Nicole Richie was to begin her four day sentence Thursday for a December 2006 DUI, but only spent a whopping 82 minutes in jail before being released. Reuters reports:
A spokeswoman for the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department said federal sentencing guidelines dealing with jail overcrowding allowed local officials to reduce the time for Richie and other inmates with similar charges. Richie, 25, was treated ‘in the same manner as other inmates with a similar sentence,’ Deputy Sheriff Maribel Rizo said, reading from a statement. Richie, the daughter of singer Lionel Richie and a co-star with Paris Hilton on reality TV series “The Simple Life,” surrendered to local authorities in the afternoon and was booked, processed and released about one hour and 20 minutes later, Rizo said. The deputy did not know whether Richie had actually spent any time in a jail cell.
I’m practically dizzy with the shining examples of celebrity justice these past couple of days. We are truly to the point where Britney Spears could eat both her children on national television while driving a stolen police cruiser and all she’d receive is a “time-out” from her mom. She’d still probaby get a goddamn juice box. I hope it’s one of those asinine, foil Capri-Suns. You know the kind where you can never get the straw in. That’ll teach her.
ZoomBoy | August 24, 2007 at 9:34 am
THIS IS HORSE SHIT!
Clem | August 24, 2007 at 9:37 am
The consolation is that her kid is going to be butt ugly.
JagedNS | August 24, 2007 at 9:40 am
I hope Richie, Hilton, Lohan, and Spears all form a band and go on a nationwide tour.
While on tour they are out partying when Lohan realizes she is out of Coke. She gets the other girls together and they hop in the Mercedes SUV and go cruising for dope. They get so distracted while laughing about their ‘trials’ and tribulations that they don’t even realize they run over a horde of Paparazzi killing them all.
They go to court but there are no witnesses so the judge orders them to drive over to the jail, circle the parking lot 3 times and then return to their party. Just as they are leaving the courtroom, lo and behold, a man in a wheelchair comes in holding a camera. it turns out he survived the car accident and managed to snap 312 pictures of the 4 ‘ladies’ laughing maniacally while Lohan repeatedly runs over a few of the pap.
The judge upon seeing this, adds 97 years to each of the girls sentences and we never see or hear from them again.
it could happen.
joLIE | August 24, 2007 at 9:41 am
How this makes me long for Judge Sauer to come back and dispense justice to these retards.
———————————————————————————
Enjoy Brangelina haters
http://tinyurl.com/ynoecc
kingnormandy | August 24, 2007 at 9:42 am
So by way of comparison Paris Hilton basically got a life sentence next to these two.
As I am not a lawyer, I am guessing that not having your paperwork in order (suspended licesne) in the State of California is a much greater offence than possession, drunk driving, fleeing th scene, reckless endangerment etc. etc.
Not really a Paris fan, but in the scheme of things, after seeing this bullshit, she must feel that she got fucked.
The One and Only REAL Goodman | August 24, 2007 at 9:48 am
BULLSHIT (and a nod to Bonzo) 420!!!
Rmc | August 24, 2007 at 9:52 am
hopefully she miscarrys and kills herself…that would be beautiful.
Classic Spastic Colon | August 24, 2007 at 9:58 am
Anyone remember her dancing on the table for all those morons, and we could see her… everything with a G-string on? Glorious. I wonder what the baby hole looks like now?
ali | August 24, 2007 at 10:16 am
yea, and she will kind of never learn. and neither will our country until the rich popular and wealthy stop taking precedence over every one. the la police department are a bunch of bitches.
BlohansDeviatedSeptum | August 24, 2007 at 10:38 am
Is there anything more pathetic than being knocked up by some two bit, faux punk, rock star wannabe? How could you possibly not have an abortion after hearing the statement “your pregnant witht he lead signer from good charlottes baby”. I mean how could you have sex with the dude in the first place without laughing hystericly at all his “hardcore” tattoos. It BOOGLES the mind.
Big Mama | August 24, 2007 at 10:42 am
What do you expect from LA-LA land. I think if you kill someone without intent then you spend about 6 months in Jail. Hopefully, someone will kill her soon.
I do like her dress, but it would look much better on me because I’m not a fat anorexia like Nichole.
I bet she got off easy because she’s black. Yet, she doesn’t look black at all to me. Some people consider her black because she was adopted by blacks, just like Steve Martin in the Jerk. You know how he was just a poor black child.
Life In The Fab Lane | August 24, 2007 at 10:52 am
Capri Sun is no punishment, juice box is way worse – it’s more of a pain to try to get the last little bit out of the corners!
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wtf | August 24, 2007 at 10:52 am
wtf, that’s stupid. the police aren’t even pretending to do their jobs anymore.
A.ro | August 24, 2007 at 10:52 am
You cant check into jail and fucking check out!!! what the hell is wrong with them?? SOMEONE EXPLAIN THE JUSTICE THAT IS BEING DONE!
Tanning Bed? | August 24, 2007 at 10:56 am
So it looks like Nicole has lines under her arms from the tanning beds…aren’t you supposed to steer clear of these while pregnant?
Yeah for my brothers and sisters | August 24, 2007 at 10:59 am
See? Nicole is black and she got a break from the justice system. No race cards necessary! Yeah! Oh shit. I bet Sharpton is bummed.
MoonChild | August 24, 2007 at 11:19 am
Wow.
So driving while under the influence of drugs and alcohol…GOING THE WRONG WAY on the freeway no less only gives you 80 minutes in the slammer in L.A…..Well, I know where I’m gonna commit a mass murder…I’ll probably get 30 days at a pretend jail at Disney world with an animatronic guard and licorice hand-cuffs and my daily punishment will be to clean out the Unicorn stalls….
What a joke.
free sample | August 24, 2007 at 11:32 am
Yeah and if it as me I’d be in the big house for a month at least.
Is anyone investigating these star struck judges?
LL | August 24, 2007 at 11:32 am
The rich are better than the rest of us. They shouldn’t have to do time. C’mon, who else is going to buy really expensive stuff that none of the rest of us can afford and then make us feel bad because we don’t have as much money as them? They can’t drive around in cars that cost as much as a house or walk around wearing clothes that cost as much as a car if they’re in jail, they have to be out roaming free so we can all see them proving they’re better than us. Think, people, think!
Big Daddy | August 24, 2007 at 11:36 am
Big Mama – “I’m not a fat anorexia like Nichole.”
What the hell does that even mean? And who is Nichole? You mean Nicole?
-Big D
lambman | August 24, 2007 at 11:49 am
If the jail is crowded they should put her under house arrest, and then a sexy blond chick will move in next door and bizzarely start a romance with her….until the man across the street starts trying to kill people, and date her really, really hot mom….I saw that in a documentary I think
Angry Socialist | August 24, 2007 at 12:01 pm
What the fuck is wrong with LA? . . . besides the usual I mean. It’s all Rodney King’s fault. If the LAPD had any real men on the force, they’d be sodomizing these drugged out skanks like a Preacher on Sunday.
I
my comment | August 24, 2007 at 12:01 pm
#2 said it all. Nothing more can be said.
Bite Me! | August 24, 2007 at 12:05 pm
It looks like it was a little cold in jail.
mjb | August 24, 2007 at 12:06 pm
FIRST BITCHES!!!!
Bite Me! | August 24, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Are you on crack MJB? You’re 25th
TF&LBJ | August 24, 2007 at 12:11 pm
I hope someone kills her
NewWorldOrder | August 24, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Well little buddies, better get used to it and adapt to it getting worse. All is for sale. Capitalism is a 1000-headed dragon and it rules the realm! $$$$$$$$
Ha hahah ha ha ha hha . “We” – the American little guy and middle guy, are fucked.
Ya aint got money ya aint got shit. Gloom and doom. Entropy.
Annie Fizzbang | August 24, 2007 at 12:18 pm
I think the judge realized that the combination of Joel’s genes and Lionel Richie’s could only result in the Greatest Songwriter Ever, and he didn’t want the kid being born in prison so he’d grow up writing blues music. If Nicole is free and doing coke, then the kid can only write masterpieces that will be played in elevators worldwide.
andreea | August 24, 2007 at 12:19 pm
ohhh… i need to have her sunglasses! someone’s buying me the sunglasses *eye blink*
FRIST!!! | August 24, 2007 at 12:19 pm
She did her time
Bite Me! | August 24, 2007 at 12:25 pm
@31 where did she do her time? She never even made it to her jail cell
Bite Me! | August 24, 2007 at 12:27 pm
@30 Andrea – I will buy them but you have to come to California to pick them up
Busty Raquel | August 24, 2007 at 12:33 pm
No. #3 – VERY NICE scenario.
Very funny.
Well thought out!
mafme | August 24, 2007 at 12:33 pm
“Ugly”? that’s going to be a friggin flipper baby.
You know, the Paris thing wasn’t a big deal, but this skank could have killed people with her blasted-out-of-mind driving the wrong way on a freeway. That’s not funny, cute, or anything. That is on par to mindlessly brandishing a loaded weapon… not cool. Good thing she not a black dude or she would have been beaten into a coma by the cops… or just shot through the window.
HughJorgan | August 24, 2007 at 12:42 pm
#35
ad guy: well at least there aren’t any major side effects
Scientist: oh there where a few side effects
Ad guy: well at least there weren’t any flipper babies
Scientist: oh there were a few flipper babies
gotta love the kids in the hall
Topspin | August 24, 2007 at 12:43 pm
The key to getting the straw into a Capri Sun is to turn the pouch upside down and puncture the bottom of the bag with a straw. Points for looking cooler than everyone else.
lalalal | August 24, 2007 at 12:54 pm
hahahahahahahahahahaha @ the Capri Sun juice-boxes! hahahaha I know exactly what you’re talking about!
somewhereinthemiddle | August 24, 2007 at 12:58 pm
You have to look at this in bimbo years not the regular time the rest of us live on. That was 98 real time minutes without, staring in the mirror, texting, or buying something. She even had to pretend to have morals. I bet she felt like she had woken from a 10 year coma walking out of the police station. It’s not easy being rich and unemployed I bet she had to reschedule her pedicure. Here you people are saying she got off easy.
KC | August 24, 2007 at 1:03 pm
Can’t wait for Lindsay’s 30 second stay in jail.
mafme | August 24, 2007 at 1:20 pm
IT WAS ONLY A COUPLE OF FLIPPER BABIES!!
Tired | August 24, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Anyone else here getting sick of the same old recycled trash?
Paris – Lindsey – Britney – Nicole
(And now I am afraid it is going to become a fivesome with Hayden.)
Sure, they are easy to pick on. All they have to do is breathe right?
I don’t even read half their stories anymore. And it’s mostly the witty writing that entertains me.
But I have had enough of the same old dried up washed up paricolindsney.
There are soooooooo many celebs in Hollywood.
I need more versatility. More celebs. Maybe a couple with a bit of class. Something new. Something blue.
:(
polypam | August 24, 2007 at 1:45 pm
I’ve had detention longer that that effing sentence. Fuck her.
There's only room enough for one Cowgirl in this town | August 24, 2007 at 1:49 pm
You know Foxy Brown would be in jail until the year 2012 if she tried that DUI shit!
Shallow Val | August 24, 2007 at 1:57 pm
25 years ago….Lionel Richie & wife at adoption agency…
“Honey, I don’t want a girl, they’re so much work.”
“Yeah but Li, she’s the right complection and part Dominican, she’ll be beautiful.”
“But a boy will…oh, all right, you know best. I’ll be a proud daddy anyway.”
25 years later Lionel Richie smaking head a la V-8 style…
“Man, I shoulda gotten the boy.”
Chi-wow-wow | August 24, 2007 at 1:58 pm
42 Tired
They’re media whores and probably the only ones that are SUPER easy to photograph.
michelle | August 24, 2007 at 2:54 pm
They’re missing the point.
How is justice giving a poor person and a filthy rich person the same fine etc ?
How is that fair?
You need to do it based on their earnings, power, or at least common sense.
Even if they got a $1 000 000 fine and a whole year in jail the only thing it would do is make them more money and make them more famous. So it really isn’t working with regards to justice and them paying for their actions.
joflo | August 24, 2007 at 3:52 pm
so if you almost kill someone you spend 82 minutes… if you’re a teenager buying a twenty-sack on the corner, you spend the night. makes sense.
PC | August 24, 2007 at 4:14 pm
Eh, I don’t really care about this one. She’s pregnant. I don’t like seeing pregnant women in jail. It’s kinda sad. As for Lohan, that’s a completely different story. If Paris got a 40-day sentence for driving a suspended license, then Lohan should get a few months for 2 felony DUI charges and 1 charge of cocaine possession.
alexandra | August 24, 2007 at 6:51 pm
well i hit a car and drove away and then totaled my car with weed in my car after driving on the wrong side of the road with a provisional license (past the cerfew or whatever) and my lawyer had it ALL reduced to 1 charge of obstructing traffic (for only about a $1000 fee), so yes, this does happen to real people, too. not just celebs. thank god i’m not black, tho!!