Nicole Richie wants it all

December 2nd, 2005 // 25 Comments

I am...the lizard queen!The next time I get into a religious debate, the following story will be exhibit A in my case that there is, in fact, no God. Nicole Richie has signed a deal with 20th Century Fox Television whereby Fox will either develop a new show around Richie or cast her in an existing project. She is already meeting with writers and has indicated interest in playing a character loosely based on herself.

“Things are funnier when you base them on your real life, when you make fun of yourself,” Richie told Variety. “But it’s definitely a sitcom [as opposed to reality].”

I have nothing against Richie really. She’s kinda cute, in the same way that E.T. is cute. But if you’re considered Paris Hilton’s less talented friend, the next headline that carries your name should also carry the word ‘Suicide’. Watching Nicole Richie try to act would be roughly equivalent to watching my grandmother have sex with a gorilla. Covered in peanut oil. In my bed. With me in it.

Thanks to the fetching Sarah for the tip.

Nicole Richie’s Sitcom Life [Yahoo Entertainment]


  1. Great. Thirty minutes of her sucking DJ AM off and walking around LA with no shoes on….and begging Daddy for money.

  2. Miss Kiki

    How do you figure Nicole made Paris famous? Its was the sex tape that made Paris famous!

  3. HollyJ

    “That’s hot”

  4. dont-hate

    unless!!! nicole MADE Paris sex tape.. then yeah she had a HUGE hand in making her famous….
    and after her slimming down… it feels like her and E.T do share some gene pool somewhere…
    oh by the way … she puts as much effort in her talents as my dog does in pooping

  5. UsWeeklyJunkie

    Oh, I love comedies about talent-less anorexic rich girls abusing drugs

  6. kelly

    They filmed the simple life at my office. Paris was the expected sack of air with bad extensions. But Nicole was adorable, hysterical, and sharp as a tack. The producers said every good moment of the series was her doing or at her suggestion. I think the girl’s got potential!

  7. ender

    Fox is amazing. They let Arrested Development go without putting any effort into advertising it, but jump on the chance to give Nicole Richie a shot. Not to mention Stacked. Wait, nevermind let’s not mention that. Sorry.

  8. nicole broke memphis’ (and my) heart yesterday

  9. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I think Nicole should make a sex tape WITH Paris, and a bucket of chicken… on a trampoline… bones flying everywhere… then they can go ahead and give her a sitcom.

  10. always answer b

    Oh God, please, no. This is a nightmare.

  11. I say let her do it. Let her make a million sitcoms. You know why? Because the faster she wears herself out, the sooner she will go away. Kind of like a cold sore.

  12. asenath7766

    That’s hilarious, blagg blog! I hate to admit it, but for awhile I was jealous of her slimming down so fast (before she started looking anorexic), her access to Daddy’s money and all the attention she gets for it, but now I just hate the bitch. At least I can be happy knowing she will not age gracefully. Comparisons to E.T., that cracks me up…

  13. UPDATE: after being ‘too ill’ for yesterday’s book signing here in Memphis, Nicole was photographed on the red carpet at last night’s GQ Party. imagine, a celebrity of her dignified stature, LYING to her fans in Memphis – unthinkable!

  14. andrewthezeppo

    Nicole is certainly not Paris’s less talented friend. She used to be Paris’s cute curvy friend, and then her friend in rehab and then her hot anorexic friend. But Nicole has always been the funnier more interesting of the two. Nicole was the only reason anybody watched The Simple Life while not masterbating, or even while masterbating.

  15. Joe

    You can call Nicole an “actor”. You can also call a skunk a kitty but it still stinks.

  16. Juliette

    It’s funny how she always says things like her book and now this shitcom are ‘loosely’ based on her life. Right…that’s why the book was an autobiography with names changed.

  17. The Scarlet Bitch

    I heart Nicole. I don’t care what anyone says, that woman could queef more talent than most people, especially blank-slate Hilton, who admittedly has some talent. And by talent I mean AIDS.

  18. hafaball

    What do expect from FOX? Quality television? huh? do ya? huh? do ya? HUH?! Well, unless Jesus comes down himself and says, “Stop the insanity!” There’s always gonna be crap like this. I’d like to see an episode where hilton makes a guest appearance and they just fight for 22 minutes, in pudding, maybe chocolate pudding, that’d be awesome.

  19. IsayAWESOME

    You know what?
    I think nicole is way cooler than paris
    and hotter too.
    Forget the sex tape… at least shes not a trashy whorebag… or at least completely
    that is all

  20. I would rather masterbate to a picture of Newt on the cover of Time mag then read another post about Nicole. Bitch shot me down.

  21. elle26

    she’s not HOT.
    But hotter than paris.
    Paris looks lyk she has down syndrome ok….

  22. allioson

    k nicole made simple life entertaining paris would just stand there in her ditzy-heiress-ness and be like nicoolllleee and nicole was the entertaining crazy one…dont tell me you wouldnt watch her show as a dirrty lil secret

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