Nicole Richie has to go to jail

December 14th, 2006 // 66 Comments

nicole-richie-jail.jpgTurns out Nicole Richie pled no contest to a DUI four years ago and under California law if she’s convicted of a DUI from Monday’s arrest she must serve a mandatory jail sentence. The law requires five consecutive days in county jail as well a one year license suspension. She’d also have to attend an alcohol education program for a year and a half even though her second DUI wasn’t alcohol related.

TMZ has obtained the police documents in the 2002 case. In the arrest report it reveals that Richie told cops all she had eaten that day were french fries. As for what she drank that day — “1 shot vodka.”

She blew a .12. and a .13 in two separate tests. In California, .08 is considered legally intoxicated. Richie was stopped in her Toyota Corolla after a UCLA police officer observed her blowing a red light and driving over a speed bump at more than 50 miles an hour in an area with a 15 mph speed limit. Richie flunked the field sobriety test — her eyes were watery and bloodshot, and she could not keep her balance.

I go days on vodka and french fries all the time. I call those weekdays. And weekends? Well I call those penguin eaters. Don’t ask why, unless you’re prepared for a heaping bowl full of awesome.


  1. BarbadoSlim

    I predict some major butch on anorexic action here.

  2. I am ready for a heaping bowl full of awesome, what are penguin eaters?

  3. arrested-development

    i call weekdays penguin eaters too! but i usually chase them with gin, not vodka.

    nicole, it’s going to be tough taking time out of your busy schedule of sleeping and wearing huge sunglasses to spend 4 days in jail. life is pretty rough when you’re nicole richie.

  4. jrzmommy

    I know of a 7’9″ Mongolian who could help her limber up for the Femme Fist Fun action she’ll be getting.

  5. BarbadoSlim

    Simple Life: The Prison Bitch Chronicles

  6. Jenster

    ha ha!
    that botch is going to jail, oh man, I can see it now.

    and what the hell are penguin eaters?
    I’m so ready for a heaping pile of awesome

  7. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Awesome! They should most definitely do a reality show about this. “The simple life goes to prison”! Maybe Paris can visit her in the slammer!

  8. 323Lurve

    stripes were so last season…

  9. jrzmommy

    A special cell for her………she can slip between the bars of a regular one!

  10. MyGosh!

    Maybe they could film a new series of the “Simple Life” with her in jail, forced to eat.

  11. Nikk The Templar




    Let’s home that she gains some fucking weight in jail.

  12. No! Not jail! She’ll be used by other inmates as a shiv! They’ll stab each other with her hips and shoulder blades!

  13. calicojack

    sweet…richie rockin’ the orange jumpsuit…life is gooood
    i hope they break that bitches oversized sunglasses up her non-existent ass when she gets there.

  14. Vandra

    She was driving a Toyota Corolla?

  15. dreamhypnotique

    As awful as this is for Nicole Ritchie, at least she’s rich, so in the end she can just hire some loser to drive her around all day in her car and basically be at her beck and call 24/7/(365×1.5). I’d be willing to do it, though it would make me give up my ultra-high-paying gig as a store clerk in the meantime. At least I’d finally be able to tell people what I do for a living and be able to laugh with them.

  16. cardio

    That’s hot.


  17. rmol100

    hahahaha dirty bitch!!!
    maybe she will be forced to eat something in there
    dirty bitch!!!

  18. jrzmommy

    You know, Kate, wherever you are, now would be a good time to head out to Hell-A and get yourself some pokey-time and maybe you and your hero Nicole could be cell mates!!!

  19. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer girl.

  20. Tracy

    French fries and vodka? No no. I prefer tater tots with my hard liquor. French fries go best with a nice merlot. Now that’s classy.

  21. jrzkid

    mommy please stop being mean to that lady. she made one comment to you, yesterday. you get angry and mean like this all the time. it makes me sad.

    why won’t you take care of me when i’m sick?

  22. rmol100

    ok nice comment:i’ll still hit that

  23. tuckerkatt

    As if she’s going to spend any time in jail. Remember, there is the law-for-normal-people and there is the law-for-celebs. The latter even applies to useless “why is this person famous?” people like Nicole.

  24. yes…my wish came through – partially – I would have loved to see her get a 5 year sentence instead of 5 days!

  25. 21st century digital boy

    #12 Not from the CIA. Mwhahahahahahhahahaaaaa!

    If women’s prison is anything like men’s, they’re going to snap her in half.

  26. BarbadoSlim

    Damn Jz you got some major trollage going there, what did you do to that poor boy.

    Are you THAT hot?


  27. jrzmommy

    jrzkid–that “lady” tried to kill baby jesus on his birthday and there almost wasn’t such a thing called Christmas!
    take care of you when you’re sick? sweetie, mommy gave you TWO shots of Stoli’s in your OJ this morning–what more do you need? Now run along.

  28. Pointandlaugh

    “Hmm….I need to gain weight, what should I eat? oooo I will be really bad and have a few french fries! tee hee! (munch munch) …….oh oh……here comes the self-loathing again. I need to make it go away. Vodka…I love you.”

  29. 323Lurve

    but at least the black and white stripes will be representative of her confusion about her own race…

  30. PrettyBaby

    #21 Aaahaha marshmallow_dream- We feel your presence.

  31. SonJaSpiCe

    I love the picture that goes with the article. She’s shocked and confused and scratching her head. Well done superfish!

    Also, drinking/drugs and driving is not cool. I fucking hate celebrities (or in this case, Nicole Richie) who do shit like that. That’s all.

  32. RichPort


    Jrz, the’ll need to use chicken wire to keep that pigeon looking bitch in the hole. Of course thatprobably won’t be the first time she’s been in the ‘hole’, but still…

  33. jrzmommy

    31–shhhhh…….Nicole has worshippers here…they may troll you.

  34. rmol100

    sonjaspice: you’re not cool

  35. justme

    She should have blown the cops. It always works.


  36. cjos9703

    NIcole was driving a Black Mercedes SUV

  37. ponk

    i’d hate to get my hopes up that she might actually serve one fucking hour in jail. oh the tears, the tears would fall.
    and BarbadoSlim, JRZ is the definition of MILF.
    ps. trolls need to get a life.
    pps. TCLTC

  38. RichPort

    What would it be like watching this chick give head? I picture trying to shove a kielbasa in one of the fingers of a latex glove…

  39. jrzkid

    mommy you’re just playing around. why won’t you take care of me??? i feel so sick. i hate being lonely when i’m sick. i need my mommy. i promise i’ll be good, i won’t make you angry. please???

  40. RichPort

    #40 – (CRICKETS)

  41. bigponie

    It’s only fitting when nicole goes to jail that the guards play “All Night Long” over the loud speakers.

  42. Missallanpoe

    YES!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!! *spins hair like in herbal essence commercials* the 3rd best arrest EVER. Martha Stewart comes first though.

  43. LoneWolf

    I’ll be surprised if this Karen Carpenter wannabe does a second of jail time. She was nobody before The Simple Life and other than being a freak show she has no reason for anyone to be interested in her. Maybe they’ll cancel TSL and she’ll OD. Let’s just hope she isn’t on a fuckin freeway when it happens.

  44. ana-rexia

    Shes going to have every hard ass fisting dyke up her whoo-haa. They might as well plan her funeral because she’ll never make it

  45. ToiletDuck

    Hopefully she will get gang-raped by a crazed gang of herpes-infected lesbian bikers…

  46. Gaby

    all i read from this was TOYOTA COROLLA? ah.

  47. DancingQueen

    The lollipop head is finally going to jail. How fitting. Wow, she’ll finally have some street cred. I guess she’s just “keeping it real.”

  48. I thought you might enjoy this EXCLUSIVE interview with Nicole Richie’s attorney:

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