Nicole Ritchie autographs unborn fetus

March 10th, 2006 // 85 Comments

  1. bigfatmomma

    i don’t know for certain, but i’m pretty sure the baby’s response is “EAT SOMETHING”

  2. krisdylee

    Yeehaw!!!!i have to go buy a lottery ticket. First Post!!!!! I liked Nicole beter when she was fat

  3. celeb_hater

    Does Nicole Ritchie have legs? Pigeons have more meat on their legs than she does. And what the fuck is up with those god awful over sized sun glasses she wears? Those are quite fugly.

  4. krisdylee

    d’oh, no first post for me. boo hoo

  5. B-Bomb

    goddamn you to hell, big fat momma! i wanted first post! her legs are scary, and make me cry.

  6. Mary45

    It’s a pretty sad day when all you aspire to is to have your pregnant tummy signed by a famous whore…

  7. that-dog-is-shifty-eyed

    I’m sure Nicole’s words were lost on the fetus, I mean babies don’t respond to anything without breasts. Eat a sandwich, damn!

  8. rori

    Enough with the first post shit…. you people never get the first post anyway, so you’d think you’d stop trying. I guess it’s kind of like a bird that keeps flying into a window because it doesn’t realize that there is glass there… very little brain function.

  9. Bellisima

    #6 wait a minute you’ve got’em mixed up. Stickpole Richie is the one with the eating disorder and Parisite IS the skank!

  10. jida

    omg those legs … what happened? even lipo or bowflex won’t get you legs like that.

  11. polypam

    I keep having this vision of running into Nicole Ritchie at some NY night club and throwing Twinkies at her. So now, I always keep a couple in my handbag at all times, just in case…

  12. M@ce

    I hope to God that the government has secretly coated each and every one of those ‘books’ with a chemical that prevents the buyer from conceiving a child. No moronic, brain dead,celebrisuck who buys that wretched excuse for a book should be allowed to procreate.

    Time to start thinning the herd.

    p.s. Last time I saw glasses like that was on the Golden Girls. And yea, I have the whole collection on DVD.

  13. Dee

    she has a book out, thats funny….

  14. I wish all of these “first post” assholes would have stayed in their own mother’s womb.

  15. I checked out the novel on Amazon and noticed three things:
    1. The words “A Novel” are printed six times on the front cover. The publisher clearly knew that if they only said it once, we just wouldn’t believe it.
    2. The word “club” appears nine times within the first three pages (yes, I attempted to read an excerpt).
    3. Nicole–or whoever wrote this thing–uses “double-bad” as an adjective. No, not “doubly-bad,” which would be bad enough, but “double-bad, as in “drugs would be double-bad for an addictive personality like hers.”

  16. Binky

    Hummm…I’ll be sure to read this epic once I finish the phone book.

  17. scarlett138

    OUCH…look at those legs..i feel like they’re gunna break off any second, if they haven’t already

    damn it, someone just shove that book in her mouth, maybe she’ll eat that instead of food

  18. I can’t believe that she is the daughter of the guy that sings “Once, twice, three times a lady”. I bet her book is just a collection of her saying, “That’s hot” and “Do you love it?”…

  19. LaydeeBug

    People like NIcole and the fans who buy her book are the reason why I HAVE to finish college and get my degree and be something other than an insipid, flighty, baby-making, drug addicted, shopping-obsessed mall walker with no idea of what a thesis statement is.

  20. Daniel

    Gee, nice gams Nic! Betty Grable would be envious.

  21. downshine

    anorexia on a stick

  22. pickletickle

    I am sorry but I think that pregnant bellies are ugly…and what is worse than the ugly ass stork legs of Ritchie is the fact that someone stupid enough to go to her book signing and read about the life of a spoiled, little, rich shit sack is about to bring another dumb person into the world.

    Writing a message to an unborn fetus is stupid enough, but letting a nasty skank touch your stomache is even more stupid.

  23. hafaball

    That;s fucking bullshit. I asked her to sign my penis once and her bodyguards’ beat me up! You know, the penis is where it all starts! Maybe next time…

  24. Ali

    OMG!!! I’ll bet Nicole was so freaked out by seeing that woman’s giant belly!!! That’s gotta be her worst fear. She is probably still forcing herself to throw up the lettuce leaf she had for lunch.

    Those legs are sad. We’re going to be reading about her the same way we read about Karen Carpenter in the 70s.

  25. c1ndy

    She should eat some pies.

  26. mrschickee

    She looks like a lollipop.

  27. mamacita

    If Nicole stood sideways and stuck out her tongue, she’d be mistaken for a zipper.

  28. christee

    well, one girl’s “anorexia” is another girl’s “willpower.”

  29. EHsed

    #19 – “People like NIcole and the fans who buy her book are the reason why I HAVE to finish college and get my degree and be something other than an insipid, flighty, baby-making, drug addicted, shopping-obsessed mall walker with no idea of what a thesis statement is.”

    You REALLY need to stay in college (are you on the 8-year plan or something?) because a thesis statement is something you learn in like 8th and 9th grade, so if you priding yourself on learning that now in college, you’ve got a long way to go.

  30. Can a fetus catch herpes from a pen?

  31. Hahahaha the look on that poor kids face.

    “Dam you mom! Drag me out to a book signing and it’s this useless whore. Of all people it had to be this stick. I will be in therapy for life!”.

  32. Chris'sMom

    # 1 pretty much sums up all there is to read about this particular article. I almost woke my husband up laughing at that. Bravo.

  33. Jenni

    1.) a fetus is always unborn
    2.) feed her!!!!

  34. RevBrandy

    What a successful young woman she is: famous for being the daughter of someone who was famous once and the former-BFF of someone whose inexplicable fame persists, now a published writer which is a gig some actually talented writers struggle to obtain, a “television star” if one counts utterly myopic reality television as actual “programming,” and a tabloid sweetheart running a race toward death by trying to starve herself or party herself into the grave, whichever crosses the finish line first.

    The world is completely “effed.”

  35. Xarah

    #26 OMG!

    She does! That big head and tiny little body. It reminds me of “Head” from “So I Married An Axe Murderer”.

  36. honey

    #29 – I think you should know that we don’t really mess with LaydeeBug here
    might wanna tone it down just a bit..

  37. Tania

    Bitch is fat. Seriously Nicole, maybe you should try to drop a few. Yuck.

  38. ESQ

    Wow totally priceless getting your pregnant belly signed by an alien.

  39. lucybell07

    So I haven’t had time to read most of these other comments, sorry if this is a repeat. But, I must say, good god woman! Here’s a new career goal she should consider. Maybe she could come to my anatomy/physiology class. Our current skeleton is a bit disintegrated, and she’d make a great skeletal anatomy lesson. And then she could go on to write a book about how important her role was to my education. Brownie points for you, Nicole! Ooops, ok ok, just kidding: Celery points for you, Nicole!

  40. HughJorganthethird

    The stench of death follows Nicole wherever she goes. Repent while you can o skinny one, for the end is nigh.

  41. andrewthezeppo

    “Come Out” Nicole is hilarious, I still totally adore her crazy skeleton ass.

  42. EHsed

    #36 – “I think you should know that we don’t really mess with LaydeeBug here
    might wanna tone it down just a bit..”

    Oh God! I’m sooo incredibly sorry…I totally didn’t know that “we” don’t mess with LaydeeBug…so what is going to happen now? A posse full of losers whose only friends are those they met while posting on an online message board are going to hunt me down and do what exactly? Write lame insults about me in retaliation of my pointing out that someone is a dumb ass? I’ll totally keel over and die of shame and remorse. Seriously, get a life.

  43. ms.vreeland

    totally agree with #41.

    oh and laydeebug, going to college probably still won’t ever provide you half her pretty wardrobe,shallow comment?this is anyway

  44. cheetaqueen

    she looks like alittle old granny bobblehead when she wears those fugly glasses of hers.

  45. theczechwreck

    Where are all the fatty haters? The “stop calling her skinny, there’s nothing healthy about being fat” people?

    I love them. Why have they forsaken me?

  46. gogoboots

    Aside from what she looks like, and yes, a lollipop comes to mind, what the hell can she possibly write about? i didn’t know she knew how to write much less read.

  47. gogoboots

    These days she looks like an 11 year old male cross-dresser. And pigeon legs are fabulous baby, they are SO in!

  48. Mr. Fritz

    Nicole Ritchie has learned that you need to be rich and skinny to stay in the limelight. I don’t have much to say about this story. I love curvy women and don’t like anyone at this moment. The “Parent Trap” Lindsey was cute and sexy. I agree with number #24′s comment. She is gonna be like that Carpenter broad. I think I am gonna stop watching television until the hourglass shape returns.

  49. night

    I love you, Mr. Fritz ;) And yeah, comment Nr 24 is sooo to-the-point. I mean, being anorexic is a serious issue but but what’s unacceptable is that she’s celebrated as a fashion icon, and the people around her behave like she is “perfectly normal”. I can’t believe that she’s still denying having an eating disorder!!

  50. mamacita


    Uh, wasn’t she, like, 12 in Parent Trap? That’s kind of gross.


    Actually, she did admit to having been bulimic in Vanity Fair, although she did speak of it as being in the past and not a current problem.

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