Nicole Richie doesn’t induce vomiting, brain confused

January 11th, 2007 // 99 Comments

God help me, this shot of Nicole Richie bent over with Joel Madden doesn’t completely disgust me. I’d describe the sensation as “dirty” but it doesn’t quite capture the uncleanliness of how I’m feeling. This is like the first of a series of steps that leads to me getting aroused during funerals and then ultimately digging up corpses to masturbate to.

NOTE: Tell me I didn’t just write that.


  1. danielle

    I don’t think she’s trying to seduce him.

    I believe she’s awaiting a burger that’s due to crawl up her ass any moment now.

  2. geek_uk

    I’d fuck her, just to fuck.

  3. ehhh….i still like her.

  4. FredLobster

    She’s built like a 9 year old boy for crying out loud.

  5. shanonorato

    God help me…but i think she looks adorable. she no longer looks like she’s knocking at death’s door. good for her.

  6. fergernauster

    Nice ass.

  7. jrzmommy

    I feel like I just looked at kiddie porn.

  8. Danno

    I’d slay her with my tongue and pillage her vagina

  9. jrzmommy

    PS: #5–that’s an original opener….where’d you ever come up with it?

  10. fergernauster

    She has always been cute as a button, but she needs to loosen the ties on her bikini top.

  11. Mick

    She looks good. I liked her better with Blonde hair though, but she’s gained some weight, looking better.

  12. It’s all the high protein manshakes Joel Madden is giving her. She’s guzzling so much chowpipe she’s gained nearly 20 pounds overnight. Guess DJ AM has some lowfat/low cal choad. As an aside, Mr. Madden’s tattoos look like a coloring book for the blind.

  13. Pointandlaugh

    #4….heh….and how would YOU know? [don't tell me....I don't wanna know.]

    yeah, the 2nd to the last pic…..she’s still a skeleton. No ass, no boobs. YUUUUKK.

  14. fergernauster

    As an aside, I like picking the scabs on my upper back ‘n eating them. Mmmmmmm. Crispy.

  15. polypam

    I love how they’re so aware of the cameras being around and seem to not really care at all.

    I guess you can’t when you called them yourself.

  16. I haven’t felt this dirty since I became aroused by an early 80s Jazzercise video.

  17. She still looks too thin, but at least she’s put on like 10 pounds.

    Thats right Nichole, you put on 10 pounds you FAT PIG!!! Now get into the bathroom and throw it up you look disgusting!

  18. BarbadoSlim

    I would give it some bony anal, buuuuut I’d be all broken up about it in the morning.

  19. BarbadoSlim

    and sore.

  20. fearsarewishes

    She has moved up to spinner weight class. Bitch still has the zombie mitts, though.

  21. combustion8

    she needs to work on that pooch belly… and that face.

  22. wedgeone

    She’s looking better than that anorexic pic a few months back. If she only had a rack ….

  23. She looks totally fine now-not too thin, not too big-just right. The world can now breathe a collective sigh and
    move on to more important things like the war in
    Iraq, drug abuse amoungst our youth, global warming,

  24. BSfan

    Pfft… Fat Ass

  25. knowhere

    that’s hot

  26. She still looks unhealthy. Look at her ankles – skinnnnnnnnny.

  27. ph7

    I’d like her to give me that pose while wearing a catholic school uniform.

    Bad little girl!

  28. Niecy

    She actually looks like a human being instead of a skeleton with brown hair.

  29. Lowlands

    Nice try Nicole.

  30. PunjabPete

    What exactly inspires these young tat covered kids to want to bang titless stick women? I mean, she is small enough to ride your junk just holding your neck and legs wrapped around. I bet I could do that for at least 3 hours before I even noticed she was there… But damn… No tits? No ass? That better be one muscle lined vajayjay….

  31. PunjabPete

    Seriously. We are talking Schwarzenpussy here… Anything else just doesn’t make sense…

  32. psychodelicate

    She’s looking loads better. If she really has body issues though, she’d keep herself toned and watch that pooch belly.

  33. kaiser

    great shot. she has a nice ass but I would prefer if she were wearing a thong!

  34. Me


    Do some crunches ho!

  35. woodhorse

    she is a cute young woman now instead of Indira Ghandhi’s stand-in but, really, Fish, if you humped everything you said you did, the entire planet (and some Martians) would know what you look like. And we don’t. At least CarpeMundus has the self control to only go for the tres jolie.

  36. It seemes like she’s has a nice ass…then I looked at the pics of her standing up. O nthe plus side, I can see less of her ribcage…its progress.

    Can somebody explain to me why there doesn’t seem to be a single woman in Hollywood who can put a bikini top on right?

  37. It seemes like she’s has a nice ass…then I looked at the pics of her standing up. On the plus side, I can see less of her ribcage…its progress.

    Can somebody explain to me why there doesn’t seem to be a single woman in Hollywood who can put a bikini top on right?

  38. Jenna

    Oops, sorry about the double post.

  39. tits_on_snack

    She still looks like Star Jones.

  40. Lowlands

    I dunno,does it looklike her bumbum is nicely arched?

  41. Lowlands

    Practice some more and try again.

  42. Lowlands


  43. polypam

    #23 Gossipmonger…

    First of all, she IS still too thin. But that aside…

    If you’re such a fucking peacenik and are more worried intersted in the war in Iraq and kids on drugs, why the hell are you wasting time on this site anyway? Please note the title, it’s called The Superficial for a reason.

  44. polypam

    Above should be “worried and interested”… early cocktail hour for me. Sorry.

  45. 86

    I love when celebrities try to look ‘surprised’ by the paparazzi.

  46. 86

    Slow day in celeb land.

  47. Meritocrat

    I dare say she is looking well and fit. Too bad she got so much criticism for getting thin…remember when she was a piggy little drug addict when The Simple Life started? She looked 90% better after she lost all that weight. And now that she has some muscle tone I think this is as good as it gets.

  48. jrzmommy

    There it is Pete, the zinger— buried in #32!!!

  49. crystalljackson

    Eh, still looks like a prepubescent boy to me.

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