Nicole Richie will persevere

December 12th, 2006 // 47 Comments







  1. RichPort

    I wonder what it’s like to interrogate a pencil…

  2. Pointandlaugh

    that statement by Richie’s rep confused me “whatever responsibility is appropriate”?? HUH?
    Do you mean, “whatever punishment is appropriate”? Clearly her driving the wrong way on the highway, and her driving under the influence, is 100% HER responsibility.

    WHY is this skank famous again?

  3. llllllllll

    The pencil can reveal a whole alot of LEAD will eventually will help cops nab the perp

  4. GooniesNeverSayDie

    Cop: So you didnt know you were going in the wrong direction?
    NR: No. I took some prescription meds and smoked pot.
    Cop: OK. Wow, you look hungry. Let me get you some food.
    NR: No thanks, I am good.

  5. RichPort

    She should have eaten the fucking weed…

  6. llllllllll

    what the hell did I write?! It’s like the Lohan ghost took over for a second there

  7. She’ll do time for this right? I mean, she pulled a fucking U-Turn on the freeway!

  8. techclerk

    Dumb Bitch!
    Dumb Bitch!
    Whatchya goona do?
    Whachya goona do when they come for you?

  9. S.P.F.R.S.

    She needs to take some of those meds whose side effect is to increase appetite. Bon appetit Nicole.

  10. Please Please Please Please go to jail for like 5 years….that’s all the christmas present I need!

  11. cole007

    She’s just depressed that she is good-for-nothing. When I felt pointless, I became a self-loathing anoerexic, too… in theory. But I’m too egotistical and talented to actually quit eating. MY BRAIN NEEDS FOOOOOOD….. FOOOOOOOOD I TELL YA!

  12. jesseeca

    what is this, strike 2? c’mon just lock her ass up already!

  13. BarbadoSlim

    Continue her career? WTF!?!?!? WHAAAAAAAAAA..?

    All the careers I’m familiar require some type of …uh I don’t know, yeah, meaningful employment.

  14. minniememe

    she ought to try that methadone + zoloft + lexapro cocktail that’s so popular.

  15. Nikk The Templar



  16. six degrees of paris hilton. you fuck around with her, its a wrap – not friends with paris

  17. Nikk The Templar

    (I forgot this part)

    You know, I hope she goes to jail, actually. The jail house food will put some meat on those bones.

    And then she can go back to what she does best…..which is….uh….um….uh….c’mon guys, help me here.

  18. BarbadoSlim

    @17……ummm …crackwholicious?…faburexic?

  19. frenchtoaststix

    Yes, indeed, what career? A stick insect being photographed leaving a club sadly constitutes a career nowadays. Sing, dance, act, write, who needs it? If you’re rich enough and good-looking enough and are featured in the tabloids, goshdarnit, people will think you actually have a career and care if you get a DUI. Or eat a cracker. Whichever.

  20. NotANiceGirl

    19. People actually pay Paris, Lindsey, Brit, Nicole to show up at clubs/premiers/parties. Paris makes a shitload. They all get close or more than 10K. I guess being paid to show up is their job. If so, the real issue is who the fuck is hiring these dumb cunts?

  21. NotANiceGirl

    Paris gets 225,000 to 1.1 mil to show up. I guess that’s a motivator to act like a total whore.. if only it were an act & she were smart enough

  22. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Actual audio from surveillance footage:

    Cop: So you didn’t know you were going in the wrong direction?
    Nicole: Phhhttt! Bzzz bzzz bzzzz phhhhtttt!
    Cop: I’m going to have to write you up, ma’am. Hey what are you doing…
    Nicole: Bleuagghhhh *vomits digestive juices on cop and attempts to suck decomposing flesh through feeding tube while rapidly rubbing thighs together to summon a mate*

  23. Kim

    WTF! They arrested her and she gets to ride in the front seat of the cop car?!? I was in a fucking accident and wrecked my car, i was not under arrest and the cop said it was the law that i had to ride in the back. I guess they were afraid she would fall in the crack in the seat!

  24. celebs don’t get the special treatment my ass. Famous for nothing Richie gets to drive to the jailhouse shotgun in the cop car. I’m surprised they didn’t offer her the wheel.

  25. BarbadoSlim

    @22, twisted, disgusting and funny all at the same time. I just had to post this before I go throw up…

  26. BarbadoSlim

    I generally stear clear of people of the uniformed pork persuassion, but boy if I could be an LAPD SS Stormtrooper for just one day I would take down two or three of this celebs. Do the whole STOP RESISTING as I plant my knee firmly in their neck, foot up the ass and gun to the head.

    Earl and Brandon you in my shit list bubbas.

  27. Boogie Monster

    LMAO @ #1 and # 24.

  28. BarbadoSlim

    shit that should read *steer

    I blame the Jessica Simpson thread and lottsa lottsa of coke.

  29. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    At first I thought it said “Nicole Ritchie will preserve”, which is also true as her moisture content to meat ratio will make a nice jerky, which has a shelf life of a little under 12 months.

  30. nychag

    did she drive to the station??

  31. You want PROOF that this girl is annorexic (Other than her horribly wasted Preying-mantislike form of course)

    When she was with the police, she made a point to tell them that she didn’t weight 100lbs like it says on her liscense, but rather a healthy curvy 85lbs. I mean of COURSE she didn’t want them to think she was a big fatty weighing in at 100lbs.

    Ok, definition of an annorexic? Somebody who thinks 100lbs is fat.

    I think she most likely subsists on eating the crabs off of Paris’s shaven pubic hair weekly, nothing else could explain her weight.

  32. kukhuvud

    What’s a guy have to do to meet this girl??

  33. NicotineEyePatch

    What the fuck is so difficult about ‘this time’? What career? What responsibility? What issues? She hasn’t addressed an issue since lunchtime, and even then she probably just kind of took off without saying anything and then came back with horrible halitosis and looking ashamed and paranoid.

    #22 bahahahahahaha!!! The visuals…
    #29 bahahahahahaha!!! Wait, that means she’ll be dead in less than a year? Hallefuckinglujah!

  34. Really, if she would just eat something she would probably be cool.

  35. EJ

    A very good point, 31. I didn’t notice that, but you’re spot-on. An anoretic will anoxiously correct you even if you’re half a pound off their “true” weight.

  36. libtard


    Hang around in her neighborhood with a syringe full of heroin and a bottle of ipecac. She’ll find you….

  37. No, Nicole Richie will wither away and disintegrate into dust.

  38. RichPort

    I wonder what it’s like to have your clothes outweigh you?


  39. 86

    God, could we care any less about this one? LOL

  40. Courtney

    Oy. Once a junkie always a junkie. She’s still the lesser of two (or is it three now?) evils.

  41. Jenster

    how much vicodan do you have to be on to be
    going the wrong way on a highway?
    the whole fucking bottle?
    i can eat 4 of them and still handle my daily
    responsibilities. and kids, just to put this
    in perspective, my 11 year old baby sister
    weighs 92 lbs. She weighs 85 lbs.
    Nicole, Karen Carpenter called; she wants
    her schtick back.

  42. Denimpetal

    oh quelle fucking suprise.
    I wish they’d arrest her, or at least do SOMETHING. I had sympathy for the girl “trying to gain weight” and pot helped me (nothing better than munchies to my anorexia!).
    There’s no fucking way I would of DRIVEN in the states I was in, and at 5’3 I can gladly say I slipped harder than her but still had at least TWO fucking brain cells to rub together. What the hell is she thinking?
    Screw her, I’ve seen too many innocent victims of D.U.I to have any sympathy at all for her anymore.

  43. put her in jail, please

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