Nicole Richie earns MILF status for an evening

October 26th, 2008 // 67 Comments

Nicole Richie looked uncharacteristically hot (for her) at the Carnival of Hope gala over the weekend. I say uncharacteristically because she usually looks like Gollum with tits. How she pulled off this miraculous transformation is beyond me, but I’ve got top scientists over at NASA looking into it.

UPDATE: Got a reply!

TO: The Superficial
SUBJECT: Re: URGENT: Nicole Richie gave me a boner, please advise

Perhaps I wasn’t clear in our last correspondence, so let me simplify the terms:

We make rockets go “BOOM” so Joe the Spaceman can fly to the moon.

I really don’t know how to make that anymore understandable without the use of puppets, so for the last time, stop e-mailing us.
That said, the bitch stopped doing H.

Peace out,

Dr. Scott Brooks,
NASA

P.S. QUIT POSTING ABOUT HEIDI & SPENCER!

superficial

  1. tly

    She is kinda hot !

  2. its the dress. fuckin fabulous.

  3. Mar

    Primera!

  4. its the dress. fuckin fabulous.

  5. justtheobvious

    She looks like a mattress monkey. I bet she is a lot of fun in the sack. But her face kind of needs a sack too… But I think she would look great with my cock in her mouth.

  6. Cartman

    She’s no Heidi Montag!

  7. canshy

    Shes much more attractive than the walkin skeleton she was a few years ago…
    I still liked her chunkier.

  8. She still looks like Garfield the Cat.

  9. Thomas Payne

    EWWWWWWWWWW no way…it’s the face that precludes her from ever being called “hot”.

  10. Thomas Payne

    EWWWWWWWWWW no way…it’s the face that precludes her from ever being called “hot”.

  11. OK, I’m gay. I would not hit that, unless it was with a shovel.

  12. cfuse

    I don’t understand why so many people get excited over a woman who could only be considered plain and mousey under the best of circumstances.

    She is too thin (dangerously so), dresses like a scarecrow, and has no skills or talents to warrant the attention she receives. How does this make her attractive in any way?

  13. pirhan

    Not bad actually.

    And you should do what NASA scientist says – NO MORE Heidi and Spencer. Unless of course it’s plastic surgery gone wrong/eaten by a wild boar coverage. :)

  14. I don’t know if she’s had the vaginal reconstruction that would be needed to get into my bed after she shit out a kid. But to me she was at her hottest when she had an eating disorder (hey, you say “tomato”…I say “great body”). Until you’ve been with a woman and felt their pelvis about to snap under you, you haven’t experienced life!

  15. Laetitia

    You guys! Nicole is HOT! and she is far more intelligent than any celebrity featured here which exhibits itself in her wit and sense of humour. I really enjoy watching her and she looks better than ever here. She should have never gotten involved with paris who btw looks scarily OLD lately

  16. why not

    she is a lot better looking than that chubby rat faced clown aguilera

  17. pelps

    Really?
    Isn’t she the hot Milf on === Agelessmate.com ==== ?? it’s the real place where hot cougars and milfs hang out with sexy young men!! My friends told me so, gonna check it out!!

  18. Still, I bet Julian King consumed more calories, lifetime, than Nicole Richie ever will. He might not have been able to figure out the doorlock on a car, or even how to duck, but he certainly wasn’t cheated at the dinner table.

  19. Randal

    Nicole, you’re looking as beautiful as ever! Short and sweet, just like my response.

    Love ya! xoxo

    Randal

  20. veggi

    The bad news is that she still looks like a praying mantis.

    The good news is that she was last seen loading her kid into a white Suburban…

  21. Jamie's Uterus

    Why is this bug eyed troll famous again? Anyone?

  22. Randal's Rectum

    I bet Randal would have loved Stalin and Hitler too. Cuz they were famous!
    Get back on your belly bitch, there’s a cock headed for your ass.

  23. DaBA

    She’s wearing a wig. Doesn’t anyone notice that? Anorexia makes you lose your hair. Poor kid.

  24. loogi

    i like her she’s funny and her style lately is unique.. i loooove her baby which seams like her new purse! she doesnt go anywhere with out her!!

    go nicole :***

  25. scabbeus

    No talent and no education. It makes me wonder if she even kows how her body works and to provide proper hygiene. In other words, I see her as stupid, spoiled, stinky and skanky.

    I am sure cunnilingus in her household is non existent…well there is always the chihuahua!

    And finally, Obama has only contributed to lowering living standards in Chicago. His ideas for the country will doom us forever – please don’t be fooled.

  26. jlylec

    she still looks like golum with tits…he just put a dress on and picked up a purse. puke in my mouth.

  27. Pedro De Pacas

    She looks like a fucking lizard. Any minute now her tongue will flick and catch a fly.

    Get your fucking ass home bitch and take care of you kid! Puta!

  28. Pedro De Pacas

    She looks like a fucking lizard. Any minute now her tongue will flick and catch a fly.

    Get your fucking ass home bitch and take care of your kid! Puta!

  29. Pedro De Pacas

    Fuck this puta! She looks like a pinchi fucking lizard about to trap a fly.

  30. Mirvy

    # 18 Looks like you weren’t ever cheated at the dinner table either. Oh, and you’re a sick fuck to make a comment like that.

  31. LivewireT

    #22 That was so funny!!!!! LOL I almost choked on my ice cream…

  32. …………….is it a weasel?
    ………………………is it a mouse?

    nooooooooooooo, IT’S NICOLE RICHIE!!

  33. meborg

    Not even attractive anti Milf did anyone want this in the first place?

  34. MBA Nixon

    Good thing her dad is rich and famous, because Wrong Way doesn’t have looks or any discernible skills.

  35. friendlyfires

    In the long run, Nicole Ritchie is going to have the last laugh on a lot of these train-wreck tabloid spawn. We’re talking future governor of Arizona, an ambassadorship in Africa, then the Vice Presidency. And still be a MILF.

  36. brainless

    Not even for an evening.

  37. Wild One

    # 18 is NOT FRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You fucking sick stalking fuck!!!!

    She would never say something like that. Take a look at anypast comments from her and they are during the daytime! I hope she rips you a new asshole you fucking sick bastard!!!

  38. jesse

    hi!
    anyone want to tell me what “doing H’ means?

    I have no idea… cheers

  39. jesse

    hi!
    anyone want to tell me what “doing H’ means?

    I have no idea… cheers

  40. breastfeedingmum

    please….all that breast feeding and pregnancy give her some tits.

  41. 1moreidiotintheworld

    She looks like some greasy skank who should be serving me coffee at the local Steak-n-Shake at 3 AM….as I stare at her drunk off my ass, thinking “I could hit that…. Yeah….” Oh gawd no!! More coffee!!!!!! MORE COFFEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  42. Alex

    Nicole is hot. She looks way better with darker hair, though.

  43. mike

    Nope, not yet….

  44. Bickus Dickus

    I wouldn’t fuck that with Randall’s dick.

    Is she going for the “Jew who survived the Holocaust in a Nazi war camp” look and this is taken the day of her release? Skinny retarded cunt hag.

    If by some bizarre circumstance I ever actually had a chance to fuck this twat, I’d act like I was gonna be all into it, and then I’d stand up and piss on her. Filming the whole thing and posting it on you tube. My only regret would be that I didn’t get to piss on her and Paris Hilton at the same time.

  45. Joejam2845

    It’s amazing how attractive women can look when they gain some weight! How anyone thinks this 90 lbs. crap is attractive is beyond me!

  46. Lola

    Oh come on people… Compare her now to what she looked like before… She’s actually a little attractive. Everyone would look this good if their parents were millionaires

  47. Ted Mosby

    She’s got good funbags.

  48. James

    idea! In accordance with what now must be considered NASA guidelines, how about if you must* post about heidi and spencer, at the very least don’t include their pictures. Instead use pictures of Adriana Lima in lingerie or Screen Caps from Walker Texas Ranger or something. (OR BOTH)

    * By “Must” i mean Heidi has you in some clockwork orange style eyelid clamps and is threatening to make you watch videos of spencer jerking it to McCain campaign ads.
    Which is banned by the geneva convention and should get her terrorist ass arrested!

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