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Nicole Richie was spotted eating pizza in Malibu yesterday in her bikini. Which she should really stop doing because it’s going straight to her thighs. And I’m not sure what’s up with her sunglasses but they make her look like a cartoon fly. They look like something a third grade class put together in arts and crafts. And I’m not even going to address the bikini top since I couldn’t manage to look at it long enough to fully take it in. The last thing I remember were flashes of purple, nipple, and bone, and then I woke up on the floor covered in a pile of my own vomit.
More of Nicole Richie looking like an awkward Gollum after the jump.
Sarah-Jean | August 15, 2006 at 3:14 pm
What a waste of a perfectly good piece of pizza…
Jim Treacher | August 15, 2006 at 3:15 pm
When you can use your sunglasses as a bra, have another slice.
Sarah-Jean | August 15, 2006 at 3:15 pm
At least she’s eating something…
Or IS she eating it??
Maybe it’s just for SHOW!!!
Wouldn’t that figure.
jrzmommy | August 15, 2006 at 3:17 pm
Notice how the pizza isn’t acutally getting smaller or disappearing like food does when you EAT it? Because she’s not actually eating the pizza.
Look at that sternum.
ImSuicidal | August 15, 2006 at 3:21 pm
Thin crust pizza = no nutritional value!
MollyPoo | August 15, 2006 at 3:22 pm
My gawd, she’s got ugly feet.
And yeah, #4, that sternum is crazy! Yeesh…
Toonlite | August 15, 2006 at 3:22 pm
as she eats she poos…she will never gain weight
but what is so freaky is she looks like a hobbitt….her feet are HUGE….
bogdana | August 15, 2006 at 3:22 pm
Notice how the pizza never changes size. I believe this is a thinly veiled ploy, via play dough pizza, to make us all think she ingests things.
jrzmommy | August 15, 2006 at 3:22 pm
What do you call Nicole Richie with a yeast infection?
A quarter-pounder with cheese.
bogdana | August 15, 2006 at 3:23 pm
Notice how the pizza never changes size. I believe this is a thinly veiled ploy, via play dough pizza, to make us all think she ingests things.
bogdana | August 15, 2006 at 3:24 pm
not only did #4 say that already, but i said it twice, so now its said three times! Gad!
Well at least we’re all on the same page.
Toonlite | August 15, 2006 at 3:25 pm
….and those glasses…I agree…the compound fly eyes makes her feel like she is eating alot of pizza
Wanna Pet My Beaver? | August 15, 2006 at 3:25 pm
Sweet! Mummies ROCK!
Uhn Tiss Baby | August 15, 2006 at 3:26 pm
Good girl. Is it just me, or does she already seem to look a liiiittle better? Anyway, I’m totally feeling for her. Although your comment about waking up in your own vomit gave me the fits for like 3 minutes.
rudesauce | August 15, 2006 at 3:26 pm
Who’s the feeble old man having a hard time walking down the stairs?
Detroit2NYC | August 15, 2006 at 3:27 pm
I smell a publicity stunt! She’s not really eating that pizza, she’s pressing it to her lips and smiling. There’s no way you would have time to snap 10 shots of ME eating one scrawny slice of pizza because I would inhale it! Next we’ll see pics of nicole passed out next to an empty KFC bucket, with milkshake cleverly splattered on her bikini top and trademark head scarf…..yeah right!
rudesauce | August 15, 2006 at 3:28 pm
Is she blind from starvation, because that bikini totally doesn’t match!
rudesauce | August 15, 2006 at 3:29 pm
Maybe that’s what the sunglasses are for…
Carolicious | August 15, 2006 at 3:31 pm
Is it sad that the skinny girl with her looks curvier and healthy?!
sirap | August 15, 2006 at 3:33 pm
The skinner she gets, the more attention she gets. She may be ignorant, but very trainable. I guarantee if you ring a bell she will start salivating.
krisdylee | August 15, 2006 at 3:37 pm
Fuck she’s ugly.
jrzmommy | August 15, 2006 at 3:38 pm
Those are some big feet! She looks like a golf club. If she had bucked teeth you could use her for a rake.
ImSuicidal | August 15, 2006 at 3:39 pm
#10 & 11 – You’re funny… Gad!!!
CelebSlam.com | August 15, 2006 at 3:41 pm
That’s an obvious photoshop
http://www.celebslam.com
Praz | August 15, 2006 at 3:46 pm
I thought this article was about Lionel Richie’s daughter, why are there all these pictures of Calista Flockhart?
Rimmer | August 15, 2006 at 3:58 pm
Haaahaa Nicole gets a pizza glued to her hand. That’s just like those college pranks where someone falls asleep drunk and gets bad words written on their face and things. Funny stuff!
They go like “eeeuw, get if off me haa haa”
Spindoc | August 15, 2006 at 3:59 pm
#16 Detroit2NYC
I agree with you. When CAlista Flockhart started to get those articles written about her saying she was too thin, SUDDENLY every shot of her she was holding a bag of M&M’s or carrying a milkshake or something….she never ate more than one M&M for the pic though. Same thing with Nichole. This is the SAME girl that in one episode of the Simple Life went out and ate like 4 Big Mac’s yet she’s taking 15 bites of pizza and not making a dent in it. I’m SURE after she heard the cameras snapping and knew the shot had been taken that that slice hit the trash.
Spindoc | August 15, 2006 at 4:03 pm
That Trademark Headscarf has a purpose by the way….Anorexic’s hair starts to thin out. The Scarf keeps it from blowing and revealing the thin spots.
jrzmommy | August 15, 2006 at 4:04 pm
Maybe she saw a picture of how entirely goofy she looks when she eats so she stopped eating altogether. (Last three pictures are evidence of this theory.)
RichPort | August 15, 2006 at 4:06 pm
I bet all the 400 lb cheesy, cellulitey, mutli-necked, obese people at her Eaters Anonymous meetings just wanna beat the shit out of her when it’s her turn to speak. No doubt she’ll finish most of that slice tomorrow, then woof down the crust on Thursday. Greedy, fat bitch.
RenoScarab | August 15, 2006 at 4:16 pm
I would just like to take a moment to applaud the camera man. This scarecrow only eats once every 6 weeks, and he managed to capture that delicate moment on film! What commitment! What perseverance!
angry-ferret.blogspot.com
jrzmommy | August 15, 2006 at 4:22 pm
Actually, these pictures are out of sequence. The ones where she’s “eating” are taken before the ones of her walking (because she obviously isn’t bright enough to do both at the same time) The first two should be the last two. And that pizza ain’t NOWHERE near her mouth in any of them. That slice was seagull bait.
ImSuicidal | August 15, 2006 at 4:28 pm
Nicole don’t want no fuckin’ fruitplate!
http://www.betterthanyou.org/pictures/displayimage.php?pid=1559&fullsize=1
ImSuicidal | August 15, 2006 at 4:35 pm
And here’s how she spent her day.
http://www.betterthanyou.org/pictures/thumbnails.php?album=182
Limbo | August 15, 2006 at 4:40 pm
“Which she should really stop doing because it’s going straight to her thighs.”
Ahahahah, funniest line ever! She’s disgusting!
Linnea | August 15, 2006 at 4:41 pm
I hate it when I feel too bad for people to make fun of them.
It’s like stealing an ice cream cone from a little African kid with AIDS and no legs.
Actually, she sort of looks like a little AIDS baby.
And AIDS baby with really creepy clothing.
vainandlovingit | August 15, 2006 at 4:44 pm
she looks like that creepy little girl/old lady in “the others”. ick. i honestly feel sorry for her.
nc72 | August 15, 2006 at 4:44 pm
Some photos from 2004. It’s sad she looked much better then.
http://www.exposay.com/nicole-richie-2004-summer-fox-tca-all-star-party/p/3498/61/
nc72 | August 15, 2006 at 4:45 pm
Side profile, she actually has a chest
http://www.exposay.com/nicole-richie-2004-summer-fox-tca-all-star-party/p/3498/60/
biatcho | August 15, 2006 at 4:47 pm
That’s actually not a bikini top at all Mr Superficial. It’s one of those crazy 80s bracelets that are hard & rigid that you have to snap them onto your wrist in order to wear.
PS – I said hard & rigid.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | August 15, 2006 at 4:48 pm
The eyes of Nicole Ritchie are among the most complex in the insect world. They are $800 sunglasses with many individual facets, each representing a separate light-detecting unit. The light reflected from the sunglasses of Nicole Ritchie can form a rainbow.
Nicole Ritchie tastes, smells, and feels with the hairs that cover her body. The hairs on the her mouth parts and feet are used for tasting. Nicole tastes what she walks on. If she walks onto something tasty, she puts down her mouth and tastes it again.
Nicole uses headbands to tell them when they touch something. These headbands bend when touched.
The eyes of Nicole Ritchie do not have eyelids, so she rubs her eyes with her feet to keep them clean.
Nicole Ritchie cleans itself constantly.
Nicole Ritchie walks on smooth surfaces using $1100 shoes. This allows her to walk on vertical glass surfaces in short skirts with ease.
Because of her habits of being attracted to feces and decaying meat, Nicole Ritchie has been implicated in transmission of disease such as dysentery, typhoid fever, and cholera. It is suggested that Nicole Ritchie be kept away from foodstuffs and small children.
pinky_nip | August 15, 2006 at 4:51 pm
Since when did we start dropping pizzas on third world countries?
bigponie | August 15, 2006 at 4:53 pm
hey it’s axel fuckin’ rose
Spindoc | August 15, 2006 at 4:54 pm
#41 Osh. LOL!!!!!!! F-ing Hilarious.
crystalclear | August 15, 2006 at 4:54 pm
Look at pic 4 and 10 with her cheeks all puffed out pretending like she’s got a mouthful.
ImSuicidal | August 15, 2006 at 4:55 pm
Click the link and look at the little girl on the right! She’s probably 12 years old and has more of a figure than stick lady.
http://www.betterthanyou.org/pictures/displayimage.php?pid=1585&fullsize=1
docta | August 15, 2006 at 5:02 pm
i know this is sort of missing the point, but god i hate those idiotic glasses
Sidius | August 15, 2006 at 5:04 pm
Are they kidding me with this pizza eating ploy. This is the fakest thing I have seen since I saw Lindsay Lohan’s side boob yesterday. Fakity fake fake. Give us a break Nicole Richie’s publicist. You suck.
Bandeezee | August 15, 2006 at 5:09 pm
I don’t know what the big deal is. Thighs that don’t rub together are hot.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | August 15, 2006 at 5:12 pm
Nicole Ritchie ate my pussy… but she had to vomit her emetic fluids on it first.