Nicole Richie explains male erogenous zones

May 24th, 2007 // 54 Comments

Ever wondered what sex with Nicole Richie might be like? Probably not, but here’s her explaining the male erogenous zones on the upcoming season of The Simple Life anyway. If you’re curious how she manages to get guys, apparently it’s because she’s pretty enthusiastic about licking assholes. And all this time I thought guys were going out with her for her brain.

superficial

  1. amos

    FIRST!

  2. slash

    Second (or third) is the new first.

    I didn’t even watch the video cause I just don’t wanna know what Nicole Richie thinks is hot. It would probably ruin something for me. Some things do not need to be known.

  3. It’s mostly about the balance between ruggedness and seaworthiness.

  4. tom

    we are doomed as a society.

  5. Blabbityblab

    Suprisingly she’s not completely clueless and sounds somewhat normal. Must be thanks to rehab

  6. mary

    oh god ew. that poor dude just got sexually harassed with his ?clothes? on…hope he’s getting paid well.

  7. narrator

    Fish: “she’s pretty enthusiastic about licking assholes”

    Jimbo: boioioioioioioioioioingggggggg

  8. I’d let her toss my salad.

    But that would be about it.

  9. sammishes

    Jimbo has to wear those anytime he screws his sister. She doesn’t like to touch his real skin.

  10. The Simple Life hasn’t been cancelled yet? Who the heck is still watching it????

    http://www.innerdrama.com

  11. WallyBungo

    i know about licking assholes but not much about playing the xylophone.

  12. Picturing Nichole Richie in a sexual situation is more disturbing than picturing a dead body as such … although, that is likely because your average corpse looks more alive than Nichole Richie.

  13. Dirty Sanchez

    That makes me have to shit myself.

  14. I’m sure the Richie family is so very proud.

    Thanks.

  15. Rocko Solido

    #13
    Preferably while having your balloon knot licked by Nichole Richie.

  16. Danklin

    Her licking asshole fetish explains a lot.

  17. Jenny Craig

    she prefers licking assholes because whatever you encounter is likely to be low-calorie.

  18. 1MILFhunter

    Did those old guys teach Nicole all she’s learned? Bet she’s still practicing her technique with them.

  19. DrPhowstus

    We know she doesn’t give head… her mouth is just an exit hole.

    @17 — HA! and eewwwwwwwww…

  20. veggi

    I bet she thinks she’s really having sex. God she’s smart.

  21. Roxy

    Her father must be so proud!

  22. adeliza

    I wonder if she’s ever licked Paris’ asshole?

  23. Bugman4045

    That is the first I have ever seen Simple Life. A 13 year-old could come up with more original ideas for a TV show. No wonder militant islamists want to lop off our heads.
    Although, I heard the Al-Qaeda guys are into asshole licking.

  24. NYFD

    I agree with what #24 said (that we deserved 9-11).

  25. WowJustWow

    What a filthy little toad.

    And they all clap.

    wow. just. wow.

  26. wedgeone

    #25 – I don’t believe that #24 said what you said, you insane freak. What BugMan said was that the al-Qaeda fucksticks should be working 9 hour and 11 minute shifts using their tongues as a bidet!

    Maybe salad tossing is Nicole’s plan for gaining weight. She should get the Nobel Prize for science since she’s invented a way to eat feces without throwing them back up.

    Cancel the show & put America out of its misery, you network execs.

  27. Judy2

    You can still see this video on Paris’ website…. LOSERS!

    http://parishiltonsite.net/

  28. Just Say No to Anal Intercourse

    Uh…doesn’t she know poop comes outta there?

  29. Bugman4045

    #27 – no, that’s what I meant. We deserved 9-11.

  30. you guys are insane, I love this site.
    I do wonder about those people who live in caves.

  31. polarized

    Uh…doesn’t she know poop comes outta there?

    I guess it depends on whether her hook-up has gotten the recent wet-wipe memo:
    http://wetwiperevolution.blogspot.com/

  32. BlohansDeviatedSeptum

    I love how you assholes can say “we” deserved 9/11. So an unborn kid never getting to meet his father “deserved” it? Why, for all the Muslim hating he/she did in the womb?. Did any of you inbred mouth breathers lose anybody that day? I’m guessing not. Although with the kind of karma you ignorant fucks are working with it’s only a matter of time until the rectal cancer does society a favour and weeds you out of the gene pool.

  33. macncheez

    YouTube has removed the video due to a violation – of a butthole. No really – the video has been removed. I think it just shows that even people with wealth and fame still like to lick the colon bellybutton.

  34. read yer bible bubba

    “So an unborn kid never getting to meet his father “deserved” it? Why, for all the Muslim hating he/she did in the womb?”

    No, because of the sins of his father.

    You read the bible, Ringo?

    (Exodus 34:6-7) – “Then the Lord passed by in front of him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and truth; who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations.”

    Your purposefully ignorant hatred is what will kill your son. Stop blaming other people.

  35. wedgeone

    #36 – Sorry – you must not be well versed. The sins of the father are no longer borne by the sons and grandsons. That covenant has been replaced.

    (Romans 6:9-11) For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. 1The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

    America ABSOLUTELY did not deserve 9/11, and the innocent who died DID NOT deserve to go out that way. But you militants who believe in blowing yourselves up in order to kill women and children in your marketplaces – you DO deserve your fate.

  36. wedgeone

    And it ain’t receiving virgins either!

  37. read yer bible bubba

    Please. Quote all the feel-good stuff you want from the New Testament. The world (including America) still runs according to the unforgiving rules of the Old Testament.

    America ABSOLUTELY deserved 9-11. It’s the only significant retribution for the pain and suffering of innocents killed directly by American soldiers or by American policy in the Middle East over the past 50 years. In Iraq alone, since the American illegal invasion and destruction of another sovereign nation, the tally of INNOCENT CIVILIANS killed is at least 10 times the 9-11 total.

    Not only did America deserve 9-11, it deserves another one – even more this time. After all, America had all the info it needed to remove its bloodthirsty and mentally challenged leader, including a full reporting of the innocent lives being lost in Iraq, and it choose to give him 4 more years to kill (which, obviously, he has – even accelerating when his father’s wiser friends pleaded with him to stop). America has never “deserved it” more than now.

  38. I’d love to fart in her face.

  39. my erogenous zone is in her mouth.

  40. Miss Skyline

    39: No, we did not deserve 9/11, no country deserves something like that. I could see something like that happening during major wartime, like a global war (think WWII), but during peacetime? No.

    Back on topic . . . does she, uh, like the taste of feces or something?

  41. Jebus

    Spoiler alert: There’s no such thing as ‘gods’. You’re all arguing over who’s imaginary friend is more real. Things you read in the Bible are not fact.

  42. ethereal

    #39 – How do you know what we deserve? Isn’t that right reserved for God alone? It almost seems hypocritical that you would use that kind of accusation against people, yet you tell those same people to stop blaming others.

    Passing judgment is not going to get us anywhere; it only creates even more bloodshed. I believe in a God of justice as well, but as the passage you used from Exodus points out, God is compassionate and merciful. Shouldn’t we be the same way?

  43. Zbigniew Winkler

    I must be in the wrong forum. I thought that this was a mean-spirited celebrity news column, not the “talk about our post 9-11 feelings” page. Save the blowhard politics for CNN.com

  44. Bush's dad

    “during peacetime”??? So peacetime is whenever you declare it, regardless of the havoc you cause abroad by covert ops and military strikes. Grow up. 9-11 showed that the world is ready to slap America upside the head when it wants to. There are many types of bullies, and America is just one – an old, fat, slow one.

  45. star69

    Well I tried to watch this stupor at P.H’s site:
    http://parishiltonsite.net/
    (thanks to the member who mentioned it)
    but within a few seconds my eyes started bleeding heavily and I started to vomit, so I stopped the search.
    I feel dirty. Can you get herpes just by going to that site? I just ordered some Valtrex online just in case I got it.
    Or whatever you use when you get eye herpes.
    I also poured some Ajax all over my genitals to kill the bacteria just in case it moved from my eyes to um..”THERE”

  46. Dementa

    read yer bible bubba, if that’s true, then I hate to think what kinds of slow-rotting flesh disease YOUR kids will inherit for their inbred parents’ nastiness. Rot in hell.

    Bush’s dad, no YOU grow up. The world is entirely made up of bullies, every last government and prez. So stop pretending that America is the worst or nastiest or even the only.

    All 9/11 shows that there are assholes who think that they’ll go to heaven and fuck virgins eternally if they attack innocent people. And before you claim they’re not innocent, asshat, that means you think anyone walking to work at the wrong time is somehow “guilty.”

    And it shows that YOU should have been handcuffed to the WTC’s bike rack during the attack, if you claim that it’s the fault of the people killed that some religious nuts decided to kill them. Do you also defend rape? Yeah, you’re making those nasty mean Americans look SO bad.

    “Old”? You must be out of your tiny fucking mind if you think that America is slow or fat, or even nasty compared to some of the civilizations out there. Or you’re ignorant. Or both. Ever heard of the Bataan death marches?

    And tell me, asshat, do you also claim that the British and Dutch get bombed and attacked because it’s America’s — and only America’s — fault that the Middle-East is overrun by violent religious fanatics? Take a look at some other countries before you blow off your anus again.

    The only ones who think that are either self-hating and ignorant, or want to hate the dominant power as people have for millennia (Romans, British, Chinese, Spaniards etc).

  47. The Mearl

    I wonder if she counts the calories in asshole

  48. you've got a tiny tiny mind

    “only ones who think that”

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