Nicole Richie doesn’t induce vomiting, brain confused

God help me, this shot of Nicole Richie bent over with Joel Madden doesn’t completely disgust me. I’d describe the sensation as “dirty” but it doesn’t quite capture the uncleanliness of how I’m feeling. This is like the first of a series of steps that leads to me getting aroused during funerals and then ultimately digging up corpses to masturbate to.

NOTE: Tell me I didn’t just write that.