Nicole Richie kind of goes to jail

August 24th, 2007 // 66 Comments
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Nicole Richie was to begin her four day sentence Thursday for a December 2006 DUI, but only spent a whopping 82 minutes in jail before being released. Reuters reports:

A spokeswoman for the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department said federal sentencing guidelines dealing with jail overcrowding allowed local officials to reduce the time for Richie and other inmates with similar charges. Richie, 25, was treated ‘in the same manner as other inmates with a similar sentence,’ Deputy Sheriff Maribel Rizo said, reading from a statement. Richie, the daughter of singer Lionel Richie and a co-star with Paris Hilton on reality TV series “The Simple Life,” surrendered to local authorities in the afternoon and was booked, processed and released about one hour and 20 minutes later, Rizo said. The deputy did not know whether Richie had actually spent any time in a jail cell.

I’m practically dizzy with the shining examples of celebrity justice these past couple of days. We are truly to the point where Britney Spears could eat both her children on national television while driving a stolen police cruiser and all she’d receive is a “time-out” from her mom. She’d still probaby get a goddamn juice box. I hope it’s one of those asinine, foil Capri-Suns. You know the kind where you can never get the straw in. That’ll teach her.

superficial

  1. Capri Sun is no punishment, juice box is way worse – it’s more of a pain to try to get the last little bit out of the corners!

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  2. wtf

    wtf, that’s stupid. the police aren’t even pretending to do their jobs anymore.

  3. A.ro

    You cant check into jail and fucking check out!!! what the hell is wrong with them?? SOMEONE EXPLAIN THE JUSTICE THAT IS BEING DONE!

  4. Tanning Bed?

    So it looks like Nicole has lines under her arms from the tanning beds…aren’t you supposed to steer clear of these while pregnant?

  5. Yeah for my brothers and sisters

    See? Nicole is black and she got a break from the justice system. No race cards necessary! Yeah! Oh shit. I bet Sharpton is bummed.

  6. Wow.

    So driving while under the influence of drugs and alcohol…GOING THE WRONG WAY on the freeway no less only gives you 80 minutes in the slammer in L.A…..Well, I know where I’m gonna commit a mass murder…I’ll probably get 30 days at a pretend jail at Disney world with an animatronic guard and licorice hand-cuffs and my daily punishment will be to clean out the Unicorn stalls….

    What a joke.

  7. Yeah and if it as me I’d be in the big house for a month at least.
    Is anyone investigating these star struck judges?

  8. LL

    The rich are better than the rest of us. They shouldn’t have to do time. C’mon, who else is going to buy really expensive stuff that none of the rest of us can afford and then make us feel bad because we don’t have as much money as them? They can’t drive around in cars that cost as much as a house or walk around wearing clothes that cost as much as a car if they’re in jail, they have to be out roaming free so we can all see them proving they’re better than us. Think, people, think!

  9. Big Daddy

    Big Mama – “I’m not a fat anorexia like Nichole.”

    What the hell does that even mean? And who is Nichole? You mean Nicole?

    -Big D

  10. lambman

    If the jail is crowded they should put her under house arrest, and then a sexy blond chick will move in next door and bizzarely start a romance with her….until the man across the street starts trying to kill people, and date her really, really hot mom….I saw that in a documentary I think

  11. Angry Socialist

    What the fuck is wrong with LA? . . . besides the usual I mean. It’s all Rodney King’s fault. If the LAPD had any real men on the force, they’d be sodomizing these drugged out skanks like a Preacher on Sunday.
    I

  12. my comment

    #2 said it all. Nothing more can be said.

  13. It looks like it was a little cold in jail.

  14. mjb

    FIRST BITCHES!!!!

  15. Are you on crack MJB? You’re 25th

  16. TF&LBJ

    I hope someone kills her

  17. NewWorldOrder

    Well little buddies, better get used to it and adapt to it getting worse. All is for sale. Capitalism is a 1000-headed dragon and it rules the realm! $$$$$$$$
    Ha hahah ha ha ha hha . “We” – the American little guy and middle guy, are fucked.
    Ya aint got money ya aint got shit. Gloom and doom. Entropy.

  18. Annie Fizzbang

    I think the judge realized that the combination of Joel’s genes and Lionel Richie’s could only result in the Greatest Songwriter Ever, and he didn’t want the kid being born in prison so he’d grow up writing blues music. If Nicole is free and doing coke, then the kid can only write masterpieces that will be played in elevators worldwide.

  19. ohhh… i need to have her sunglasses! someone’s buying me the sunglasses *eye blink*

  20. She did her time

  21. @31 where did she do her time? She never even made it to her jail cell

  22. @30 Andrea – I will buy them but you have to come to California to pick them up

  23. Busty Raquel

    No. #3 – VERY NICE scenario.

    Very funny.

    Well thought out!

  24. mafme

    “Ugly”? that’s going to be a friggin flipper baby.

    You know, the Paris thing wasn’t a big deal, but this skank could have killed people with her blasted-out-of-mind driving the wrong way on a freeway. That’s not funny, cute, or anything. That is on par to mindlessly brandishing a loaded weapon… not cool. Good thing she not a black dude or she would have been beaten into a coma by the cops… or just shot through the window.

  25. HughJorgan

    #35

    ad guy: well at least there aren’t any major side effects

    Scientist: oh there where a few side effects

    Ad guy: well at least there weren’t any flipper babies

    Scientist: oh there were a few flipper babies

    gotta love the kids in the hall

  26. Topspin

    The key to getting the straw into a Capri Sun is to turn the pouch upside down and puncture the bottom of the bag with a straw. Points for looking cooler than everyone else.

  27. lalalal

    hahahahahahahahahahaha @ the Capri Sun juice-boxes! hahahaha I know exactly what you’re talking about!

  28. somewhereinthemiddle

    You have to look at this in bimbo years not the regular time the rest of us live on. That was 98 real time minutes without, staring in the mirror, texting, or buying something. She even had to pretend to have morals. I bet she felt like she had woken from a 10 year coma walking out of the police station. It’s not easy being rich and unemployed I bet she had to reschedule her pedicure. Here you people are saying she got off easy.

  29. KC

    Can’t wait for Lindsay’s 30 second stay in jail.

  30. mafme

    IT WAS ONLY A COUPLE OF FLIPPER BABIES!!

  31. Tired

    Anyone else here getting sick of the same old recycled trash?

    Paris – Lindsey – Britney – Nicole
    (And now I am afraid it is going to become a fivesome with Hayden.)

    Sure, they are easy to pick on. All they have to do is breathe right?

    I don’t even read half their stories anymore. And it’s mostly the witty writing that entertains me.

    But I have had enough of the same old dried up washed up paricolindsney.

    There are soooooooo many celebs in Hollywood.

    I need more versatility. More celebs. Maybe a couple with a bit of class. Something new. Something blue.

    :(

  32. polypam

    I’ve had detention longer that that effing sentence. Fuck her.

  33. There's only room enough for one Cowgirl in this town

    You know Foxy Brown would be in jail until the year 2012 if she tried that DUI shit!

  34. Shallow Val

    25 years ago….Lionel Richie & wife at adoption agency…

    “Honey, I don’t want a girl, they’re so much work.”

    “Yeah but Li, she’s the right complection and part Dominican, she’ll be beautiful.”

    “But a boy will…oh, all right, you know best. I’ll be a proud daddy anyway.”

    25 years later Lionel Richie smaking head a la V-8 style…

    “Man, I shoulda gotten the boy.”

  35. Chi-wow-wow

    42 Tired

    They’re media whores and probably the only ones that are SUPER easy to photograph.

  36. michelle

    They’re missing the point.

    How is justice giving a poor person and a filthy rich person the same fine etc ?
    How is that fair?

    You need to do it based on their earnings, power, or at least common sense.

    Even if they got a $1 000 000 fine and a whole year in jail the only thing it would do is make them more money and make them more famous. So it really isn’t working with regards to justice and them paying for their actions.

  37. so if you almost kill someone you spend 82 minutes… if you’re a teenager buying a twenty-sack on the corner, you spend the night. makes sense.

  38. PC

    Eh, I don’t really care about this one. She’s pregnant. I don’t like seeing pregnant women in jail. It’s kinda sad. As for Lohan, that’s a completely different story. If Paris got a 40-day sentence for driving a suspended license, then Lohan should get a few months for 2 felony DUI charges and 1 charge of cocaine possession.

  39. alexandra

    well i hit a car and drove away and then totaled my car with weed in my car after driving on the wrong side of the road with a provisional license (past the cerfew or whatever) and my lawyer had it ALL reduced to 1 charge of obstructing traffic (for only about a $1000 fee), so yes, this does happen to real people, too. not just celebs. thank god i’m not black, tho!!

  40. sentencings these days are fucked up.
    and you know she got pregnant on purpose. (bc of going to jail)

  41. Carolyn

    Matt on the Today Show said he spends more time every day on t.v. than what Nicole spent in jail.

    She makes Cal. law system a big joke!

  42. Big Mama

    # 20- Big Daddy –

    What are you —— the Glorified Superficial Grammar Editor.

    She looks more like a Nichole to me. That’s all she is – Nic-HOLE. She is a Hole.

    And, because you are probably a porker ,it would be impossible for you to understand the term of “fat anorexic.” She, the HOLE, is anorexic, and now she is fat, just like one of those starving kids you see in the “National Geographic” magazines.

    I can’t believe you can’t see this for yourself, but then again you are too busy looking for typos.

    You must not have any fun on this site. You might want to try some of the Punctuation Made Simple blog sites as they might be of more interest to you.

    You anal retentive Asshole!

  43. doodie

    is it a sex crime to bang a pregnant girl, or just a 2 1/2-some?

  44. LUCKY7

    COCKSUCKER.

    I BET THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY NOW HAS MOUTH TO GENITAL HERPES NOW FROM THIS ADOPTED CUM DUMPSTER.

  45. Try thinking

    What’s worse, Nichole spending a few minutes in jail, or some rapist doing a small fraction of his sentence. There’s one open cell – who do you want in it? You don’t want to pay extra taxes to build even bigger prisons. You don’t want to put drug addicts in treatment centers instead of jail. What’s the judge or the DA supposed to do, exactly? You’ve locked up all the niggas, there are no more fuckin cells. How dumb do you have to be to fail to comprehend that???

  46. hater

    I HATE HER
    I hate pregnant sluts

  47. @bite me: why not try UPS? :-D

  48. Not This Crap Again?!

    Has anyone noticed that neither of Nicole’s parents are anywhere near this “drama” (the police station, media interviews, court house, jail, etc.)?! Unlike Paris’ parents, who relished in the media spotlight (regardless of the fact that it was negative), I think the Ritchie’s are right to be laying low.

    By now, I’m sure they’re regretting the fact that of A-L-L the children they could have adopted, they picked THIS one. She sure does make a parent proud!

    The only thing that would be “just” is if they have a girl, and she grows up to be just like Nicole (and her BFF’s), and that she’s a hellion to boot!

  49. gigi

    why’s everybody hating? she looks very serene here actually, and she looks really good too! cute preggy dress, boobs filling out nicely, REALLY cute shoes, hair up & away from the face, chic sunglasses…Good for her! Hope she stays healthy & out of trouble!

  50. listen

    seriously, do you not see the non famous people commiting these crimes too? or is it just because shes famous it automatically gives you the right to rip her to shreds. none of us know what goes on when the paps and the media arent there to comment.

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