Nicole Richie is really really thirsty

March 5th, 2007 // 43 Comments
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Nicole Richie was treated for dehydration last Friday while working on The Simple Life and was taken to a hospital after feeling ill and being examined by an on-set doctor. She was given intravenous fluids for 15 minutes before being released.

Looks like eating isn’t the only concept that eludes Nicole Richie. You know how you battle dehydration? You drink something. It’s not exactly a medical mystery. She’s so dumb she was probably rubbing her elbows in orange juice and going, “Is this right? Am I doing this right? I’m doing it! I’m drinking!”

superficial

  1. Nsomniac

    It’s against all laws of physics for her to carry more weight in coffee than in her entire body and still be able to stand upright. I’m confused and excited all at the same time.

  2. Nsomniac

    Is it me, or is she starting to look healthy? And by healthy, I mean like 5th grade boy healthy.

  3. Nsomniac

    That’s not coffee, it’s the new choco-laxo store in Beverly Hills. Who said staying super-skinny couldn’t taste good?

  4. Stink

    Hey, stop busting on her! Mostly dead is the new sexy. Or blackouts are the new black. Or something.

  5. schack

    choco laxo… hahaha

    i bet that girl’s spent more time shitting and vomitting than you’ve spent breathing, Stink.

    no need to hate her anymore. she’s a has-been-never-was who spends half her time wretching her whole body, trying to wring the life out of it: i say time served.

  6. 2for2true

    Ol’ Goodber sez:

    “Well, now THERE’S your problem lil’ missy, you see..

    …that there straw goes in yer pie hole, not in those two little’uns above it!”

  7. Stink

    5- that’d be a lot of poop. I’m talking Super Bowl halftime levels of poop.

    There’s nothing wrong with her that McDonalds couldn’t fix…maybe a trip to Oz for a new brain too…

  8. The 15 minutes of intravenous fluids was a polite way of saying the attending physician mouth-fucked her silly. To holistic practicioners and good girls everywhere, semen is the world’s best protein shake.

  9. crestlin

    so you ARE running out of crap to write about celebs. i have to say, i’m very displeased with you superfish guy. you’re starting to slack!

  10. mrlithium

    drinking so much coffee is probably why she’s dehydrated. its very easy to get dehydrated when you’re that skinny and especially if you don’t eat a lot, and coffee acts as a strong diuretic (meaning you urinate way more) so you lose whatever fluids you had before too

  11. sol

    i did a cut-and-paste thing like this once in college and got an “F”

  12. griffmills

    I think she looks tasty

  13. I threw a cup of water over her but she just threw up and Joel Madden punched some Pap that he thought did it.

    Nightmare

  14. schack

    well stink, considering she’s lost an average-sized person worth of weight (or more), there would be a pile of poop and vomit whose caloric value is at least equal to the energy contained in piece of fat with the mass of a human body. that piece of fat has A LOT of calories in it, so that pile o’ shit would have to be pretty darn big.

  15. MrSemprini

    She could REALLY use the Water Bondage treatment now…

  16. igvegdrim

    i would still fuck her skeletor ass while she was vomiting

  17. mr right

    I’d fuck her while her ass was vomiting.

    your turn.

  18. Stink

    14- Imagine Nicole Richie squatting a continuous lincoln log the distance from New York to LA with a detour to Seattle. That’s the damage/caloric loss this girl has done to herself. Horrible, but it’d make a good reality show.

  19. sol

    Two continuous lincoln logs are traveling in opposite directions between New York and LA. One log starts out from NY at 9am EST traveling at 60 mph; the second log leaves LA at 11am PST traveling at 80 mph. The owner of the LA log consumed twice as much corn the day before as the owner of the NY log. Which log will reach its destination first (frist)?

  20. igvegdrim

    i wonder if she really does like for sure take anal play? i am sure she does.

  21. schack

    sol.

    hi-fucking-larious. (16&17 not bad either)

  22. MizScarlett

    Can we please cease the anal talk? It’s lunchtime, for shit’s sake.

  23. I hate to break in with like ‘;facts’ and stuff like that not normally discussed here, but you might like to consider:

    (from POPBITCH, a celeb gossip email thing from Britain which you might find funny):

    >> Celebrity Diet Secrets <<
    Clenbuterol – the secret to size zero

    LA’s current concentration camp look isn’t just the result of cocaine and eating disorders.

    Everyone’s doing Clenbuterol. Prescribed as an asthma medication, Clenbuterol is taken by body-builders and now weight-watchers for its amazing fat-burning qualities.

    The drug works by raising body temperature, thereby burning more calories. But it’s only designed to be taken temporarily and carefully. Ever wondered why celebrities always seemed to be hospitalised for asthma, dehydration and exhaustion?

  24. Richie’s a cunt.

  25. “dehydration” = drug overdose

  26. #8 LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  27. D'arcy

    Nicole is haunted by the ghost of Karen Carpenter.

  28. MissD

    coffee isn’t going to do you any favours if you’re dehydrated.

  29. polypam

    They’re making new episodes of that stupid show?

  30. jrzmommy

    fat people get dehydrated easier than the rest of us.

  31. VeronicaRedux

    UnwashedMasses…. to you I give the coveted *golf clap*

  32. LL

    Like polypam said, WTF are they making more of that stinking show? It’s on E now. The next step down is a local cable access channel. Nobody wants to see those two bitches anymore. Unless it’s from inside the prison where they are incarcerated. Then I MAY watch it to see them get beaten up in the shower but before the rape by instrumentation starts.

  33. k naz

    pretty soon shes going to need an IV to walk down the street but you better believe it will be some hot designer shit

  34. schack

    wow, spamfighter. i didn’t know that. you learn smthng new everyday!

  35. Bree

    Of course there was an on-set doctor, people from Auschwitz are very fragile when they first leave the camp and need constant care and attention.

    Which I figured the pampered bitch gets enough of already, but I guess not.

  36. sumnersgal

    I feel the need to say….who cares.

  37. sid

    I’m so glad she got the nutrients and help she so desperately needs. The doctors were very wise to take her to the hospital for treatment and…

    ..would somebody just run her over with a forklift? Please?

    BORING! Fuck!

  38. Candycane

    Has anyone ever told Nicole that water doesn’t have calories?

  39. flauccinaucinihilipilifcation

    Agggh… Nicole Ritchie updates are sooooooo 2006. Anymore and i’ll grab that toothpick bizatch and use her to impale myself.

  40. Lowlands

    When you’re in her company and smoking a cigarette,don’t blow the smoke towards her direction because she’ll vanish in a cloud of dust.

  41. HughJorganthethird

    To stupid to drink fluids, only a matter of time until she forgets to breathe, or the HPV kills her, either or.

  42. bluehairchick

    Well, I would like to point out that perhaps instead of being “too stupid” to actually drink fluids, she might have been feeling too ill to drink anything and/or vomiting. A person with such a small body mass would surely get dehydrated very quickly.
    I had to be treated for dehydration myself about a week ago (and yes, I KNOW how to drink water), but I had a stomach bug and couldn’t keep anything down all day (even water), and was very ill with bronchitis as well….. dehydration can happen very quickly sometimes and it feels awful.

    It took me 2 1/2 hours to get all of the IV fluids I needed, so if Nicole only needed 15 minutes, she must not have been too ill.

  43. good lord, if she doesn’t eat you’d think at least she drinks a lot

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