 at 4:08 pm

    Go to any college in America and you’ll see that at least half of the women – at half of Nicollette Sheridan’s age – don’t look as good as this. In the midwest and northeast it’s more like 75%. I’m not saying she looks great – I’m not a big admirer of engineered sex products. But most girls in their late teens/early twenties have guts hanging out of their bikinis or pushing through their too-tight/too-short tshirts. It’s a pleasure to see somebody – anybody – who’s not showing that, for once.

    Reply
  33. PunkA | October 6, 2008 at 4:12 pm

    I hear she is nuttier than a freaking jar of Planters….

    Reply
  34. kelley | October 6, 2008 at 4:17 pm

    Yeah, too bad she looks like the cryptkeeper, and her tits are fake besides.

    Reply
  35. Deacon Jones | October 6, 2008 at 4:24 pm

    @34

    whah, too bad she looks like the crypt keeper , whah

    Too bad for who? You? Cause your boyfriend would hit it? Too bad for who?

    Reply
  36. myhusbandcallsmesquirt | October 6, 2008 at 4:40 pm

    Basically anyone could look like that if they sucking it in as hard as she is. She looks like she’s barely breathing in most of these pictures. Good God that’s sad. To bad she can’t suck in her elbows or back like that.

    Reply
  37. malicious | October 6, 2008 at 4:50 pm

    #2 & #6 If every lady were that hot at that age what would you be left with coz they sure as shit wouldn’t be sticking around with your baldy over weight arse when you hit 44.

    Reply
  38. Deacon Jones | October 6, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    @37
    I figure when I’m 44, I might have to settle for 32, 33.

    As long as they dont talk as much as these frigging 10th graders. Geez, let me tellya!

    Reply
  39. JPRichardson | October 6, 2008 at 5:10 pm

    Ho w can anybody have a bad comment on this pictures??? Are you F-ing nuts??? She looks wonderful!!! Not for 44, but for a woman of any age. She’s gorgeous and should serve as inspiration for everyone out there.

    Man, would I do her…!!!

    Reply
  40. Fernando Narcos | October 6, 2008 at 5:11 pm

    Simply put,I came

    Reply
  41. Rusty | October 6, 2008 at 5:13 pm

    If I were looking for a 44 year old, I would say she’s quite hot. What the fuck do I want with a 44 year old woman? My age range is 25-35.

    Reply
  42. Air Mail | October 6, 2008 at 6:01 pm

    Thanks for the pictures Super Fish, made my day!

    Reply
  43. not a scientist | October 6, 2008 at 6:10 pm

    Now, I’m not a scientist, but me and the boys down in accounting punched some numbers and came up with the conclusion that Nicolette Sherridan killed some poor (yet gorgerously fit) 16 year old girl, and stuck her head upon the dismembered body. That’s it. Its the only way (besides photoshop) that what we are seeing is 44 years old.

    Reply
  44. Blackbeard | October 6, 2008 at 6:34 pm

    You people must be a bunch of shut-ins, living with your mothers, that have never traveled anywhere. I’ve traveled the world, as well as the US, in the Navy and have seen many women who look as good or better than that frankenstein bitch. And they didn’t have or need surgery.

    I would certainly fuck her if she were the last woman available at closing time.

    “some people” need to get out more and stop jacking off to pictures on the internet.

    Reply
  45. John McCain | October 6, 2008 at 6:38 pm

    Has anyone seen my keys?

    Reply
  46. Dobba | October 6, 2008 at 7:17 pm

    @ Raggat

    Homo.

    Reply
  47. gnosis | October 6, 2008 at 7:47 pm

    Deacon Jones, correct me if I’m wrong, but are you an overweight skinhead who dropped out of high school?

    Reply
  48. SpiderJerusalem | October 6, 2008 at 7:56 pm

    She’s not bad, but Monica Bellucci is the same age and infinitely hotter.

    Reply
  49. MassGrrl | October 6, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    Her body looks great. But 44 is too old for a string bikini.

    Reply
  50. i <3 Halloween! | October 6, 2008 at 8:12 pm

    The tippy toes, stick your ass out and pout “candid” shots just kill me…
    She looks good for 40, thanks to her plastic surgeon (although she does work out, which is good).

    Reply

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