Nicole Richie gets sentenced

July 27th, 2007 // 68 Comments

Nicole Richie pleaded guilty to driving under the influence of drugs and was sentenced to serve four days in her choice of city or county jail. She was credited the fifth day for the six hours she served after being arrested. She was also fined $2,048 and ordered to complete a 21 day alcohol education course, and to serve three years probation.

The sentence sounds fair enough, but that 21 day alcohol education course is a complete waste. This is Nicole Richie we’re talking about. She’d learn just as much if you put on a puppet show for an hour and a half.


  1. Farley

    skinny ho.

  2. imran karim

    i guess she didn’t kill anyone

  3. The Beer Baron

    Nothing says White Trash like walking your baby momma into her DUI court case. Bravo…”I’m wearing an expensive suit AND a mohawk.” Douche.

  4. Nsomniac

    Right. 3 years probation. Let’s see how long that one lasts. The cubs have a better chance at winning a world series than this chick has at making it through 3 years without breaking probation. I give her 3 urine tests before she pisses dirty.

  5. Hollywood Agent

    I’m still scared of her, car or not. I think that she is going to give birth to the anti-christ. Have you seen the father?

  6. Nsomniac

    PS – Nice fauxhawk douchebag. Joel Madden is as punk as George Bush. I seem to recall a band cameo on “Not Another Teen Movie” where these asshats were dressed in normal clothes singing pop-rock. Vanilla Ice was more real than this dickwad.

  7. willtherealvictorpleasestandup

    it looks like they’re going to a funeral. unfortunately it’s not Paris’.

    where did his skunk inspired hair color go? these two are a bunch of tools. and who wears a suit like that to court. it looks like a tuxedo.

  8. goldilocks

    Only 21 days of alcohol education? I know people with 2nd DUI offenses and they are stuck in 18month programs! She got off easy!!!!! I am protesting.

  9. Kamihi

    Druggie fool, yuck.

  10. christ ona crotch

    I like the “puppet show” reference.

    I hate punk posers too. I miss the real HARDcore scene. Oh how I yearn for 1987 again.

  11. I wonder if her fiancee will bother to visit her in the slam?

  12. mary

    I was debating whether to call Joel Madden a douchebag or a tool, but 6 and 7 beat me to both of them. She was sentenced to SERVE 4 days, but I still wanna know how many days she got suspended, and if she’s actually pregnant. She’ll totally give birth to the anti christ, they look like something out of the Critter Christmas episode of South Park… you know, where the porcupine gives birth to the anti christ and Santa comes and saves the day.

  13. jrzmommy

    I think she should have to take care of a quadreplegic who was made that way because of a drunk driver for four days.

  14. Hard time will do U zome good…maybe prove that
    their iz a world outzide of your fluffy world…?

  15. Further proof that celebs should not be allowed to breed.

    Exhibit B?;golink;1&om_act=convert&om_clk=topslot

  16. Where is Al Sharpton? Is he going to protest the short sentence?

  17. willtherealvictorpleasestandup

    12, i loved critter christmas!

    this will be baby 5 who’s predicted to be the anti-christ. maybe this one is the real deal!

    jrz, you know all she would do is make fun of the person.

  18. Christie

    I’m in a wheelchair, so I think it’s very sharp and clever to suggest that taking care of someone like me is a great punishment.

  19. HughJorgan

    How in the fuck can you live in Califirnia and be so fucking pale? I’m Canadian and I’ve got more sun than these two corpses. Do they sleep in special super douche chambers all day and only come out at night?

  20. Bite Me!

    Big deal 4 days? that is all the bitch got for driving the wrong way on the freeway? WTF!!! They will let this stupid bitch out by lunch the way the jail systems work here in California!

  21. willtherealvictorpleasestandup

    18, are you a quadreplegic who was hit by a drunk driver?

    just asking.

  22. p911gt10c


  23. Mearl

    can you give birth without a menstrual cycle?

  24. 16===I like Al Zharpton…at leazt he haz big ballz to ztand up & zpeak…
    long az he don’t touch my rightz…he iz great…..

    where iz our bigballz white perzon making zure that everything iz fair…
    we got fucked …we have no one…we have to depend on Al to get zhit
    done……hope U protezt Al….much love to U and your effortz…?

  25. adeliza

    You got it partly right. They are vampires.

  26. jrzmommy

    I don’t mean that to fuck with people in wheelchairs…that’s honest to God hard work taking care of someone who is paralyzed. Especially quads….they’re vent cases ususally, you gotta lift them, you gotta change their feeding tubes, catheters………I’d love for the Four Skanks of the Apocalypse, and all the other fucking assholes who drive around like the roads are their private fucking obstacle courses when they’re loaded to have to see some drunk’s handywork.

  27. jrzmommy

    18–Basically, I meant no disrespect to you.

  28. Sauron

    Pitch and feathers,pillory,Spanish Inquisition and guillotine.What happened to those good ol’ days and why are they gone?

  29. Crap Tonight

    That was no baby it was just a fart

  30. Amy

    #19: Why the fuck does everyone on earth have to look like you? What’s wrong with having a paler skin color? Better than looking like a goddamn leather purse in 20 years or having massive scars on your face from where they had to cut out the malignant melanoma because you tried to make your skin color something it’s not. Ass. I think all skin colors should be loved.

  31. Bite Me!

    @27 I know what you ment and I don’t think it is disrespectful

  32. LayDeeBug

    #19, HughJorgan – wow long time no read

  33. LayDeeBug

    #30 no respect to Hugh but AMY that leather purse reference almost made me choke with laughter.

    (Cleans up mess of spit-up brown rice and lettuce on the table.)

  34. Amy

    @ 33

    It’s funny cause it’s true. We’ve all seen the purse-ladies.

  35. MrFade

    WTF? 4 days is a fair sentence? please. stop smoking crack.

  36. lemon tree

    I think they both look better here than they do normally!

    And, it may only be four days and 3 years probation, but at least it’s something, you know? Hopefully it will make a lasting impression and she’ll learn from it.

  37. gotmilk?

    California law states that repeat DUI offenders get minimum of three months in jail, the sentence is reduced to only four days if the person accepts a three-year probation term.

    well, there ya go.

  38. robyn

    Madden’s got a nice collection of chins there.

  39. ladyface

    Joel Madden looks like Pete Doherty’s fat, unpopular brother who stole his suit from a corpse.


    I love all skin colors, even the pale white zombie-flesh of the living dead.

  41. jakebarnes

    I am sick of seeing what these famous people wear to court. Trendy sunglasses and slim-tailored retro 2-tone suits are not appropriate for court. You wanna look humble, not like you’re trying to make a fashion statement. Comb your goddamn hair, Madden. You look like Walt Jabsco, except he was cool!

  42. djcamerin

    Completely off topic…

    Does it drive anybody else nuts that karzihottkelli doesn’t know that there’s and “S” on the keyboard…I mean I suppose it’s okay to be all cute and trendy and spell “girlz” with a “z”…in the right context…but every freakin’ word that has an “s”…

    Clearly I have izzuez!

  43. to: Kelli

    Sweety, you should read books. You will find there are an enormous amount of extremely intelligent white guys from all throughout history that have been fighting for our rights. The media is controlled by – - – s so we are not able to have an active exponent. We are to become like them … coffee colored and racially indiscriminate. This way we will not have an indentity.

    Read books dear.

  44. Valkyrie

    #42 – I just thought of something…maybe the “s” key fell out or broke.

    Hey it could happen.

  45. Ferocious_Imbecile

    I’m getting confused; all these skanks in Hollywood getting busted for DUI and cocaine…I can’t tell them apart any more. Maybe they should wear jerseys with their names on them and numbers,like hockey players.

  46. wedgeone

    #43 – #45 – I’ll call you … a prostitute. A jilted 13-year old trying to get back at the girl that dumped him. A boil on the ass of society.
    Anything else that you want to be called?

    Can’t wait to hear how she flips out in jail. Or gets shived by the cholas. Or gets fed & comes out weighing more than when she went in.

  47. Jackspratling

    Question to Wise Owl: How many sandwiches does Nichole Richey have to eat before she ends up on “Hot Chicks with Douche Bags”?

    Wise Owl: Let’s think. One,… two,… three,… [wise owl punches Nichole Richey in the forehead] . Three.

    (Note to the kids– this joke makes no sense unless you watched Saturday morning cartoons in the Seventies. Even then, it’s really not that funny).

  48. Celebrity Justice

    It is so awesome, that these celebs can act a fool, while we get screwed in the @#$!!! Come on, she was drunk and driving in the wrong lane in traffic, and this is her second offense. She clearly has no respect for the law and the common joe. Nice!!! At least we know the justice system has our safety at heart. I’m glad the hard earned money I have taken out in taxes goes to support this display of justice. Paris! Lohan! …etc. Because we shell out good money to allow theses celebs the opportunity of this life style, you would think they would call a limo or a personal car service. We know it isn’t a stab at there purse strings. I just bitter because my mom was injured in car wreck 17 years ago, and her health is still affected by that wreck, it wasn’t do to drinking a driving. But I’ve seen what a car wreck can do to a person. These people should think of how their actions could hurt someone. I live in Va, and in the DC/MD/Va area, they have gotten tough on this subject, To the point, where a lot of people i know that would drive home drunk, will call a cab to get them home. I understand that celeb get there hands smacked most of the time for their stupid actions, but something like this they should be more stern about. I not only affects them, it affects all of us.

  49. Joe Fonebone

    It’s the latest conversational gambit amongst hollowheaded Celebs “Oh yeah, I did time dontchaknow.” Divs.

  50. ashla

    @ 41 – yes, it does appear that she’s attempting to channel holly golightly.

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