Nicole Richie wants it all

I am...the lizard queen!The next time I get into a religious debate, the following story will be exhibit A in my case that there is, in fact, no God. Nicole Richie has signed a deal with 20th Century Fox Television whereby Fox will either develop a new show around Richie or cast her in an existing project. She is already meeting with writers and has indicated interest in playing a character loosely based on herself.

“Things are funnier when you base them on your real life, when you make fun of yourself,” Richie told Variety. “But it’s definitely a sitcom [as opposed to reality].”

I have nothing against Richie really. She’s kinda cute, in the same way that E.T. is cute. But if you’re considered Paris Hilton’s less talented friend, the next headline that carries your name should also carry the word ‘Suicide’. Watching Nicole Richie try to act would be roughly equivalent to watching my grandmother have sex with a gorilla. Covered in peanut oil. In my bed. With me in it.

Thanks to the fetching Sarah for the tip.

Nicole Richie’s Sitcom Life [Yahoo Entertainment]