Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are engaged

August 20th, 2007 // 73 Comments

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People Magazine is reporting that Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are engaged. Hot 99.5 morning show deejay Kane had the inside scoop on Friday:

‘We heard this morning,’ Kane told People following Good Charlotte’s 40-minute set. Crediting he got the word from ‘good sources.’
‘They’re very excited about the baby and the wedding. They want to keep their personal life personal,’ he added.

So, the two are keeping mum about the pending nuptials. I’ll assume out of shame. Who’d admit to marrying Joel Madden or Nicole Richie? They probably wake up in the morning, look at each other, and sob uncontrollably. I bet the kid will pop out, scope out his parents, then ask to be switched at birth – with anything. The Coke machine in the lobby will do the trick. You wouldn’t even have to explain to Nicole why her child is a bottle of cola. She’d just punt the thing and say “Thanks for keeping me out of jail, soda-baby!”

Photos: Splash News

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  1. john

    think it’ll last a year?

  2. shanipie

    First BITCHES!!!

  3. shanipie

    Oh crap.

    Damn you John. DAMN YOU!!!!

  4. Wendy

    old news. tmz and perez already reported this last week when they were in nyc

  5. Morning Wood

    Damn, its going to be a long week…

  6. P911GT10C

    It’s funny how she’s getting less ugly as she gets more preggo. It’s amazing how not seeing a girls’ sternum will make her more attractive.

  7. I like that her tits are growing

  8. shanipie

    These two are soooo stupid.

    I mean whenever I read anything about them, like when he yells at her and shit, in public? I always say to myself, omg i’d never let someone treat me that way. how could she end up woth such a douche bag?

    Then I answer myself by saying “oh yeah its Nicole Richie, she’s lucky she found someone who’d fuck her that wasn’t some blind black dude whose been in jail for 35 years” she honestly has no better options.

    Sad, just sad

  9. Women are always attracted to men who treat them like shit. I’ve never understood how a woman could love someone like that.
    I’ve always put women on a pedestal and worshiped the ground they walk on.
    Can someone answer, why do “good-guys” always get dumped for the wife-beaters of the world?

  10. Jimbo

    #9 – wtf are you talking about? “why do “good-guys” always get dumped for the wife-beaters of the world?” why do guys get dumped for other guys? unless you live in the castro district in SF this dont make sense. i think i need to beat off on your chest (notice i didnt say breasts) and hair. then i’ll stick it up ur culo and blow another on Veggi’s face. oh YEAAAAH!!!!

  11. Darwin Police

    Thank you for the visual of Nicole attempting to breast-feed a bottle of Coke Zero.

  12. bebe

    *gasp* thats such a shocker.

  13. YouRang

    Nasty motherfuckers.

  14. run

    maybe these two will end up like k-fed and psycho spears as well. nicole does seem to have slightly more of a brain than britney though. oh well.

  15. Hemlock Queen

    Oh man, this kid’s gonna be so talented! It will learn how to stay svelte and emaciated from Nicole’s coke and vomit diet, while inheriting such rocking skills from Joel Madden. Black eyeliner at 3 years old is going to be the latest fashion trend. Oh, and being pregnant. That’s hot.

  16. mywellrehearsedmistake

    14. Not really that hard to have a higher IQ than BritShit. I’m sure Nicole’s unborn baby has more brain power than waste-of-space spears.

  17. bob

    she probably only got knocked up for publicity reasons. dirty whore skank.

    is she serious with those sunglasses?

    she is the furthest thing from attractive in picture #6. i want to give her some stick so she can go build a dam like the ugly beaver she is.

  18. PeachPie

    I wonder if they’ll say “til death do we part” in their vows. Nah. Maybe “Til the next strong wind blows” would be more fitting.

    My crystal ball says that Hillary Duff will be secretly snickering before that kid is a year old.

  19. Border Patrol

    I was trying to think of what the baby might look like and threw up in my mouth a bit….
    Just damn.

  20. Malffy Hernandes

    Big shocker!

  21. jojo

    Is it just me or there is something wrong with him? First, he dated Hilary Duff when she was a teen queen looking nothing like a woman, and then Nicole Ritchie, who, even if she is pregnant, is as curvy and feminine as a 12 year old boy.

  22. Annie Rexia

    If the cum towel wants to be “private”, she might want to stop calling X17 every fucking time she leaves the house.

  23. YUM YUM

    any child who types “first” (as in shanipie) should be force fed their own diarrhea, forced to lick a hobo’s infected ass, banished from the net community, and slowly killed.

  24. Robert

    He is ugly as crap !, Nicole can do better ! WTF ?

  25. bob

    can she? let’s look at her past boyfriends/fiances.

    all are uggos.

  26. ssdd

    Its funny to watch Joel Maddens reactions to all of this new ‘attention’ he’s getting… He’s like mister bad ass all of a sudden getting violent with the paparazzi ….. he’s such an Assclown .. No one really fucking cares about you Madden… nor do they care about that skank you knocked up. You two can slip away into Nothingville where you belong.

  27. jrzmommy

    Second picture, second row………………I………I’m at a loss.

  28. got milk?

    I wonder what she’s most attracted to:

    his totally bad ass punk style
    his double chin
    his budding man tits

  29. LadyJane

    I just farted.

  30. LadyJane

    Hi jrzmommy!!!!!!!

  31. Texas Tranny

    Can I sniff that?

  32. jrzmommy

    Hey Jane! Was that you I just heard farting? DAMN…YOU are no lady!!

  33. LadyJane

    my fart? Knock yourself out….

  34. LadyJane

    hahahhahahah!!!!!!!

  35. Texas Tranny

    and your dirty panties?

  36. my comment

    What a mockery.

    She’s got her prego boobs on display like a whore from her tattooed freak baby-daddy.

    Do us favor, don’t even bother getting married.

  37. LadyJane

    Fool. I don’t wear panties.

  38. Annie Rexia

    I would like to fart on Joel Madden’s face, then light a match .

  39. say it ain’t so Joe, Nicole Richie has committed the ultimate pussywhip

  40. but uh 100 bucks says the baby comes out black

  41. Texas Tranny

    Damn………….

  42. mywellrehearsedmistake

    40. We’ve been through this before Mr. Goodman! Her real daddy (not lionel) is black. And so she’s mixed race – so if the baby is also mixed race then not really that much of a surprise now is it? I’m fairly sure the baby will come out ugly just by looking at Joel. That’s one troll looking guy.

    And if the baby is cute looking then I think you have more reason to suspect that Joel is not the father!

  43. no1justminda

    Awww, they look so happyyyyyyyy!!!! Not!

  44. @42 dude shes puerto rican and white i can tell she ain’t black and when i say i mean guy in the background in pic 2 black

  45. mywellrehearsedmistake

    44. ok. whatever. I take it back. But I stand by my ugly comment though.

    If the baby is cute then I’m gonna laugh my ass off cos Joel ain’t the daddy!

  46. deedee

    Is it me or does her bump come and go from one day to the next??
    That baby is shrinking if you ask me,it must have tied a knot in the umbilicle cord and is refusing to eat (just like its momma).

  47. monstercock69

    Seriously – they have been dating six months, and she’s fucking pregnant. and now they are getting married.

    I give it less than two years.

  48. Andréa

    This guy need to kill himself.

  49. Clementines

    I bet she cried a really long time when her red ano string got too tight.

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